DAY 17

"Let's go, okay?" Is what he said before you two head out the door. You nod and give him a smile. He smiles back. 

But as he turns to leave, you bite your lip until you taste blood. Your heart is in turmoil because how are you supposed to feel when you might not see the one you love in person after this day?

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"I'm going out for a while, 'kay? I'll see you guys in a bit." Is what you told your roommate the next morning. Well, it was close to 12 PM by now. 

She looks at you with a concerned expression, but nods anyway.

You leave. As you walk to the door of the hotel, your mind wanders to the last date. Your eyes start to sting a little, but you blink hard a few times and the sensation goes away. At the end of last night, he had given you a kiss that lasted shorter than you wanted it too, and one last message. "I'll see you again, don't worry." But you did worry. Because what if "again" wasn't today or tomorrow? What if it was next year or longer?

You walk down the street, feeling out of place. Because the world around you is bright. Because the sun is shining, the birds are chirping, the people are smiling. Because couples walking around, hand in hand. Because you should be doing that too. Because you've never wanted something --- someone --- as much as now.

Not even you yourself know where you're headed. You just keep walking to no end, as if you can walk away your worries. You look down at the ground, avoiding eye contact with people on the streets. You're sure that they must think you look strange, walking like this. You're fighting back tears.

Someone in front of you says your name. And then you bump into them.

"I'm sorry!" You say, eyes wide, snapping out of your thoughts. You look up at the person in front of you, who now has his hands on your shoulders to balance you. "Oh! A...annyeong, Kyungsoo."

"It's okay. Oh, uh, hi." He greets you awkwardly, then smiles at you. Then he rubs the back of his neck nervously. "So...how are you doing?"

"I'm good." You look him in the eye, feeling a little suspicious. "What's wrong...?"

"I just...well, we were there. And, uh, we saw what he did and he feels ashamed."

"Oh...yeah. Yeah I know."

"He didn't mean to push her down like that. I mean, he wasn't aiming to hurt her and any rumors you've hear, they're not true!"

"It's fine. I know he didn't mean to, just..." You smile sadly.

"Then...why do you look like you're about to cry?"

"It's okay....I just..um.." To your embarrassment, tears start to flow out of your eyes. And then the hiccups start. You can barely speak. Slowly, delicately, as if he might break you, Kyungsoo hugs you tightly. He pats your back too. And when you can finally get the words out, you say, "What if I don't see him again?"

He keeps patting your back as you hug his chest and cry. You don't care about the people who walk by you on the street, and Kyungsoo doesn't seem to care either. As the hiccups go away, your crying becomes almost silent, tears flowing out without another sound. You hear him open his mouth and let out a breath, as if he wanted to say something. You look up at him.

And he stares into your eyes. "I...uh..." He starts. You step away, to loosen the hug. His hand is still on your shoulders. You sniff once. "I've been wanting to say this for a while, but with Kai and all...I, um. I really like you a lot. And I don't care if you like me back or not as long as you never forget me." 

You're speechless. "Kyungsoo, I..." He hugs you again. 

"If you ever need a shoulder to cry on, I'm always, always here." He tells you. And for the first time that day, you smile for real. 

"Yes. I'll make sure to come to you then." Then you ask him for his phone number. He laughs and you two switch phones to put in each other's numbers. Suddenly, your mood is brighter. 

"Do you want something to eat? Have you had lunch yet?" He asks you, handing your phone back. You hand his back too.

"No I haven't...And I didn't bring money either..." He smiles. He looks really cute smiling.

"It's fine, I can pay." 

"Thanks!" You smile too, and then you two start discussing about where to go to eat lunch. In the end, you end up going to a fast food restaurant. 

You two order and sit down to eat. You chat, talk, laugh, and enjoy your time. And you smile and try to forget. 

But there's one thing you know for a fact.

As you two are leaving, Kyungsoo gets a phone call. 

"Ne? Yeah. Yes. Oh. Ok. I'll see you then." He turns to look at you with an apologetic smile. "I have to go now, I'm sorry." He hugs you one last time.

"Listen...Kyungsoo." You say as you two are hugging. 

"...Ne?"

"I...can't love you back. I'm sorry."

"You love Kai, don't you?"

You nod slowly. "Yes." 

He releases the hug and you see that he's smiling. "Well I have some time before I need to go." You laugh at that and he grins. "Sit!" He indicates a bench nearby. You two sit. 

"Kai, pre-debut," he begins. "Well...okay, to be honest, he always seemed really stressed, and he fought sometimes too. He lived a rough life, and when he officially joined us, he stopped that. But sometimes when he gets angry, he'll break something." Kyungsoo laughs at that. "It's like there's a beast inside of him that wants out." 

He turns to look at you. "But since you arrived, and since you two started...going out, he never did that. He never got angry, he's smiling more, he's more....cute? I guess. He loves to joke around, he always has. But before, he was just on edge. Don't worry about it, okay? He's more...tame? I don't know, it's hard to describe." 

The both of you stand up simultaneously. You smile. "Hang out again sometime?" You ask him. He nods cheerily.

"Of course!" Then his phone beeps again. "Ah! I really have to go now! Sorry! Bye!" He turns to leave with one last wave.

You wave to him as he's running off down the street. You're really going to miss this place.

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NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR: ah! It's finally summer! School ended with...a dramatic clang (yeah don't ask, my school sucks...) and I hope it all dies down over Summer vacation! Anyway...can you believe this one is almost over too? This FF isn't as popular as the Tao one, but oh well~ :) Writing fanfics is hard sometimes because even though it's just, like, putting your feels into writing, you still need a plot, etc ><

The D.O. fanfic will start after this one is done! There should be about four-five more chapters, and then an epilogue! :)

Kamsahamnida! I really love you all ><