Chapter Fourteen: Only Human

Alex sighed to herself happily as the TARDIS' engines quietened, the ship landing with a jolt. This moment, this shining moment full of excitement and anticipation, was one of the things she loved most about travelling with the Doctor. She was about to step out onto a completely different world, one untouched by industry and colonialism. A young, beautiful, pure world.

The first few weeks, she'd thought she'd get used to it, that it would stop being so wonderful. But then, every time they landed somewhere new, she saw that same exhilarated grin on the Doctor's face, the same delight in those blue eyes, and he was over nine hundred years old. Perhaps it was one of those feelings that never went away. She felt so lucky that she got to experience it too. If this was how it would feel, then she'd never stop running. She'd travel the stars forever.

The Doctor joined her at the doors and, after a shared glance full of enthusiasm, they pushed the doors open, stepping out onto a huge dusty plain. An icy wind bit into Alex's skin, making her grateful she'd remembered to pick up her denim jacket. The air was fresh and clean, the cleanest she'd ever breathed, and it almost made her forget she was cold.

While the Doctor locked the doors, she took the chance to look at their surroundings. About half a mile away there was a thick, green forest, all dark and tangled and fringed with wild grass. There were solitary trees too, casting long shadows across the hard ground. Something, some urge deep inside her, made her want to just run and run, just to feel the wind rushing through her hair.

"Could this be any more beautiful?" she breathed, eyes wide.

"That's proper fresh Earth air, that," the Doctor agreed, taking a full, deep breath.

"And this is Bromley?"

"Well, they probably don't call it that yet," he pointed out. "Better warn you, there'll be a lot of wildlife. Wild wildlife."

She glanced across at him as they started off towards the forest. "What, like wolves?"

"Yeah." He grinned. "Plus bears, and wild dogs, and mammoths, and rabbits." Alex snorted at that. "Das said there was a particular strange tree."

"Hmm." Alex raised an eyebrow, eyeing the forest. "Only about 40,000 to check, then." She shivered as they entered the woods, pulling her jacket close around her. The Doctor didn't look at all bothered by the wind, strolling along in his leather jacket like normal. "Aren't you cold?"

"Nah." He shook his head, then put his arm around her to warm her up. "And there'll be humans," he continued. "The Neanderthals like the forests, so they'll be over there. Beckenham, Penge way. But your lot, you roam about everywhere. You like big empty spaces 'cause you're from Africa, the savannah. You jumped down when the trees there died out. Then a whopping great volcano went off, covered the planet in ash. Just a thousand of you left then, you could have just given up, but you set off and you conquered the place."

"Oh right, so we're not completely useless and evil then?" Alex raised her eyebrows, grinning fondly.

"Not completely." He shrugged. "Though you've got a thing about tree-felling."

She shook her head, looking around the forest in awe. "Can I just say, I really really like this place."

"'Course you do," he said. "You're adapted for it. This is where you belong, not sat on your behind scoffing Pringles and watching Loose Women." He poked his tongue out at her.

"With the heater on," she added, another shiver running down her spine.

He smiled, rubbing her arm. "Yeah. Why d'you think you invented clothes in the first place?"

"I don't see a GAP anywhere," she joked. "What kind of clothes are we talking?"

"Skins," he replied. "Byproduct of a heavy red meat diet."

She snorted. "What, so everyone in the Stone Age was on the Atkins?"

He laughed too. "No choice. Mammoth for breakfast, mammoth for dinner, and mammoth for tea."

"Right, so why's that guy wearing jeans and eating a baguette?" she asked, pointing at a young man sitting on a fallen tree. He turned his face slightly, and she couldn't help but gasp slightly when the light hit him properly. "He is gorgeous."

The Doctor raised an eyebrow. "Watch it, you." She poked her tongue out at him, and he couldn't help but smile. "Time traveller, gotcha. Oi!" He began to move faster, striding towards the handsome young man. "I want a word with you!"

The man looked up, saw them, and blinked. Then, before they could do anything to stop him, he ran off, faster than Alex had thought possible. They sprinted after him, but in minutes his denim-clad figure had disappeared among the trees.

