Chapter 18 - Anastasia

I wake up slowly, and somewhere between sleep and reality, I feel warm and relaxed; which is startling. I don't wake up like this. I wake up exhausted, tense and thinking about what I have to do in the day before my eyes even open. But right now, I'm just... here. Warm. Rested.

Last night floods back in my mind; how I went to Harvey, heart pounding, hornier than ever. And he didn't disappoint. But I know you're not supposed to fall asleep with your rebound. To be fair, we were up until 3am. I left the hotel around 4am, then he came to me at 5am. And last time I checked the clock, it showed 6:20-something and I was too sore to move from where I was laying on the couch; and more specifically Harvey's chest.

His arm is still wrapped around my waist, holding me close to him. His body feels solid and steady against me. His breathing is slow, completely at ease. The weight of his presence should feel suffocating. It should make me want to pull away. But it doesn't.

A part of me wonders if I reached for him in my sleep without even realizing it or if he held onto me purposefully. I let my fingers curl into the fabric of his shirt, feeling the slow rise and fall of his chest beneath my touch. I take a deep breath of his musky sent and relax even more.

I open my eyes. Soft morning light filters through the curtains and lands on my face. I tilt my head up slightly to avoid the sunlight and take a moment to look at Harvey's face. He looks different in sleep; softer, unguarded, less cocky and annoying. It's rare to see him like this, without the usual smirk across his face.

I should move. I should get up, put my walls back in place, remind myself that this is just a rebound and go back to my everyday life. But I don't. Because I'm exhausted and this is the best I've felt in a long time. So, I close my eyes again and press my forehead lightly against his chest.

Harvey moves slightly, "Morning" his voice rough with sleep but gentle

"Good morning" I reply.

"What time is it?" he wonders

"I have no idea" I answer.

Neither of us moves, but I feel the movement of his cheek as he smiles satisfied. I keep my hand on his chest and rub slightly. He kisses my head and then rests his cheek on the same spot.

"How are you feeling?" he asks

"Like I need a day off" I admit. "What about you?"

"I slept like a baby"

"No" I chuckle, "I mean you don't have to go anywhere?" I ask, clearly referring to New York

"Donna has cleared my calendar for the rest of the week"

"Great..." I sigh.

"Don't sound so excited" he says ironically

"It's not that I'm not happy about it. I'm just... confused, if that makes sense?" I admit.

"That's ok. But you need to learn to be a little more spontaneous from now on. Take last night for example. For once, you didn't think or overthink it. And it was incredible" he says

He is right. I let myself just do something without thinking. I shouldn't have gone to him, but I did. I kissed him, I propositioned myself, begged him to fuck me, and it was incredible. I can still feel him all over me.

So, I make another rushed decision. "I think I'm going to call in sick today" I say

"In that case, we can stay like this for a little while longer" he reassures me, rubbing my back.

There is a pause for a moment. The room is quiet, except for the slow, steady rhythm of breathing.

"Sloan is never going to let me hear the end of it" I chuckle to myself

"It's not nice to mention a guy's name other than the one you're currently in bed with, sugar" he says

"First of all, he's the reason I got in bed with you. And second, I'm not in bed with you anymore, I'm just resting on the couch... with you" I correct him

"Tell that to your hand that's felt all around my chest and it's moving dangerously downwards" he lies

"Don't ruin the moment" I smack his chest, and he laughs.

I look up and meet his eyes. He's smiling like a child. I bite my lip but it isn't enough to prevent me from smiling as well. The silence between us is comfortable.

Harvey watches me, his gaze soft but searching, like he's waiting to see if I'll look or pull away. His arm is still around me, his warmth still pressed against my side.

He raises his free hand and his fingertips brush against my cheek gently. My breath catches, but I don't move away. He is steady and patient, like he's giving me time and space to decide.

But suddenly, I don't want to decide. I don't want control anymore. I need turn my mind off and let someone else tell me what to do.

Harvey leans in slowly until he meets my mouth. His lips move against mine, slow, careful, unhurried, like he's memorizing the feel of me. And for the first time, I don't feel the need to rush either. It is so different than last time; there is no desperation, no urgency. Just us.

I let myself sink into it, into him, my fingers slipping into his hair, his hand tightening at my waist. And just like that, the rest of the world fades away for a moment.

His tongue caresses mine just as gently right before he retracts from my mouth. He licks his lips and smiles as he looks at me. My heart flutters again.

"We should go out tonight" he suggests, doesn't ask.

I like that he makes the decisions, so I don't have to think about anything.

"We have a lot of things to catch up to" he adds.

"Yes, we do" I agree.