Little Bit About Me

Clara

I sit in a room at a circular table, unable to think about anything that has happened these last few hours. Emily is in here with me, I can't speak though. I want to, but I can't. She tells me she's going to get us both a coffee and that she'll be right back. Emily returns a few minutes later and sets the coffee down in front of me.

"I know that your mind is all over the place right now, Clara, but it would really help us figure this out if you could tell me what happened." Emily gives a very comforting smile and I just look at her and start crying. She wraps me into a hug and tells me that's it's okay because I'm safe here.

"I knew the man, but I have no idea who that lady was." I shake my head remembering her stupid snobby face and how Spencer looked her dead in the eyes and told her he didn't love me and he never has. I remember how he kissed her.

"That was Cat Adams. I don't know if Spencer ever told you about Maeve but about 2 years ago Cat had gotten her killed her right in front of him. Cats smart and she only talks to Spencer, she's obsessed with him. So i need you to know whatever Reid said in there, was a lie. Of course you would believe it because he had to make it believable, your life was at stake." Emily explains as i try to take all of this in.

"You said you knew the man? Tell me about him." She's quick to add that in and I nod.

"Um, Johnathan Shepherd. That's his name," I look at her and she nods for me to keep going.

"I didn't have a good childhood, I didn't make good choices when it came to relationships because of it. I dated John in high school, we fought a lot, he hit me a lot. I thought it was normal, until one day I realized it wasn't. I already had a bad home life and with just graduating high school I packed my things up and left town. John found out about me trying to leave he found me before I got the chance." I take a deep breath, this isn't something I've talked about in a long time, this is something i've never talked about actually.

"He told me I couldn't leave him if I was pregnant." My voice starts shaking and I look up at the ceiling, messing with my shirt hem.

"He forced himself onto me, I screamed but he wouldn't get off." Tears are burning my eyes again. I hate this, I hate reliving this.

"He when was done he told me if i tried to leave town again he'd find me and kill me. I left town that night. I had to. I ended up in Virginia, I was already going to college here, i just nowhere to stay until the semester started. I was petrified I would end pregnant and homeless, so I bought a morning after pill and found a cheap motel stayed there for a while, I dyed my hair my back to its natural color and i had already changed my number days before I left." I stare at Emily, her face looks horrified. I would be too if I had to hear this story, I feel sick just telling it.

"I changed my story, told people I was from a boring town in Ohio and I got into med school, I bettered my life." I take a deep breath and then exhale, "I got out."

"Spencer and I went to Iowa recently to visit my sister and my newly sober father, I saw John there. When we came back I thought I saw him at the hospital but I tried to ignore it, I thought it was in my mind. I'm so stupid." I cry and Emily shakes her head.

"You're not stupid Clara, you were scared. And you are so strong." She rubs my shoulder and try to hold back my non stop sobbing.

"Don't tell Spencer any of this please, I don't want him to know." I beg with her and she agrees telling me she would never say a word.

"Can you tell me what happened when you were kidnapped?" She asks me and I nod, that will be easier to tell than my past. Little bit about me, I'd like to forget my youth years in Iowa.

I explain to Emily how I thought it was Spencer at the door, and how Johnathan slammed my face against the counter more time than I can count.

"Cat never laid a hand on me." I tell her and she nods.

"She doesn't like getting her hands dirty." Emily tells me with a snide look.

"I thought for a moment it would happened again, John. But Cat stopped him, as much as I hate her and see how crazy she is, she didn't let him touch me, not like that. She let him hit me though, hold a gun to my head. You were there for the rest." I tell her and she nods.

"If you need anything at all, call me. I have to go talk to Hotch," Emily stands up and head to the door.

"He wants to see you." She turns around before exiting the room. I look up at her.

"Reid, he wants to see you. I'll only tell him where you are if you're ready to see him." She waits for my response.

"Yeah," I nod "that's fine."

Emily exits the room and Spencer comes in maybe five minutes later. He does say anything, he just stares at me from the doorway, his eyes scan over my beat up face.

"I'm so sorry, Clara." His voice finally breaks the silence as he makes his way over to the chair next to me.

"I love you so much, more than you could ever know." He reaches for me but stops, thinking he might startle me I imagine. I reach for his hand.

"I know," my voice is cracking as over tears flow out of my eyes. Is this ever going to stop? I pull his arm towards me and he wraps me in a soft hug, i can tell her just wants to hold me close but he's afraid he'll hurt me. He moves a strand of my hair and kisses my forehead.

"You look like a mess." I laugh while staring at him and he just smiles at me.

"You should see yourself," He chuckles softly, I know we'll get through this if we can joke about it. And we're joking about it already.

Spencer and I talk about everything until Emily comes back into the room.

"Hotch needs to see you, I'm gonna go take her up to the hospital and get her checked out." She look at Spencer  and then at me, "I know you're a doctor, Clara, but you need to actually be examined." Emily holds up her car keys and waves me to come on. Spencer watches as I stand up and that's when he sees the hand print sized bruise on my thigh.

He grabs my wrist and I jump back at the sudden movement. Emily freezes to watch him.

"Did he do that to you?" Spencer grits through his teeth. I don't know what to say, yes of course John did that to me but how do I admit that.

"I.." That's all I can get out before he's out the door.

"Spencer!" I rush past Emily and stop when i'm out in front of her, it's not use. He's already gone to wherever he's going. I feel Emily's hand on my shoulder.

"Don't worry about him." She shakes her head and we walk out to the car together.

I've gotten to be good friends with Emily, I think I talk to her more than I do to Annie these days. Annie's been off for a few weeks thought I think she's hiding something from me, she'll tell me when she's ready i guess.

Per my request, Emily goes out of the way so i don't have to go through the whole mandatory questionnaire about how this all happened with one of co-workers. I actually don't end up having to go through at all, Emily just flashes her badge and that's that.

"They said everything looks good, just a few stitches for that gash in your head and we'll be out of here." Emily sits down in the chair next to the bed where I lay.

"Thank you Em, not just for being there for me because it's your job but, being there for me as a friend too." I give her a soft smile and she returns it back to me.

"I'll always be there for you Clare bear." She jokes with me and that's how we spend our time until we're back at the BAU.

I notice that Spencer has a bloody lip when I see him speed walking down the hallway as Emily and I exit the elevator.

She looks at me and shakes her head, telling me to just leave it alone for right now. I haven't seen Spencer's angry side. I mean of course i've seen him mad and frustrated but i've never seen him say or do anything violent. So when I see a chair flying in Hotch's office with Spencer coming out slamming the door behind him, you could say I'm shocked.

"Does he act like this all the time?" I look to Emily and Penelope, nothing shaking their heads no.

"First time I've seen it." Emily takes a sip of coffee. It's almost 2 in the morning, i have no idea what's going on but I'm so ready for bed.

Eventually Hotch wants to see everyone so i'm left alone sitting at Spencer's desk. He has a picture of him and his mother framed on it and next to it is a slightly smaller frame with a picture of me and him inside. There's papers scattered around and that's when I noticed the small velvet red box sitting on the edge. I look around as If i should t be touching it and then grab the small box.

I open the box expecting it to be a necklace or something that he had gotten for me or maybe his mom but i'm taken back when J open it and see a beautiful diamond ring staring back at me. I close the box quickly and set it down. I spin the chair around and face the wall.

Just close your eyes, Clara. You didn't see it.

———————AN: this is so off topic but I have a job interview tmrw and I'm stress writing so pls enjoy these updates😍