WEEK ONE: Thursday (Yuzuru)

The only reason I got out of my house in time to catch the train on Thursday morning was because my little sister came into my room at six forty in the morning and yanked all my bedcovers off to get me out of bed.

The last time I'd felt this terrible was three years ago, when I was preparing for high school entrance exams. Japanese kids were supposed to be studying super-machines, getting by on ambition and two hours of sleep a night, but I really didn't know how everybody else managed it. Two late nights of schoolwork and my whole body hurt. My brain, swimming with the data I'd been stuffing into it, seemed to have temporarily forgotten how to do lower-level things like decipher human speech and balance upright.

Somehow I managed to make it to the train with all the necessary pieces of my uniform on, thanks to Yuriko and the socks she stuffed into my hand when I was about to walk out the door. I fell asleep on the train—while standing up, if you can believe it—until the crowds packing into the car kept prodding me awake with their wayward briefcases and elbows and nauseatingly pungent hair products.

Seryou met me at the station, and while I probably could have recited every step in the Krebs Cycle if he'd asked, for the life of me I couldn't remember the word for "good morning." I could tell he was worried. He must have handed me at least three coffees on the short walk to school, and before I headed up the stairs to my homeroom he shuffled through his bag for painkillers and insisted I take them while he was standing there. I dropped them on the ground twice and he picked them up, patient as a saint, until I finally managed to wash them down with yet another gulp of coffee.

My morning classes went by in a haze, but luckily Utsumi copied the homework assignments into my notebook for me. Seryou showed up at lunch and I don't remember the excuse he made to get me out of there, but I swear I had never been so grateful to see anybody in all my life. He led me back to the roof exit stairwell and I crawled into his lap and blacked out.

The nap was way too short, but waking to his gentle voice in my ear was a million times better than my sister's cold-hearted cover-snatching. I was able to focus a little better for the last two classes of the day, which was a good thing because we ended with a rehearsal of our class's festival dance number, and that took all the energy I had to spare.

Finally school was out at last, and Seryou showed up at my classroom seconds after the bell rang.

"Let me do that," he said, packing my books and pencil case into my bag for me. He lifted the bag onto his shoulder, and Koike tapped his arm.

"What's going on with Shino?" she demanded, tossing her head in my direction. "He's been a zombie the last couple days."

Seryou glanced at me, almost as if he was asking for permission to answer. I really didn't care what he told her.

"He's behind with cram school," Seryou said, "so he's been doing a lot of studying."

"Studying? Wait, Shino knows how to study?" She turned to me with exaggerated shock.

I might have been exhausted, but I was still able to glare. "I'm standing right here, you know."

She stuck her tongue out at me, then eyed Seryou. "And why are you guys hanging out all the time lately? I've seen more of you the last couple weeks than I did when you and I were going out."

"Well, that's..." He looked over nervously, like he was hoping I'd jump in. But I waited to hear his answer. Every time I'd told the truth, no one took it seriously. I wondered if Koike would, if she heard it from him. That is, if she could get him to say it, since he had that whole rule about not discussing his dating life.

"Yuzuru-san is..." His ears were turning red, and Koike was tapping her foot impatiently. He bit his lip, stared down at the floor.

I was gathering up my energy to come to his rescue, since it seemed pretty clear he couldn't do it, when his head came up and he pinned me with this look that I'll never forget as long as I live.

"Yuzuru-san is important to me."

Wow. I was kind of out of it so I couldn't think of a decent response, but... wow. My insides felt like jelly all of a sudden, wobbling and unstable. There was so much intensity in his face, like he was trying to protect me from something I didn't understand. I blinked a couple times and then staggered forward and wrapped him in a hug.

He gave a startled grunt against my shoulder.

"Shino," came Koike's exasperated voice from behind me. When I didn't move, she whacked me in the back of the head. "Shino! For god's sake, you oaf, get off of him."

"No," I said, and squeezed tighter.

I think she may have moved to hit me again because Seryou wriggled an arm free and held it up. "It's all right, Koike-senpai. He's exhausted. I'll get him to the train." He patted my back until I relaxed my hold on him. "Come on, let's go."

I stuck my tongue out at Koike as we left.

We didn't talk much until we reached the school gate. I stopped him, and took my book bag from his shoulder. "I can go on my own from here. You should get to club practice."

"But—" Worry lines crinkled the corners of his eyes.

"Thanks for taking care of me today. Because of you I'm going to make it through my cram class."

