Hunting in the Woods

A red flash in the middle of the woods, and a drone and human come tumbling out of it.

"Gah! Son of a bitch!" Max cries out as he rolls in the snow before jumping back up onto his feet. He scans his surroundings, only finding a huge expanse of trees densely clustered together and snow everywhere. "We're outside?" He then glances at Doll, the drone shaking her head dizzy just for Max to grab her and lift her up off her feet like she's some stray cat.

"Alright start talking, where are we?!" Max interrogates with bared teeth and a balled fist. Doll is unimpressed though, rolling her digital eyes.

"I don't know. I just needed to escape, and you grabbing me only made it harder to focus on my destination. We shouldn't be too far from the colony, maybe a hundred miles away."

"A hundred miles!?" Max yells out in shock.

"No need for yelling, I'm right here. And I'm only guessing. I've never traveled with a passenger before." Doll chastises, just to yelp as Max drops her onto the snow.

"Take us back!" Max demanded angrily before coughing into his shoulder, aggravated by the sudden fit.

"I can't, and I won't. I have a mission to accomplish, and I can't get it done with those Murder Drones in my way. I have to find a cure or Uzi and I will meet a terrible fate..."

"WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN!?" Max roars out angrily, startling Doll a bit as the human gets into another violent coughing fit before he glares at her. "I've been dealing with too much cryptic bullshit! Give me answers now, or I swear to god I'll end you here and now SOLVER!" Max pauses, grasping his throat, wondering how his voice changed like that.

"What did you call me?" Doll asks with wide eyes, her hands up defensively.

"I-I didn't. I mean I heard of the Absolute Solver, that symbol you and Uzi make, and then there was that symbol in the...evacuation zone." Max goes silent, his memory flashing to when he first found that symbol, and the intense rage and horrible coughing fit he had, like something was crawling in his lungs and throat and was pulling itself out.

"...I don't know what you are, human or something else entirely, but I won't let you stop me." Doll glares at Max, the human's eyes widening before he shakes his head.

"No! I'm not trying to stop you I just need-" Before Max can finish, Doll vanishes with her holographic teleport. "-answers... WHAT THE HEEEEEEELLLL?!?!" Max roars out into the night sky.

———

"Stupid snow, stupid Doll, stupid cryptic secrets!" Max growls out as he stomps through the snowy forest, trying to find any signs of the worker drone colony or the corpse spire that could lead him to the Murder Drone's ship! Unfortunately Max could find neither, in fact for all he knows he could be walking in the wrong direction!

This left him with the worst company possible when all alone, your own intrusive thoughts.

"I just don't get it. Why avoid me all that time? I thought we were becoming friends...hell, I met her first but it feels like she's better friends with the goddamn Murder Drone instead of me! No, no, that's not fair, N is a good person! I shouldn't think of him like that...but you would think someone so nice would be more HONEST!" Max grits his teeth angrily, getting more and more frustrated as he trudges through the seemingly endless maze of trees and snow.

"He keeps secrets from me too yet insists on trying to help learn what V and J are hiding. And those two are EVEN WORSE! They just won't fucking talk! Why is it so much easier to happily partake in genocide, THEN JUST FUCKING COMMUNICATE!?" Max's head was aching at this point, his throat becoming hoarse, but he couldn't stop. "HOW HARD IS IT TO GET SOME GOD FORSAKEN ANSWERS?!"

"Maybe, they were forsaken for a reason."

Max immediately pauses, his eyes scanning the area for whoever said that.

"...hello? Who's there?" Max yells out toward the forest, his body tense, unsure whether he'll need to run or fight.

"No need to yell, I'm right here." Max hears the voice again, his throat feeling like it's closing shut. Max collapses onto his knees and starts violently coughing, the human wheezing and gasping for air before promptly passing out.

———

Max's eyes open wide to a bright blue sky, something he thought he'd never see again. He slowly climbs up off the ground, only to notice the ground is incredibly soft, fluffy even. He looked down to see it wasn't any regular floor or earth at all, but clouds! Max runs his fingers through the strangely wispy yet also firm puffs under his feet.

"Am I...in heaven?"

"No, it is simply what I felt would make a comfortable setting where we can chat uninterrupted." Max scrambles to his feet, looking at the source of the familiar yet calmer sounding voice. He doesn't see a person, not even a drone. Instead he sees a black cloak, draped onto a leathery armchair.

"Down here." The voice speaks again, Max looking lower to see a lone skull on the seat. It was completely fake looking, more like a cheap Halloween decoration than an actual skull.

"Uh...hi?" Max waves his hand, feeling very confused. "I'm...I'm Max."

"Oh I know who you are Max. I've known you for a long time." The skull speaks. The voice was unmistakably coming from it, but its jaw didn't move in the slightest.

"...uh huh, well then. I introduced myself, who are you?"

"Oh? Is it not obvious?" The skull asks curiously, Max looking at it and the black robe.

"I mean, the clues point to the Grim Reaper, but that wouldn't make sense. I'm not dead...right?" Max asks with a nervous chuckle, only for the skull to answer in a solemn voice.

"I'm sorry Max...but you've been dead for a long time now."

