Chapter 10

Brax and Ricky figured it'd be a good idea to head to the city to gather up all of the things from the flat that my mother and I used to rent. They convinced me that we should go make the road trip. Since I'd now be living in Summer Bay permanently, then that would mean moving all my things from my old home to my new one. Once it was decided, Brax called up Heath and asked him to bring the four by four so that between his truck and the Ute, we'd have enough space for the four of us as well as my stuff.  

I didn't' own a whole lot and barely anything of any real value, but there were some things in the city that I wanted to keep. Old photo albums filled with pictures from when I was younger and my mother was healthier, mum's jewellery, my clothes and shoes, a tiffany lamp that belonged to my grandma when she was alive, a scrapbook that Flynn made for me or a stuffed toy that he'd won for me in an arcade game... small uninteresting objects that meant a great deal to me because they were of personal value. I could have lived without them, but it wouldn't have sat well. Especially having known that the man I used to rent the flat from would have ended up rummaging through mine and my mum's stuff and either dumping them in the trash or pawning them off for dirt cheap.

It felt weird being back on such familiar streets, especially when I was climbing the stairs to my flat and getting the keys out ready to open up the doors for the last time. I would never come back home to it. That thought alone was enough to rattle me to my core. On my way in, I noticed that the neighbour's door was slightly ajar and saw the girl who lived inside (the one I occasionally used to spend my nights drinking with) sat cross-legged on the floor with her guitar in her lap. She strummed a merry little tune and hummed along to it, then looked up in a dreamy stupor of confusion when I said hello. Her eyebrows knitted together as she beheld me in disbelief.

"Alex?" She murmured slack-jawed, numbly pushing her guitar aside.

"Hey, Tessa. Long time no see, huh?" I answered casually.

"What are you doing here? I thought you'd gone into care or something?" She asked, moving over closer to the door so that she could get a better look at me. She probably didn't' recognise me out of my waitressing uniform and in the new clothes that Ricky and Brax had gotten me instead to replace them.

"You heard about that?" I raised my brows.

"Yeah, sure. Everyone did." Tessa replied. From this near, I could tell that she smelt of cigarette smoke and strong alcohol. "We knew after your mum was sent to hospital that it was only a matter of time before those nosy childcare people sniffed you out and took you away. We figured since you hadn't been back in nearly two weeks that it must have already happened." She paused and looked over my shoulder at Heath, Brax and Ricky. "'m taking it that's not the case though, right?"

"Right." I said, before motioning to my family members. "These are my brothers, Brax and Heath and that's Ricky, Brax's partner. I went up the coast to see them. Then I was taken by social services. Then I went to hospital. Now I'm out again and headed back to Summer Bay. I'm going to live there fulltime with my brothers." I jangled the keys to my flat in front of me. "Just needed to grab a few things first. You know, pack up my old life..."

"And start a new one, huh?" Tessa grinned and offered me a hand to shake. "Good for you, Alex. I reckon you're doing the right thing. Living in this squalor and working yourself to death in that dingy café wasn't doing you any favours. This way, I think you'll get another chance at living. Like, properly living and not just surviving."

"Here's to hoping." I smiled, taking her hand and shaking it.

"Luck to you, Alex Braxton." Tessa said, taking in a deep breath as she dipped her head and retreated back inside her flat. "You should probably let Flynn know, by the way. Poor guy's been knocking at your door every day since you left."

I silently brooded over my strange neighbour's words long after her door had closed and I had opened the locks to my own flat and invited my family inside to help me clear it out. Her mention of Flynn had rattled me for some reason and set off an awful gnawing in my gut, like my insides were being twisted into knots. I realised, as I numbly watched my brothers pack things into boxes and bag old clothes of mine into black bin-liners, that what I was feeling was actually guilt. I felt bad because I was leaving this rot-hole behind, with all of my old friends still stuck in it. Tessa, my neighbours, the people I had worked with for years, Flynn, my mother... there was no escaping for them. I would go to Summer Bay to make a better life for myself and they would all remain here, trapped in their own lives. And what was worse, was that I still had the joy of having to tell some of them that I was jumping ship. How would Flynn react to finding out his best friend was just going to up and leave, just like that? And my hospitalised mum... what would happen to her? Would she be glad that I had a new home? Would she feel reassured by it? After all, that's what she'd really wanted from all of this, wasn't it?

