Chapter 31 - Anastasia

The vote for Managing Partner was supposed to take place this morning. I was busy working in the Emergency Room all day, so I didn't check my phone much. However, I was surprised to see that Harvey hadn't called to update me about the vote. I tried calling him on my way home and was greeted by his voicemail every time.

Now, it's the afternoon and Harvey hasn't picked up any of my calls or answered to a single text all day. This is definitely bad news, probably meaning that my father won the vote. Now I'm starting to get anxious that Harvey might be misplacing his anger on me. If that's the case, I'm going to give him the rest of the night to calm down and if he doesn't reach out by the morning apologizing, I'm going to go to New York and cut his balls off. I didn't move all the way across the country for this unfair and shitty behavior.

I hate to admit that I've been checking my phone every 5 minutes since I got home, like a fucking teenager. I hate this.

I ignore the bad gut feeling and lay on the couch to relax a bit. As I turn the TV on, the doorbell rings. I jump up so fast that I might as well have flown at the door.

"Finally! And you better have a very good excuse--" my voice dies down as I finally open the door.

Because it's not Harvey on the other side; it's my father. "Hello Anastasia" he smiles, "Nice place you got here. From how much you always avoided Harvard, I never expected you to move to Boston" he speaks softly

"How did you even find this place?" I wonder

"Please, don't make the same mistake as Harvey did to underestimate me. It didn't turn out well for him" he reveals.

"What do you want here?" I ask

"I wanted us to have a chance to talk. Last time we saw each other, it was rocky..."

"Because you tried to use me as leverage with judge Atkins. And then you told her about the end of my engagement, resulting in her kicking me out of my old place"

"Harvey used you too. Yesterday, in fact. He brought up your relationship in his attempt to get a reaction out of me" he reveals, trying to turn me against him again.

I chuckle, "I know. He called me back and told me right after" I inform him.

His smile slightly twitches.

"So, if there isn't anything else you want, I gotta go to sleep. I am working very early tomorrow, on my real and very important job" I point out with the purpose of reminding him that I built a career despite his disapproval and sabotage.

"We all have important jobs, yet I chose to be here and share this moment of my victory"

"First of all, our jobs are not even comparable. You save money, I save lives" I remind him

"Do you complain like this to Harvey too?" he wonders

"No, because he knows better than to compare our professions. And he is actually very supportive of my career and choices. Imagine that..." I trail off.

"Anastasia--"

"I don't want to hear it. You really shouldn't have wasted time coming all the way here. Go celebrate with Sarah, she still has a father"

"I'm always going to be your dad, darling--"

"Absolutely not. I'm done giving out second chances. If you want a place in my life, earn it!"

"Did you tell Harvey the same? And did he earn you? Because every other woman that knows him considers him a walking red flag"

"Then it's a good thing that red suits me" I smile. "Stop worrying about me and Harvey. Actually, stop thinking about me in general. Let's go back to the way it was when you didn't give a shit about me. Because, God knows, I miss it right at this moment".

I close the door in his face and go back to the couch. My hands are shaking out of anger as I grab my phone from the coffee table and try Harvey's cell one more time. Of course, he does answer again.

I rush to the bedroom and I grab the packed overnight suitcase that I keep under my bed in case there is a big emergency at the hospital. I throw a jacket and some shoes on, and I leave the house.

•••

I landed in New York close to midnight. I went by Harvey's place, and used the key he had given me after no one answered the door. The penthouse was indeed empty. So, I left my suitcase there and went out again.

The firm is my last resort; then I'll call Donna who I know will be on my side for this.

I haven't been in the firm since... 14 years... The last time I was here, I remember sitting on Harvey's desk as he towered over me, debating whether he should kiss me or not. I still don't know how I didn't give in that day, but reading his words on how much he wanted me afterwards in that email was so worth it.

However, I'm scared of the bad memories flowing back once I step foot in there again. I hope they have done enough renovations in the last 14 years that it'll be nothing like I remember it to be.