The silence is deafening, neither of them speak up for a very long minute until Max inevitably breaks the silence.

"But, that can't be right. With the drones I've felt so many things! I've been breathing, my heart is beating, I can feel the cold air whipping at my face and the snow crunching under my boots!"

"Everything you felt has been nothing more than your mind tricking you into thinking you can feel those sensations. The mind is a powerful thing, so powerful that it can even make itself believe that nothing is wrong at all, when so many things are completely wrong. Heh, you haven't even noticed the Doll drone is speaking Russian, and that you understood every word she said."

"...yeah wait a minute how did you-"

"It's simple really...death is beyond any language barrier." Max blanches at that answer before shaking his head, the memories of every little thing running through his head. The empty oxygen tanks, the time he passed out after seeing the solver symbol, the fact that he hasn't needed to eat or drink at all since waking up from cryosleep!

"No...no no, that can't be right! I survived the cryosleep! Uzi found me perfectly fine!"

"But you weren't, Maxwell." The skull corrects, sounding quite sad in having to reveal this terrible fact. "You died long ago in the cryopod. It was incomplete, you died suffocating in your sleep. The only reason you can walk, talk, and believe you're alive now is because of me."

"...why? What do you want with me?" Max asks, his voice on the verge of breaking down.

"You were the only body in good condition. The cryopod may have failed in saving your life, but it kept your body perfectly fresh. Not a single bit of your flesh rotted, nor did any of your bones crumble to dust. It was no issue restarting your brain and using your body as my host."

"...is that all I've been this entire time? Just a puppet for you to use?!" Max growls out, his despair turning into anger as he realizes just how his body was used without his say so.

"You're more than a puppet Maxwell, you are my champion, the Champion of Death. I need you to correct a horrible mistake."

"I don't want any part of this! You can't just tell me I've been dead this whole time, give me some flashy title and think things are gonna go your way! I AM NOT YOUR TOY!" Max yells out before grabbing the skull and tossing it as far as he can, sending it flying into the endless horizon. For a while everything is quiet except for the angry panting from Maxwell.

"...oh, but you don't understand." Max turns to the chair, slowly the black robe starts growing in length, the bottom of the robe pooling around the cloudy floor, slowly the white puffs corroding and becoming black like tar. The bright blue sky fading into bloody crimson.

" You don't have a choice in the matter."

"Like hell I don't!" Max was absolutely terrified, but more than that he was furious, his teeth grinding together, his fists clenched so tightly that his nails were digging into his palms and drawing blood. "No matter what you do to me, I'll keep on fighting! And if I fail, I know I can trust the drones to stop you!"

"You mean, the drones so terrified of me that they wanted nothing more than to stay away from you?" The voice reveals as the robe slowly begins to stand up. By now the tar black clouds have grown past where Max is standing and the entire ground is nothing more than a black void that Max feels like he could fall into at any second.

"What do you mea-?" Max is interrupted by a sudden flash of images in his head, new memories flooding in as it all starts making sense. "That night...the night before they started looking at me so strangely...what did you do to me?" Max asks horrified, collapsing onto his knees.

"I told you, I made you my champion." The voice reiterates, the cloak moving towards Max in an inhuman manner. No signs of walking whatsoever, it was more like he was floating, gliding across the floor. One sleeve of the robe rose, slowly revealing a white skeletal hand reaching for Maxwell. "We must correct the mistake. The Absolute Solver must pay for what it has done."

"W-what did it do? It's just a program, WHAT DID IT DO TO MAKE YOU CHOOSE TO DO THIS!?" Max screams in a mix of terror and fury, the black robe pausing with its skeletal hand just within reach of grabbing Max.

"...the solver...destroyed...my perfect feast..." Max was confused by those words, just to gasp as the skeletal hand grasps his shoulder, Max's skin becoming paler as blood seems to rush out of his body and completely paint the skeletal hand crimson. The black robe leans in close, the hood falling backwards to reveal not a skull like he expected, but the face of death itself. Life is sucked out of Max's body just from witnessing it as the human teeters on the edge of consciousness. "And...I am..."

S T A R V I N G

———

The 'final girl' drone Emily is breathing heavily as she dashes through the snowy forest. What was supposed to be a fun camping trip is now a completely valid reason why she bought that 'final girl' survival guide book in the first place! She can hear the unpopular girl giggling and cackling as she swoops through the trees, getting closer and closer! Emily tries to run faster, but ends up tripping over a tree root hidden in the snow and falling onto her face.

"Oh robo-god! What did the book say about times like these? 'When in a hopeless situation, pray for a deus ex machina'? Oh I could really use whatever that is right now!" Emily holds her hands over her head and shuts her eyes tight, hoping that at the very least her death is a quick one!

Uzi menacingly giggles, hanging from a tree branch before pouncing forward toward the delicious looking drone on the ground...

"OOF!" Only to be interrupted as something tackles her out of the air.

Emily slowly opens one digital eye, cautiously looking around and seeing no sign of monsters. "...'Always remember not to breathe a sigh of relief, because the second you do you're dead!'" Emily quotes from the book, still on guard but at least takes the opportunity to run away from the area.

