guilty. (the end)

[♥︎]

Weeks passed, and obviously, after that family dinner where everyone was kind of everywhere except listening to old people mumbling about every little inconvenience they encountered, Phuwin packed his bag and got back home, where he settled for what felt like an eternity thinking about every little bad decision that led him here. At the brick of losing one of the most important persons in his life.

Even in only three years, Dew became someone Phuwin deeply cared about. He was there when needed, he was there when Phuwin would feel like his life was taking a bad turn, or when the world felt like it wouldn't turn anymore. Dew became a growing figure in his life, stable and reliable. His best friend, someone who was there in every aspect of his life. Not a day spent without the other, not a day spent without texting, without feeling the presence of the other.

So when Phuwin found himself without any texts or any word, from someone who was always there, his heart ached. Terribly.

But he didn't say a thing, he knew they needed time. Trust was shattered, lying will always have consequences, and he should've known better.

So weeks passed, and the guilt didn't leave him, at all. It was still there, gripping tight, making him remember everything, every lie, every secret, every heart he ever broke. He hadn't slept very well the first days, nor did he talk much. Dew didn't send him any sign of life, and Phuwin could only stare at the texts from Pond, who immediately messaged him when he left that day.

He couldn't respond, at least at first, because the guilt was definitely too strong.

So he stared, he read, he closed his phone and threw it somewhere to forget at least a little.

And weeks turned into months. Just like that.

At one point, Phuwin felt bad enough to finally answer Pond, who didn't stop sending him messages. They have talked, a lot, way more than what he expected at first, which slowly but surely reassured Phuwin. He believed every word they exchanged that night, every concession, even every promise. Maybe he was just desperate, but Pond seemed oddly sincere. It wasn't just words, he meant everything. And it was probably enough for that moment.

Then they talked about Dew, about what happened entirely, between them, between him and his best friend, and even between Pond and his brother. It wasn't easy to get some words out of Pond when it was coming to his little brother. It was like an open wound he didn't want to snitch. Feelings he didn't want to acknowledge. But by the end of the night, probably because he felt like he needed it, Pond admitted feeling like shit too, and even hurt. Two simple words, but Phuwin knew it was already a lot, especially for someone like Pond who didn't know how to communicate things so intimate. Who struggled doing so. And Phuwin was comforted to see that Pond was ready to give a bit more of himself, just so he could be reassured too. By the end of the night, the latter asked if they could see each other, but Phuwin made it clear about not wanting to see him like this for now.

He needed time too, he couldn't exactly act properly after what he did to Dew. It didn't feel right at all. Pond only accepted though he couldn't help but feel disappointed.

Then, probably one month after, Phuwin texted Dew, gathering his courage just to send a simple text. But it was at least a beginning. A proof he wouldn't let go just like this.

Dew didn't answer, which kind of crushed him mentally, before Phuwin promised himself to not give up, and as Dew asked days ago, to let him have some more time.

His patience paid because one night, at such a late hour, Dew called. Unexpectedly, but Phuwin immediately answered, his heart racing anew as if he needed this call to feel alive again.

And they talked.

A lot.

They confessed, they made concessions, they told each other everything that needed to be said, they settled, they were being honest, no more lies, no more secrets, no more broken trust, and at the end, they concluded that they couldn't live without each other, though trust might come back very slowly.

And so, a few days later, as they agreed on staying friends, Dew called him to propose a simple hangout, like they were doing after school, at the arcade. Phuwin was surprised, but he accepted immediately, the hope of getting his best friend back overwhelming. He would've done anything to bring their friendship back, to where it was for three years. So they reunited, and to be fair, even if it was very awkward at first, not even knowing how to greet each other with a hug or a simple handshake—they opted for a simple handshake—eventually, they both ended up easing themselves and enjoying their day. They grew comfortable once again, hitting it off, and basically played like the two stupid idiots they were and always have been.

That same afternoon, after Dew told him he needed to pick up some things for his parents at a very branded shop, and left him after they both had spent such a good time, Phuwin, for some reasons, called Pond.

Just like that. Without thinking further.

Because, and even if he would've never admitted it, at least not right away, he had missed Pond. A lot more than what he assumed as necessary. And when Phuwin heard his voice after so many days passed in the blur, it felt like things were finally falling back into place.

They talked, a little, shy, nervous, anticipating, but within a matter of minutes, Pond was there, in front of him, picking him up with a very nervous smile that relaxed Phuwin almost immediately.

