nine

"What about the one after that?" Stu asks over the phone as Phil pushes the wheelchair Doug is in, Stu walking alongside you guys. Doug sits in nothing but a bathrobe and a sun hat, drinking a large bottle of Fiji water you'd found in the hotel room

"You cannot be serious," Stu says over the phone as you go down the ramp towards the driveway outside the hotel.

"Oh, goddamnit!" he yells, snapping the phone shut.

"What?" Phil mumbles.

"Every flight to LA is booked," Stu says.

"What about in Burbank?" Phil asks as you reach the asphalt.

"Sold out," Stu says.

"Oh, fuck! We can't drive there, the wedding starts in three and a half hours!" Phil says.

"We don't have any other choice," you say.

"Alan, where's the car?!" Phil asks as you reach Alan standing on the road with the luggage cart holding your bags.

"It's on its way," he says, holding his hand on his hip.

"You know what? We can drive there, we can make it, okay?" Stu asks, Phil sighing as he leans against the bar railing. You look over and see Jade sitting on the beach, waving at Stu.

"Just-give me one second," Stu says before running over to Jade.

"We will leave without you!" Phil calls after him.

"Who's that?" Doug asks.

"Stu got married when we were fucked up. We were all there apparently. You three were the best men and I was the bridesmaid," you explain.

"No shit?" he mumbles quietly, watching her before taking another gulp of water back.

"Here," you say, reaching into the side pocket of your bag and pulling out the small container of Blistex, handing it to Doug.

"Put that on. Your lips should be healed by the time poor Tracy has to kiss the damn pruny things," you joke, Doug chuckling as he opens it and puts the chapstick on before handing it back to you.

"Tracy-have you guys talked to her?" he asks hopefully.

"I was about to tell her you were missing when Stu fucking knocked me over because he realized where you were," Phil says.

"Wait-so how exactly is this all Alan's fault?" he asks.

"He slipped fucking roofies in the Jäger," you mumble.

"I thought it was ecstasy," he defends. Doug furrows his eyebrows, shaking his head at Alan.

"Is he missing a tooth?" Doug asks, staring ahead at Stu.

"Yeah," Alan laughs loudly.

"We're still trying to figure that one out," you say as the car pulls up, the valet driver getting out and handing the keys to Phil.

"Why were you wearing a dress when you guys found me?" Doug asks, also confused as to why his non-dress wearing sister was in a dress.

"It's a long story. I'll explain it after you're married. C'mon," you say, helping Doug crawl into the back seat as he sits in the middle, you and Phil wheeling the luggage to the trunk as he opens it.

"Told you he'd be okay," Phil smirks, grabbing one of the bags and sticking it into the trunk.

"Okay, I'll admit you were right," you chuckle, grabbing more bags and helping him stuff them into the trunk.

"That's not what I wanted. I just wanted to remind you that not everything ends badly, and that you can trust me," he smiles as he places the last bag, closing and shutting the trunk.

"I'll always trust you, anyways, Phil," you smirk, hopping into the backseat and sitting to the right of Doug as Phil gets behind the wheel.

"It needs to go down!" Alan groans, trying to completely push down the roof.

"It's good, get in," Phil says.

"No, safety first," Alan says, walking around to the other side of the car as he tries to push it.

"It's not going to fucking go in, Alan," you say.

"Alan, it's fine, it's down!" Phil yells frustratedly.

"No, I gotta get it down first," Alan says.

"Jesus Christ, look out," Phil says as he stands up and steps past Doug, hopping on top of the crumpled up convertible roof.

"Don't mess the car up," Alan says before Phil starts jumping up and down as hard as he can on it, it eventually starting to cave down. You accidentally let out a laugh, quickly turning to face the front.

"I'm so dead," Doug mutters.

"No you're not. None of this is your fault, you were locked on a damn roof. Tracy's dad will find out sooner or later that Alan slipped us the drugs so technically it's his fault, along with everything else on this damn trip," you say. Doug chuckles, shaking his head softly at you.

"I still had fun for as much as I can remember, if that counts for anything," he says.

"It means the world to me," you smile. Phil hops off the car, getting into the driver's seat again as Alan sits passenger. Phil stands up, tapping the windshield as Alan does the exact same thing.

"Stu," Phil calls out.