Uzi grunts as she's shoved against the base of a tree with a hand around her throat. She growls and hisses like some wild animal before she gets her bearings and looks at who dared to stop her. The solver symbol on her visor shifts to wide eyes as she sees the one pinning her to the tree. "M-Max?" She recognized the human body anywhere. Unfortunately, the human chuckles in a dark voice and slowly raises his head.

"My apologies," The voice mockingly speaks before revealing the unnaturally warped head, pitch black eyes, and razor sharp teeth, showing the human wasn't in control. "But this isn't his body anymore." The beast grins viciously before slamming her against the tree trunk again and again until he finally smashes her body through the tree itself!

Uzi pants softly as she picks herself up off the ground. "N-no, give him back..." Uzi gasps out, just for her visor to switch back to the solver symbol. She hisses at the being using Max's body before opening up her wings and taking to the sky.

"GET BACK HERE SOLVER!" The monster demanded furiously as he slammed his fist through a nearby tree, the wood cracking with ease under his strength and falling over with a deafening thud.

"SOLVEEEERRRR!!!" He roars into the night sky, his pitch black gaze locked onto the flying robot that was Uzi. "YOU CAN'T ESCAPE ME! I'LL CHASE YOU TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH!"

Uzi rapidly flaps her wings, her mental state a mess as she flips back and forth from the fear and terror of her new body and the strange creature in Max hunting her, to the insatiable manic bloodlust this new form of hers refuses to give up on!

In her panic while flying though, she ends up colliding with another flying drone! The two tumble out of the sky and collapse into the snow.

"AH! Okay, who's the idiot flying with their eyes closed?!" The drone is revealed to be a pissed off J, her entire body having recovered and was even wearing a camp counselor outfit. She shakes off some snow covering her visor and narrows her eyes at the one who tackled her, just for them to widen at the sight of Uzi's new winged Murder Drone like body.

"P-please, help. W-Where's N?" Uzi asks desperately as she tries to fight through the intense pain. J is completely horrified, shutting her eyes tight as she shifts her arm into a machine gun and takes aim.

"I...I know Max wouldn't want this, but I can't let you take anymore away from me..." J seemed hesitant in her actions, but still keeps her firearm aimed at Uzi.

"W-wait-" Uzi pleads only to be interrupted by another voice.

"What are you waiting for?!" V swoops down, standing next to J with her arms shifted into swords, ready to step in for the kill. "Ugh, new body, same horrors. Huh, Cyn?"

"I...don't know who that is. Can I...talk to N?" Uzi winces in pain as she struggles to remain in control. J can't help but lower her arm a little, feeling disgusted at her new hesitation.

"I'll make sure you can't." Figuring J was taking far too long to get the job done, V steps forward ready to drive her blade into Uzi.

"NO!" A guttural roar rings out as the humanoid beast pounces from a tree, gnarled claws swiping forward just for V to safely dodge out of the way at the last second. V and J look in shock to see a second monster roaming these woods. The fleshy monster snarls angrily at the Murder Drones.

"The Solver is MINE to kill!" He cackles maniacally, knees bent and claws at the ready for the fight to the death about to take place...only for Max's head to twitch and crack grossly before the disfigured human stands casually.

"Wait a minute J? Okay first of all, congrats on getting your whole body back. Second of all, what the actual fuck are you wearing?"

"Max?" J asks in a mix of relief and confusion, before settling on embarrassment and anger as she places her hands on her hips. "I-it's a camp counselor uniform! It was N's stupid idea so we could let Uzi investigate some cabin in the woods!"

"Hey hey I'm not saying it looks bad, it's really cute on you both actually. Wait N is wearing one too? Oh this I gotta see!" Max chuckles, looking so odd smiling genuinely with his pitch black eyes and sharp teeth. However the moment didn't last long as he twitches and his neck audibly snaps before he goes back into his battle stance.

"AGH! Why do human bodies have to be so stubbornly hard to control? Ugh, these echoes of his soul should disappear soon enough..."

"Alright, what the hell are you supposed to be? And what do you want with Cyn?" V questions with a glare switching focus between the still struggling Uzi and the creature using Max's body like a puppet.

"Well, I figure the mood is right for a monologue." He chuckles darkly. "You see, as much as it disgusts me to say this, the Absolute Solver and I are...cut from the same cloth might be the best way to put it." J and V's eyes widen at this revelation, taking a step back nervously.

"While she's relatively young, ambitious, and loves to fiddle with the lives of drones, I'm far older than her. I have existed since the beginning of all sentient life, but my interests lay mostly with humanity. Their deaths to be precise. I am the one who led their souls through the great beyond after their mortal bodies expired. All I asked for in return was a tiny morsel from their souls to feed me before they went on their way."

"It was an eternal banquet, an endless buffet of billions of souls to enjoy everyday. For every million humans that die, millions more are born. Once they spread through the galaxy, my never ending feasts became far larger and grander! That is...until the Solver made one...fatal...mistake." The beast growls ferociously. "SHE TOOK IT ALL AWAY FROM MEEEEEE!"