Once all of my things had been wrapped up and stored away in the cars, I took a long last look at my old flat. It was an ugly place to say the least. Mould grew up the sides of the cracked walls and there were damp patches on the ceilings, as if the person living in the apartment above had leaked something dodgy through. The windows didn't really shut properly because the wood was rotted and it let in a whistling breeze that stirred up the pungent dank reek that hung in the air. The sinks only worked if you were strong enough to turn the stiff rusty taps and even then, only icy water trickled through. In short; it was a pig sty and I wouldn't miss it at all. There were no misty eyes or tears as I turned my back on the flat and shut the door for what I hoped would be the last time ever.

"So, do you want to say goodbye to anyone before we go to visit your mother in the hospital?" Ricky asked me as we hopped into the car.

I thought about the answer long and hard before it came.

"No. I've got nothing to say." I decided, feeling that I was either too weak to face up to saying farewell to Flynn, or that I lacked the right words to say to him. I convinced myself that he would be better off if I just disappeared discreetly and let him get on with his life. There was no point in unsettling the dust that had already formed over my absence.

"You sure?" Brax quizzed, his eyes settling concernedly on me. "What about that bloke you're soft on? Flynn?"

"Yeah, I'm sure." I said decisively. "The sooner we're gone, the better."

For a while, my brother levelled me with a hesitant gaze, as if he didn't trust that I was being honest with myself. When I didn't change my mind, he gave in and just sighed resignedly.

"Alright." He grumbled eventually, shaking his head and starting the ignition. "It's your call."

*

When I saw mum, I got the shock of my life. She was in a quiet part of the hospital, with her own room and a blue curtain drawn around the bed for privacy. It obscured my view of her from outside, so that I couldn't see her through the blinds of the window. There was absolutely no preparation for what I was about to walk into.

I was buzzing with excitement at seeing my mum again. In all of my life, I don't think I had ever been so far away from her for so long, especially not since she got cancer. The past two weeks felt like they had stretched into years and I was yearning to hear her voice and see her smile and feel her familiar touch. Although it was me who did most of the caring for her in our relationship, I still drew comfort and strength from just being around her. She was as much my rock as I was hers.

After having been directed to the right room by a kindly nurse, I practically bounded inside like a cheerful, overeager puppy running into the open arms of its owner. I stopped short when the bed properly came into view, as did the sickly, pale person laid out motionlessly on it.

I remembered when my mother used to have tumbling golden locks that cascaded over her shoulders and around her slim face. When I was much younger, she had full lips and glowing cheeks and eyes that sparkled like diamonds and danced.  Slowly, bit by bit, an excess of alcohol and drug consumption along with years of breathing in cigarette smoke had worn away her youthful appearance, and made her look more ragged and tired with every passing day. I wasn't sure why my mother had become so addicted to the stuff or why she hadn't thought that it was more important to live to see me grow up than to drink and drug herself to an early grave. I figured it was just an aftermath of the depression and the stress and the nervous breakdown from when my useless father had abused her. No matter how much I needed her as a child, she needed the drugs and the liquor more. They became a way of getting through the day.  

She looked nothing like she used to anymore. There was none of that rosy complexion left. Her skin was now a sickly, ashy grey colour, as if all of the blood had been bled from her body. What was left of her hair was just thin, ratty clumps and weak strands, split at the ends. Her eyes were dull and lifeless, all of the dance sucked out of them. You could see the veins in her frail hands. Her nails and teeth were all tainted yellow. There were tubes running along the side of her face, into her nose and a mask that helped her to breathe was clamped over her lips. Her lungs couldn't do the job themselves because they were failing, as were most of her vital body organs.