"See," the Doctor sighed, stopping. "Open spaces, fast runners."

Alex leaned against a tree, panting. "That was insane!" she managed. "Who's he, Usain bloody Bolt?"

He grinned. "Come on. We know where he was heading, so let's follow."

***

Since it was keeping her warm, they'd decided to run, which turned out to be a mistake when they stumbled into the carcass of a massive creature. Sunlight streamed through the forest canopy, making the blood glisten on Alex's bare legs. She put a hand to her mouth, gagging.

"Oh my God," she managed, trying not to think about it as the Doctor helped her out of the beast's gaping stomach. "Is this someone's lunch?"

"Yeah, must have wandered off from the herd," he said, seeming almost entirely unbothered by the situation.

"Who killed it, then?" She whistled at the size of it. "I mean, that's huge."

"No spearheads," he pointed out, eyeing the torn flesh. "These are teeth marks."

"So it was another animal." She looked around nervously. "It's still warm, though, so shouldn't we get going?"

The Doctor turned to her. "Hold on. Say 'aah'."

She blinked. "What? Why?"

He rolled his eyes. "Say 'aah'."

"Aah." She raised her eyebrows as he looked from her teeth, to the marks on the mammoth, to her teeth again. His brow furrowed, so she closed her mouth. "What's wrong?"

"Whatever brought her down couldn't have been human," he told her, eyeing the carcass doubtfully. "Or Neanderthal. She must have been attacked by a predator."

"But the teeth marks are human," Alex guessed, frowning herself now. "And how's a human gonna kill a mammoth single-handedly?"

"How's a human gonna eat a whole mammoth single-handedly," he pointed out. "I mean, I know you've got an appetite the size of Mars, but..." He trailed off as something rustled in the bushes to their right. That same something growled in the undergrowth, its snarl pricking up the hair on the back of Alex's neck. The Doctor froze. "Whatever it was, it's still here."

Alex swallowed, trying not to move. "Oh God."

Beside her, the Doctor had stilled completely. "Get ready to run," he told her in the same soothing voice he'd used on the TARDIS earlier. It was now very welcome. "You're going left."

"And which way are you going?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper. Her muscles screamed with tension as another low noise came from the bushes.

"Don't worry," he said, squeezing her hand. "I wrestled a tiger once."

She sighed shakily, knowing he was making light of the situation to soothe her. "Who won?"

"You just have to rub its tummy," he said conversationally. "Then it thinks you're its mum and curls up into a playful little ball." His thumb was brushing over the back of her hand softly, but his words didn't reassure her.

Another low growl came from the shrubbery, much closer than before. Alex fought the urge to whimper. "That's not a tiger."

"I know," he replied bravely. "Now, on the count of three. One, two... two and a half..."

She shook her head resolutely, gripping his hand tighter. "I'm not leaving you."

He turned to look at her, smiling that crooked smile she'd become so fond of in the last year. "You are. Go, now."

After a moment's hesitation, she nodded reluctantly. She took a deep breath, already tensed to run and—

The world exploded with noise. When she remembered how to breathe again, her hands were clamped around her ears, trying desperately to block out the sheer volume of the sound. She barely registered the footsteps speeding past her as the creature sprinted away.

She could feel the Doctor's hands on her upper arms, turning her slightly, and she opened her eyes to see two wildly attractive young men carrying speakers. Both of them wore name badges—Jacob and Tom.

The second man, Tom, clicked off his speaker and yelled over the other one. "It scares the animals away. They don't like the noise."

"We're not exactly loving it either!" the Doctor shouted pointedly, gesturing to his companion. Jacob switched off his speaker, and Alex sighed in relief as quiet returned to the clearing. She could still hear the echo of the noise ringing in her ears, and she was pretty sure she was going to have tinnitus for the rest of her life, but at least she could hear now.

"I'm sorry," Jacob said, but his face betrayed no emotion as he and Tom strolled closer. Neither of them looked like they'd ever experienced a single emotion in their lives.

"Well, ta," the Doctor said, narrowing his eyes at them. They stared at him blankly. "Thanks," he elaborated stiffly.

