Ambassador to Madness

Credit goes to SunnyRose

Chapter 3: A Royal Engagement

Summary:

Bilbo gives Thorin his answer and finally meets the king.

Bilbo had been a relatively respectable hobbit prior to his trip to Erebor. Of course, there was talk about him being too "Tookish". There was always talk about that especially after he spent a week in the Old Forest after his mother's passing. The long-lived trees had always given him comfort, and he felt obligated to a small holiday to escape the false condolences and greedy eyes aimed at his home. Bilbo certainly hadn't expected to return to Bag End to find a wizard waiting on his front porch blowing rather impressive smoke creatures much like he was doing now.

"You've had quite an exciting couple of days, Bilbo Baggins." Gandalf addressed with a twinkle in his kindly eyes.

The hobbit crossed his arms over his chest as he began to tap his foot against the floor, not the least bit impressed with his guest.

"A new trade opportunity?" Bilbo threw the wizard's words from so long ago back at him. "A chance to fulfill a king's desire to see peace and prosperity? Was that total hogwash or blatant manipulation? Because it was one or the other Gandalf, and I am not amused."

The wizard sheepishly rolled his pipe around in his mouth as he found his way to his feet. A Big Person's tactic to belittle him, but Bilbo had held his own in more than a few shake-downs with the Big People.

"I wouldn't say it has to be one way or another." He finally answered in a falsely wounded tone. "What I said was true, even if it was only partially."

"But Thror..." Bilbo tried to argue.

"Is not King Under the Mountain. At least not in actions, only in name." Gandalf interrupted.

Bilbo felt his jaw tighten, as his fists clenched tight enough to whiten the knuckles. "I will not take part in a coup in a foreign kingdom."

Gandalf's expression saddened and his shoulders slumped. "No, no, I should hope not, my friend."

"So, what is your expectation? What great design do you have for my simple existence in a dwarven kingdom?"

"Well, I thought we could start with dinner." The sneaky wizard offered innocently while waving his hand over to where a small feast had been laid out on the suite's multi-purpose table.

It was only the small grumbles of agreement that Bilbo's stomach expressed that kept him from throwing the grey giant out of the room. More secrets. More omissions of truth. More stalling. Bilbo's impression of Erebor was getting painted in a relatively unfavorable light by every person he talked to within its walls. Still Bilbo was not one to turn down a meal, especially one as well earned as this. However, if Gandalf thought this would in any way pacify him, he had another thing coming. They supped in relative silence as Bilbo refused to start any conversation that would put him off from stuffing his face, and he had a feeling anything Gandalf had to say to him at this point would have that effect. Bilbo did express some disappointment at the lack of dessert, and Gandalf's amusement at Bilbo being able to request dishes from the prince's personal chef was the icing on the cake, metaphorically speaking.

"Why am I here, Gandalf? The prince and his advisor seem convinced that you believe I was 'insurmountable' to their plans for a false marriage. What sort of changes can a simple hobbit from the Shire make when dealing with dark secrets and grand kingdoms?"

"Small changes." Gandalf answered with great pomp.

Bilbo raised a brow skeptically. "I don't believe that is what Prince Thorin is looking for."

"My dear Bilbo," Gandalf sighed. "It is the smallest of changes that can sometimes carry the biggest differences. Thorin, for all that he is a very capable and courageous leader, is also relatively impatient. He could not wait a few more months for our arrival and sent summons from all corners of Arda. He couldn't wait more than a day before cornering you into a marriage you were sure you didn't want, and he refuses to wait for the day that his grandfather is so far gone that the fate of Erebor itself is at risk. Not to say that his reasons are unfounded, but little changes would do him a world of good."

Bilbo shifted in his seat as he busied his hands with balling the napkin in his lap.

"How bad is it?"

"You've seen the amount of treasure they mine." Gandalf pointed out. "Even for dwarves, this is an excessive bounty. I fear it will call many foul things to the mountain before too long. The darkness of greed is not to be underestimated."