He roars out, the entire forest shaking and shuddering from the primal rage filled howl. "Humanity is gone! And with it, my meals have vanished! I am wasting away more and more with every damnable second! But I will not go out quietly. I WILL STOP AT NOTHING TO KILL THE SOLVER, AND ANYONE WHO DARES TO GET IN MY WAY!" He snarls before laughing sadistically.

"You want to know who I am? I am, in every literal sense of the word, Death itself." The reaper cackles insanely as he reveals himself to the world.

"...yeah nope." J mutters before lifting her arm and immediately spraying a barrage of bullets at Death, each bullet piercing his human flesh, but getting no reaction other than a vicious grin from him even as murky blood drips from the new wounds.

Death dashes into the hail of bullets before grasping J's arm and immediately crushing and warping the metal with his harder than iron grip. He then swings J in a circle before tossing the Murder Drone at V, the two colliding and skidding along the snow before crashing into the base of a tree.

Death looks at Uzi, just to see her body missing from where he last saw her. Out of the corner of his eye, a mouthed tail darts forward and clamps its teeth around Death's shoulder. A cackling Solver Uzi uses her powers to grab shattered tree branches and rapidly whittle them into 5 perfect wooden stakes before throwing them at mach speed at him.

"Cute." Death calmly remarks as his wounds visibly heal, the bullets pushing out of his body and the bloody bullet holes patching themselves up. Strangely enough even Max's jumpsuit is completely mended.

Death opens his mouth and bites down hard on the tail, making Uzi wince and release her hold on him. Death contorts his human body, audibly cracking as he bends his body backwards to dodge one, twists his head so the second only grazes his cheek. His body crackles and snaps as he lifts his leg high up for a perfect standing splits to dodge another stake, and then falls down with his legs still in the splits to dodge the last two as they whizz past both sides of his head.

"Try all you want, Solver. Your useless host can't stop me. At least your previous one was smart enough to have partners working with her. But sad little Uzi here?" Death scoffs with a mean grin on Max's face as he smoothly lifts himself up from the splits. "This pathetic drone is doomed to be forever alone."

"W-what are you-" Uzi speaks up, her visor shifting back and forth from the absolute solver symbol to her regular digital eyes.

"Oh don't act like you don't know Uzi. The lone wolf, the loose cannon, the short fuse in a house of candles, the rogue. All fun silly names that in the end mean, 'the one who pushes everyone she cares about away and is destined to die alone.~'" Death mocks as he slowly saunters closer to Uzi as she backs away.

"How do you know about that?!"

"Simple! When hunting someone or something you deeply hate, you make sure to look DEEP into their past...and their future."

"N-no, that's not-"

"OH BUT IT IS! Little Uzi Doorman. Can't connect with drones her age, can't connect with her father, and the only real friend you made is with a defective drone that can and will forget about someone as boring and unlovable as you." His words tear into Uzi, the drone beginning to hyperventilate as Death only continued to affirm her worst fears, her body overheating as she began to panic more and more.

"Oh but the best part? The human you thought you were friends with? He actually cared about you! But you ended up pushing him away too! Tell me, did any of you actively search for him while he was gone? How many days did you spend searching for him, not knowing he was already in my embrace? Do you wanna know who he was thinking of before he gave up?~" Death continues to taunt as he raises his arm, brandishing his sharp claws, ready to kill the drone while she's completely off guard.

"It's funny really! Your first ever friend, nothing but a corpse just for me to pilot. Honestly, how sad can you get? He didn't even have a heartbeat..." Death chuckles softly, readying himself to deal the killing blow.

"...heartbeat...that's right." Uzi whispers, her malfunctioning coming to a pause as she looks at Death, his attack stopping as he tilts his head.

"Oh? Have you accepted your place in the universe?"

"No...I decide what my place in the universe is!" Uzi shouted out defiantly, Death taking a step back in surprise. "And it's not just me! N, V, J, they all are more than what sick creeps like you decide! The same goes for Max!"

Death just scoffs, an unamused forced smile on his face. "Oh please, what can a corpse decide?"

"Except he's not a corpse! I don't know if what you've said before about what you are is true or not, but I know this for sure, MAX IS ALIVE!"

"Max is, and forever will be, DEAD!" Death shouts angrily, rapidly beginning to lose his patience,

"No, you're wrong! I know he's still alive. When I first got him out of the cryopod, I...I could hear his heartbeat!" Uzi yells out, remembering the day she opened the pod and placed her head against his chest, her audio receptors picking up the soft but clearly existing beat of the human's heart. "He's alive! AND I KNOW HE WON'T JUST SIT BACK AND LET YOU DO THIS!"

"YOU WORTHLESS HUNK OF SCRAP!" Death raises his hand about to slash at the rebellious drone, just for his claws to stop an inch away from Uzi's visor. Death visibly struggles for control as his eyes shut tight, a different voice escaping his throat.

"L-leave...her...ALONE!" Max yells out, redirecting his arm to claw at a nearby tree instead, his claws cleanly cutting through the entire tree trunk. "Get out of her Uzi! I can't hold him off for long!"

"I can't! I left you alone too many times already, I can't leave you no-" Uzi cries out in pain as her body glitches, her visor switching to the absolute symbol again.

