WEEK TWO: Tuesday (Yuzuru)

I stayed for the second years' demonstration, hyper aware that Seryou was probably up on stage right this very moment, wearing that skimpy punk-rock-angel outfit that made my stomach feel funny. His classmates would be hanging all over him while he twirled them and dipped them and the audience screamed his name. I really hadn't known what to do yesterday, when he was so gorgeous that my heart was doing backflips every time he looked at me, and yet I was just one of hundreds of people having the same reaction to his overwhelming beauty.

I know exactly how to touch Touji so that he'll be just begging you for more.

Fuck, that Shino was a real piece of work. Why would Seryou have ever hooked up with someone like her? She was evil incarnate. But that didn't change the fact that she had something with him that I didn't. She knew him in all these really intimate ways that made me both angry and fearful. Angry, because I hated that she'd had all these sexual experiences with him that clearly meant so little to her. Fearful, because I didn't know if I was capable of giving him what she had. Or if he'd even want something like that from me.

And what if he did? What if he did, and I couldn't do it?

Bizarrely enough, I found myself kind of wishing I could talk to Yuriko. Asking your thirteen year old sister for sex advice was a terrible idea, but Yuriko knew about gay stuff. She had a ton of gay manga in her room and was kind of obsessed with pop star fan service. I'd always thought it was super weird, but now it made her the most knowledgeable person I knew when it came to this kind of thing... No, no, I couldn't say anything to her. Having those first years following Seryou and me around was bad enough, I didn't need my little sister perving on us too. Plus she kind of had a crush on Seryou and would probably hate me forever if she found out I was dating him.

When the second years were done with their demo I returned to the same spot as this morning to give more lessons. The line of visitors wanting to try out the bow curled all the way through the dojo. Masamune came over, since he was going to be my runner this time around. First up was a foreigner, a guy with ruddy skin, blond hair and pale blue eyes.

"Good afternoon," he said to me in heavily accented Japanese, bowing. "Nice to meet you."

I got the sense those were the only Japanese words he knew. "Where are you from?" I asked in English, and his face immediately brightened.

"Canada," he answered. "My name's David."

"Hi David, I'm Yuzuru. It's nice to meet you. What brings you to Japan?"

"I'm here on vacation with my wife." He gestured to the woman next to us, whom Tajiri was fitting with a breastplate. "She graduated from Houka Academy five years ago and really wanted to come to the festival while we were in town."

I nodded and took his hand, gauging what size glove he would need. I picked the largest of the three we had and handed it to him. "Here, put this on. The strap goes around your wrist. Make sure it's tight."

He followed my instructions, grinning. "Wow, your English is great! You must study very hard."

I laughed. "Not really. I just like watching a lot of movies." He had the glove on, so I gestured at the edge of the mat. "Please come stand here. This is the bow. You will hold it in your left hand, like that, and then draw with your right. Want to practice?"

I showed him how to draw, then started helping him with the arrows. He was a really nice guy, and let me ask him a bunch of questions in between shots that had nothing to do with archery. We had native English speaking teachers at my cram school, but meeting someone like this who wasn't a teacher was better. He didn't try to oversimplify his vocabulary for my sake, so some of the things he said were challenging to figure out. And he was really interesting. Apparently he'd met his wife in Canada at university while she was studying abroad. They'd dated for a year, then had a long-distance relationship for another year after she returned to Japan to finish her degree. She'd moved back to Canada afterward and they'd gotten married.

"How long will you be in Yokohama?" I asked.

"We're visiting her family through New Year's."

"Have you guys gone to Sky Garden yet?"

"What's that?"

I grinned and told him, then gave him a wink. "Yokohama is the most romantic city in Japan. Since you are here with your wife you should make sure to visit all the best places. If you want, you can give me your email and I'll send you a list."

"That would be awesome," he replied, and pulled out a phone from his pocket. "What's your email address? I'll send you a message right now."