"And the people? Do they suspect anything?"

Gandalf shook his head gravely. "No. Not completely anyways. The Council is aware, but that is why they look to Thorin more often these days. Of course, Thror's lack of attendance at these meetings makes that easier to explain away. However, the king recently reacted rather heatedly against the delegation from the Iron Hills, and considering King Dain is a cousin...I doubt it will remain a secret for long."

Bilbo swallowed, before releasing a heavy and deep breath. The large-scale politics of the mountain kingdom were enough to make his head hurt. How did Thorin survive all this?

"Gandalf, I..." Bilbo looked up at the wizard imploringly before he settled into a weak, humorless smile. "You have the wrong hobbit I'm afraid. I was merely looking for an adventure to tell my mother's gravestone, and now I have one. I'm heading home after tonight."

"Is that so?" The wizard questioned, sizing Bilbo up with a suspicious look.

"Yes." The hobbit insisted, more than slightly annoyed.

Gandalf gave a chuckle which irked Bilbo all the more.

"You sell yourself short, my dear hobbit. You left the Shire looking for an adventure, but if you remain in Erebor...you will live one. Which would Belladonna prefer, I wonder?"

Bilbo stood up at this, his eyes focused on the ground.

"It has been a rather long day, and I would like to retire. I would appreciate it if you leave."

"Certainly." Gandalf agreed innocently. "I imagine you have a lot to mull over. I will return on the morrow to go with you to meet Thorin. After all, he deserves an answer, whatever you decide."

Bilbo scowled at the wizard's back as he led the taller being to his door with a prompt 'good evening'. Alone at last. Bilbo's forehead leaned against the cool stone of his door for a moment. The nerve of the Big Folk. Bilbo had met enough of the other races on this journey to become fairly convinced hobbits were the only beings with any sense of propriety or manners. Honestly, the other hobbits would call Bilbo 'mad' if they knew he even was considering an engagement under such circumstances. And no guilt-tripping wizards or blue-eyed handsome dwarves were going to change his mind. With a rather decisive nod, Bilbo made his way swiftly to his bedchamber. Sleep, unfortunately, did not find him easily as his mind danced in a flood of 'what-ifs'. Giving up on the notion entirely, he reached around the bedside until he was able to light a candle and take up the well-worn copy of Loth.

More than just a book 'with an elvish name', Loth was a romance filled with unrequited pining, tragic misunderstandings, and a level of flower knowledge that would make any hobbit blush and sigh. It truly was his favorite book, and that was only partially enhanced by the author's dedication on the first page.

For Belladonna Took, a most remarkable hobbit. I hope you find everything your heart desires in your next adventure.

Bilbo let a small smirk pull at his face as he traced the words. Her next adventure of course being marrying that 'over enthusiastic Baggins lad'. Bilbo had always wanted a love like his parents. And after forty-four years of waiting, it seemed a cheap ending to throw it away on an arrangement with a dwarf he continually fought with. Even if he could be rather charming when he decided to trust Bilbo with the truth...

Bilbo felt himself reach up and touch his hair. The same hair that his cousin, Herugar, told him looked like the 'ugliest shades of autumn' right before Bilbo punched him in the nose at fourteen. Thorin thought it was pretty. Like being in the forge, which just the night before, he had lamented on his passion with metals. Bilbo groaned before using his book to repeatedly hit himself in the head. He was not, not accepting this farce of a marriage. Absolutely not!

In the end, his firm and unwavering answer was stolen from him, and Bilbo blamed the conniving wizard entirely. Thorin had been finishing his music lesson when he and Gandalf happened upon him. There could not be a more beautiful sound in the world beyond that dwarf's deep timber voice perfectly harmonizing with the twinkling alto of the harp he weaved expertly. It was hypnotic and alluring, and before Bilbo even realized it, he was in front of the prince himself gaping in awe. Thorin cleared his throat and immediately stopped as he looked over at his instructor. The other dwarf gave a sweeping bow before exiting the room. Thorin stood slowly, his blue eyes shining painfully with hope.