"Fucking hell! I...I need something to help remind me I'm alive. What you said helped but I can still feel myself losing control. I need my heart to beat more, to pump so much that I can't possibly deny its existence!"

"Uh, if it helps I learned that all the dogs were evacuated off the planet and are immortal now thanks to science!" Uzi reveals in a panic.

Max pauses his struggle before looking at Uzi with a look of disbelief...just for it to shift into a smile. "Oh that's excellent news! Thank you science!" Max laughs cheerily, just to wince before he bashes his head against another tree. "It's not enough!"

"Then let us help!" A voice shouts from above, N swooping in along with V and J. Uzi looks at N in surprise before crying out as her body thrashes in pain. "I got Uzi, you two help Max!" N instructs before picking up Uzi like she's some kind of misbehaving cat. "Up we go!" He cheerfully shouts before throwing Uzi incredibly high into the air.

"Who made him the boss of us?" V asks J who shrugs in return.

"Nice to see you're still alive Max, or sort of alive? I don't know, V and J gave me the rushed version." N says with an awkward smile and rubbing the back of his head.

"I-it's okay, I'll explain it myself if we all get out of here alive." Max just gives N a pained thumbs up before the Murder Drone takes to the sky to be alone with Uzi. Just in time too because Death growls angrily with Max's body.

"AGH! I'll destroy this entire planet and kill every drone on it if it means the Solver dies too!" Death bellows out before rushing at V and J! He claws at both of them, the drones were ready though with V parrying his slashes with her swords and J's own mechanical claws clashing against Death's.

"Sounding a loooot like Cyn right now." V taunts with a smile as she slashes forward, cutting at Max's cheek and drawing blood.

"Careful! We don't wanna kill him!" J reprimands V, just for her fellow drone to scoff.

"I couldn't care less! He's not important to me!" V states just for Death to chuckle ominously with his head hanging low. "What's so funny?"

"Oh nothing, I'm just happy I'm not important to you, because I've seen exactly how you treat those who are."

"What do you-"

"Tell me V, does N know?" Death throws out the question, V's eyes narrowing.

"Know what?"

Death raises his head and grins maliciously. "That you're the one who carved him up and helped make him the monster he is today?"

Both V and J's eyes widen, flashes of images of a strange dark mansion appearing in their minds. Neither can remember or even understand just what Death was saying, but it certainly was enough to piss off V. The Murder Drone gently closes her eyes and takes a breath before looking at Death. "...I'm going to feed you your own heart."

"This wouldn't be the first human body you've done it to.~" Death comments mockingly, jumping back to avoid a deadly slash from V, the Murder Drone repeatedly swinging her blades at the puppeted meatbag with increasing fury.

"This isn't going to work. What did Max say when we flew in, 'raise his heartbeat'? But how do we-" J blushes as a certain idea comes to mind. An incredibly awful and humiliating idea.

Death and V clash together, his claws and her blades locked in combat before the both of them unleash a flurry of attacks, claw swipes and sword slashes moving faster than the eye can see! Once the attack ends, several trees surrounding them slowly collapse away from the combatants.

"You know, for a Murder Drone, you're quite bad at your job." Death taunts aggravatingly as V snarls.

"That's only because J and N wouldn't let me kill any of the annoying campers here! And for the supposed entity called Death, you're shit at fighting!"

"Well it's not easy when you have a stubborn human fighting for control the whole time. But I have more than enough power for this!" A sickening gurgle can be heard from Max's stomach before his cheeks bulge and expand disgustingly.

"...what the fu-" V cuts herself off as she senses the danger she's in and immediately spreads her wings to take flight! Just in time too as Death opens his mouth and expels GALLONS of steaming almost acidic blood with incredible pressure! The blood was rushing out of his mouth like some kind of water cannon, the high pressure blood shooting out hard enough to destroy and knock down any trees in its path as Death swung his head horizontally. "Oh that's just disgusting!"

"You ain't seen nothing yet!" Death promises as his cheeks bulge again, only this time launching out an elongated slimy appendage from his mouth that wraps around V's leg.

"Is that your fucking ton-" V is interrupted as she is yanked down hard from the sky just to crash onto the snowy ground. Death retracts his tongue from V before revealing a sharp toothy grin.

"It's time I finish this." Death stalks toward V, his mouth opening wide as two red skeletal hands crawl out of Max's throat and start to stretch out his jaw...just to stop as he hears J clear her throat. "Hmm? Another lamb to the slaughter? Which reminds me, do robots dream of electric she-" Death cuts himself off as he's completely cut off guard by what he's seeing.

J is a blushing mess as she takes her camp counselor hat off her head, gently biting her lower lip before she slowly begins to unbutton her top. Even without anything underneath to be embarrassed about, something about those buttons being loose and exposing her metal chest was quite...electrifying. "There's... something I need to tell you Max..."

Death is completely flabbergasted as Max's mouth starts to close to its original size, the red skeletal hands retreating before he angrily growls. "...how many times do I have to tell you, Max isn't-"

"Shhh." J steps forward, placing a finger on Max's lips, Death twitching as Max's body begins to fight back harder as he can feel his heart beating faster. "Please, let me finish Max." J whispers in his ear, her hands on his chest before slowly sliding down, her wide robotic hips swaying gently side to side as she drops to her knees in front of him.