"Stu," Alan says.

"Come on," Phil sighs.

"Come on," Alan says, Phil looking over at him weirdly.

"He's also been doing this odd thing where he copies exactly what Phil does," you whisper to Doug.

"So I've noticed," he chuckles. Stu hugs Jade bye before running to the car.

"All right, let's go," Phil says, starting to drive as Stu hops into the back seat.

-

"At least the trip wasn't a total disaster," Doug calls out as you race on the highway.

"What makes you say that?" Alan asks.

"When I woke up on the roof, I happened to find 80,000 worth of Bellagio chips in my pocket," he smirks, holding them up. All of you laugh, glancing at each other with excitement.

"Looks like we're going home with some money, guys," he chuckles.

-

"There he goes! That's him!" Alan says, standing up in his seat as the van swerves into the lane next to you, the back door sliding open.

"Hey, Neeco!" he yells.

"Hey, what's up, Alan?" this guy named Neeco smiles. Stu stands up as well, a large smile on his face as Neeco tosses the first brown bag, Stu catching it and passing it across.

"Hey, look out!" Neeco yells, pointing at the car very close ahead of you that Phil must've accidentally sped up to.

"Oh, shit!" Phil says, quickly swerving around it and getting back into the lane. Neeco tosses another brown bag, doing some kind of weird handshake with Stu,

"Thanks, Neeco, page me!" Alan yells.

"Adios!" Neeco yells back before the van drives off.

"Who the hell was that guy?" Stu asks.

"That's my buddy," Alan answers. Phil quickly pulls over, all of you getting out of the car and opening the bags, taking out the four tuxedos along with the strapless black bridesmaid dress with a thick white belt.

"Come on! Let's do this quick!" Phil yells as you all strip down to your undergarments on the side of the freeway, quickly getting dressed into your outfits for the wedding. You get into your dress much faster than the other guy's full suits, quickly walking over to the trunk and stuffing your old back dress in your bag. You quickly slip your bra out from underneath since the dress isn't meant to be worn with a bra, grabbing your heels that were given back to you by Mike's bodyguard and quickly lacing them up your feet. You get back into the car first, Doug following after you, then Phil and Stu, Stu closing the trunk before hopping in. Phil begins to drive away, Alan running behind the car.

"Phil, you left Alan," you say, Phil sighing and slowing down as Alan runs to catch up.

-

You drive just a couple blocks away from the venue as you all do finishing touches, Doug shaving his face with an electric shaver, Phil fixing his tie in the rearview mirror while driving, Stu putting on his socks while you run your fingers through the knots in your hair, Alan of course just sitting there and staring straight ahead.

"Holy shit, we're gonna make it," you chuckle as Phil parks outside, all of you quickly getting out of the car and running through the front door. You all stop inside, out of breath as you watch Tracy sit on the couch, fully dressed up with her parents sitting next to her.

"Hey. Sorry, Mapquest took us on a really crazy route," Stu says, slipping the jacket over his shoulders.

-

You nervously stand with the other women on the bride's side, glancing over at the boys still fixing themselves, Doug and Phil smirking discreetly at you as the three flower girls start walking down the aisle while tossing flowers behind them. Tracy and her father appear at the end of the aisle, everyone standing and turning towards them as the music changes. You can't help but wear a large smile on your face after seeing the smile on Doug's face once he sees her, feeling nothing but happiness for your big brother.

"She looks beautiful, man," Phil winks at Doug, Doug smiling as he watches Tracy.

"Sorry I'm late," Doug says quietly to her father once they both reach the end of the aisle.

"Vegas," he winks before walking to his seat. Doug smiles, stepping up to be at Tracy's side.

"Where were you? And why are you so red?" she asks Doug.

"Honey, it's a long story," Doug sighs.

"We are gathered here today because of the strength of love and promises kept," the minister starts, Doug ignoring him as he whispers to Tracy again.

"All I know is that I'm so sorry. And I promise for as long as we're married to never, ever, put you through anything like this again. Can you forgive me?" he asks hopefully. She smirks at him, both of them joining hands as you somehow smile even wider.

-

You stand in the crowd of people slowly dancing along to a weird, seductive version of 'candy shop', trying to wipe your tears away as you watch Doug and Tracy look happy as ever.