"Good morning, Master Baggins. I hope you are faring better today?"

"I'll do it." The words tumbled clumsily from his lips.

Thorin's entire countenance lifted with Bilbo's soft words, a small sigh of relief being the only outward sign of his feelings on the matter besides the small smile.

"I'm...pleased to hear that. I shall escort you to Balin. I had him draw up a contract last night. Just in case of course."

"Contract?" Bilbo repeated, furrowing his brows.

Thorin opened his mouth to answer, but Gandalf beat him to it much to the prince's immediate annoyance.

"It's a standard practice in most dwarven arranged marriages. To keep you and your betrothed on equal footing...and legally unpressured into any role or service you would be uncomfortable with."

At this the wizard gave a sharp warning look to Thorin who met it proudly with his head raised high. Completely unnecessary, but Bilbo was pleased to see the wizard was on his side about something in this great mess. He just had to think of this less like a marriage and more like a business deal. It was like Thorin said. They had years to consider an alternative solution. In the meantime, Bilbo would play the happy in-love consort-to-be to a prince who was more interested in his love life than domestic policy.

As they entered Balin's office, the older dwarf was stationed behind his desk with a pair of spectacles perched on his nose as he conversed quietly with a younger dwarf who seemed to be writing down all the advisor said as quickly as possible. In the sight of the new dwarf, Thorin immediately reached over to take Bilbo's hand. The hobbit did his best not to tense at the gesture as he reminded himself that Thorin was allowed at this point. Balin looked up at them with an assessing look before he turned to dismiss the other dwarf.

"Can you give us the room please, Ori?"

The other dwarf's eyes grew wide, but it wasn't at the sight of Thorin like Bilbo would have anticipated. He was gawking at the hobbit. He bowed his head as he silently took his leave staring at Bilbo all the while. He couldn't tell if it was Thorin holding his hand or just the fact that he was a hobbit in general. However, once the door slammed shut behind them Thorin dropped his appendage like it would somehow catch fire. Bilbo tried not to take offense.

"I take it, you have reached a decision, Master Baggins?" Balin quirked an eyebrow.

Bilbo took a deep breath before responding. His voice wavered just a little the second time saying it.

"I'll do it."

"While I'm pleased to hear that, I really want to make certain that this is your choice completely uninfluenced by outside parties." Balin reiterated, shooting a withering glance at both Thorin and Gandalf.

The wizard spluttered while the dwarf prince met his glare with one of his own.

"He gave you his answer. Why are you pushing, Balin?" Thorin complained, crossing his arms.

Balin gave Bilbo his undivided attention, ignoring the other two. Bilbo ducked his head to hide a smirk. He had a feeling he could come to be good friends with the white-haired dwarf.

"Yes, thank you, Balin. But it's okay. I would like to help, and if this is the way to do it...so be it."

"Right." The dwarf nodded before reaching over for a document on his desk. "Then this is a standard dwarven marriage contract. Look it over. If anything is amiss, we can have it edited, but you should find everything covered. Responsibilities and duties as the husband and prince consort, financial reimbursement and travel expenses, sexual services."

Bilbo's jaw dropped as he numbly accepted the parchment. Then again, maybe he still needed to be wary of these dwarves.

"Hang on! S-sexual services?! Now see here-!"

"Read it before you start in on us." Thorin interrupted with an eye roll. "It will do our ear canals a favor if you do."

Bilbo shot the dwarf a glare as he unfolded the document. He quickly skimmed over some of the minor details as he tried to reach the section that already caused his ears to burn. Any acts of romantic or sexual nature must be discussed in advance and completely consensual on both sides. Violation of this clause will result in immediate termination of the contract and the separation of said persons until such a time that a third neutral party can evaluate the degree of violation. Further action will be settled at that time. Bilbo cleared his throat as he tried not to show his obvious relief.

