18. It's Gonna Be All Right

Yay, another Yoongi POV. 

I don't know why, but I feel like this story turned from hot, hot smut, into something fluffy (FOR NOW...) 

Yoongi POV

Okay.. maybe the boys had been right. This job was going to kill him. He'd only been working on the construction site for a week and his body felt like it had been put through hell, his muscles aching and his body at the brink of collapsing as he made it back to the apartment. 

And on top of it all, his nights were plagued by nightmares of remembering what he had said to Hoseok. Saw his tears and his shock as Yoongi screamed at him. 

He hadn't meant it. He'd been beyond exhausted and angry at the world for the reasons he had to put himself through all this hard-ship. 

He hadn't seen him since then, leaving before he woke and coming home when he was already asleep and the guilt and shame had just bottled up, never disappearing, not even when he was carrying heavy stones and pushed his body to the breaking point. 

That's why he came to a complete stand still when he turned on the light and found Hoseok asleep on the sofa. His face looked tense, even in sleep as if something was not letting him find rest. Quietly, he put down his bag and took off his shoes, before making his way over, then only stared down at Hoseok for a long time, unsure what to do.

He should let him sleep.He should go to his room and do the same, but something wouldn't let him.Yoongi had never been the type to run away from things.He faced them, no matter how hard or painful it was.

Slowly he lowered himself to his knees so he was on eye level with Hoseok, then reached out to gently wake him."Hoseok, hey... you should go to bed."

Hoseok murmured something, his face turning pained for a second, before he slowly blinked open his eyes.They focused and found Yoongi, who forgot how to breath for a second. "Kitten?" he whispered and Yoongi went rigid, stopping the soft shaking on Hoseok's back.

The boy sighed, closed his eyes once more before he opened them all the way and then stared at Yoongi, like he only now realized this wasn't a dream.

He sat up so quickly, Yoongi tumbled back and landed on his ass, catching his weight with his hands.

"Yoongi?" He breathed again, staring down at him, before snapping his gaze to the watch over the sink."Oh...oh shit, I think I fell asleep."

Yoongi righted himself, then swallowed hard, for some reason unable to meet his eyes."Yeah. Seems like it. I just wanted to wake you so you could go to bed."

Hoseok was quiet for a long time  but Yoongi could feel his gaze on him, shivers of hot and cold running down his spine, confusing him.

Then the boy sighed, deep and heavy and when he still said nothing Yoongi looked up, just to find Hoseok shaking his head, light brown strands falling into his face. His shoulders were hunched, his breathing shallow. "I'm sorry, Yoongi."

Such soft spoken words and yet they hit him hard. In no world was it right for Hoseok to apologize to him, when it had been Yoongi who had thrown his kindness back at his face, making the usually happy, giddy boy cry. 

But even though he was usually good with telling people what he was thinking, he found himself speechless as he stared at Hoseok looking so sad and sorry. 

"I had no idea I was making you uncomfortable with my fussing. You were right when you said I didn't understand- I never had to worry about money before. It probably makes me a pretty ignorant person not to see that I was making you feel like I was doing it out of pity."

Yoongi stared at him- This boy... he had never met anyone with a purer soul. No one who was that good and caring. And he... he had made him cry. He felt like the last piece of shit. 

"Hoseok," he croaked out, his throat thick with emotion he couldn't push back.He leaned forward onto his legs to he was kneeling in front of the sad boy, trying to catch his eyes so he would see how sorry he was.  "You have not a single reason to apologize to me. I was wrong. And I didn't mean the things I said. I mean... yeah... I wasn't used to people giving me stuff and I was scared, because the thought of depending on someone- of getting used to being cared for, it scares me. It scares the crap out of me cause I know how fast you can loose it and how much it hurts once it's gone and you're all by yourself." 

Slowly, Hoseok glanced up, meeting his eyes and Yoongi was captured again. Jeez, he was beautiful. It wasn't just his body, but that glow in his eyes. That kindness and loving nature of his- everything about him was beautiful. 

"So.. you're not mad at me anymore?" Yoongi huffed loudly. "Of course I'm not mad at you, you dummy! I was going mad with how guilty I felt."

Hoseok's face lit up like a Christmas candle and Yoongi was all the more caught by the light shining out of his eyes. "Really? Oh, I'm so relieved! I was so worried you couldn't forgive me."

 "Like I said, there is nothing to forgive." 

Hoseok nodded with a happy smile. "Okay, Okay. And I promise I'll try to be more understanding. And you have to tell me when I'm being too much, all right? Tell me when you feel like I'm fussing too much or make you uncomfortable." 

Yoongi stared- then broke out in laughter. "Oh my God, how can someone like you even exist? You're literally the best person I ever met. How can you not even be the slightest bit mad at me? I was mean and a total asshole and yet you're the one apologizing to me?"

Hoseok smiled at the compliment, before a shadow crossed his face, staring at Yoongi with a growing sadness again. He sighed deeply and leaned down with a serious expression. Yoongi's mind went blank for a second, especially when his scent hit him. Sweet and fresh and a tad bit of spice. "I am kinda mad. But not at the words you said."