"Hey, last time I checked, weddings were supposed to be a good thing," you hear Phil's voice say from next to you. You quickly turn to face the guy smirking down at you, chuckling softly before wiping the last of your tears.

"I'm sorry. It's just, it's so nice to see him so happy and still living his best life since our parents died," you say, Phil shaking his head at you.

"Nothing to be sorry about. Doug would be an even worse mess at your wedding," Phil smiles as you chuckle softly, both of you standing in silence together. You take a deep breath in, now realizing that you don't have any more current dilemmas, other than the awkwardness between you both from that kiss yesterday.

"Okay, I'm just gonna say it since you can cut the tension with a knife," Phil chuckles after a short pause.

"(Y/n), that kiss that happened yesterday, I feel like it meant something, and I hope-I think-you feel the same way. Ever since we both hit puberty and started partying and having fun, I realized how similar we are and how I don't ever want to lose you. Basically, what I'm trying to spit out here, is that I'm in love with you," he finishes with a deep breath at the end. You don't hesitate to lean forward, going up on your tippy toes and wrapping your arms around his neck before kissing him, Phil softly kissing back. Once you both run out of breath, you pull away, staring into each other's eyes as you both pant for air.

"I'm in love with you too, Phil. I thought you just looked at me like a sister before yesterday," you admit, both you and Phil chuckling softly.

"Nope, definitely not like a sister," he smirks, both of you still standing in the same position.

"And I'm pretty sure that's the most romantic thing I've ever heard you say," you smirk.

"Well, you're the only person I would say it to," he smiles.

"It's about time," you hear Doug's voice say from next to you, slowly and awkwardly backing away from Phil.

"You saw that?" you chuckle nervously.

"Look-Doug, we both agree the feeling is mutual. It would mean a lot to us if you-"

"You have my complete, one hundred percent blessing," Doug chuckles.

"Are you sure you don't mind?" you ask.

"Of course not! Phil isn't just my friend, he's yours, too. You guys are so alike, there's no one who I could think of that would fit more perfectly with you than Phil," he smiles.

"Thanks Doug," you smile, pulling him in for a hug.

"But, if you ever break her heart-"

"Yeah, I get the drill," Phil chuckles.

-

"Oh god, she's headed for Stu," Phil mumbles to you as you both sip your beers at the small dining table, seeing Melissa storming over to Stu and Alan after they had both downed a shot at one of the standing tables.

"Stu? You avoiding me?" she asks.

"He better drop her ass," you mumble, taking a sip from your beer.

"Hey, Melissa," he smiles.

"Oh my god, what happened to your tooth?" she asks, clearly disgusted.

"Stu told me Jade said last night Alan actually bet Stu that he isn't a good enough dentist to pull his own tooth out, so he fucking did it for the bet," you say.

"No fucking way," Phil laughs, sipping his beer as well.

"Have you met Alan? Tracy's brother, brother of the-okay, ow," he says when she cuts him off by opening his mouth wide to look at his teeth.

"That is disgusting! Why haven't you returned my calls?" she asks, pushing him backwards.

"There she goes hitting him again. Hey--did you know that Alan isn't supposed to be within 200 feet of a school or Chuck-E-Cheese, either?" you ask.

"Doesn't surprise me," Phil shrugs.

"Well, there was a snafu when we stopped-"

"I called that bed and breakfast in Napa, they said they have no record of you even checking in," she says.

"So creepy," Phil mutters.

"That's because we didn't go to Napa," Stu admits.

"Stu, what the fuck is going on?!" she yells, your's and Phil's eyes widening as some people send her dirty stares.

"We went to Las Vegas," Stu says.

"Oh really? Las Vegas? Why would you go to Las Vegas? It was Phil and (y/n), wasn't it?" she asks.

"Bitch," you say loud enough for Melissa to hear, her glancing over at you and Phil before looking back at Stu. Phil snorts from behind you, causing you to give in and laugh, too.

"Because my best friend was getting married, it was the plan all along. It's what guys do," Stu says.

"Finally, my man is sticking up for himself," Phil smiles excitedly.

"Really?" she asks.

"Yeah," Stu says.

"Okay, well that's not what you do!" she yells, hitting his chest.

"Keep your hands to yourself, Melissa," Phil chuckles.