"So, acts of romantic nature? I suppose that goes for grand declarations in the marketplace as well?"

"Aye." Balin smirked. "I had a feeling you wouldn't mind that little addition."

Bilbo nodded in response, resisting the urge to mirror the gesture as he went back to reading through the contract. It was pretty fair. It even allowed him to come and go when he wished provided, he lived four months out of the year in the mountain prior to the marriage, and six months after. The distance between Erebor and the Shire didn't exactly leave a lot of time for him at home, but already had a plan for how to make it work.

"Yes, this is quite agreeable indeed." Bilbo nodded.

Balin produced the quill, and it was only a moment's hesitation before Bilbo was jotting his name on the line below Thorin's own. He barely had a moment to let the gravity of his actions sink in before the attention was shifted onto the next step.

"Now, I suppose we must introduce Master Baggins to His Majesty, King Thror." Gandalf led straight to the point.

"And dismiss the other suitors from the mountain." Balin nodded in agreement.

"They've already been well compensated for their silence as to the nature of this meeting. It shouldn't be too hard to send them away." Thorin scoffed.

Well, it was nice to know that had Bilbo stuck to his gumptions, he would have been sent out the door with a satchel of golden bribes.

"Gandalf is right though." Balin agreed. "We can't continue to hide Master Baggins from the king. Not after the...incident yesterday."

Thorin sighed through his nose with his arms crossed, clearly in an attempt to downplay his annoyance.

"Open court is today. If you bring him before the end, I'll come down to meet you as a more...united front."

"Excuse me!" Bilbo finally interrupted, gaining three pairs of eyes. "Do I get a say in any of this?"

Bilbo would have been impressed if Thorin could roll his eyes any harder.

"Of course." Balin answered as if in surprise that they were even having to address it.

Bilbo took a deep breath, pulling on all his patience.

"So, before we see the king, shouldn't we, perhaps, work out a story for how we...came to be in this position?" Bilbo asked delicately, unable to bring himself to say fell in love.

"We already have." Thorin answered in a dismissive tone.

Bilbo gave a strained smile. "Well good. I'm glad that my life at this point has been decided for me. Do I get to know beforehand or...?"

"By Mahal!" Thorin complained, throwing his hands in the air. "Is this how things always are with you? Yes, Master Baggins, plans were put into motion before you were brought into the fold. We've not had the luxury of time with all things considered. Now, do you want to know what we've come up with or would you prefer to continue nagging us to our death?"

Bilbo screwed up his mouth ready to retort, and he could tell from the way Thorin's nostrils flared that he was gearing up to intercept any word he managed to get out when Gandalf's booming voice captured their attention.

"ENOUGH!" He demanded, the shadows behind him growing more pronounced. "Whether or not you marry, that contract of engagement that you both willingly signed indicates that you're partners now. If you are to sell the ruse, you will have to work together. Not constantly pick each other apart."

"Thank Durin." Balin muttered under his breath.

Bilbo fought the urge to hang his head like a reprimanded faunt even as he gripped his hands into fists behind his back. The fact of the matter was, Gandalf was right. And furthermore, Thorin had given up his secrets. It was time for bygones to be bygones. Heaving a sigh through his nose, Bilbo turned his sharp eyes onto Thorin who was watching him wearily with his arms crossed.

"I do apologize, Your Highness. I shouldn't jump to conclusions anymore. Please, what exactly have you determined for how we met?"

Thorin gave a slight nod of his head at the apology, but his eyes turned to Balin. His expression falling just slightly, Bilbo did the same wondering if the silent treatment would be the best he would get from his "fiancé". Balin immediately launched into a story of how in relocating the princess and her family in the Blue Mountains, Thorin managed to lose his way, ending up in Hobbiton. Bilbo looked over at the prince at this but based on his rosy cheeks and glare boring into the stone wall, this would not be abnormal behavior. Bilbo couldn't help but smile at the idea of Thorin being terrible with directions.