I suck in a deep breath and go inside despite my anxiety like a big girl. I literally count the marble designs of the floor as I walk until I get to the elevators to distract myself. But there is no escaping these thoughts when I have to stand in an elevator for 50 floors.

I pull my phone out of my pocket and log into my old email address.

•••

Subject: I want you From: hrspecter@gordon.schmidt.vandyke.comTo: alhardman@nyu.bio.com

Yesterday we got interrupted during a... moment, and then I had to run to the DA and didn't get to see you again. So, I hope to make it up to you by picking up where we left off. You asked me why I like you and why you should give me a chance. Fair enough. I like a challenge.

To be honest, you make my life harder. And I mean that in every way possible. Keeping my hands to myself is so difficult. Focusing when you're around is nearly impossible. Not thinking about you IS impossible.

There is not a moment in my day that I don't think about you. Your unique hazel eyes are haunting my dreams. Every time I see you, everything gets magically better and more beautiful. A single glance from you can derail my entire train of thought. And don't even get me started on that smirk you do when you know you're right.

I can't not want you. I know it's wrong and I've tried not to but I failed, miserably. And you know I don't admit defeat EVER.

You are gorgeous, smart, and absolutely fearless. Your determination to follow your dreams despite the obstacles is inspirational. And you're also amazing in the field you want to avoid. You are going to be a great doctor one day, and I feel so lucky to have witnessed your greatness even if it was for a short time.

I really liked working and hanging out with you. You make me want more. More time, more conversations, more excuses to be near you. And that's not something I've felt ever. So, I would love to start seeing you after work hours as well, before I start running out of excuses. If you'd like that too, of course.

You can have all the time in the world to think about it before answering. No pressure... But I will jump out of the 50th floor if you take too long.

PS. I can be at your place within 10 minutes of your reply*wink*

Harvey Specter,Associate, Gordon Schmidt VanDyke

•••

My heartrate has dropped back to normal by the time I finish reading this.

The elevator dings.

"I hope you have a good excuse for this one too" I whisper as I put the phone away and the doors open.

The place is literally empty. Harvey has mentioned that he has a corner office, so I go around to check these offices first. Surprisingly, I don't see his name on any of them.

I go around one more time to make sure and check every single one this time.

"...no security cameras and no locks at the doors" I recognize his voice immediately in the distance

"Ok, fine. But how did he get the document in the first place?" another male voice replies

"Hardman brought Costal Motors into the firm".

I remember he told me that he was getting sued for hiding evidence on a car accident case from 4 years ago where he was representing Coastal Motors. And last week he told me that the lawsuit was dropped. So, why are they still looking into it?

"Hardman wasn't here when the case went to trial and CM was your client"

"Not the trial, the defect. What's the date the first engineer left CM?" Harvey asks

"Here..."

"Yes. Hardman was still here, so he knew about the defect"

"How can you be sure?"

"Easy. An employee confronts the boss about the defect. The boss panics. And who's the first person he calls?" Harvey explains, his voice leading me to a file room

"His lawyer", I hear as I enter the room.

"Hardman tells him to bury it--"

"Where the hell have you been?!" I don't hesitate to cut him off.

"Ana! Welcome to the party!" he smiles like a child as he dumps the paper he was holding and walks up to me, "Welcome to New York!" he adds

And I immediately smell it, "Are you high?" I push him off me

"A little bit yes" he replies proudly

"A lot actually" the other guy corrects him.

"Oh my God..." I sigh and turn around to leave again.

"Ana, wait--" Harvey comes after me

"No. I came all the way here to make sure you're not angry with me and that we're ok, but you were clearly too busy getting stoned rather than answering your damn phone!" I raise my voice as I head to the elevator again.

"I wasn't-- Hardman won the vote" he tells me as he stands between me and the elevator.

"Yeah, I got that. And then I started worrying about you and wanted to check how you're handling it, but you never picked up the phone. Originally, I was going to give you the day to relax. Until my father showed up at my door--" I tell him

"What?!"