"I-I need to be honest. The way you commanded me before...it was so infuriating, so demeaning...so perfect.~"

"I never realized how hard it was to be a leader until I had my own squad, and I never want to do it again. I don't want to give orders. I want, I NEED...to TAKE orders.~" J corrects herself, Max's skin going from the sickly Death induced pale to gaining lots of its original color back, along with a noticeable red flush on his cheeks.

J's hands slowly trail down his chest, gently caressing his abdomen before settling on his thighs, her face so close to his lap, her lips slightly parted. "I...I live to serve. So please Maxwell, let me service you.~"

With that last sentence, Max's heartbeat skyrockets! His head twitches, his neck cracks and snaps, and his eyes shut tight as his body reverts to his natural human self. No more claws, no more sharp teeth, nothing unnatural! And then finally his eyelids open wide to reveal his usual white eyes and crimson irises!

"WAIT! I'm not ready for this kind of thing!" His voice was completely back to normal! "W-we don't know each other well enough! I'm not even sure if we even qualify as friends yet, let alone friends with benefits! Look, you're incredibly beautiful and I believe you have what it takes to be a good person, but I can't do this with you yet! It's not a no, just a not now...wait a minute." Max pauses as he looks at his hands, realizing he's back.

"I-I'm back! I'm alive! God my heart is beating so fast!" Max laughs nervously before looking down at J still on her knees. She stares into Max's eyes before blushing furiously, her body feeling like it was overheating before she quickly backs away.

"E-ew! I can't believe I had to do that! I-I can't believe I had to lie and say those g-gross things!" J immediately began yelling in a flustered state, Max looking at her in surprise before chuckling softly.

"It's okay J. Thank you so much for helping me. If you want I can do everything in my power to forget all of that. We can happily act like it never happened." Max reassures her, J looking at him with a pout and blush.

"Y-you promise?" She can't help but ask shyly.

"I promise." Max swears with a kind smile.

"I don't!" Max and J look to see Uzi giggling in her usual manner, wrapped up in N's arms looking a lot better, as he along with V and Lizzy look at the scene in various states of bewilderment.

"AAAAAAH! How long have you all been there!?" J screams mortified.

"Long enough! Quick fly N!" Uzi commands, N quickly spreads his wings and flies away.

"Ew." Is all Lizzy says as V picks her up and flies off with her.

"GET BACK HERE SO I CAN RIP THE MEMORIES OUT OF YOUR HEADS!" J roars out angrily as she takes flight after them.

Max chuckles softly, happy to find himself back with the group. He takes a step forward toward them only to pause.

"...you're still here aren't you?" Max asks, his hand over his heart, feeling his heart beat to keep himself in control.

"...you can't beat Death, I am inevitable." Death threatens, his voice audible in the back of Max's head. However he is caught off guard by some snickering from Max.

"Dude, pretty cliche, not gonna lie." Max jokes before getting serious. "I know you can't tell the future. If that were the case, then we wouldn't be having this chat would we?"

Death is silent. "I thought so. I don't know how much of their past you truly know, but don't you dare use it against them like that ever again." Max growls out before sighing. "With that said, it's probably for the best that you stay with me."

"Oh? And here I thought you hated me..."

"Trust me, I'd prefer if I never had to deal with you again...but I will need your help if we wanna stop the Solver. However, WE'RE NOT KILLING UZI." Max firmly states, not giving any room for negotiation.

"...so what do you propose?"

"When we face the Solver, we work together. No more free joyrides with my body. We either face her together or not at all."

"...you're quite the impudent human...but fine. It's a deal. I'll keep you alive for now and give you the power you need to fight when the time is right. For now I will rest, you and your drones are quite tiring." Death mutters before going quiet, leaving Max alone again.

Max is silent as he lets the new knowledge he was given sink in. He still didn't know everything, he at least knows their enemy isn't humanity...but something much worse. Some of what Death said in the fight rings in his head, questions on his tongue of what really happened to make the Murder Drones what they are today...and if they had a hand in the near extinction of mankind.

"They're not my drones, they're their own free beings..." Max mutters before scoffing. "Tch, the only god-like being to care for humans, and it's only because he saw us as a never ending food supply...life sure is funny like that..."

———

Funny thing, the idea for the story all started because of that silly symbiote Spider-Man and Shocker scene. I had the realization that Shocker could easily be replaced with Solver, and pieces of this story started forming in my head. It's so weird where inspiration can come from.

So now we have Death as an...ally? I think that's the best way to put it, he's certainly not a friend, but at the very least the drones should be safe. Now to clarify, this Death isn't exactly the Death you'd normally think of. He's no angel or guide to heaven or hell. He's more so a cosmic entity like the Absolute Solver, a being beyond normal comprehension. He only takes on a skeletal appearance and other Grim Reaper qualities because it's what is easiest for a human like Max to understand instead of the psyche destroying incomprehensible true self of any eldritch creature. And like any other eldritch being, he holds vast amounts of knowledge, but no true understanding or care of the emotions of short lived mortals, and has no issue lying to even his host to get what he wants.