"Don't study all night this time, okay?" His dark eyes searched my face. "At this rate you're going to get sick."

I leaned toward him and whispered, "I will definitely be caught up by tomorrow, so don't forget your promise. We're going on a date, no matter what."

"I thought I said 'we'll see.'"

"Close enough," I quipped, and headed across the street toward the cement staircase while waving over my shoulder.

🏹 🏹 🏹

I scribbled the final equation in my math notes, flipped to the answer key in the book to check whether I got it right, and gave a triumphant bark. "Yeah! Finally!"

I'd kind of cheated by doing my Houka homework while I was supposed to be listening to lecture in cram class, but it meant when I got home I only had four assignments to finish instead of seven. It had taken three days, but I was finally caught up again. I picked up my phone and typed a message to the one person I really wanted to brag to.

I'm done! I added the first emoticon my phone suggested, a toothy, grinning happy face, and hit send.

Then I saw the time at the top of the screen. Oh shit. It was just after midnight. Seryou was asleep by now, and if he did get my message it would be because I'd woken him up with it. Great going, Yuzuru. Nothing I could do about it now, though. I stood and stretched, feeling my neck and upper back pop. I was going to get to sleep for nearly six hours. Right now that sounded like sheer heaven.

I switched off my desk lamp, plugged my phone into the charger by my nightstand, and threw the comforter that I was wearing around my shoulders over my bed, diving between the sheets as fast as I could. The apartment was really cold at night, because Mom turned the heat way down to save on the bill. Even though I could tolerate low temperatures pretty well, eventually I always ended up studying wrapped in blankets, with my fingers numb. The sheets were icy too, and I wriggled my legs around to warm them up.

My phone pinged, and I rolled over in surprise. Seryou had messaged me back.

Good work. :)

I stared at the words a minute, feeling guilty, then typed a reply. Did I wake you up?

I laid back against my pillow and held the phone up, waiting. But instead of another pinging message, it started ringing. I cursed and tapped the call button before the noise could wake my mom and sister up. "Hello?"

"I wasn't asleep yet," Seryou said on the other end of the line. The sound of his voice went through me like the opening bars of a favorite song, tingling along my arms.

I rolled onto my side, grinning like an idiot, and cupped the phone to my ear. "That's good. I didn't realize how late it was."

"But you're all caught up now?"

"Yup."

"That's a relief. Tomorrow should be better for you, then."

"I don't know, I'm still really tired. I think you should come get me at lunch so I can nap some more." I was only half-teasing, because sleeping on his lap at lunchtime had been the best part of the last couple days. It would be an easy thing to get used to.

He laughed softly. "I would, but I'm supposed to rehearse for my class dance. I've skipped two days of rehearsals already, I don't think they'll let me get away with much more."

"Oh." He'd been doing that just to take care of me? I was getting that familiar uncomfortable feeling, where I was realizing I'd been selfish without meaning to. Which was stupid, because it's not like I had asked him to help me.

"I can make another excuse, though, if you want—"

"No, don't. You shouldn't do that."

He paused, then said, "I shouldn't?"

"No. I've already told you. I don't like it when people go along with me when they don't want to."

"Oh, but that's not—"

"Just go to rehearsal, it's fine." I sighed. "I'm going to sleep now."

I moved the phone to hang it up, but heard his voice over the speaker.

"Wait, Yuzuru-san..."

I put the phone back to my ear. "What?"

"I... Are you..." he sounded flustered. I couldn't see his face, but after a second I realized he probably thought I was mad at him. Crap. And after he'd been so good to me all week, too. I remembered that look on his face earlier today. Yuzuru-san is important to me. Man, I was really awesome at making a mess of things, wasn't I?

"Hey," I said, and made sure my tone was warmer. "You're going out with me tomorrow after cram school, right?"

"Y— Yeah?" It was more like a question, as if he needed me to confirm it.

"Good. We haven't been able to spend time together properly all week. You're important to me, too, you know."

He made some stammering noises. "Yuzuru-san—"

"Good night, Seryou. Sleep well." I hung up the phone and stared at the screen until it turned itself off. My room seemed really quiet now that the call was over, and in my sleep-deprived state the silence, the dark, and the cold felt oddly lonely. Was it weird to be missing him? I'd just talked to him, and would be seeing him again tomorrow. Still, my heart felt sort of sad that he wasn't here.

I set the phone down on the nightstand and curled up in bed, closing my eyes. Sleep. I needed to sleep, before I completely lost my mind.