From there, Bilbo supposedly "happened" upon Thorin. Bilbo quickly poked holes in him happening upon anyone in Hobbiton considering he lived by himself at the top of the Hill and offered their meeting to take place near the Old Forest. Not only more believable, but they would be backed up by a plethora of witnesses who could attest Bilbo having been in the forest recently. Balin and Gandalf accepted these changes happily. Thorin seemed indifferent. From there, it was a rather dramatic tale of Thorin being forced to depart, and Bilbo begging him to write. They exchanged correspondence for the next year and a half before Bilbo finally found his way to the Lonely Mountain. Unable to fight the feeling of love blooming between them anymore, Thorin proposes, and Bilbo accepts in a rather spur of the moment decision.

The entire story was a cliche novella, but shamefully one Bilbo would have read. Still the only aspects that he felt held any standing in reality was Thorin leaving a rather large impression, not necessarily for the better on the hobbit, and that this engagement had been a spur of the moment decision. One he wasn't sure he wouldn't come to regret.

"Are we not worried that someone might ask to see these supposed letters?" Bilbo questioned.

Balin and Gandalf exchanged a look.

"It might come up." Balin finally admitted uncomfortably. "But if it does, the law protects you and Thorin's privacy in such matters."

Wouldn't stop spies though. Bilbo didn't know how thoroughly he would be investigated by the king. Even not mentally ill, dwarven princes didn't just marry simple hobbits on a whim. He would want to know the truth, and therefore, was probably going to write a few letters tonight and slip them to Thorin just in case.

"The important thing is you're going to have to quit jumping like a spooked doe every time I touch you." Thorin snorted.

Bilbo opened his mouth to argue, but at the prince's raised eyebrow felt the argument die on his tongue.

"Fine. Now that I'm clued in, I feel more confident that I can act the part."

"Really?" Thorin drawled before stepping towards him with a smirk.

It fought every natural instinct Bilbo had not to step back with every step Thorin took forward. Bilbo's heart pounded in his chest, and it was only the clause about how Thorin couldn't initiate anything romantically without his consent that kept him from worrying over the prince swooping in to claim his lips...or something equally unwanted. Because of course such a thing would be unwanted. It mattered not how delectably soft the prince's lips looked.

Instead, he stopped right before Bilbo and revealed two items from his pocket. One he recognized as the ear cuff from yesterday, the other was a tiny golden braid bead that seemed to be common in dwarven locks and beards.

"Gifts such as this," Thorin indicated the ear cuff. "Are typical in dwarven engagements. And the bead coupled with the braid I would put in your hair will announce our...monogamy."

Bilbo couldn't help scoffing at the prince's term for what they were.

"It won't stay in my hair." Bilbo complained.

"This is you acting the part?" Thorin mocked.

Bilbo felt his face flush in heat as he tried to school his expression.

"Fine, I accept your gifts, Prince Thorin."

"Closer." The dwarf couldn't help muttering under his breath, sending a jolt of irritation through the hobbit.

He attached the ear cuff over Bilbo's right ear. Hobbit ears were naturally sensitive, and Bilbo's overly so which made it hard to keep from grimacing as the metal clamps pinched the upper cartilage. As it was a hiss escaped him when Thorin tried to adjust the ill-fitting device around his pointed tip.

"This is usually supposed to be a loving activity between two dwarrows." Thorin pointed out.

"Well, I am not a dwarf, and it hurts!" Bilbo snapped.

"Hold still then." Thorin grunted. "I'll lower it a little.

Bilbo felt the cuff slide down almost to the lobe before the pressure was released, at least enough to be manageable.

"That's better." He grumbled.

"It's half off. It looks ridiculous." Thorin groaned.

"Let me do it then!" Bilbo ordered, slapping the dwarf's hands away.

He fiddled with the darn thing, sliding it into a position that would be the least painful for him, but also securely held to his ear. Satisfied, he dropped his hands and turned his head slightly.

"Well?" He asked Thorin.