I gave it to him, then helped him with his final shot of the round. While Masamune was running after the arrows I took the opportunity to shake David's hand and thank him for the conversation. His wife also inclined her head to me.

"You know, I wasn't happy when I heard that Houka had begun enrolling boys after I graduated," she said to me in Japanese. "But if they're all as attractive and charming as you, it's a pleasure to call you my underclassmen."

I bowed. "Thank you, Senpai. I hope you both enjoy the rest of your visit."

Because the line of folks wanting lessons was so long, Masamune grabbed another bow and set up next to me so we could fit in as many as possible. I considered calling Seryou to come run for us, but I didn't know where he was right now, and with Shino's unsettling comments still ringing in my ears I wasn't sure I could handle seeing him. Besides, he'd worked himself way too hard yesterday. I didn't want a repeat of that frightening episode he'd had at the assembly hall, where he'd looked like he was going to pass out.

We finished out the hour of lessons, thanked everyone for coming, and started resetting the equipment for the last demonstration of the day. I ducked into the locker room to get my water bottle and realized my stomach was growling. In all the activity I hadn't had the chance to eat. I had to shoot in a few minutes, so I grabbed a pack of crackers from my bag and stuffed them in my mouth while I checked my phone. Nothing from Seryou, but I had that email from David so I could send the list of local attractions I'd promised. And there was a message from Okada.

It was great to see you again.

I sent him a quick reply, stuck the phone in my bag, and tossed the empty cracker package in the trash on my way back out to the dojo.

I didn't do quite as well as yesterday, a couple of my shots ended up in the first ring instead of the bullseye, but the ritual of shooting was good for me. It gave me a sense of peace about things. By the time the round was over, I was almost not even worried about the crap Shino had said earlier.

Almost.

My stomach was really pissy at having been empty for so long, though, so once we were done I headed back into the locker room to change. I was just closing my locker up when Seryou came in. He was still wearing that white costume with the barely-there shirt and shiny pants that looked like they'd been painted on. He saw me and halted uncertainly by the door.

I felt it too, the uncomfortable distance between us that Shino had created. Her lewd comments had pushed us both into a place we weren't ready to be yet, and now everything felt awkward and embarrassing and charged with way too much sexual tension. His outfit definitely wasn't helping, either. Thick black eyeliner made his piercing eyes all the more intense, and the dangly silver earring added a hard edge to his pretty-boy look. The white pleather pants were so tight I felt kind of dirty for even looking at them. And then there were the boots that came up to his knees and turned him into a giant. A skinny, angelic, dangerous, impossibly sexy giant.

We stood there not-looking at each other. Finally I cleared my throat. "How was your dance?"

"It was good," he said, sounding every bit as flustered as I felt.

The silence went on too long, and my stomach rumbled to remind me that there were other things I should be paying attention to besides Seryou and his obscenely tight pants.

"Have you eaten?" I asked.

He shook his head, sending the earring swinging into his hair. "Not yet."

I made up my mind and walked over, grabbing his wrist. "Let's get food, come on." I pulled him with me back into the gym, and because I couldn't think of a better idea I headed for my class's takoyaki booth.

Eventually I realized he was stumbling a little to keep up with me. I slowed down and let go of his wrist. "Sorry," I mumbled. "I'm hungry."

"No, it's okay. What do you want to eat?"

"I was gonna go to my class's takoyaki stand. Unless you want something else?"

"Takoyaki's good," he said quickly, and we made it to the end of the row where Akaike was handing trays of the golden fried snacks to a cluster of customers. She caught sight of me and waved, then shrieked when her attention landed on Seryou.

"Seryou-kun, oh my god. I heard you were doing a super hot dance for the festival but I had no idea it was this hot." She raked him up and down with her eyes. "Look at you. I just want to bite you all over."

Are all girls this vulgar? I'd had enough. "Wipe your drool and give us some takoyaki, Akaike-chan."

"How many?" she asked, not taking her eyes from Seryou.

