Keep Calm

Credit to Fantasyinallforms

Bilbo paced back and forth in the back corridor to the throne room. The door he came through to get here led directly to the King's room and was just about the only place he knew he would not be disturbed. He smoothed down his shirt for the third time and readjusted his new diadem. It had been crafted by Thorin with today in mind and styled to look like the flowering branches of an oak tree. Today, he would be introduced to the entire dwarven court and all three leaders of the current dwarven strongholds as Thorin's One. Their relationship up until now had been an ill-kept secret. Those who lived in Erebor knew that the King was unusually attached to his hobbit burglar. There were mummers of what he was. Some were convinced Thorin would never take anyone, let alone a hobbit. Others thought he was simply a convenient bedmate. No one seemed to entertain the notion that Bilbo was the other half of the king's very soul.

They would know after today.

"Calm yourself, you Tookblooded fool. They'll like you, or they won't. There is nothing you can do about that now." It wasn't the first pep talk he had given himself that afternoon, and Yavanna knew it wouldn't be the last.

It lasted all of ten minutes before his mind was racing again. His head jumped through all sorts of scenarios, not stopping to consider how preposterous some of them were. What if they didn't like him? What if they demanded Thorin be with someone who could give him heirs or decided they could be together, but only if Bilbo was kept a secret? He stopped his pacing to slide down a pillar until he was hugging his knees on the cold floor. He vaguely heard the door open, and Thorin's voice floated through it.

"Amral, they're almost rea- Bilbo?" He felt a warm hand brush over the top of his head and down his chin. "Are you feeling alright?"

"N-no! Thorin, I don't know if I can do this! I'm not meant to be the leader of an entire nation of people!" Panic was quickly swallowing his senses, and to his surprise, Thorin just chuckled.

"If I had not known you were my other half, that would have proved it. When I was a prince, I found myself saying that often." When Bilbo didn't answer, Thorin sat beside him. Head still between his knees, he took the diadem off and slapped it to Thorin's chest. He really did feel hopeless, and his anxiety was edging toward a full-blown panic attack. He felt himself pulled into the warmth of Thorin's chest and held there rather firmly.

"Are you... second-guessing this?" It was clear from the forced calm sound in Thorin's voice that Bilbo had learned was, in fact, distress that the question was more: are you second guessing me?

"Never. I just... what if they make you choose between me and your people? Or what if the people reject me?" He was clinging to the front of Thorin's tunic as he finally voiced his fears.

"They would never be so foolish as to try and make me choose. They know who would win." A strong hand brushed his cheek, and he dipped down to deliver a long, comforting kiss. Despite his enormous strength, Thorin always held him so gently. His hands always found his hair or the small of his back, and he pulled them together. He was like a man who thought this was all still a dream he could suddenly wake up from. Bilbo was putty in his hands, willing to let the dwarf holding him do anything he wanted to him. He had never trusted someone so completely as he did Thorin. "Bilbo, I was made to be with you. Every moment I've spent since my birth has been for you. And I'm sorry, my love, because it does seem like you got the raw end of this deal. I'm sorry that we can't have a simple life, not yet."

They heard a rap on the door, three sharp knocks, a pause, and another knock. It was the mining code for ready. Bilbo staggered to his feet. "I'm alright with it not being simple as long as you're there." Thorin smiled up at him from the floor like a lovesick fool- his lovesick fool. Thorin pushed himself off the floor, and they stood side by side in front of the door to the throne room .

"Bilbo, if you ask, I will abandon all of this. I will ready Fili, and within the year, we can leave for the shire and live there till the end of our days." Bilbo put the diadem back onto his head.

"No. These are my people, too. I want to lead them."