Chapter 42 - Anastasia

I don't want to let Daniel Hardman win. I want to sabotage his plans at all costs. But I hate the way we are doing it this time, and I'm not going to pretend that I don't.

I haven't said a word to Harvey since we left my apartment. I just signed the marriage license and got in my car. I didn't take my keys with me on purpose, so he'd get them and drive because I'm not in the mood, and honestly I don't trust myself behind the wheel right now.

We arrived at the courthouse a few moments ago. It was much earlier than Harvey's appointment, so we had to wait for a two couples before us. I sat down while Harvey stood against the wall besides me.

The other couple was sitting across from us. The woman is dressed in a white knee-length dress, perfect for the occasion. On the other hand, I just threw on the first things I found in my closet; a pair of black pants, a red top and a black blazer. They are sitting there holding hands, and laughing at something he said. Meanwhile, I don't even bother to turn my head and look at Harvey. I just know he's staring at his phone.

This is not how we're supposed to get married.

I take a deep breath to hold it together. But it cases me to yawn.

"Have you slept at all since you left New York?" Harvey whispers

"Of course, I took a great 12-hour sleep after my 3-hour nap" I answer ironically

"So, you didn't sleep at all..." he sighs. He puts his phone away and kneels down to my level like I'm a child. "Ana, you'd been awake for 36 hours before you came to New York. You took a 3-hour sleep, only because you had a panic attack prior to that, and then went straight into a 12-hour night shift. How long do you see yourself lasting like this?"

"For as long as I want. I told you I'm managing it" I answer, not very convincing.

Before this, I wanted to tell him that I'm not doing well; admit that he was right about me needing some time to rest. But now he's pissed me off so I'm not giving him anything.

Harvey lets out a breath, like he heard my thoughts. He rests his hand on mine. I look down and let him interlock our fingers. He rubs the back of my hand with his thumb.

"Fuck it. Let's go" he says and gets up, never letting go of my hand

"What?" I finally look at him

"As much as I want to marry you and beat your father at the same time, this is not right" my heart flutters at his words, "I love you and I'm going to marry you the right way when the time comes. But for now, I'm not going to let him take another moment from us and tarnish it" he states as he drags me outside the courthouse.

"I'd rather go to jail with Mike and Jessica than do this to you. And that doesn't mean I'll let Hardman get his way, I will find another way to crash that cockroach, be sure of that. When I'm done with him, he won't even dare to think about you again, let alone use you for his plans. And if I'm going to jail anyway, I will beat the shit out of him for every time he's made you cry. Go big or go home, right?" he adds as we walk.

My heart explodes. "Wait, Harvey--" I stop him at the stairs of the courthouse

"Don't tell me you changed your mind now--"

I grab his face and cut him off with my lips. I can tell my move took him by surprise from the way he takes a second to respond. Once he realizes, he wraps his arms around me and brings me closer as he kisses me back.

One hand tilts my head like he needs to get deeper, to taste more. His tongue slips against mine, making my stomach drop and twist like I'm on a roller coaster. In that moment, everything else slips out of my mind.

Desperate for a breath, I pull away first. "I love you, Harvey. And I would love to marry you when the time is right" I tell him

"Really?" he asks

"Absolutely" I answer.

He grabs me and kisses me again, causing me to smile.

"But this is not a proposal, we are not engaged. You still have to do everything you are supposed to; Get a ring, kneel, actually ask" I remind him

"I wouldn't want it any other way. You deserve everything, and more" he reassures me and kisses me one more time

"And that means staying out of jail" I point out

"I'll do my best" he smiles. "I know we have a lot hanging above our heads right now, but I suddenly feel like celebrating" he admits

"I would love to, but I'm quite exhausted actually. Could you grab me some food and take me home?"

"Your wish's my command" he keeps one arm around me as he leads me back to the car.

He opens the door for me and I watch him jog to the driver's side with a smile across his face. Somehow, he makes me fall even more for him when he acts this way.

"Can I confess something now that we are on the topic of marriage?" I say as he starts the car

"Of course"

"I always wanted to take your last name" I admit

"How come? I thought you wanted to carry your mom's last name" he remembers

"I changed my last name to her maiden name in order to avoid carrying Hardman all my life" I remind him.

"You're right. Specter is by far better. Dr. Anastasia Specter... Ahh, I'm getting hard" he says, causing me to laugh.

And as another thought crosses my mind, I begin to laugh harder. "Imagine Daniel's face when that day comes and he hears that" I manage to say between laughs

"He'll get all angry and red, but he'll keep his composure. He'll force himself to talk like the little saint he thinks he is, while burning on the inside" Harvey paints the rest of the image as he laughs with me

"Oh, it's gonna be priceless".

The laughs face out and silence takes over. But the smiles remain on our faces.

I put my hand in Harvey's. "Thank you for thinking it over again" I give his hand a squeeze

"No need. I shouldn't have pushed you to do this when you clearly didn't want to. I'll find another way" he reassures me, but I'm not sure he believes it. "And that's a problem for tomorrow. From this moment on, my phone will be turned off and we'll spend the next 16 hours in bed"

"Sleeping" I remind him before he mentions anything else

"Yes. You're not the only one that's lost sleep these last couple of days" he confesses

"Ok, fair enough. But... I have one more question"

"Shot"

"Why do you think you'd go to jail if they keep investigating you?" I finally ask

"I can't tell you, Ana, because that would make you an accomplish" he replies

"Come on, we are doing so good. Don't ruin it" I beg him. "What is it? Did you kill someone? Punched someone?"

"No, no. I can't tell you especially now. Otherwise Hardman could take it out of you on the stand"

"You know I can lie, right? I could tell them you didn't tell me anything about Monica's case, and I could say I don't know anything about whatever illegal thing you did"

"I don't want you to purger yourself for me. Only God knows what other shitty evidence Hardman could have planted"

"No one's gonna know. I'm a great liar" I insist

He eyes me as he drives, "I'll remember that the next time you swear to me that you weren't looking at photos of Jensen Ackles on your phone" he states

"That's diff-- Don't change the subject! What did you do?"

"I promise I didn't hurt anyone. Good enough?"

"No"

"In that case, I am exercising my right to remain silent"

"No, no. You don't have these kind of rights with me"

"Then I swear to tell you the whole truth when we get Daniel off our backs, ok? I compromise on not telling you at all, and you compromise on time"

"Ok, fine" I agree.

"Don't stress over it" he tells me and kisses my hand

"I'll stop stressing when he stops coming after us" I sigh.