"And I decided that I'm not going to let him ruin it for me again. I won't allow you to blame me for his actions and push me away" I insist, getting more frustrated with each word

"No, no, Ana. I'm not pushing you away" he reassures me. "No, sugar..." he steps forward to wrap his arms around me but I step back.

"Ok..." he sighs, "Well, I'm mad. It hasn't been 24 hours since Hardman took over but he's already making moves. Louis has been going around all day acting like a spoiled kid who's dad runs the place. So I've spent all day trying not to lose it on them and give them a reason to get rid of me" he explains.

"At first, I didn't pick up the phone because I was afraid to admit to you that I lost to him" he continues, "Then he moved my office to the 46th floor, and I had to tolerate Louis, so I was scared that my anger would boil over eventually and come out on the first person I talked from outside of here".

"Is that why you're high?" I assume

"Yes. In addition, to some family issues of Mike's" he mentions. "I truly didn't mean to worry you, Ana. I just needed a day"

"And you couldn't text me to let me know? I wouldn't have bothered you if I knew" I point out

"I really needed to relax"

"I needed to relax too, instead I'm in New York, tired, sleepless, and my next shift starts in 6 hours. Because you cut me off to relax"

"You're right, I didn't handle this correctly. I was just really over my head today, Ana. I'm really sorry. I will make this up to you"

"How?" I cross my arms

"Call in sick to work, and I will show you" he smiles softly

"What if I prefer to hang out with Daphne instead of you?" I suggest

"Daphne has you every day, I don't. And since you came all the way here, stay for a couple of days and let me help you relax" he suggests

"Harvey, I swear to God, if you offer me a joint, I'm leaving" I warn him

"I'm not going to anymore" he says

I roll my eyes.

"How about we start by going at my place--" he starts

"What were saying about my father back in the file room?" I cut him off

He takes a moment, "It's not the time for this--" he says eventually

"Tell me" I insist.

"Remember the CM memo that I was accused of hiding and sued?" he asks

"Yes"

"I think he might had buried it when the defect really showed up, and planted it back in the files now to pin it on me and kick me out" he explains

"And you came to this conclusion while you were high?" I remind him

"Yes, but it's a valid one" he insists.

"Do you think he wants to kick you out that much that he would do something like this?" I wonder

"Let's see; 14 years ago I helped his daughter skip Harvard, 5 years ago I kicked him out of the firm using his dying wife as leverage, 3 months ago I threatened him at her funeral, 2.5 months ago I started dating the most amazing woman I've ever met which happens to be his daughter and I've been using it to piss him off since day 1" he lists

"You're right, he definitely wants you out" I admit.

I sit back and let out a long breath, "You know, I didn't mean it when I told you that I hoped he would back and crash you"

"I hoped you didn't" he chuckles, "You were angry about his cheating and misplaced it on me, blaming me for not telling you. Which is exactly what I was worried I would do today if I called you" he points out.

"Ok, fine. You're forgiven" I give in.

He smiles and pulls me.

"You really need a shower" I chuckle, not breathing in much until he lets go

"You've never smoked weed before?" he asks, surprised

"Never"

"You're missing out"

"I'm sure" I reply ironically.

"You guys made up!" the other guy I assume is Mike jumps from behind a corner

"Were you listening in this whole time?" I ask

"For most of it. If it didn't go well, Harvey would be even more grumpy every day" he answers.

"Ana, this is Mike. Mike, this is Dr. Anastasia Morgan, MD" Harvey introduces us

Whole title, good boy.

"Adriana Lima for real" Mike says

"What was that?"

"Nothing" Harvey cuts him off, "We were going home" he says, taking my hand

"Alone? You brought me here, dude" Mike reminds him

"I pay you enough to have money for a cab"

"What about Hard--"

"We'll discuss a game plan with Jessica tomorrow" he insists.

"You told me to take a day off tomorrow and spend it with you" I remind him

"We'll do it-- I'll come to talk with Jessica in the morning and then I'll be right back. You won't even know I'm gone" he promises

"Alright. But I want to know everything about it afterwards, to prepare myself for whatever his reaction will be"

"Ok, done".