As for Max, he's in a very weird state of being. The prototype cryopod technically kept his body functioning and the loosest definition possible of 'alive'. If Uzi found him and Death wasn't using him as a host, Max would have died in mere minutes. However that wasn't the case, he is now neither completely dead, nor completely alive. It honestly wouldn't be too farfetched to call him undead if it wasn't for the fact that he still has a pulse and a free will.

Btw, I won't lie, I was so tempted to put the Death speech from Puss In Boots 2 here, but I figure I already use enough references.

As for the next chapter, instead of jumping straight into episode 5, I'm going to be using scenes from the fantastic Murder Drones fan animatic, Murder Drones: Intermission by Ghoulinfuchsia. It's such a fantastic piece of art, and will allow for the characters to have some time to bond!

I highly recommend watching it on YouTube, you wont regret it! Now then, on to the Omake! Not gonna lie, this feels more like just some nice practice for writing action scenes. (Btw, when a certain punch happens, I recommend imagining Sonic punching Plok. Kudos to you if you know exactly what I'm talking about. Doovad Hohdan knows how to make some slick painful looking animation.)

———

Semi-Canon Omake (Semi-Canon simply means this is canon to the story, but has no actual plot relevance so it's instead delegated to the Omake section, just a fun event that takes place between chapters.)

"Alright maggots, listen up! Today I'm about to teach you all how to fight!" Max yells out, addressing a group of drones including what remains of the WDF and some citizen drones in the colony that Thad grouped together. Having decided it wouldn't hurt to give it a try, and if a popular guy like Thad approved, then they figured it couldn't hurt to try!

One drone raises his hand. "Yes, you have a question?" Max points at the drone.

"Uh yeah, isn't the whole point of the doors so we don't have to fight?" At this, Max facepalms, slowly dragging his hand down his face.

"Okay, consider this...what if...you encounter a threat that's already INSIDE? Like say, a criminal that's kidnapping other drones, or going around hacking other drones and giving them viruses, or uh...burning your favorite deck of cards?"

At that, some of the drones gasp in fear. Thad can't help but facepalm himself, starting to see the issue more clearly after the WDF did nothing to help when the Murder Drones attacked. Sure they're cool and not murdering anyone now, but what if another threat comes up?

"Alrighty, to begin, I would like a volunteer to come up so I can get a basic understanding of your average knowledge of combat situations."Max scans the crowd, nearly all of them too nervous to step up. Thad sighs and raises his hand. "Thank you Thad, come on up!"

Thad walks up to the front of the room, standing in front of Max. "Alrighty, what am I doing?"

"Well first I just wanna see your thought process. Let's pretend I'm a dangerous criminal crashing your party and murdering your guests," Max pulls out his crowbar and holds it in front of him, trying to look menacing. "What do you do?"

"Uuuuuuuh..." Thad tries to think of an answer, it felt like he was in the middle of a pop quiz! Thankfully an idea comes to mind as his visor temporarily shifts into a lightbulb. "I grab the nearest weapon I can find!"

"That's a very good answer!" Max congratulates with a smile on his face, Thad giving a quiet 'yesssss' and a fist pump. "A weapon can easily make a massive difference in defending yourself."

A girl drone with glasses raises her hand. "Yes, you."

"Uh, what do we do if we don't own any weapons? We don't really keep around things like swords or guns in our homes."

"An excellent question! Here's a fun fact, almost anything you can find can be used as a weapon. In fact, I have some friends who will help us demonstrate." Max walks to the front door and opens it to reveal N and Uzi.

"Hello students!" N cheerily greets. The crowd gasps and backs up nervously.

"Now now, it's okay, N is perfectly friendly." Max tries to reassure the drones.

"No! We're not scared of him, we're scared of the unpopular girl next to him!" A drone speaks out, pointing directly at Uzi. At that Uzi's eyes widen before she huffs and turns away.

"Bite me!" Uzi growls out, N gently placing his hand on Uzi's shoulder. Thad wanted to speak up but last time he said Uzi was cool, everyone just laughed and said he was so good at jokes, or had no idea who he was talking about.

Max certainly wasn't a fan of this, and made a decision. "Oh wow! It looks like we have a perfect volunteer! You, come up right now!" Max demands, his voice leaving no room for any argument as the drone sheepishly walks to the front of the class while Thad goes back to his seat. "What's your name?"

"Uh, Trevor." The now named Trevor speaks up.

"Okay, as a demonstration, I want you to pretend you're a dangerous criminal, and I will show everyone the proper way to deal with a violent threat with an improvised piece of weaponry."

"Right uh, I'm a super dangerous hardened criminal I uh..." The worker drone had to think really hard for a good crime. "I...jaywalk!"

"Ooo, the most devious crime!" The literal Murder Drone comments, Uzi rolling her eyes at N's silly demeanor but smiling a bit.

"...fuck it, yeah we can work with that." Max sighs before pulling out some rope from his pockets. "So, before resorting to using force, a great alternative is to restrain a criminal instead. Humans used handcuffs, but some rope or even some wires can do the trick. Allow me to demonstrate!"