"Please, she could never," you mumble. You glance behind you, seeing Doug give you a questioning look. You hold up your ring finger before shaking your head no, Doug's eyes widening before looking back at Stu and Melissa.

"Really?" he asks.

"Yes!"

"Then why did I do it? Huh? Because I did it, Riddle me that! Why'd I do it? You know, sometimes I think, all you want me to do is what you want me to do! Well, i'm sick of doing what you want me to do all the time. I think, in a healthy relationship, sometimes the guy should be able to do what he wants to do," Stu says.

"This is not how this works!" she literally screams, even the singer stopping as everyone looks at her and Stu.

"She's gonna blow," you mumble.

"Oh, good! Because whatever this is," he pauses, pointing his finger around Melissa, "ain't working for me."

"The son of a bitch did it," you chuckle, Phil smiling at him with pure admiration in his eyes.

"Oh, really?" she asks much quieter.

"Yeah."

"Since when?"

"Since you fucked that waiter on your cruise last June. Boom!" he yells, a satisfied smirk on his face. Melissa just sits there, her jaw dropped as she stares at Stu.

"He fucking finally admitted it," Phil smiles, slinging his arm over your shoulders.

"This doesn't feel real," you chuckle.

"You told me it was a bartender," Alan says.

"I thought he was being oddly quiet," you sigh.

"Oh, you're right. I stand corrected. It was a bartender. You fucked a bartender," he smirks.

"You're an idiot," Melissa says.

"You're-you-uhh," he groans, trying to think of a comeback.

"You're such a bad person!" he says.

"He's not wrong," Phil chuckles.

"Like, all the way through to your core," Stu finishes.

"Alan, shall we dance? Let's do this!" he says, walking back to the dance area, and Doug seems to be the only one there with the large grin on his face. Doug holds his arms open, Stu running to hug him as they both cheer, the band playing music again. You and Phil both laugh, rushing over to Stu as you cheer and smile for him, too.

-

"Dougie, I gotta tell you man, this was a gorgeous wedding," Stu says as the four of you all hold a beer in your hands, three chairs on the small landing away from the party occupied by Doug, Stu and Phil as you sit in-between his legs.

"I give it six months," Phil jokes.

"You're a dick," Stu says, you and Phil chuckling quietly.

"I don't know what to say. Thanks? For the bachelor party, I guess?" Doug smiles.

"Yeah. I just actually wish we could remember some of it," Stu laughs along with the rest of you.

"Hey guys? Look what I found," Alan says, approaching you with a green camera in his hand.

"Whoa, that's my camera," Stu says, sitting up properly.

"Yeah, it was lodged in the backseat of the car," Alan smirks down at it.

"Oh God-are there photos on it?" Phil asks.

"Yeah. Some of it's even worse than we thought," Alan says.

"No fucking way, give me that," Phil says, leaning forward and holding his hand out, Alan handing to him.

"Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait," Doug says quickly, taking it from Phil's hand and looking back at the party away from you.

"We look at these pictures together, okay? One time. And then we delete the evidence," Doug smirks.

"I say we delete the evidence right now," Stu says, standing up.

"No, there's no way. At least we can know what happened on that night," you say, standing up and Phil stands up behind you as well.

"Are you nuts? I want to find out how I wound up in the hospital, is that in there?" Phil asks, all of you huddling around the camera in Doug's hand in the middle.

"Yeah, it's in there," Alan chuckles.

"Guys, one time. Deal?" Doug asks.

"Deal," Phil says quickly, the rest of you nodding along. Doug holds out the camera in front of you, clicking on the first picture.

"Oh dear lord," Stu says.

"Ha, classic!" Alan laughs as the picture of Alan passed out underneath a girl completely shirtless with an orange nipple piercing, the next picture looking very similar.

"Looks like you were having fun, Stu," you chuckle at the next photo of Stu sitting on a couch with two hookers, a large smile on his face.

"Hey, that's that asian dude," you say, seeing Chow in the next picture with a bunch of hookers as well.

"All those hookers were in our villa?" Doug asks.

"How?" Phil chuckles.

"It's so fucked how we can't remember any of this shit," Phil says at the next photo of him leaning over a hooker laying on the table, holding the stick of a lollipop between his teeth as he brings it down towards the girl's open mouth.

