Chapter 7 (The five stages of love)

Mitchel

They say that there are five stages of love.Stage one: Attraction and Romance- In the beginning of the relationship, both parties feel ecstatic and only see the good in each other. It can last from months to years- Mitchel experienced this stage for more than 5 years. He focused on his similarities with his best friend, and refused to believe that he was flawed. 

Stage two: Reality Checks- Many relationships end at this stage because both parties start to realize that their partner is not as perfect as they seem to be. Like everyone else, they have flaws. Mitchel experienced this stage before he started dating Jordan. He knew that Christian had his flaws, but he still loved him with all of his heart.

Stage three: Disappointment- In relationships, people have fights and often worry if they will jeopardize the relationship. Often times, small differences can turn into large fights. Withought communication and team work, emotions can be pent up and end up exploding. This often is the stage that ruins relationships. While Mitchel dated Jordan, he and Christian did not talk as much as they did before they had serious relationships. They often neglected each other and how they felt. The result did not end their friendship, but Christian spent a lot of time away from Mitchel instead of working out their issues. 

Stage four: Stability- After navigating through the tough times and rough patches, both parties come out feeling confident that they can solve new issues, and work together to make things right. Often, couples experience this stage a few years into the relationship. Mitchel and Jordan split up, and he took that as an opportunity to make amends with his best friend. Christian had already moved on from his ex and Mitchel accepted this, feeling content with the fact that Christian still loved Mitchel as a friend. Sometimes, that was good enough. 

  Stage five: Commitment- After being together for so long, and no longer wishing to feel stage one all the time, couples start to imagine their futures with each other, and hope to spend the rest of their lives together. They know that they wouldn't want to be with anyone else. Mitchel experienced this stage all at once. It hit him like a truck, and he knew that he could never see anyone again. 

The problem with the whole five stage love concept was that it went two ways. Both parties felt the same way for each other, and if they didn't, they broke up. The love that Mitchel had for Christian was never returned, and never would be. He found trouble in recognizing that and as a result, it felt like he was dating Christian even though he was completely unaware. 

Mitchel lived in a fantasy in his head where Christian loved him as much- if not, even more- as Mitchel loved him. He knew that it was not real, but he wished it was, and that was enough for him. 

And that's why Mitchel thought of another stage- one that was just for him and Christian:

Stage six: Obsession- When couples are together for so long and are invested in each other, they can't imagine a future without each other. Mitchel could not imagine being  alive without his best friend. Every waking hour, he though of him- imperfections and all- and in his sleep, he dreamt of nothing other than Christian. The stage begun after he wrote his secret song and from then on,  he was forever drunk with love on the thought of his best friend. 

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Mitchel stroked the blond man's sleeping face, running the pad of his thumb along his cheekbone and down to his jaw. He hummed the tune of his song as he watched him sleep, the faint sound of their T.V still on in the background. The light from the screen illuminated Christian's lightly tanned skin, making it glow in all the right places. 

A few days after the interview, Mitchel sat down with Christian and they re-watched their favorite episodes of Skins while eating their dinner on their laps and drinking beer. 

When Mitchel bent down and reached into their small refrigerator, he could feel his best friend's eyes on him. While they headed home from the interview, Clinton made him promise that he wouldn't drink too much ever again. He did of course, because Mitchel figured that they were right. He could feel Christian's eyes on him, and he turned around with two bottles. 

"What?" He asked, plopping down on the couch with him. He sat down much closer than he should have, but Christian didn't seem to mind. "One," Christian replied. "Only have one." 

Mitchel rolled his eyes at that and told him that he wasn't his keeper. It was humiliating how Christian (who was younger than him) felt the need to monitor his alcohol intake! He knew that he just cared about him and didn't want to see him get hurt and make stupid mistakes, but it still made him feel like a child. 

They turned on the T.V and watched their show for hours, late into the night. At around one in the morning, he could see that Christian was dosing off. He let the man rest his head on his shoulder for a while, and eventually he fell asleep. Mitchel smiled to himself the entire time. It was clear that Christian still trusted him like he used to. He still liked the close contact. It made Mitchel much too happy to feel his steady breath on his neck, and the heat of him radiating off his skin. 

Mitchel gently took Christian by the shoulders and guided him down to lay on his side. He pulled Christian's head to his lap and covered his body with one of the blankets on the couch. Christian stirred while he moved, but Mitchel whispered for him to go back to sleep and he did.

When they were in a comfortable position, Mitchel gently ran his fingers through his blond locks. He'd been growing it out again, and it reached just past his shoulders. Mitchel lightly pulled his fingers though the strands, carefully untangling some of the knots. He hummed Red Blood, sometimes quietly singing the lyrics. 

At around three in the morning, he bent down and placed a light kiss on Christian's cheek. He was about to slowly get up and head to his room, but he felt Christian move. He stopped humming. "Mitchel?" Christian asked, slowly opening his eyes. He stared down at them, heat rushing to his face. Was he awake the whole time? Did he feel the kiss?  Mitchel guiltily looked away, saying, "I'm sorry, Kras, I didn't-" But he didn't finish speaking because Christian reached up slowly, his hand finding it's way to Mitchel's hot cheek. He was blushing hard and even though Christian wouldn't be able to see it, he knew he could feel it. 

Christian lightly pulled Mitchel's head down to meet with his, and he propped himself up on his elbows. "Why'd you do that?" Christian whispered, his voice a little groggy from the sleep. Before Mitchel could reply, Christian leaned up and brushed his lips against Mitchel's.

He could feel his heart thudding against his chest with such speed, he figured he'd have a heart attack. Blood pulsed though his ears and rushed to his head as he felt Christian's breath against his face. Their lips connected for a short moment, and Mitchel pulled away in surprise. Christian had a girlfriend! He couldn't be doing this! It was early in the morning, and people don't think straight when they don't sleep, and-

Christian pulled Mitchel down again and he shoved his lips against his with such aggression that he thought Christian had a muscle spasm. He forced Mitchel's lips apart and he let him, breathing in his scent and tasting him in his mouth. Christian smelled and tasted like beer. 

After a few seconds, Mitchel forgot why he'd pulled away. He melted into him, letting Christian take the lead while he welcomed him with both arms. A tsunami of thoughts crashed through his head, but he couldn't focus on one- all he could think about was that Christian was kissing him, and how much he loved him. Tears pricked his eyes and he squeezed them tight because crying would ruin the moment. 

He could hear small sounds escaping Christian's mouth: little moans and gasps. Both turned him on and he knew that he'd be a fool to deny the fact. Christian kissed him until he was dizzy, but alas, the moment was over and Christian pulled away, panting quietly and releasing Mitchel from his grip. 

Mitchel looked down into Christian's sleepy eyes and saw nothing in them. It shocked him and he felt his swollen heart deflate. Just a moment ago, he had his tongue in his mouth, and now he looked at him like he was a brick wall. He knew that an array of emotions were displayed in his own eyes, flying and cracking behind his irises like a firework show. 

"Christian?" He asked, and he heard his voice waver. A minute ago, he thought that Christian really did like him. He thought that this was his way of confessing his emotions. Was he playing with him? Was he testing it out? Mitchel had gotten a lot better at kissing than he was when he first kissed him all those years ago, and Christian certainly did as well. But it was Christian who initiated it this time. What was he getting at? 

"What'd you do that for?" Mitchel asked. But Christian looked at him like nothing had happened at all.