From there, they grew kind of inseparable, and now three months in, they were officially together, though their beginning wasn't so easy or peaceful. They argued a lot at first, their jealousy not helping. Pond couldn't exactly stand the thought of Phuwin and Dew hitting it off more than ever, and the fact that he struggled at letting out his own feelings wasn't doing them any favors. Also, the fact that they couldn't see each other very often, since Phuwin would've never crossed Dew's house again out of respect for his best friend, didn't help.

Their pride was sometimes getting the best out of them—but oddly, they always ended up seeing each other again. In cars, in Phuwin's apartment after he moved out of his parents' upon being so pressured for taking after a business that was already falling apart.

And in the safety of their walls, they almost always ended up cuddled up against each other, no matter how mad they could've possibly been at each other just a second ago.

Their pairing was oddly working.

And neither of them would have complained. They needed each other too much. It was like this. They couldn't help it. The spark that once burned in their eyes was still deeply alive whenever they were doing something as simple as looking at each other.

And it was burning up even more when they would touch, kiss, or make love.

Pond was surprisingly a very attentive boyfriend, who despite teasing Phuwin for twenty-four hours straight, still showed him a lot of respect and care. He never raised his voice when they argued, and he was also the first surprised whenever he'd apologize first, even when it was Phuwin's overthinking mind that led them to the argument.

Now, four months later, they had moved in together, in Phuwin's apartment, as Pond was helping him pay the bills and was also basically already living here with how much time he was spending at the apartment.

— I'm terrified, Phuwin.

— Why?

Phuwin raised his eyebrows with an amusement barely hidden, as he was looking at his boyfriend's panicked expression. He didn't exactly look like the smug and arrogant guy he met months ago. Which was still the most satisfying sensation in the world.

Pond pouted while approaching Phuwin who was leaning over the counter of their kitchen, a glass of wine in hand, sipping slowly while his eyes were shamelessly scanning his boyfriend's bare torso. He just took a shower, the vision as attractive as the very first time Phuwin saw him like this.

— What if they don't like me? What if I... I don't know, maybe I'll fuck this up? I'm really not good at this, Phuwin, how are you not stressing out?

— Well... Phuwin put his glass down on the counter and took a step closer, his smile reaching his eyes with amusement and a need to tease him badly.

Pond raised one eyebrow as he felt Phuwin's hand sliding up from his abs to his neck, before resting there, eyes following the movement with need and want, before locking them with his.

He shivered hard, dropping his towel on the floor unconsciously.

— We have a little time before they arrive, mind giving me my gift now?

Phuwin was looking at him suggestively, and Pond immediately received the message, groaning before he could even process it. How could Phuwin just fuck him up with a simple stare? It was a very good question.

— I'm right here stressing out about meeting your friends for the first time and you're right here asking me to take you shamelessly, I'm starting to think you have a thing for forbidden things.

Phuwin chuckled softly, closing the distance between their bodies, his chest touching his boyfriend's, his arms locking behind his neck, his eyes demanding.

It was still driving Pond way too crazy actually, it was quite scary at some point.

— Since when do you care about those things? teased Phuwin as he could see Pond's eyes sliding down to his lips.

— Because I actually want your friends to like me, baby. I plan on being your boyfriend for a very long time, so maybe we should be reasonable and not start fucking in the middle of our apartment as your friends can barge in at any minute from now.

Phuwin shivered in his hold, Pond's hand finding his waist as easily as the electricity flowing between them.

— I promise they're going to like you. And it's not like you're meeting my family, though it's coming, added Phuwin with a sadistic chuckle.

Pond got a surge of nervousness, almost choking on his saliva even if he knew Phuwin was planning to talk about them to his parents. Things were serious between them and they knew they wouldn't be together if they weren't absolutely sure they were head over heels in love with each other.

Which they were.

— I want my birthday gift... whispered Phuwin as he tiptoed to reach Pond's earlobe, a sensitive part of his boyfriend's body he discovered and rediscovered whenever they'd make love.

Pond shivered harder and gripped his waist harder as well, his own eyes already darkening.

— You're unreasonable, baby.

But Pond was already giving in.

— That's why you love me, mouthed Phuwin as Pond leaned forward, brushing his lips to his.

— Guilty... 

***

dayumm 40 599 words, tbh I didn't expect to write that much but here we go-

Im actually very glad of what I did with this little fanfic, and I hope u'all enjoyed it too, as for me, it was really fun writting it and imagining the scenes.

Its not my first time writting but its my first time writting a short fiction AND actually keeping it short (tho 40K words might be a lot if u look at it smh...)

anywayy thank you for reading, and don't hesistate to tell me if you liked it by leaving a comment!

see yaa maybe :))