"We looked so out of it," Stu says at the next photo of all of you posing with Chow and a random girl, the next photo the same but Doug is trying to break up the men tugging over the damn brown purse. The photo after that is Phil falling on top of Mr. Chow.

"This is where you two met," you chuckle at the next photo of Stu and Jade, but Jade dressed as a stripper, and then again with her pulling Stu towards her.

"Looks like you're in love, Stu," Doug chuckles when the next photo is both of them kneeling on the table, Stu looking happy/surprised as Jade sits with her legs open.

"Oh, god," Phil mumbles at the next photo of him with a stripper laying on him as he sits on the couch, her legs wide open in front of his chest while her head hangs in-between his legs.

"Please continue," he groans as the next photo is him staring at her ass while she sits on a different position on top of him, then him with his hand up about to smack her butt, you guess. You laugh softly at his obvious uncomfortableness.

"You really couldn't look away from the damn pager while there's a hooker on you?" you ask Alan at the next couple pictures, Phil just smiling at him. The next photo is Stu and Jade kissing, the next Stu holding onto the pole.

"You actually do look like you're having a blast," Phil laughs.

"Oh, fuck," Stu says when the next photo is him about to pull out his tooth.

"That's fucked, man," Phil laughs. The next photo is Phil watching with his hand covering his mouth, you puking in the back.

"Oh, gross," you mumble when you see the vomit coming from your nose.

"No, that's gross," Stu says at the next picture as his mouth is completely soaked in blood as he holds his tooth in the pliers and another one with Alan.

"Stu wins," Doug chuckles.

"Fuck!" you yell when the next picture is you lying shirtless on the table while Phil pokes a needle through one of your nipples, the other one already done as a hooker cheers him on in the back. You quickly grab the camera from Doug's hand, looking at it closer as Phil laughs and glances over your shoulder.

"Shit, I did a good job," he smirks.

"What was it?" Doug asks confusedly.

"Phil piercing my nipples," you sigh, all the guys except Doug cracking up.

"What?" Doug asks.

"Just, don't go backwards," you sigh, flicking through the next few pictures and handing back to Doug. You smile, watching him lay across a bunch of prostitute-ad boxes with two thumbs up.

"Jesus," Doug mumbles as he flicks to the next one of Alan asleep with his head resting on a parking meter. The next one is Stu chugging whiskey straight from the bottle outside a bar, then the next immediately him puking it back up. In the next photo, you all stand at the police car, Alan pretending to arrest two random people while you and Phil laugh at them, Doug standing in the front with a large gun. And for whatever reason, you changed out of your button up and bodysuit and were then wearing the white t-shirt you found the morning after.

"That's when we found the cop car. Jesus, who gave a gun to Doug while he was high and drunk?" you chuckle.

"Who gave me a needle?" Phil laughs, the next photo nearly the same except Doug is holding his groin.

"Skipping that," he says, the next photo of you and some random guy fighting outside the bar. You have a very bloody nose in the picture as you nail him in the face, the blood from your nose all down your lips and splattered on the shirt.

"That explains the blood on my shirt," you say.

"Jesus Christ, you've punched a lot of people this weekend," Phil laughs. The next couple of photos of Alan and a lady at the casino, then two photos of Alan shooting the gun outside.

"I take it back. I trust Doug with the gun. It's Alan that should've never had it," you say.

"There was the craps game," Doug smiles as the picture of you all at the casino pops up. The next photo is Alan and Leslie, then Leslie kissing his cheek.

"Look at your face," you chuckle at Doug.

"Whatever. At least mine's not soaked in blood," he smirks. Next is Alan sleeping on the casino table, then all of you in the back of a limo with couple of girls in pink father scarves, watching Phil lick the sex toy.

"Oh god," he mumbles, tugging at his hair. The next photo is Phil drinking from a large bottle/vase, then the two girls kissing Alan's cheeks.

"Could you keep your eyes open at all last night?" Stu asks, Alan shrugging. There's another photo of Stu then you all with a weird guy with an afro, then him snorting coke as Doug smiles in the background, looking off camera.

"Aw, Doug, being good and staying away?" you chuckle.

"What the fuck?" you ask when the next photo is all of you sitting in the piercing shop as Alan gets his bellybutton pierced.