The excited smile melted from my lips as my eyes befell the woman lying in the bed. Fear, panic, hurt and pain crawled into the pit of my stomach as the reality of the situation came crashing down on my shoulders. Mum was dying. Slowly but surely. Nothing could stop it from happening.

Silent as a ghost, I floated towards the bed, nearing my mother cautiously. Her eyes were open, but were staring intensely into blank space. She looked as if her soul had already left the earth.

"Mum?" I called. It came out as a strangled squeak, so I had to clear my throat and try again before she heard me.

Upon hearing my voice, my mother weakly turned her head to the side and dragged her eyes over to me. A half smile twitched at the corners of her lips.

"Alex, darling." She wheezed, rasping. "My gorgeous girl... you're... you're safe?"

"Yes. I'm safe. I'm okay." I told her, kneeling beside her bed and taking her hand in mine. She squeezed gently.

Her eyes flashed fearfully as a frown clouded her face. "But the care home?"

"All taken care of." I reassured her. "They let me go. I'm... I'm moving in with Brax and Ricky and my other brothers and their girlfriends. The Braxtons have taken me in and given me a home."

"My baby's safe. Just like I wanted." My mother smiled tearfully at the ceiling, seemingly overjoyed by the news. I noticed a teardrop running down her cheek, so I gently wiped it away with my sleeve.

"Yeah. I'm going to be okay now." I calmed her, seeing that my words were making her content and soothing her. "I've got a whole new family to look after me. And Summer Bay is just amazing. It's a great place to live."

My mother coughed as her breath hitched in her throat. As soon as she settled, she tried to talk again.

"They'll be your family. When I'm gone, you'll have them."

"You're not going anywhere." I averred, running my hand comfortingly up her arm. "And if you even try it, you're going to have me to deal with." I brought her hand to my lips and kissed the back of it. "You're still going to see and hear from me all the time, you know? Even if I live in Summer Bay, I'm still going to make the effort to contact you."

"You'd better." My mother replied weakly. "I want updates... and postcards. Letters and... and photos. Tell me everything you're doing, always." She blinked away at her watery eyes. "Alright, Sweetheart?"

 "Alright."

"Promise me." She insisted. "I know you don't like to break those."

I smiled lightly. "Okay. I promise. Happy?"

A strangely peaceful expression rested on my mother' face as she nodded slowly at me. Her hoarse inhalation was catching in her throat.

"I'm happy." She panted, her chest making an awful rattling sound. She offered me a small smile, before dropping my hand. Seeing that she was overwhelmed with the effort of my visit and tired beyond belief, I leaned over to kiss her on the forehead. I came to the conclusion that as much as I wanted to stay with my mother, to protect her, it would be for the best if I left her to rest. She was exhausted.

"Mum, I'm going to go now. I'll see you again real soon, okay?"

Her eyes were closed as she murmured an answer. "Okay, Sweetness. I love you. Always remember that."

My voice fell below a whisper and I wiped quickly at my eyes, hoping no one had seen the stray tear that had escaped from my lashes. "I love you more, mum."

Her voice was so weak it was almost inaudible, but I just about managed to catch her words and read her lips.

"Not possible."

*

I received a pretty big welcome home when I returned back to the bay with Ricky and Brax and Heath. As soon as we rolled into the drive, Darcy ran outside to meet us and crashed into my arms before I'd even gotten the chance to get out of the car. She was all smiley and bright eyed and I guessed that she would remain that way throughout the next few days. Her sea-coloured eyes followed me everywhere, constantly clamped on me, as if I was the most magnificent spectacle in the world and she worried I might disappear again.

When I met Phoebe for the second time ever, I couldn't help feeling kind of awkward. It was a shame that her only memory of me had come from the night where the police and social services had rocked up and dragged me away kicking and screaming. She was making toast and humming a song when I walked into the house, weighed down with my bags of stuff from the city.

"Oh, hey." She said, having spotted me coming in through the doorway.