"You need to take care out there," Jacob said. "Haven't you got a stinger?" He gestured to the speaker he had slung around him on a loose strap.

"Never been issued with one," the Doctor made up, sharing a glance with Alex. "Er, I'm the Doctor. This is Alex Tyler." He shook both men's hands.

"Hello," Tom said, smiling politely but emptily. "I'm Tom, and this is Jacob."

There was a long, awkward pause.

"Well," Alex said, mostly just to fill the silence. "That's nice."

"Have you come to take us home?" Jacob asked, started to lead them through the woods. The Doctor and Alex followed, shrugging.

"'Cause we were getting slightly..." Tom trailed off. "Oh, what's the word?"

"Worried?" Alex guessed. She made eye contact, but it was weird, like making eyes at a dummy. There was just nothing there.

"That's it," he agreed. "Worried. About the delay."

"Er, gents," the Doctor interrupted, frowning. "That animal, what was it?"

"An animal," Jacob replied. Alex blinked.

"One of the dangerous animals," Tom added. "We scare them off with stingers."

"Yeah, but what kind of dangerous animal was it?" the Doctor asked.

Tom shrugged. "A dangerous one." He glanced at Alex. "You looked a bit strange back there. Afraid."

She stared at him, eyes wide. Was he really suggesting that was weird? "Um... yeah," she agreed. "Just a bit."

"If you feel afraid again, all you need is combo 410/15," Jacob told her.

"Oh," she said, more confused than ever. "Thanks."

"We're heading for base, then?" the Doctor guessed, sharing a look with her.

"Yeah, this way," Tom said, holding back a fern. "Mind how you go."

Alex and the Doctor dropped back for a moment, keeping the two men within sight. "Okay, what's wrong with them?" she asked. "Are they robots, or aliens, or what?"

***

"Here we are," Jacob said a little while later, knocking on the trunk of a tall old oak tree. Part of the bark swung open on a hinge and they walked through.

"This is like Scooby Doo," Alex frowned. "Where's all the tech?"

"Dunno," the Doctor replied, looking at the tree curiously. "But that's Das' strange tree. Strange and creaky."

They followed Tom and Jacob into what looked like a lift. As Tom pressed a button on the wall, Alex glanced up at the Doctor, who was thinking hard. The product was that he was unusually quiet as the lift descended, although he did put his arm around Alex when she shivered.

"Your mouth's very big," Jacob said after a moment, looking at her.

She blinked. "I... don't know what to say to that."

"Where did you get it?" he asked.

"Er..." She glanced across at the Doctor, who was smirking.

"Same place I got my ears," he joked.

"Hmm, they're pretty huge as well," Jacob nodded. "Were they a mistake?"

"You should sue, getting those," Tom told them blankly. "My sister Val threatened to sue Face Plus when she got one blue eye, one brown eye. They told her it didn't matter, it was going to be quite fashionable, and she should just take combo 553/22 and get used to them, but she stood her ground and in the end they gave her a refund and three new eyes."

"You can always do with a spare," Jacob said. Alex shook her head, realising this was going to be another one of those conversations that would never make sense.

Before she could even attempt to form a coherent reply, the lift clunked into place The doors rattled open, and they stepped outside to find themselves on a metal platform in a huge cavern, at least a mile wide. Six massive floodlights were positioned at equidistant points around the ceiling, shining down light upon a wooden city. The buildings were an architectural mish-mash—tiny log cabins right next to towering apartment blocks. A staircase led down from their metal platform to the main street through the city. A banner read 'OSTERBERG: RESEARCH DELIVERING VALUE'.

"We'll take you to Chantal," Jacob stated as he and Tom set off down the steps. The Doctor and Alex followed at a slight distance so they could talk.

"What's with all the wood?" Alex asked, eyeing the houses curiously.

The Doctor shrugged. "Dunno. Let's just hope no one invents fire."

She grinned. "Normally about now, you're filling me in on everything. You know, throwing your arms about going 'Well, this is the seventh dimension of Kraal. Fantastic!' or whatever."