The prince sighed heavily, the disappointment and annoyance almost visibly oozing off of him.

"It will have to do." He decided as he reached for Bilbo's hair next.

Bilbo ignored him as he tried to distract himself from the dwarf's ridiculously large hands pulling through his short curls. He could feel Thorin attempting to make a braid, only for it to fall out causing him to sigh in irritation.

"I tried to warn you." Bilbo sung under his breath.

"It's a bead for infants! I didn't anticipate your hair being this fine."

Thorin struggled a little more with the task before dropping his hands in frustration, letting the bead slide to the ground in defeat. Bilbo snuck a glance over at Balin and Gandalf to see the older dwarf had his head in his hands, and the wizard was watching them with pity lining every wrinkle on his face. Bilbo realized there was no way they were going to sell this to the king in a few short hours.

"Perhaps I could wear it on a chain?" Bilbo suggested. "It'll keep the sentiment at least."

"I suppose you'll have to at this point!" Thorin snapped.

"We'll just say we're waiting until the end of the engagement. When Master Baggins' hair is longer. It'll be alright, Your Highness." Balin intercepted.

Bilbo bent over to pick up the fallen bead just to have something to do that would distract him from Thorin's disappointed ire at the moment. No special etching or attachments, it was as cold and impersonal as the gesture itself.

"Could I perhaps braid a bead in your hair instead?" Bilbo offered.

The hobbit was caught off-guard by the twin spots of red that filled Thorin's cheeks. Balin was the one to answer him.

"Unfortunately, lad, in this situation Thorin has the upper status. You are expected to wear his braids until after your wedding."

"And there aren't special circumstances? What if two dwarves are of the same status?"

Balin opened his mouth to answer him, but Thorin cut him off.

"It's fine. Let's not dwell on it any longer. I have other duties to attend before court. I will see you later. Balin...Master Baggins."

Thorin gave a single nod to Balin, paused as if he was going to say something more before nodding at Bilbo. He spared not even a passing glance for Gandalf. However, rather than take offense, the Grey Wizard seemed as if he was used to such behavior. Bilbo fiddled with the golden bauble in his hands, not quite sure what to do with himself at this point.

"Well, my dear Bilbo. I suppose you would like to make yourself presentable for a king."

Bilbo raised an eyebrow at Gandalf's words knowing that he had hours to get ready until it suddenly hit him that the wizard was giving him an out for a little self-reprieve.

"Uh, yes. Thank you, Gandalf."

"Master Baggins!" Balin called out before the hobbit even got three feet away.

He turned his head over his shoulder, and the white dwarf seemed almost sheepish as he continued.

"Since you're going to be with us for a little longer, I would like to steal a few hours of your day for dwarven etiquette. It's what we would offer any non-dwarven partner, and it would be my own scribe, Ori, who was in here earlier who would lead your lessons. If that's okay by you?"

Considering the fact that Bilbo wasn't actually planning on marrying Thorin, and that the dwarves were notorious for guarding their secrets, he recognized this as the substantial offer that it was. He nodded as a smile nearly split his face.

"I would like that very much, Master Balin."

"Good." The dwarf grinned in return. "No matter how this pans out, I would gladly bestow the title of 'Dwarf-friend' if it were within my rights."

The sincerity and warmth at the dwarf's words filled Bilbo up, finally soothing over some of his more ruffled feathers from the past couple of days. In the back of his mind, he realized it should be Thorin saying this. However, just the fact that someone in this mountain honestly cared for him and his feelings went a long way. Yes, he and Balin were going to be good friends indeed.

Without much more preamble, Gandalf guided Bilbo back to his room before slipping away for 'wizard business'. There was a lot to consider and a lot that needed preparation, but Bilbo refused to budge another inch without food and a good smoke. After that, he had letters to write. And not the fake ones for Thorin, but one to the Thain to notify him as ambiguously as possible that he would be holed up in the mountain for a little while longer, a letter to his gardener to extend his contract as 'house-keeper', and finally to his tenants telling them where they can send their rent while he is away on business.