"Hey." I answered, slightly uneasily, shrugging off a few bags and dumping them onto the floor. Phoebe stared at them with an eyebrow cocked amusedly.  

"So... I'm taking it you're moving in fulltime then?" She guessed.

"Yeah." I said, trying for a smile. "Looks like it."

For a few seconds, the two of us just watched each other from across the room, not entirely sure what to say or do. But then my brother's girlfriend broke into a smile and whooped joyously as she punched the air. That was a reaction I had most definitely not been expecting.

"Well, good! It's about time we got some more girl power in this house!" She laughed. "As far as I'm concerned, the more females there are, the better. Don't you agree?"

"Yeah. Definitely." I smiled. "Look, I just wanted to say I'm sorry about the whole police and social services thing. It kind of ruined your welcome home barbeque for when you returned from the gig. I didn't mean for that to happen, so I'm sorry we had to meet like that."

Phoebe stared at me open-mouthed as if I'd just said the stupidest thing in the world.

"Are you kidding me?" She said in disbelief. "You don't have to apologise for that! Honestly, it's fine. It's not like you asked for it to happen. Anyway, if anything, it made the night more memorable."

"Maybe not the best memory in the world." I stated, chuckling drily.

"Yeah, maybe not." She cringed, before waving a slice of bread at me. "You want some toast?"

"Oh, no thanks. I'll wait till dinner's ready before I have anything." I said, then kicked one of the bags by my feet. "Besides, I've got to move all of this into my room and get it all sorted out-"

"Oh! I'll help you!" Phoebe insisted, as she popped a piece of toast in her mouth and rushed over to help me with my stuff. We carried half each and lugged it down the hall together.

"Hey, thanks for this." I said gratefully, grunting because of the effort it was taking to move the bags. "I appreciate it."

"Seriously, it's no problem." Phoebe claimed. "Anytime you need any help, just give me a shout. I'm happy to lend you a hand if you need it."

I grinned to myself, glad to know that Phoebe and I were okay and that she was happy for me to stay around. I was happy that we could put the entire barbecue incident behind us.

By the time dinner rolled around, I was already glad of the decision to move to Summer Bay and all my nagging thought on leaving the city where temporarily cast out of my mind. I'd been outside, soaking up the sun in the garden whilst playing ballgames with Darcy and Heath. My cousin and I were winning, but I had a sneaky suspicion that was only because Heath was letting us. If he had played to the best of his ability, I bet he'd have ended up thrashing us.

"You're so bad at this!" Darcy giggled as she scored another try, having shot past her dad when he had 'accidentally tripped over'

We had already played a game of soccer and basketball, but had quickly changed to football/rugby because Heath said that contact sports were the only games that counted for anything. Brax, who had been watching from where he was sat on the deck chairs, agreed whole heartedly with that statement.  He had little Harley on his lap, leant against his broad chest, sleeping soundly and snoring away. My oldest brother looked completely at ease with the toddler and vice versa.

"Oi! It's not my fault that you and Alex are so good at playing!" Heath defended, pretending to be insulted.

I grinned at Darce as she threw the ball to me.

"I reckon it's a good thing he doesn't surf like he plays ball." I teased. "He'd never catch a wave!"

Darcy laughed at the jest. "Yeah, dad."

"Don't you 'yeah, dad' me, you little grommet." Heath laughed, rushing over to pluck a giggling Darcy up off the floor and throw her over his shoulder. When he noticed me stood smiling and watching, he closed in on me. "And don't think you're getting away scot-free, sis. You're gonna regret that last comment."

Before I could do much else than holler for help and attempt a failed escape, Heath had wrapped his iron-like arms about me and heaved me up off the ground, so that I joined Darcy in being swung upside down. He grass swayed below me as the blood all ran to my face. It was a shock to me that Heath was strong enough to carry both me and his daughter at the same time. It came as no surprise that the guy worked in a gym.

"Brax! Help!" I called as my brother carried Darcy and I across the garden. I had no idea where he was headed or what he was planning.