"Yeah, that's what I normally do," he agreed. "But this time, you see, I've got no idea."

"Makes a nice change, you not knowing everything," she teased, nudging him.

He raised his eyebrows. "Alex, human history stretches over five billion years, I just don't know this bit. I've got a blind spot for May 1982, but that can't be it." He wrinkled his nose. "I tell you one thing, forget what Jack said. They're not from the forty-sixth century."

"How'd you know that, then?" she asked.

"No prongs or pods about, for a start, plus everyone's got hair," he said. "And both legs."

She blinked. "Okay, so what's our plan? Pretend to be like them?" She pulled a blank face.

He nodded. "We find out what's going on before we do anything too drastic. Nice people, I don't like 'em. They can turn nasty."

"They're creepy," Alex admitted. "It's like they're not even curious about us."

"Exactly. And yeah, I've got no idea why. Tell you what..." He smiled, taking her hand. "We can work it out together for a change."

***

Jacob and Tom led them into a narrow alleyway made by two steeply sloping roofs. A strange man barged past them, muttering darkly to himself. He was wearing a weird combination of mismatched clothes, and he totally lacked the impassive beauty of the other Osterbergers. Tom and Jacob just laughed at him as he passed.

A few minutes later, they'd made it into a large office where several people typed away at desks around the room. The strange man had beat them there, and was standing in front of the central desk, behind which sat a woman so unbelievably beautiful that Alex literally gasped when she saw her.

The Doctor's head was not so easily turned. Though he could tell the woman's face was almost perfectly symmetrical, he saw more beauty in the faces of his companions: not necessarily perfect, but caring and brave. There was none of that here. He was more interested in the woman's name tag, which read Chantal. At close quarters, he could see a small numeric keypad under the name.

Chantal looked up, as if noticing the man before her for the first time. She smiled politely. "Oh, hello, Quilley. Pleased to see you." Her voice was faintly accented and sort of sing-songy, like an overenthusiastic sales representative.

"No, you aren't," Quilley sneered.

Chantal keyed in a code on her name tag, and a radiant smile spread across her face. "Well, I am now. What can I do for you?"

"It's day forty-nine, Chantal," Quilley said irritably.

"Yes," she agreed. "And quite a nice day so far. Will you be joining us for drinks later?" She raised her voice, addressing all the workers. "We'll be bringing out the peach schnapps this afternoon!"

The Osterbergers all cheered and whistled, except for Quilley, whose face had twisted in anger. "The experiment was only meant to last forty days! Yes, it is day forty-nine, so may I suggest you forget the peach schnapps and try to find out why the hell we are still here?!"

Chantal didn't bat an eyelid at his outburst. "The Osterberg Experiment has just been extended, as I told anyone."

"But why has it been extended?" Quilley demanded, clutching the desk so tightly his knuckles turned white.

"Don't worry about it," Chantal suggested blithely. "It'll sort itself out in a bit. Now, haven't you got some work to be getting on with? I know I have."

Quilley bristled. "I can't stop worrying!"

"Oh yes, you can," Chantal told him helpfully. "All you need is a combo in the 662 range."

"I can live without that!" Quilley raged. "I can live without your smugness! I can live without your drivel, and I want to know why we're still here!" He leapt forwards, grabbing the nearest desk, and tipped it over. Alex flinched. In her experience, when people were violent towards the objects around them, they were only a very short fuse away from being violent towards you.

The other workers didn't seem to mind, though, and the man the desk belonged to just set it upright again, replaced his typewriter, and continued his work. Quilley roared, tipping it over again. The man the desk belonged to just set it upright again, replaced his typewriter, and continued his work.

The Doctor saw Quilley's nostrils flaring and stepped forwards before the desk could be flipped again. "Er, can I make a suggestion? Chill."

Quilley stared at the Doctor, for a moment, then turned his attention to Alex, who was mostly just glad he wasn't shouting anymore. "Who are they?" he asked, turning to Chantal.

She shrugged. "Search me, duck. I guess they must have been sent back by the Committee. Late arrivals."

"Dressed like that?" Quilley snorted, looking Alex up and down. "Her clothes... where did she get them?"