"Six. Actually, make it eight."

"You got it." She stretched a hand behind her and wiggled her fingers at Uchida and Tanaka, who were working the electric grills. "Give me eight, you guys, hurry up."

Tanaka put a plate of them in her hand and she held it out to Seryou. I started to get my wallet out, but she gave him a dreamy smile. "These are on the house."

I rolled my eyes and reached for the plate, but she jerked it away and thrust it at Seryou again. He took it with a small bow. "Thank you, Senpai, you're very kind."

Kind, my ass. Horny is more like it. I took the plate of snacks from him and grabbed his wrist again. We garnered a lot of attention walking back through the row of booths, so finally I just took a short-cut between two of the stands in order to get to the maid café in the back corner. I claimed the closest open table and set the food down.

When I turned to Seryou, I realized he'd attracted another swarm of admirers who were fluttering around him, touching his jacket and giggling and snapping pictures. I was about ready to start whacking them away like the leeches that they were when he turned around and held up his hands.

"Hey guys, thanks so much for all your support, it's really kind of amazing. If you don't mind, though, I'd like to eat with Yuzuru-san alone for a while—we have archery club stuff to discuss. Would that be okay?"

They giggled and swooned some more, but backed off. He turned back to me, pulling a chair out so he could sit sideways. "I'm sorry about that."

I grunted. "Well, it is your fault. Coming out here looking like that."

I pushed the plate of takoyaki toward him, picking one up for myself. We ate in silence for a while. One of the third year girls in a maid costume came over to our table.

"Can I get you guys anything?"

Seryou looked at me. "What do you want?"

"Um... you're the coffee expert. You decide."

He looked kind of pleased at that. "Okay. Americano for me, and a mocha for Yuzuru-san. Do we have strawberry syrup back there?" The girl nodded. "Put a shot in the mocha, please."

That actually sounded really good. Seryou sure knew what made me happy... My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I pulled it out. Okada had messaged me back.

Sorry I couldn't stay for the second day of your festival. Hope it's going well.

I grinned and started typing. Well enough. Wish it wasn't ending tomorrow.

It took only a few seconds for him to reply. Another reason you should think about coming to T.U. next year. Our festival lasts a whole week, you know!

I laughed out loud.

"Who are you talking to?" Seryou asked as I typed another message.

"Okada-san. He's back in Tokyo today."

"Oh. You guys must be really close."

I finished my response and hit send. "Not really. We got along great in junior high but I barely see him anymore. It was cool that he showed up yesterday." I looked up. Seryou's complexion was pale, his eyes sharp and dramatic, his hair framing his delicate features like fine artwork. My breath caught.

"Yuzuru-san, about what Shino said earlier—"

"Let's not talk about it," I said quickly.

"Eh?"

"You said she can only get between us if we let her, right? I don't want to let her."

The maid came back with our drinks, and set them in front of us with a couple of plastic spoons. Seryou picked the spoons up, handing me the yellow one. I took it from him slowly. Was it a coincidence? I put the spoon in my drink, mixing the whipped cream into the liquid, then took a sip. Holy crap, it was delicious. I frowned.

"You don't like it?" Seryou asked.

I took another sip, letting the blissful blend of strawberry, chocolate and coffee coat my tongue. "You gave me the yellow spoon."

His brows went up. "Did you want the green one? Here." He held his out for a trade, and I shook my head.

"It's not fair."

Now he was just looking confused. I stirred my drink more. "I never told you my favorite color but somehow you know. I never told you I like strawberry stuff, but you know that too. You know all my friends and everything I like, and I don't know any of that stuff about you. How come?"

I knew I sounded whiny, but couldn't help it. I wasn't as good at this boyfriend stuff as he was. Our first real conversation, he'd said I wasn't observant and he was right. Things went right over my head and I was left feeling self-absorbed and stupid, like everyone else was ten steps ahead of me. I bet Shino knew all his favorite things.

Don't I, my little masochist?