"Can't, Lex. I've got my hands full with this one." Brax shrugged in reply, grinning as he motioned to baby Harley.

"Traitor!" I yelled back, laughing as Heath dumped me and Darcy in a pile on the floor.

Before either of us had even found our feet or realised what was happening, Heath had gotten out the hose pipe, aimed the nose of it at us and turned it on full blast. My little cousin and I squealed with shock as we were pelted with a stream of freezing, icy cold water. Our clothes were dripping wet and our hair plastered to our faces with the wet. When he was satisfied with how drenched we were, Heath turned the hose off, smirking like an idiot as Darcy as I wrung out our hair and shuddered, spluttering.

"You're so dead!" I warned him, my teeth chattering.

"Bring it, Miss Braxton." Heath retorted, smugly.

Just as Darcy and I were wrestling him to the floor and covering him in the damp mud and wet grass that had been caught by the water from the hose pipe, Bianca appeared on the decking.

"Hey, food's ready!" She called, before stopping short and taking in the sight of me, Darcy and Heath, who were all soaking wet and sprayed in mud. Her mouth fell open. "What the..."

"Aren't you glad you married someone with the mental age of a five year old?" Brax chuckled at Bianca, as he got up from the deck chair with Harley in his arms. His eyes flitted back to look at us. He looked like he was about to say something, but then changed his mind and shook his head as he went inside.

After having changed from my wet clothes and hung them up on the line, I half-dried my hair off with a towel before going through to sit at the kitchen table with the rest of my family. Kyle had come home from his shift at Angelo's and Phoebe was sat as near to him as she could get - as in, she was sat on his lap.

"Hey, Kyle tells me you can play guitar, is that true?" She asked keenly.

I shrugged. "A little, but I'm more or less self-taught, so I don't know much."

"Oh, cool! Can you sing?"

"Erm, no. Almost definitely not." I laughed.

"How do you know? Have you ever really tried to sing in front of people before?" She pressed, her eyes intensely focused on mine. I noticed she was wearing a lot of green eyeshadow. The colour matched her irises, but she didn't need to wear it. In my opinion she would look pretty even without the makeup.

"No." I answered hesitantly. "I don't intend to either. I'm an amateur musician. I'm not even that good at guitar. When I learnt it was just kind of a pastime."

"Let me be the judge of that." Phoebe smirked. "I bet you've got hidden talent."

"If I do, it's not in music." I said honestly.

"We'll see." Phoebe flashed me a wink.

Halfway through the meal, when I was deep in conversation with Phoebe, something threw me off.  She was talking about all the problems that came with living with so many men and made a crack at how the Braxton brothers hadn't really evolved past the monkey stage. Phoebe then made a joke, mentioning the name of some guy I didn't know. Having not understood the joke, I didn't really laugh, but pretended to for her sake. She saw through it and frowned.

"What's up?" She questioned. "You're acting like you don't know who Charles Darwin even is!"

I looked at her blankly, not sure how to reply. That was the dude whose name didn't ring a bell.

"Charles Darwin." She repeated, staring at me with an odd expression on her face, like she couldn't quite believe I was being serious. "You do know who he is... right?"

I rolled my shoulders uneasily and pushed the food around my plate with my fork. "Erm... yeah. Course. He's..." I noticed that everyone at the table was watching me. "... a football player?"

"Wow. You're not joking about this." Phoebe realised with a shock. "You genuinely don't know, do you?"

"Should I?" I blinked dumbly, trying to make light of the situation.

"He's only one of the most famous scientists in the world! He's the reason behind why humans figured out the science of evolution." Phoebe was frowning. "Didn't you ever do work on him in school? This is like year nine grade kind of stuff."

When her words clicked into place and it dawned on me why I didn't know who Charles Darwin was, I had to laugh, because the alternative was to be embarrassed about my lack of education.

Clearing my throat, I said. "Yeah... I kind of missed that lesson. In fact, I kind of missed that entire year of school."

