Chapter 24 (addicted to a drug called "Christian")

Mitchel

When he got the call that an accident had occurred, he was straddling Christian's lap, his arms loosely wrapped around his best friend's neck.

Christian had his hands on his hips, running them up and down his sides as they kissed. They both felt guilty yet they continued to explore the feel of each other's bodies. Clinton was mad and hurt and they didn't know what to do to ease the situation. He drove off in a hurry to get away from them without so much as a goodbye. They were helpless and didn't know what to do with themselves.

It started with Mitchel hugging his best friend in an effort to comfort him when they got inside. Tears were still streaming from the younger man's eyes, getting into his hair and dripping down his chin. He hated to see Christian cry, knowing that it was ultimately his fault. He didn't care that he'd killed Molly at first- he'd been overjoyed that she was out of the way. Seeing how it affected Christian changed it all. The guilt ate at his soul and he couldn't escape it. Most of all, he feared that Christian would grow to hate him. After all, Christian had every right to.

So he pushed his lips against Christian. He pulled away as soon as they touched.

"What are you..." Christian began, but Mitchel only leaned in again. Their friendship wasn't enough for him. He had to draw him in. He had to make sure that Christian would never leave him, no matter what. He had to make him crave him. He had to make it so that Christian was so addicted that he wouldn't be able to live without him. He wanted his heart to ache when they were away from each other for more than a few minutes, just as his did.

Christian accepted his kiss the second time and somehow they made it to his bedroom. They collapsed onto his bed where Christian sat on the edge with his arms open to him.

"C'mere," he mumbled and Mitchel climbed onto his lap with enthusiasm. He knew that his mind was elsewhere. He knew that Christian still didn't think of Mitchel the way he wanted him to. But he didn't care. Christian would soon. He said that he'd give him a chance and there he was, keeping his word. That's what he loved about him: he never lied to him and always kept his promises. Mitchel had to make sure that he wouldn't mess it up for them. Christian was his and he'd do everything within his power to make sure that it would stay that way.

As the blond man's lips traveled down his neck, he felt his phone in the back of his pocket begin to vibrate. He fumbled for the device and threw it onto Christian's bed as he started to pull his shirt off.

"Who is it?" Christian asked between kisses. His lips had traveled down to his collarbones where he was leaving a wet red trail. Mitchel replied that it was no one even though he hadn't checked the caller ID.

When his phone began to vibrate again a few minutes later, he forced a sigh and climbed off of Christian who was then laying shirtless with his back on the mattress.

"What shitty timing," Mitchel huffed and snatched his phone, picking up the call without even checking to see who it was.

"H'llo?" He asked, falling onto the bed next to his best friend. The sound of the mattress squeaking under his weight drowned out the first few words the person said. Christian slid his arms around him and kissed the back of his neck.

"Is this Mitchel Cave?" The person on the other side of the line asked.

"Yup."

"I'm sorry to tell you this, sir, but your brother has gotten into an accident..."

Christian

Mitchel burst into the hospital with Christian hot on his heels. He'd never seen him so determined to speak to a doctor.

"My brother got into an accident," He announced as he got to the main desk. The hospital wasn't too busy, considering that it was a Friday evening.

The receptionist looked up at him with their eyes raised. "Name?" They asked, and Christian rushed to state Clinton's full name. The receptionist tapped the keys on their keyboard and scanned their screen before looking up.

"Clinton was put into surgery a few minutes ago," They said.

"I know," Mitchel said a little too harshly. Christian chewed on his lip and rested his hand on the small of the taller man's back. He seemed to calm immediately.

"When can we see him?" Christian asked.

"He'll be out of surgery in a few hours. There's no telling how long he'll be asleep but... I suppose you could stay until then," The receptionist replied.

And that was how Christian ended up sitting on an uncomfortable sofa with Mitchel slumped in his arms. Worry radiated off of his body in large waves and they crashed down on him, making him feel uneasy as well. Despite how mad the two brothers were at each other, he knew that their bond wouldn't break. He knew that Mitchel would still love and care for his eldest brother all the same.

"It's all my fault," He sobbed. He hadn't even realized that Mitchel had been crying, he was so into his thoughts.

"Of course, it isn't. You're not the one who rammed into his car, Mitty," He soothed, taking his hand. He gently rubbed circles into his palm with his thumb, feeling his own nerves relax.

"I told him," Mitchel said. "You were right. We should never have told him. Now he has to carry the secret."

