Chapter 26

Katniss

The next few days come in a blur. I don't have to eat actual food. They keep pumping it into me through the tubes in my arm. I do have to drink water though. But I don't really mind that. It helps the constant headaches that I get.

The hovercraft picked up Plutarch yesterday. I spoke to him right away. It took me almost an hour but I convinced him to let me see Peeta more often. Of course, Haymitch had a fit, but I really couldn't care less about him right now. 

They're also getting Peeta into therapy again. They're basically repeating everything they did last time. I remember my first real visit to Peeta then. I was angry with him. I wanted to yell and scream horrible things at him. It was the first time he saw me for what I really was. Not this absolutely wonderful girl. It's hard to believe that that was just a year ago.

"Katniss," I look up. Plutarch and a few guards stride in. What, were they going to force me to eat again? I started eating applesauce and other soft food on occasion after I was allowed to see Peeta again. I feel like a four year old child, making sure I got my way. "We're landing again. We're unhooking you and taking you to the hospital wing in the building." 

The doctors take out the tubes and let me stand. I've walked a few times while on the hovercraft. I really don't see the point of coming along on this trip in the first place. I guess this meltdown wasn't exactly planned. Or maybe they just want to keep me away from Peeta.

I grab Plutarch's arm and he helps me out of the hovercraft. In the main lobby area I sit down and curl up on a windowsill. It's more of a shelf than a windowsill because there was no window to see out of, but it'll due.

We land a little while after. I push my hair over my shoulder and grab hold of Plutarch's arm again. I don't want a wheelchair, even though it was probably necessary.

Inside, I am immediately instructed to the hospital wing. My mother is a nurse there. I imagine Prim to be working beside her. I know she never will. She would have been such a great doctor.

I sit on one of the beds there. I wonder if Peeta's room was still number 25. That would mean he is just a few steps away. I doubt they would have kept him here though. Not with me so close. 

They put the tubes back in my arms, but don't handcuff me to the bed this time. I've calmed down a little bit after the last time. 

My mother sits down in the chair beside my bed. She strokes my hair. I feel her sad eyes on me. I look away, pretending not to notice. "If only she were here. . ." my mother whispers. It takes me a second to process. My mother never  talks about Prim. In fact, I think this is the first time.

I look over at her now. There is a tear about to slip from her eye. Mine begin to grow blurry. I blink the tears away. I needed to be strong. That's what Prim would have wanted me to be. "What do you mean?" I ask. That sounded awful. It makes me sound like I don't care that she is gone. But my mother knows that is not the case.

"She would have known what to say. She would have known how to help you. . ." my mother says. I nod a little and look at my dirt-caked nails. I'm not really sure how dirt got under them, as I haven't been outside in such a long time.

"They're helping Peeta again," I say, breaking the silence between us.

"That's good," she says. She stands and grabs a bowl of mashed potatoes from my bedside table. "I forgot. They want you to eat something."

She hands me the bowl. At first, I am reluctant to eat it, but I do anyway. I do it because I can almost hear Prim, urging me to eat something. Probably crying, and begging me to. She knew I always gave into her when she started to cry. That's how she got to keep Buttercup.

I haven't seen that cat in a long time. I think he wandered out into the woods after realizing Prim would never come back to him again. Maybe he died in the explosions. Or maybe he's off living a happy cat life of freedom in the woods.

***

I slowly begin to wake up. The medicine I got right after I ate earlier put me to sleep right away. I look up. Plutarch and Haymitch are sitting in the chairs across from my bed. "Hello," I say quietly.

"Are you ready to see Peeta?" Plutarch asks. Haymitch doesn't look happy about this idea at all. I ignore him and nod, greedily.

"Alright. You're going back to your room tonight. Tomorrow morning, after breakfast, meet me here," Plutarch says. I nodded. My mother comes in and unhooks me from the machines. I nod her goodbye and walk out of the room.

My head still hurts a little bit, but I think that it's a side effect from that sleeping medicine they keep giving me.

Plutarch and Haymitch say goodbye to me and I turn down the hallway to my room. I am sure Annie and Ruth won't want me in the same room as them, but I can't care less. I just need to get out of that hospital.

I open the door. Annie and Finn are gone again. Maybe Annie really is mad at me for not being able to save Finnick from those mutts. 

Ruth is sitting on her bed, staring at the wall. She jumps a little when I come in. "Oh. It's just you," she says.

"Just me," I reply, sitting down on the bed. Ruth looks like Rue and Prim combined. She is paler than Prim, but had darker hair than Rue.

"I'm going to bed," I say. My voice sounds cruel and bitter. I didn't mean for it to come out like that. Not to this young girl, who reminds me so much of two people I loved.

"Goodnight, Katniss," Ruth says. Her voice sounds so sweet and welcoming.

I turn away from her on my bed and stare at the wall.

"Ruth?" I ask.

"Hmm?" she asks. I don't know why I said what I do. Like always, my mouth acts quicker than my brain.

"You can sleep in my bed with me tonight if you want," I say. I can almost hear her smile, if that's even possible. I know I just need to feel warmth again. Too much cold is in my life right now. 

Ruth walks over to my bed and lies down beside me. I wrap my arms around her, the way I used to do with Prim. "Hey. Just warning you, I get nightmares sometimes at night." I whisper, she nods.

"I sometimes do too. . .They're obviously different than yours though," she says. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," I reply sleepily. I fall asleep almost instantly. I dream that I am with Rue in the woods in 12. We sing together, and the Mockingjays echoe. It's the first time I've had a good dream in a long time.