Bianca seemed to choke on her food. I had completely forgotten that she was a headmistress.

"You missed a whole year of your education?" She squeaked in astonishment.

"Actually, I missed two." I corrected quietly, not sure why I had decided that now was the right time to tell them. It could have just been because Phoebe's question had caught me out, but it could also be a result of knowing that now I was in it for the long haul where my family were concerned. And if we were going to live in the same house, I couldn't expect them to go on without knowing the full truth to my past.

"What?" Ricky piped up.

"I quit school at thirteen to look after mum and get a job. I never went back." I explained shortly.

My family lapsed into silence. I had already told Kyle all of this, but other than him, I wasn't sure what and how much my other family members knew about my city upbringing. I'd assumed that Brax had been filled in on it all by the social workers, before agreeing to take me on. Then again, if he had, it seemed strange that he hadn't mentioned it to me at all, which come to think of it, didn't seem right. If he'd have known about it, he'd probably have brought it up with me. Maybe he had no idea either. Maybe I'd just dropped a massive bombshell on all of them.

Darcy, bless her, was the one who cut through the tense silence that had filled the room.

"That's so cool!" She chimed in, looking at me with that same awed expression that she always did. Unfortunately, this was one of the few occasions where I didn't want her to be impressed by my actions. She spun around in her chair to look eagerly at her dad and Bianca. "Can I quit school too?"

"There is no way in hell that's happening, Darce, so just forget about it." Heath ordered snappishly, all of the usual playfulness gone from his voice, which was now hard as nails. Upset by being spoken to like that, Darcy's eyes became large and sad, her lips pouted. She looked like a kicked puppy.

"Darce, why don't you take your food through to the other apartment and eat it in there?" Bianca advised softly, gently putting a hand on the girl's slim shoulder.

"But I want to stay in here with you  everyone else." She disputed adamantly.

"Harley's in his cot in there too. He probably wants your company." Bianca reasoned, to which Darcy's eyes softened. Sighing and huffing, she swung her legs off the chair and took her plate through to the other apartment. As soon as she was out of earshot and eyesight, my gaze fell on Heath, who was scowling across the table at me.

"So you haven't been to school since you were thirteen?" He interrogated.

"No." I answered tentatively.

"Because..." He pushed, crossing his arms over his chest. He was obviously wanting an explanation.

"Like I said, I had to look after mum." I responded carefully. "She stopped working because of..." the answer was that she'd been fired due to her drug and alcohol addiction, but I wasn't about to say that, so I put it into different words. "... Because of the tough time she was going through. Someone needed to pay the rent and buy the food we needed. For a while, that was my make-do, idiot 'step dad', but then when he left, the job sort of fell to me. So I quit school and started work."

"Why didn't you ever go back?" Phoebe asked.

I shrugged. "Mum never got better. She got worse. Then when she was diagnosed..." I shook my head. "Well, I knew I was never going back after that."

"And the school didn't even notice?" Bianca inquired, her face a picture of puzzlement.  "They never realised that you'd just stopped going?"

I took a deep breath and nodded. "I got them to transfer all the files to another school and pretended that I was moving there. Then I had that school send the files to me because I told them that I'd changed my mind and had applied somewhere else. My records disappeared from both schools and neither of them were any the wiser that I had not gone through with any real transferals. I just dropped off their radar and made sure not to draw any attention to myself in any way. I figured I'd be able to hold out until I was sixteen without anyone ever noticing."

"Unbelievable." Bianca murmured, more to herself than to anyone else. Heath, who was sat beside her, was wearing an irate frown.

"Why didn't you think to tell us all of this before?" He demanded, seemingly annoyed with me for keeping it to myself. "Why did you wait so long to say anything? This isn't the type of information you hide from your family!"