And then Mitchel looked up at him with glassy blue eyes. They reflected on his glasses and Christian could see the pure terror that buzzed behind them. "What if he goes to the police?" He whimpered. "We're screwed, Kras. What if I go to jail? What if you go to jail? I can't let that happen, Kras, I can't handle being without you for that long!" He panicked. His emotions were all over the place but lately, that wasn't anything new. Tears sprung in Mitchel's eyes and Christian wiped them away tenderly with his thumbs. Mitchel's fingers gripped his shirt as he sniffled and all that Christian could do to calm him down was pull him into his arms.

"He won't do that," Christian mumbled against his face, though he wasn't completely sure. He placed a small kiss on his temple and looked around the room. It was barely filled but they weren't exactly being quiet. They had to go somewhere else if they were going to talk about what happened. The risk of anyone overhearing was not one that he was willing to take.

Christian stood up and lent Mitchel a hand.

"C'mon, Mitty, let's go for a walk," He suggested, glancing around once more. The receptionist hadn't even looked away from their screen. Mitchel took his hand and let him lead him down the hall and away from anyone who could hear their conversation. Mitchel gripped his hand nervously as if Christian were going to pull away and take off at any moment. His separation anxiety was both cute and a little concerning.

"I'm not going anywhere," Christian said after a while. Mitchel didn't look at him so he said, "and neither is Clinton. We love you, Mitchel. Nothing will change that."

Finally, he met his eyes.

"Promise?" He asked. Christian didn't miss a beat when he nodded.

"Promise."

They walked in silence for a few moments, occasionally greeting people that passed by. The hospital was dark and had few windows, giving off an eerie aura. It was like a jail. Each time they passed by another person, Mitchel stepped closer to him and held his hand a little tighter. What was he so afraid of? Did hospitals creep him out or something?

Christian studied Mitchel from his head to his toes. It was still a little weird to see him without much hair but it suited him. His frame had somehow gotten thinner, and his clothes hung off of him in a way they hadn't before. Mitchel was still beautiful all the same.

Mitchel

He could feel his eyes on him. They sent his heart aflutter though walking through the empty corridors of the hospital sent shivers up his spine. He'd always hated them. He hated the sense of death that was associated with them. People only went to Hospitals because they were sick, or someone they knew was. Mitchel had been in his fair share of hospital beds but it never got easier for him.

So, each time they walked past an open door, he looked away so that he wouldn't have to see the inside of a room. Each time he passed an ill person, he clung to Christian a little tighter. I'm okay, he silently repeated to himself as he fought the dizzy sensation that had developed in his head. He took a deep breath as he felt Christian stop moving.

"Mitchel," He said. His other hand had gone up to lightly rest on his neck. Every time Christian touched him, he could feel little shocks run through his body. He met his eyes once again.

"Tell me what's going on," He continued. Mitchel tried to shrug.

"Clinton's in the hospital."

"No, what's really going on? This isn't some alpha-omega trope. No horny omega is gonna try to steal me from you," he joked.

"Who says you're the alpha?" Mitchel asked. Christian shook his head.

"Answer me."

Mitchel paused and watched as a mother and her daughter walked by. Christian didn't even seem to notice them, he was staring into his eyes. It made Mitchel want to look away, but somehow he was unable to.

"I just wanna feel something, Christian." He said. He gripped onto his shirtsleeves and made no move to let go. When Christian didn't reply, he said, "I'm so numb, and God, I just wanna feel something." The tears had already returned to his eyes in thick clear pools and he hated himself just that much more, knowing how weak he appeared to be. He couldn't hide it anymore though, not with Christian standing right in front of him. His back pressed against the wall and he wouldn't be able to get away even if he wanted to.

"I feel mad, I feel frustrated, I wish that Clinton was okay, but it doesn't matter, Kras! No matter what I do, I feel cold all the time, and the only thing that keeps me warm is you." When Christian's eyes changed, Mitchel looked away in shame. Still, he couldn't stop himself from asking, "do you know what that's like? Nothing's enough." He finally let go and turned away, Christian's hand slipping from his neck. His hands dropped to his sides as a tear fell from his angular face and landed on the floor. He drew in a shaky breath before saying, "Nothing's enough but you."

Finally, Christian spoke. His voice was soft and a gentle kiss in his ears. "Why did you do it, Mitchel?" He asked. He only shook his head in response, scrubbing his eyes with the back of his hand.

"Do you love me?" He asked. Christian replied with a yes immediately, but the answer didn't ease his pain any more than a bandaid would have.

"Are you using me to get over her?" He asked. Christian's voice was so soft that he didn't hear his reply even though they were only inches away from each other. Mitchel had a feeling that he already knew what it was anyway.

"That's okay," He said. "I don't mind as long as I'm with you." He then looked up at Christian as he basked in the light of his green eyes. "I don't mind," He said again and caught ahold of his sleeve once more. His heart squeezed with every word, but he said it anyway: "Please, Christian. Use me if you have to. Use me like a drug."