By the time he finished and set about getting himself and his last presentable outfit ready, the afternoon hours had bled to evening. A knock on the door alerted Bilbo that it was finally time. His nerves danced beneath his skin. This would be only his second time meeting a king, his first in meeting a mad one. Just imagining a worse version of Thranduil had Bilbo sending up prayers to the Green Lady. Balin was there looking rather grim himself as he escorted Bilbo to the throne room. Gandalf was nowhere in sight. When he asked after him, his companion winced slightly.

"Well, Gandalf made a rather poor impression on our king the last time they had contact, and His Majesty banned him from his presence."

Bilbo swallowed heavily.

"No need to fret." Balin assured him. "You let Thorin and I do the talking. You just need to stand there, nod along, and look utterly besotted."

Bilbo thought he could handle that, but to be fair Thorin would be talking, and he didn't seem to have the best impression of the dwarf when he opened his big mouth. However, this would be different. Bilbo at least knew exactly what would be said now, and the lack of surprise would surely dull the edges of his insurmountable exhaustion of the dwarf prince.

They reached the large doors, and before Bilbo could even suck in a deep breath, he was led into the stone chamber. Atop a platform at the end of the walkway was a stone throne with a brilliantly shining jewel placed at its head. So great was the light, that Bilbo could barely take his eyes off of it to notice the dwarf beneath. When he did though, he almost had to double take.

There was so much of Thorin in the older dwarf. From the slope of his forehead to the hood of his brows, and to the arch of his nose. However, that stunningly vibrant shade of blue seemed to be a family trait shared by grandfather and grandson. Bilbo couldn't help but wonder what else the two shared in common and mourned the fact that Thror's illness could easily prevent him from ever knowing. As soon as they were close enough, Thorin left his place on his grandfather's right to meet them where he took Bilbo's hand. Bilbo tried to smile, but was afraid from the pinch of annoyance of Thorin's brows that it came out more as a grimace.

Still the curtain had risen on their act, and the show must go on. Bowing after being introduced, Thorin started to introduce Bilbo to the old king before weaving the outrageous story that Bilbo was told earlier that day. Of course, the prince naturally forgot Bilbo's addition to the tale.

"No, no, by the Old Forest, darling. Don't you remember?" Bilbo interjected playfully.

He couldn't tell what seemed to surprise Thorin more: the fact that he interrupted or the fact that he used the term 'darling' but thank the stars Thorin was quick on his feet as he squeezed Bilbo's hand and gave him a chuckle.

"Of course, ibinê (my gem). You can hardly fault me when your Shire confused me so."

"You know, that is true." Bilbo hummed, allowing his jitters to get the better of him as he turned to speak directly to Thror now. "Once, I had to escort my dear cousin, Sigismond Took, back to the Hill because he had gotten so drunk, he didn't know Tuckborough from Frogmorton. You know I think..."

Bilbo trailed off as his charming fiancé very subtly poked him in the ribs. It took everything in Bilbo to school his expression and not snap at the dwarf. However, before the prince could get back to their story, the king held up his hand calling for an immediate desist.

The hobbit's heart was pounding. Well, that didn't last very long. What was their big mistake? Did Bilbo somehow screw this up by not following Balin's advice of standing there quietly or did Thror know something was up from the beginning?

A surprisingly soft voice left the king. "This is the one your heart has chosen?"

Thorin nodded slowly. "We wish to be wed. We will wait the appropriate amount of time as is custom, but Mas...this hobbit is my One."

Bilbo wanted to laugh. Could Thorin not remember his own name? However, the silence that followed his statement seemed to eat every positive emotion until only anxiety and despair were left. Finally, the king gave a cruel, almost mocking smile before he spoke the words that would topple Bilbo's world out from underneath him.

"Why wait? If it's true love, we shall see you married by the end of the season."

Things had suddenly gotten much, much worse.