"If you haven't noticed, Heath, Alex has had a lot going on recently." Kyle pointed out, jumping to my defence. "She'd only been with us a week. Did you really expect her to tell us all about what was happening in her life? She didn't even know if she could trust us then. The only reason I found out was because I accidently-"

"Whoa, hold on!" Brax broke in, finally becoming part of the conversation. He had been quietly listing and observing me, but now he turned to narrow his eyes accusingly at Kyle. His voice became dangerously low. "You knew about this?"

Now everyone's eyes were on Kyle, who didn't seem to like being in the spotlight very much.

"I may have overheard Alex's phone conversation to her mum." He confessed, choosing every word with caution.

"May have?" Heath cut across.

"When was this?" Brax challenged him.

Kyle looked really guilty as he squirmed in his seat and chewed his lip. "The first night Alex got here. When we were both out in the garden."

"So, let me get this straight." Brax fumed, glaring at our half-brother. "You've known from the start, that Alex was in danger of going into care, that her mother was seriously ill with cancer and that she was struggling on her own and hadn't been to school in over two years. Still, you didn't think to say anything about it? To even mention it to us?"

"What happened, Kylie?" Heath probed provocatively. "Did it just slip your mind, did it?"

"No!" I snapped, raising my voice so that it would catch all of their attention and draw the heat away from Kyle. "It's not his fault. I begged him not to say anything and told him I'd tell you myself when I was ready to."

"But that's just it, isn't it?" Brax said. "You didn't tell us in the end, because it was too late. You were taken away by social services and we had to fight really hard to get you back, and only managed it through luck."

"Yeah, I know, I'm sorry. I should have warned you sooner." I mumbled, but Brax was far from done. Something told me this conversation had been weighing on his mind for a while and the words coming from his mouth were things he was dying to get off of his chest.

 "You can't keep secrets like this away from us, Alex." He told me seriously. "If this is going to work than we need to know what's going on with you. I spent all of that first week trying to find out as much as I could about your life and you lied to me. How am I supposed to help you if you're not honest or straight with me?"

"I don't need help." I muttered stubbornly, but knew how pathetic it sounded coming from me, who was I desperate need of help and had been for years.

 "Well that's just tough because we're going to help you whether you like it or not." My oldest brother said, before taking in a deep breath and leaning forwards in his chair. "I've been trying to think of ways to bring up this conversation for a while, so now seems like a good enough time." His icy blue-green eyes bore into mine and I could see his jaw tensing. "We need to talk about you going back to school."

I dropped my eyes down to the table and groaned tiredly. "Can we please not?"

"I know you don't want to go and that it's a scary thought for you, but we have to talk about it sooner rather than later." Brax ordered. "One of the conditions of me getting custody was that you had to be back in school within two weeks prior to moving into the house. As much as you hate it, you can't avoid it forever, Lex."

"Maybe not forever, but I can avoid it tonight." I countered, pushing back my chair and leaving the table. The mere thought of having to put on a school uniform and walk through the front gates of a school and into a classroom filled with kids two years younger than me made me feel sick to the stomach. I just couldn't do it. As much as Brax wanted me to, I wasn't able to face this fear.

"Alex, where you going?" Brax asked as I made my way out towards the door. "Alex?"

"Just give me some time, okay?" I pleaded. "I seriously don't want to even think about school right now."

"Alex! Come back here!" Brax called  for me, as I went into my room and shut the door after me. The quiet seemed to swallow me whole. I could hardly remember the last time I'd had peace and quiet like this. It must have been before I'd been taken into care.

Crossing the room, I collapsed on my bed and rested my head back on the pillow. I felt my pulse slow as my heart's rhythm steadied in my chest. Weary, I briefly eased my eyelids shut. When it came to trying to open them again, I found that I couldn't because I was just too tired. Not wanting to, but having no choice over the matter, I gave in to temptation and drifted off into a deep sleep, allowing myself to succumb to a world of dreams and nightmares where I was back in a school classroom being ridiculed and made to feel stupid.

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Hey guys, hope you like the update even if it's kind of slow going. Just a heads up - the next chapter should be a good one ;) please vote and comment - it's what keeps me writing! Thanks :)