"Is it still there?" Doug asks. Alan lifts up his shirt, giggling when he sees it.

"Oh my god, we're matching!" he smiles at you.

"No we're not," you mumble, Doug clicking to the next photo of Alan's bellybutton up close, Phil gripping onto his hand as he watches.

"Look at you holding his hand," you chuckle.

"Hey, I wouldn't have done that sober," he chuckles, the next photo all of you smiling in a picture of the finished product. You all smile as you hold up shots with another random two men in the next photo, then Stu yelling at one of them. You snort when the next picture is Stu trying to go after the man takes off his jacket, Phil holding Stu back.

"You're still trying to stop us all from fighting on drugs too, huh?" you chuckle, the next photo Stu hitting both of the men in the face at once.

"You're weird, man," you say at the next photo of Alan sitting on a large indoor fountain, barefoot as he holds a drink in his hand, then you all laughing as the next photo is him after he had fallen in, then standing up again.

"Jesus," you mutter when the next photo is Phil laying bloody and out on the hospital bed, you, Doug and Stu posing for the camera.

"So-what? Did I fuck around in the fountain or something?" Phil asks.

"I don't know. I guess we'll never truly know why," Doug chuckles. Another photo of you pointing as a hurt Phil comes up, then Phil sitting up as he holds a beer, a weak smile on his face.

"Ah, there's the Phil I know," Doug chuckles, all of you laughing. There's a different photo of Chow and a random woman, then her in-between his legs, and then a picture of Doug on the roof sleeping peacefully on his mattress.

"This makes me feel bad," you chuckle, Doug giving you all a death stare.

"If you guys had found this camera earlier, so much shit wouldn't have happened," Doug says.

"Yup. But we didn't," Phil says.

"Really, Alan?" Doug asks as the next photo is Alan pretending to fuck Doug as he sleeps.

"I can just imagine us telling him to stop because it's weird," you say.

"Oh, definitely. But someone still took that photo," Phil chuckles. The next picture is Mike Tyson laying in bed with a blonde, all of you chuckling. The next photo is Stu and Phil hanging over them, holding their fingers over their lips.

"Oh, God," Phil mumbles at the next picture of him pretending to punch Mike in the face.

"Jesus, Doug," you chuckle when the picture after that is Doug pretending to ride the tiger.

"I don't know how I'm not dead," he says.

"Or Alan," you say, the next picture of the tiger practically hugging Alan.

"Well, Phil was pretending to fuck the tiger in the security footage," Stu adds.

"That was awkward," Phil chuckles. The next picture is you, Doug, Phil and Stu posing outside of the back window that the tiger is in. You gasp when the next picture pops up, a woman sucking Alan's dick in the elevator.

"Nasty!" you say, covering your mouth as Alan loudly laughs, Phil chuckling slightly as his jaw is wide.

"Can't believe he got any action," Stu says.

"Let's hurry past these," Doug says, hurrying to skip past the next four photos nearly the same.

"That was when Stu got married," you say, referring to the next photo of the five of you holding Jade up your arms, you standing in the middle.

"Looked fun," Doug chuckles, the next photo the same one of her on his back from the book and then Doug and Alan, then just a picture of the five of you, tallest to shortest.

"Awe," Doug awes at the last photo, you in just the black bra and underwear you woke up in as you puke into the toilet, Phil holding your hair back behind you.

"Look at me, taking care of you," Phil chuckles.

"Wish I could remember. Actually, you know what? I'm glad I don't remember doing that. What I do wish to know is why I'm half naked," you chuckle. Doug flicks to the next photo of you sleeping on the bar the same way you woke up, except Phil is standing over you and balancing a beer on your head. Phil laughs from behind you at the photo.

"That's the way I woke up this morning-well, except Phil," you explain to Doug.

"Looks uncomfortable. Then again, so was the roof. That's the last pic, you guys must've gone to bed after that," Doug says, sighing as he shuts off the camera.

"This is a cursed camera," Phil chuckles.

"I guess we can establish one thing from this trip, guys," you say, all of them waiting for the answer. Even though you're sure they have an idea of what's about to leave your mouth.

"What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas."

------------

Thanks for reading!!! Hope it wasn't too shitty

hangover two now being edited and posted if you wanna give it a read