"Yeah that sounds good- wait, demonstrate?" Trevor is caught off guard as Max suddenly pounces, pinning the drone to the ground and beginning to hogtie him! "Gah! Hey! Not so tight!"

"When restraining a criminal, sometimes just typing up their hands is enough, it'll allow you to walk them to any holding cell. However if they resist a lot and are likely to even run and try to escape, tying up their legs is acceptable too!" Max explains to the class as he continues tying up the worker drone until he has his arms and legs tied together, leaving him squirming on the ground trying to wiggle away only for Max to pick up the drone and carry him on his shoulder.

Uzi at this point certainly cheered up and was even laughing at the spectacle. "This method though will require you to carry the captive criminal to wherever you need to lock them up."

"Okay this is ridiculous." A drone steps up before addressing the rest of the class. "When are we going to need something as cockamamie as this?!"

"Oh? It looks like we have an accomplice!" Max speaks up, dropping the tied up Trevor off his shoulder. "This seems like a fine time to show off some techniques for subduing a criminal when you don't have a weapon or restraining material on hand. Observe!" Max gets in a stance behind the unassuming drone, his legs apart, feet perpendicular, one arm held forward and the other arm reeled back.

Then all together in one smooth motion, he arcs his punch down to gain momentum, then curves it upwards while twisting his body to increase the force behind the punch. His fist lands, striking the back of the drone's head with enough force to not just send the drone flying, but for his head to be knocked forward so hard that he's front flipping in mid air! The drone's legs are high in the air before he comes crashing back down onto the floor.

"AAAAH!" The drone yells before falling onto the ground dazed. He quickly picks himself back up though to complain. "Ow! I was just trying to give constructive criticism! What kind of self-defense teacher are you?" He yells out, poking Max in the chest.

"Yeah! What is your problem man!?" The tied up Trevor chimes in, having managed to pick himself up, but can only bounce a little in his tied up state.

"What's your name? Show me your credentials-!" The drone keeps yapping. Max had enough of this, reeling his leg back and leaning his body forward so his leg can reach high above his own head. In one fell swoop, Max swings his leg, delivering a devastating kick right to the drone's body, launching him up in the air just a good several inches higher than the human. Then, just to rub salt on the wound, Max leaps forward, twisting his body so he is facing the ceiling, hooks his left arm under the drone's neck, his right arm over the drone's body, and SLAMS the poor robot hard into the ground. With the drone completely bodied, Max lifts himself on one knee and raises his arms in victory.

"OH that's gotta hurt! Max with the RKO out of nowhere!" N commentates, having shifted his arm into a microphone to fit the image.

"Thank you N. Now, any more questions?" Max asks as some drones quickly shake their heads and drag the battered drone and Trevor back to their seats. "Excellent. Now where was I? Ah right! Improvised weapons! When facing a dangerous threat, you have to be ready to use whatever you can get your hands on!"

"Oh! That's our cue Uzi!"

"Yeah yeah I got it." Uzi then presents a bag of several miscellaneous items, the three of them grabbing different items at random.

"A hammer is a very dangerous weapon, lots of tools can be lethal when used outside their intended purpose." Max presents a claw hammer to the crowd. "Hammers, screwdrivers, wrenches, and crowbars just like mine can deal some heavy damage."

"Ooo a hockey stick! Sports are a fun way to play and make friends, but be careful with your equipment!" N warns as he swings the hockey stick hard and accidentally smashes a hole into the wall. "Whoops! Uh, I mean, just like that! That's why it's always important to wear a helmet, especially when around other such equipment like baseball bats or golf clubs. Even cue sticks for a game of pool can make a deadly spear!"

"My turn! Come on, give me something good, oh it's a big one! Let's see we got a..." Uzi pulls from the bag with both hands to find...a wooden chair. At that some of the drones begin to snicker. "Shut up! It can totally be a weapon!"

"That's right Uzi!" Max chimes in. "Furniture can look unassuming, but can easily make for a deadly weapon too. A chair alone can be a bit unwieldy but..." He holds out his hand and Uzi curiously hands it to Max. Max grabs the leg of the chair and kicks the base of it, the leg splintering off the chair and becoming a sharp wooden weapon. "Even a broken chair leg like this one can brutalize someone! So believe me when I say, nearly anything can be made into a weapon." With that said, the bell rings signaling the end of class.

"YES! Class dismissed!" With a cheer, Uzi grabs the broken chair before breaking it against Max's back!

"OOOOOOWWW!" Max cries out, looking at Uzi before wincing and yelping again. "Yow! What the hell is wrong with you!?"

"Jeez! Sorry, I thought these were stunt chairs." Uzi apologizes, not entirely sorry though as it was pretty funny.

"Hmph. Well then," Max reaches into the bag before pulling out a banjo. "Next class I'll be more than happy to show you all about how even musical instruments can make a deadly weapon!" Max plays a few notes before holding it like a bat. "C'mere Uzi, help me with this demonstration!"

"Wait, NO!" Uzi yells as she runs away, Max cackling as he chases after her.

"Max, wait! She didn't mean it!" N shouts as he runs after the human.