Ugh.

He put his elbows on the table and tilted his head. "What do you want to know? I'll tell you anything."

I thought a minute. "What's your favorite food?"

"Egg rice."

"Really?" That seemed too simple for someone with as much money and culture as he had. Surely he'd gotten to try some of the fanciest, most exotic and expensive dishes in existence, but he picked egg rice as his favorite?

His lips curved up. "Yeah. When I was a kid it was what Umeki-san always made for me when I was sick, or had a bad day. Or at two in the morning when I couldn't sleep. The taste still makes me feel warm and comforted."

"Huh." I took another gulp of my drink. "You had trouble sleeping as a kid?"

"Still do. I've never been able to sleep very well. Too much thinking."

"About what?"

"Mm." I watched his eyes go kind of unfocused, like he was trying to figure out how to answer. "Lots of stuff. It all seems really important as soon as the lights go out, and then in the morning I can't remember half of it. It's usually about people, though. Like, what my family expects of me and whether I'm going to be able to do it. Or things I said that day that might have hurt someone's feelings. Or..." here he glanced over at me and his cheeks went a little pinker, "...whether I'm going to lose the person I have feelings for. That kind of thing."

"I see."

He took a drink from his cup, looking slightly embarrassed.

I had to ask. "Does that mean you're afraid of losing me?" His blush deepened, but he didn't answer. I crossed my arms. "You said you'd tell me anything."

He turned the cup in his hands without looking up. "Sometimes."

"Why?"

"You change your mind a lot." His reply was so soft I had to lean in to hear him. "I don't know if... I mean, it's one of the things I like so much about you, but... it's scary."

I didn't know what to say to that. It's true I had lots of moods and I usually went with them wherever they took me. Wasn't that why he and I were dating right now? But it hadn't occurred to me that it might make him anxious.

"I keep thinking something's going to happen," he said. "Something or someone else is going to come into your life, and you won't be interested in me anymore. Or Shino's going to scare you off. She's really good at that."

After a second he seemed to realize how much he'd been talking, and he coughed. "I can't believe I just told you all that."

"Why do you like me?" I asked abruptly. That was the thing I really couldn't understand. Seryou had to be the most perfect guy on the planet. Rich, beautiful, brilliant with other people's feelings. Sensitive and generous and forgiving to a fault. The idea that he was up at night worrying about losing me was unimaginable. I was nobody.

He fixed me with those startlingly dark eyes. "Are you serious?"

I nodded.

"Yuzuru-san, you... you really don't know how amazing you are, do you?"

Amazing? I was a doofus and everyone knew it. The only thing anyone ever liked about me was my face, and maybe the way I could hold a bow. Otherwise I was pretty much an obnoxious idiot. Koike and Utsumi were the only two people in the world who could put up with me for long, and even they got exasperated after a while. But Seryou put a hand on my knee.

"I've never known anybody like you. You're true to yourself all the time, no matter what anyone else thinks. You're honest and genuine and full of surprises. I never know what you're going to do, or say, but it's always exactly the right thing. You make me feel so—" he broke off and bit his lip like he was saying too much again.

"So...?" I prompted.

He sighed. "Happy."

I made him happy? "But I don't do anything for you."

"Just being you is enough. Being you, and letting me be next to you. It's all I want."

"What about Shino?"

His eyes narrowed. "What about her? I've said Shino doesn't mean anything to me anymore."

"Not that." I felt my neck starting to prickle, but charged ahead anyway. "She's had... you guys have done a lot of stuff that I haven't." I scratched the back of my neck as the prickling intensified. I wanted to ask more. What do you expect from me? Do you want me the same way you wanted her? Will you be mad if I can't do those kinds of things? I wasn't usually squeamish about blurting out whatever was on my mind, but this was entirely new territory for me.

"So this is about what she said today."

