Chapter 17 (gone, gone again)

Christian

She's gone...

Mitchel

Christian stood stiffly in front of Mitchel, his body slightly shaking and swaying. Mitchel held him close and had the kind of mentality someone would develop if they found something important they lost: he'd never let him go.

Mitchel couldn't feel himself as he shook, but his body vibrated with excitement and energy. No one would have thought of him as a man to be capable of murder, but there he was, with Molly Reginald's blood over his body.

He couldn't keep his smile off of his face, the passion out of his eyes and lips.

Mitchel leaned forward and grabbed his best friend's neck, smashing his lips against his for what seemed like the tenth time that day. So many things had happened and he craved a shock of normality. Christian was safe and he was consistent. Christian was his rock and he needed him at that moment. That's why he kissed him.

He forced his lips apart and his tongue into his mouth, his stomach twisting and flipping and fluttering all over the inside of his body. He thought he'd throw it up, he was so excited. And then Christian moved. He moved for the first time in at least five minutes and pushed Mitchel away.

Christian's face was a pale bluish shade. He swayed and wobbled, his eyes watering as he hunched over. Mitchel knew what was going to happen. He took his hand and lead him around the counter, closer to the sink and his girlfriend's body.

Christian threw up in the sink. Mitchel held his hair back for him and rubbed his back. When he finished, Mitchel filled a glass of water for him to rinse his mouth and then drink. Christian was numb and defiant at first, but with gentle words and encouragement, he did as Mitchel wanted. Mitchel rinsed his hands and then took Christian by the wrist.

Christian

Mitchel took him by the wrist and lead him to the couch that he'd seen many times before. Somehow it looked different. He couldn't place his finger on it, but it didn't look right. He sat hunched on the furniture, willing his knees to finally give out.

He absently counted the beats of his heart, his eyes blurring as he stared forward. Through the corner of his eye, he watched as Mitchel shifted. He was mumbling under his breath and he didn't know what he was saying.

Nothing made sense. All he wanted was to enjoy a nice date with his girlfriend. What happened? Why was Mitchel acting so strangely? Why couldn't he will himself to move? Why was Mitchel climbing onto his lap?

Christian allowed his eyes to slowly focus on his best friend who was now straddling his legs. His arms wrapped around his neck as he leaned forward and placed a few kisses on his lips.

What was he doing?

"Forever," Mitchel whispered with a small smile. That was the only word he could make out. The rest was a long string of mumbles and sounds Mitchel made under his breath while rocking back and forth and staring into his eyes. Christian watched as his lips moved, trying to read the syllables his mouth made.

Mitchel leaned in with a grin, his hand gently finding his wrist. He guided it to his pants, letting Christian feel the bulge in between his legs.

"Can you feel it?" He heard him whisper. Christian tried to answer, his mouth opening but no sound coming out. He didn't know what he would say even if his voice did come out. Had Mitchel already forgotten about Molly?

Christian let his eyelids slide shut. The darkness that welcomed him was comforting as he imagined his girlfriend's face. When he heard Mitchel whisper his name, he opened his eyes to see Molly sitting in front of him.

She smiled an awkward smile but he could see her and he felt better. He looked into her eyes with a warm fondness and reached up to run his fingers through her hair. She sighed happily and leaned in to kiss him. Christian let her and his lips moved with hers on their own will.

He pulled her closer, enjoying the feel of her and her warmth. When she pulled away, he opened his eyes again, only to see Mitchel on his lap once again. His heart skipped a beat yet he hadn't figured out what was going on. Mitchel looked different. Where had all of his hair gone? Why were the circles under his eyes so much deeper? He didn't recognize that he'd imagined his girlfriend and looked around the room for her.

Mitchel held onto his face and positioned it so that Christian's eyes met his.

"I'm here, Christian," he told him and rested his head on his shoulder. He thought that Mitchel was going to fall asleep on his lap and the thought also brought him some comfort.

"I promise I won't go anywhere, Kras. I'll never leave you," He said. He held his hand tightly, intertwining their fingers. He felt Mitchel squeeze them tightly before saying, "I love you Christian. I always have and always will."

Christian looked at Mitchel with knitted brows.

"Love me?" He asked. When Mitchel didn't reply, he squeezed Mitchel's hand as well. "Love me..." He repeated. He took a breath before saying, "love... you..."

He blinked and then Molly was on his lap again, giving a little yawn as she started to fall asleep. Christian blinked once more to see Mitchel on his lap again.

"I love... you," He said slowly.

Mitchel lifted his head after hearing the sentiment. His eyes were wide and full of hope. He saw something flash on his face and then it was gone. "You do?" He asked. Christian nodded, seeing his girlfriend once more.

"I do," He said. Molly smiled and then it was Mitchel who looked at him. Christian gave them a little smile and leaned into the kiss this time.

He felt their kiss deepen as their lips spread, their hands running over his chest. He smiled into the kiss, feeling his body warm to their touch.

He hated how confused he was. He didn't want to feel it anymore. Both Molly and Mitchel made him confused. Mitchel made him unsure for years. Molly made him question himself. All he wanted was to do what was right. Were his efforts in vain? Would things have turned out differently if he made other decisions? If he went with his heart?

Christian hated the confusion in his head and soul. He wanted to forget it all. He wanted to stop thinking with his head and just focus on what was going on in his heart. His heart saw two people in one.

For once it felt okay.