Chapter 26 - Anastasia

I never clock out early from work. But I did today, because Harvey is coming over and I need to talk to him. I have been so stressed about moving, I need to tell him already and get it over with.

As I waited for his flight to land, I prepared dinner. But I burned it, so I ordered take out and plated it just before he came. I have many talents, however cooking is not one of them.

I hear the doorbell as soon as I set the last plate on the table. I toss the apron away and run to the door. Harvey kisses me before I can even get a word out. I smile against his lips as I wrap my arms around him and kiss him back. The familiar tingle runs over my spine. My heart feels like it's going to explode out of my chest. I love seeing how much he wants me. That thought is making me even more confident in my decision to move.

I take a deep breath, breathing him in before we pull away.

"I missed you" he tells me

"I missed you too" I reply and he pecks my lips again.

Then he looks around for a moment. "What's that smell? Is something burning?" he looks towards the kitchen

"No, I cooked" I answer

"That's why it's smells like burning" he replies

"Hey" I smack his arm

"I'm just kidding" he kisses me. "What did you make?"

"Lasagna..." I answer

"Wow".

He continues to look at me, like he knows there is more to the story. He reads me like an open book.

"Fine. I burned them so I ordered some from Rossi's. But I made the salad" I confess

"Amazing. Thank you for taking the time to try and prepare everything"

Thank you for taking the time...

"Of course" I smile. "Are you hungry?" I ask

"Starving, but let me see you a bit" he kisses me again

"Trust me, you'll have plenty of time to see me" I chuckle as he kisses my neck

"But it's never enough" he insists.

"Come on, the food will get cold" I remind him

"We'll reheat it"

"And I need us to talk" I finally drop the bomb.

Harvey stops. "Oh, no. We're already in that phase?" he assumes

"No, no. I promise it's a good thing, I think".

He pauses and takes a breath. Stressed, his eyes drop to my stomach for a moment.

"I'm not pregnant!"

"Good" he finally breathes out. "I mean not good. Or yes. I'm not saying--" he stops himself before he makes it worse. "Let's just sit down and eat" he finally says.

I chuckle and follow him. He pulls out the chair for me and sits last. He always does this wherever we are; bar, restaurant, hotel, home. He also always waits for me to start eating first, in case I don't like what I'm having, so we can either switch or he can order me something else for me. He always takes lead, allowing me to turn my mind off and really relax around him, because I know whatever it is he'll take care of it.

We eat for a bit while I let him tell me how his week went, mentioning a lawsuit he has against him at the moment. Apparently, they're accusing him of hiding things from a case he won a few years ago. But he claims they went through every box in the file room and didn't find the document he supposedly didn't put into discovery.

"By the way, I found you a couple of apartment close by that we should check out later" he suggests

"That won't be necessary" I reply, putting my utensils down

"Why? Did you find one already? I told you not to worry about it"

"No, it's not that. Not exactly. After our talk last week, I started thinking about what you said. And you were right. I need to stop focusing on the wrong reasons; reasons we shouldn't be together. So I'm starting by creating a right one. I am not moving apartments. I'm moving states" I reveal

He freezes. "Wh-- where to?" he asks, keeping himself contained and waiting anxiously for my answer

"Boston"

"Really?" he smiles

"Yes. I want to be closer to you, but I am not ready for New York or be too close and give Daniel too much access already" I admit.

"Wait, when did you decide that?"

"A few days ago. To be honest, I haven't thought too much about it. I'm just following what I feel right. And in this moment, I feel right when I'm with you" I confess. "I may sabotage myself because I have trust issues, daddy issues, ex issues; all the issues. But I want you in my life, Harvey. And I don't mean just weekends. I might not have figured out what I feel 100% yet, but I know what I need. I know that I feel comfortable and safe when you're around. I know that I miss you when you're gone. I know that I can't wait to see you. I know that everything gets so much better when you're here with me. I know that you have the ability to make me laugh and forget about the world when I need it the most. So I choose to take a leap of faith, believe in us and our chemistry. Because I fucking want you and need you more than anything!"

Saying all that out loud, finally makes me realize. I'm so stupid, aren't I? Mark was right, maybe I needed a new set of eyes instead of tits since I couldn't see what's been in front of me all this time.

"I love you, Harvey".

He looks at me with glossy eyes. But he doesn't say anything. Immediately, I start getting anxious that he didn't like what he heard.

"Look, I know you'd want me to be in New York. But I can't do that yet. New York still holds too many bad memories for me. Boston is something temporary; maybe a couple of months until we figure out where this relationship is going and I built the courage to visit you for once. And if you think about it Boston is not that far away from New York, it's only--".

He doesn't let me finish my sentence. Instead, he gets up from his seat, walks over to me and pulls me in his arms. He hugs me so tightly, lifting my feet off the ground.

"You're really doing this?" he asks as he puts me down with the biggest smile I've ever seen on his face

"Yes" my grin matches his

"How? Did they offer you a job there or something?" he assumes

"No. I decided to move, and then started sending resumes and offers in the area. Sloan has some connections in the surrounding states that he will reach out to recommend me. And I believe I'll have a positive answer by next week" I explain

He holds my face, rubbing my cheeks. "You're moving across the country" he repeats, probably to help himself believe it

"For you, and for us" I smile

"I don't know how to match that"

"Just keep doing what you're doing. It's working" I reassure him.

"I fucking love you" he hugs me again, "I won't make you regret it"

"I know. And I love you too".