"No. I mean kind of, but not because she said it. It's more that..." I have no idea what I'm doing. You say I make you happy now, but can I keep you happy? How could I, when my attempts at getting close to him were so clumsy and hot-headed? The mesh shirt covered his neck, but I could see the band-aid underneath it—a visible reminder of just how inept I was at all of this.

How had we even ended up talking about this, anyway? This wasn't where I meant for the conversation to go. This was awkward and weird and uncomfortable. Back to the original subject, then.

"What's your favorite color?"

He blinked. "Huh?"

"Your favorite color. I want to know it."

He was quiet, looking at me intently. I could see he was debating whether to let me get away with changing the subject, but at last he broke into a grin and leaned back in his chair.

"Guess," he said.

"Can't you just tell me?"

"It's more fun if you guess."

Well, at least he wasn't forcing me to keep talking about all that messy stuff. "Um..." I eyed the spoon in his hand. "Green?"

"Nope."

"Red?"

"Uh-uh."

"Blue?"

He laughed and shook his head, sending that dangly cross earring flying.

"Come on, tell me," I grumbled.

"You'll figure it out," he said confidently, then rose to his feet. "I've really got to change, these boots hurt. And I think I missed helping clear the range like I was supposed to."

"Masamune was there helping Tajiri do it. I'm sure he didn't mind." I stood up too, finishing the last of my drink and dropping the empty cup onto the empty plate.

"Hm. I won't feel too bad about it, then. Tonight's your late night at cram school, isn't it?"

"Yeah." We walked past a trash can and I pushed the plate and cup in. Seryou tossed his cup in after me.

"Then I'm riding the train there with you, since I probably won't get to talk to you the rest of the night. Did you get enough to eat? You should grab something else for dinner since you're not going to get home until late."

"Go change," I said, "and I'll get us some more snacks for the road."

He nodded and headed for the locker room. I noticed his classmate, Nakamura I think it was, trailing behind me with her phone aimed not-so-inconspicuously in my direction. I curled a finger at her.

"Hey, you. Come here."

Her eyes widened and she tucked her phone away fast, shuffling over with an expression that said she was preparing for a scolding.

"That website where you guys are putting all those pictures of Seryou and me," I said.

She hiccuped. "What website, Senpai?"

"I've seen it, so don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about." I held my phone out to her. "I want you to put it on here."

"What?"

"Put it on here." I shook my phone. "I don't know how."

"Oh, but..."

"And do you know how to make a heart?"

"A... heart, Senpai?"

"Yeah. You know, like when you send messages to somebody. My phone sometimes gives me faces and stuff to choose from but I never get one of those heart things. Show me how to do it."

She took my phone with a nervous bow. "Um. Okay. One second."

I crossed my arms and waited while she tapped different things on my phone, trying not to look overly interested in what she was doing. She came to stand next to me and held the phone where I could see it. "Okay, here's the IG account. I bookmarked it for you, so when you want to look at it you tap here, and then here, and then you'll see it listed right there."

I bent over her shoulder and narrowed my eyes. That didn't look too hard.

"Um. Did you want me to send Seryou-kun a message for you? That way I can show you how to use the heart emoji."

"Whatever," I said.

"Well, you bring up a new message like this and put in the person you want to send it to." She typed the first character of Seryou's name and the rest of it popped up in the box. I knew how to do that already. "Then you go down here to type, and click on this little smiley face in the corner." Suddenly a whole bunch of faces popped up on the screen. Like, a million of them, happy and sad and angry and there was one that looked like it was about to barf.

"Whoa," I said, peering closer. "What are all those?"

"They're emoji. You can use any of them you want. But if you swipe like this, you'll get more, see? Not just faces but like food and animals and symbols and stuff."

"Shit," I said, astonished. All that had been in my phone all along? I watched her scroll through rows of tiny pictures until she stopped on a bunch of rainbow colored hearts.

"Here they are. You just tap the one you want," she demonstrated, "and it pops into your message." She cast me a sideways glance. "Want to say anything else along with it?"