"Why not ask her?" Alex said pointedly, narrowing her eyes. "She's got a name, you know."

"We both have, sort of," the Doctor said. "That's Alex Tyler, and I'm the Doctor. You're right, we're late arrivals." He smiled politely.

"Very late," Quilley mused, scowling at them.

Chantal rolled her eyes. "Don't let him give you wrong-feeling—it's only what he wants." She stood up, revealing all six feet of her lithe body. Alex sighed a little, blushing when the Doctor glanced at her. "Hello. I'm Chantal, and welcome to Osterberg! Our mission plan is to deliver value by researching human history in a vibrant world-class environment."

"That's nice," the Doctor said, after a lengthy pause.

"Yes, it is," Chantal beamed.

Alex blinked. Pretty though she was, it was hard to get past that call-centre personality. Also, Quilley was staring at her. A lot. "Er... sorry, would you mind not staring at me?"

"This is T.P. Quilley, senior zoo-tech," Chantal introduced. "Better tell you straight, in case you hadn't noticed, and I'm pretty sure you will have, he's a Refuser."

"Is he now?" The Doctor raised his eyebrows, as if it all made sense. "Well, Alex here, she's my, er..."

"Boss," Alex cut in, before anyone could suggest anything blush-worthy.

"My boss," the Doctor agreed. "And she was just saying on the way down your lovely steps how she needed to speak to your senior zoo-tech and go over your research."

"Yeah, I was saying that," Alex said, going with it. "I really want to know what animal we met out there. Mr Quilley, could you show me your work?"

"Certainly," he said grumpily. "Come on then." He stomped off, and after squeezing the Doctor's hand quickly, Alex followed.

***

After a long walk across the city, Quilley showed her into a small wooden shack. He hadn't said a word to her for the entire journey, but he kept looking over his shoulder at her, then tutting and shaking his head. It was starting to get irritating, but since he had a personality and wasn't so pretty she forgot to breathe, she forgave him.

The living room was full of stuff, old stuff like a sofa with rips in, a creaky old table scattered with books and jars and CDs. There was a computer on the table, but to Alex's surprise, it was your basic twenty-first century PC, not the futuristic gizmo she would have expected from a time traveller. There was even a washing machine in the corner.

"Now, young lady," Quilley began, shutting the door behind her.

Alex smiled nervously. "I'm just gonna throw this out there now, if you're going to try and cop a feel, I'm going to punch your lights out," she said, in a friendly-ish tone.

Quilley scoffed. "I haven't copped a feel of anything for a very long time, more's the pity." He took a seat, watching her carefully. "Now, we were supposed to be taken back home nine days ago. And I don't relish the prospect of remaining here in this howling wilderness for very much longer."

"Look, I'm sorry, but I don't know anything about that," Alex told him. "Me and the Doctor, we're just here to join in with your research. Sent by the Committee."

Quilley looked disappointed, but didn't press it. "So, you're a zoo-tech like me?" His eyes were on her legs and jacket, which were still stained with blood. Alex was honestly surprised nobody else had questioned it, but that seemed to be the way of things around here.

"Yeah, I'm a zoo-tech," she lied. "Love a zoo. Listen, d'you mind if I put this in your wash?" She shrugged her jacket off, revealing her tank-top and shorts.

There was a pause. "Go ahead."

She smiled, bundling her coat into the machine. "So, what kind of animals do you get round here, then?"

"You say you were sent here," Quilley interrupted. "Didn't the Committee tell you why the project's been extended?"

Alex winced. "Uh... sorry, I'm bursting."

Quilley blinked. "What?"

"I need the loo," she said, realising as she spoke that she actually did. "Is it through there?" She pointed to a door on the other side of the room.

"You need the what?"

"The loo," she repeated. "The toilet?"

Quilley narrowed his eyes, cornering her. "You weren't sent by the Committee. Who are you?!"

Her eyes widened. "I only wanna use your loo!"

"My dear girl, in the time I come from, nobody's been to 'the loo' for 1,000 years," Quilley shouted, making her wince. "So what time do you come from?!"

~~~