Yoongi blinked up at him in confusion, and Yoongi, upon seeing his reaction, reached down and lifted him up by two strong hands under his arm. Yoongi was so caught of guard, he put up no resistance, even as Yoongi half dragged, half carried him to the wall-sized mirror in the hallway. 

 He turned him and made Yoongi face himself while Hoseok towered behind him, and boy... Hoseok mad was a sight to behold. "That's why I'm mad," he let out and Yoongi sucked in a sharp breath when he realized what Hoseok was referring to as he stared at his own reflection in the mirror.

He looked like shit. There were dark circles under his eyes, his lips dry and pale and cracked in some places. His hair was still sticking to his forehead from sweating so much and his hands were blistered and raw. He looked like he hadn't slept for weeks and then been put through a shredder. 

"I get that you need to feel like you can take care of yourself, Yoongi, I really do, but this is not taking care of yourself- this is ruining yourself for nothing more than your pride."

Yoongi's mouth parted as he saw the anger and desperation on the face of the boy behind him, looking at him through the mirror. He let out a deep sigh and catching Yoongi's speechlessness. "I know we only just met, Yoongi, but I do consider you a friend. And I can't stand watching one of my friends ruining themselves. I just can't. And look- me and the boys were doing just fine with rent before you moved in and we really don't need you to do this to yourself so you can earn your place here. If you wanna pay us back, do it by taking better care of yourself. That's all we want." 

Yoongi didn't know if it was his words, seeing his plea or just because he really felt like he was pushing himself too hard this time, but he saw himself nod. "Okay," he breathed and felt Hoseok's relieved breath against his neck. "I'll quit. I won't ask to pay rent again until I've paid of all my debts, but after that, you have to accept it."

Hoseok nodded, before a blinding happy smile slipped over his face. "No problemo! Oh, the boys are gonna be so happy I managed to convince you!," he yelled out all happy and excited.

Yoongi couldn't help himself- he giggled. Hoseok being happy was just... absolutely adorable. 

"All right, all right. Be quiet, Hoseok, the other's are sleeping."

"Ahh, actually we're alone."Yoongi snapped around to Hoseok in confusion. "Alone?"The boy nodded, looking a little uncomfortable. "Yeah... that's why I fell asleep on the sofa. I hate being alone and I was waiting for one of you to come back home but... well, Jin is at Namjoon's and Tae is at his dad's for the night. Jimin... he texted me that he was having drinks with some guy he met and might not be home tonight. So it's just us." 

Yoongi tried, and failed, not to make a face. He had a pretty good idea who the 'guy' was Jimin was having drinks with. At least he hoped it was Jungkook, because he really wasn't looking forward to Jungkook finding out Jimin was meeting with others while being with him. 

"Well, I'm here now. You can sleep now if you want," he offered, smiling at Hoseok who shot him one back. "Not before you've eaten something," he announced, then literally hopped into the kitchen, humming happily. And even though Yoongi was exhausted, he followed him. He couldn't remember if he'd eaten a single proper meal all week and he was starving. 

Hoseok was all bubbly and talk-active as he cooked and Yoongi tried to follow his stories, but often couldn't. Not because of his tiredness, but because he got caught in his open smiles and sparkling eyes. He had to get a grip on himself. Hoseok was his roommate and a friend, and saw him as nothing else. And it was better this way. 

They ate and more than once, the noodles almost came out his nose because Hoseok made him laugh in between bites, he was just that ridiculous and funny.

Then Hoseok grabbed two beers, told him they would do the cleaning up in the morning and made Yoongi sit on the sofa as he put on some nineteen's romcom. It was funny and entertaining and the beer a more than a deserved treat as they sat next to each other, but not even half-way through the first episode, Yoongi felt his eyelids flutter shut. He was so damn tired. Hoseok was quietly laughing next to him every once in a while and Yoongi's mouth tugged up in a smile, even though he had his eyes closed and no idea what was happening in the show. It was simply the sound of his laughter that made him smile. 

His body felt sluggish and heavy as he tried to keep awake, fighting to sit upright. But gravity was working against, him, his thoughts getting hazy, the sound of laughter slowly drifting off. 

Something soft came around the back of his head and only a slight pull and his head rolled down, landing on something warm and comfortable. Yoongi breathed in deeply, the scent filling his dreams and he didn't even notice someone taking the beer out of his hands and gently putting it on the table. 

He sighed, deep and relaxed as he rubbed his face closer to that warmth. There was a soft, little laugh far, far away and a voice carried on a phantom wind, light and breezy. "My little kitten. You can sleep now. It's gonna be all right, I promise. You're never gonna be alone ever again." 

Yoongi smiled at the voice making such beautiful promises and he wished someone would really say that to him. Say the words he had been wanting to hear ever since his parents died and he was left with nothing but debts and the cruelty of life. Maybe... maybe some day, someone would hold him and say that to him. 

Sleep took him then, a sweet oblivion where nothing existed, only deep, endless rest. And Yoongi would never know how the boy who held him in his arms- who had spoken the words he always longed to hear and let him sleep on his shoulders was no longer watching TV, but staring at him for a long, long time until he fell asleep as well. 

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