"Gimme it," I said, taking the phone back. "I can do it myself."

"Yes, Shino-senpai."

She'd picked a purple heart. That would work. I added a question mark and hit send. "Okay, got it. Thanks."

She bowed. "So, um, you're not mad? About the IG account, I mean."

I shrugged. "I don't care. Just don't follow us around so much, it's annoying. If you want pictures you should ask for them."

Bowing again, she grinned. "Yes, Senpai. Thank you!"

I flicked a hand at her. "Now go away. I've got to get more food before the booths close down."

I strode off, clicking the icons on my phone the way she'd shown me. The website popped up, and there were new photos since last I'd seen it. A lot of new ones. Seryou and me at the train station. Seryou in his tiger outfit, walking arm in arm with me toward the gym. The two of us sitting in the maid café while I was feeding him from my chopsticks. And one that I really liked where both of us were in the dojo. I was stringing up a bow, and he was standing behind me watching with a tiny, gentle smile. Yeah, I liked this one. Maybe Nakamura and her friends didn't always have to ask.

I hit up four booths for more food, all stuff we'd be able to eat while walking to the station since eating on the train wasn't allowed. Just as I was putting the last of it into a big plastic bag, my phone buzzed. It was from Seryou.

Not purple either. ♥

Are you changed? I asked.

Yes. Meet you at the gate.

The sun was already starting to go down when I made it to the school gate, my school bag stuffed with books on one shoulder and the plastic bag of snacks in the other. It wasn't snowing, but there were still patches of slushy stuff all over the sidewalk. Seryou had taken a shower, and his hair still looked damp. I dropped both bags to the ground.

"Are you crazy? You're out here in three degree weather with wet hair?"

He shrugged, a cloud of mist forming under his nose. "The hair dryer in the locker room is broken."

I huffed and rummaged through my school bag until I found the "emergency hat," as my mom called it. It was this chunky black yarn thing she'd knitted for me years ago. I was required to carry it in my bag from October first through March thirty-first every year, no exceptions. Never mind that I don't think I had worn it even once. I pulled it out and batted some cracker crumbs off. There was a smear of something on one side, either jelly or chocolate, I wasn't really sure, but it was still better than nothing.

"Get over here." I stuck the thing on his head, sweeping his wet hair under it. "There. My mom will be glad this thing is finally getting some use." He still had one ear sticking out, so I tugged it on that side until I was sure both ears were evenly covered.

Then I realized he was staring at me. He'd taken all the makeup off, but his eyes were penetrating as ever. His cheeks and the tip of his nose were already bright pink from the cold, and his lips were a little paler than usual, like they'd been frosted by his breath. I recognized the smile, though. It was just like the dojo photo on Nakamura's website.

I swallowed hard. I was still holding the hat over his ears with both hands, and he was moving toward me little by little. His gaze had drifted from my eyes to my mouth, and I could feel the mist from his breath tickling my lips. I was pretty sure he was about to kiss me.

I was pretty sure I was going to let him.

A burst of light fired off from our right, and I turned to see one of the other first years—not Nakamura this time—pointing her camera phone at us. Oh for fuck's sake. I let go of the hat and pulled a couple sticks of yakitori out of the plastic bag, handing one to Seryou. "Here. Let's get going."

We passed the first year with her nosy camera, and I shook my yakitori at her. "Don't you have anything better to do?"

She beamed at me and crossed her wrists over her chest like she was hugging herself. "You guys are the best! Please be in love forever and ever."

I ripped a chunk of meat off the stick with my teeth, taking great satisfaction in chewing it to bits as we made our way down the cement steps.

"That one wasn't my fault," Seryou said from next to me, and I stabbed my half-empty stick in his direction.

"Oh yes it was." I finished chewing and swallowed so I wasn't talking with my mouth full. "One more word and there will be no more snacks for you."

He chuckled, but busied himself with his own food after that. Between the two of us we polished off nearly everything I'd brought before we even reached the train.