Chapter 023

      Nobody ever warns you of the fear you feel once you've given birth, when the baby is no longer protected inside of you. The anxieties that motherhood brings feels suffocating, especially in the world that we live in today. All you want is for the baby to survive past infancy, into toddlerhood, childhood, the teenaged years - all of it. You want them to succeed in life, push forward and do all of the things you never got the chance to do.

      You want them to be successful in life from their education to the relationships they find themselves in. And in this world, you want them to be successful in surviving, beating this world even if that means you're no longer apart of it. I will do anything and everything it takes to make sure my daughter lives to see another day. Even if that means I lose my life in the process, I'd be fine with that.

      Looking down at the one day old baby in my arms, wrapped firmly in T-Dog's flannel, she lays asleep. Her lips occasionally puckered as she lets out a soft coo, one I'd never be able to hear. In her tiny little mind, she felt safe and loved despite the hardships that is happening around her. Snuggling her closer, if possible, I wince as I take another step out of the closet.

      T-Dog had given Thalia and I time to settle, to clean ourselves up the best we could, before we had to move on. Twenty-four hours after giving birth isn't ideal on my end, due to the aches and pains I'm experiencing - but we need to get back to the others. Daryl needs to meet his daughter, Sophia needs to meet her sister and I need to have a check in with Hershel to make sure that I'm not gonna die. And they all need to know what happened to Carol, the woman who gave her life to save mine.

      T-Dog rests a hand on my shoulder as he helps me walk through the tombs, occasionally apologizing for making us leave so soon. Each time I dismissed him, knowing that we needed to leave for the sake of survival - plus Thalia needs a diaper that isn't a rag tied together and clothes. And I needed to change out of the clothes I am in, which reeks of sweat, blood, tears and childbirth. I'm sure that T-Dog will want his flannel back too, seeing as it's one of the only things he owns.

      Turning a corner, we come to a stop as we spot two walkers lingering in the hall. T-Dog orders for me to stay, before he swings the rifle onto his shoulder and pulls out his knife. Shielding Thalia away from the walkers, I watch as the man kills them with ease - kicking them down before stabbing them in the head. Giving the man an appreciative smile, he motions for me to continue walking.

      Stepping over the walkers with the help of T-Dog, the three of us continue to make our way through the tombs. Neither of us knew which way we were headed, either further away from cell block C or closer to it. We hadn't been on this side of the prison yet clearly, as there is enough walkers to take out the military. Thankfully, after the herd that came after us yesterday, we hadn't seen much walkers aside from the occasional few that were mindlessly roaming.

      Often times we'll find them slumped against walls and T-Dog would stab them before they even stood up, keeping them from sneakily trying to kill us. Other times they were just standing, not moving as if they were waiting. When we spotted them, he'd kill them with no issue, leaving them lifeless on the floor before we moved on. It was on repeat; walk, stop, kill, walk some more.

      The only thing you could hear according to T-Dog was the moans of the dead before their bodies collapsed to the floor, creating a loud thud before hearing the occasional coo from Thalia. She continues to sleep peacefully in my arms, her belly still full from me feeding her before we had left the closet. Every so often, T-Dog will glance over his shoulders to make sure we were still behind him that way we weren't separated again. He will also make sure we were being followed by any walkers, much less a herd.

      "Do you think we're close?" I ask as we near the hour mark of roaming the tombs. We had came to a stop, allowing me to rest up a bit as the postpartum pains raged through me. I am pushing my body more than it needs right now, we all knew it - but we know we needed to get back to the others fast. "I hope so," T-Dog admits as he looks around the tomb, keeping his eyes peeled for any threats. "We've been missing for a day and a half now. So I know they're looking for us."

      "Daryl is probably losing his mind. He always does if I'm gone for more than an hour."

      "If you even looked at him the wrong way, he lost his mind." T-Dog states as a smile forms on his lips, a chuckle pushing past them with ease. His shoulders seem to relax a bit at our small talk, as he motions for us to get moving again. Situating Thalia in my arms better, pushing myself off the wall, I begin following after T-Dog once more. "They're definitely looking for us," I say as I match the man's pace with difficulty. "I wonder if they found her body yet."

      "From what you told me, I don't think there'd be much of a body to find," T-Dog explains as we continue to walk through the tombs. His hands rested on the rifle, preparing to use it if another herd plows through. "Maybe her clothes if they didn't eat it too. Maybe her knife too."

      "I just don't know how I'm going to tell Sophia. That was her mom, her biological mother -"

      "Shh."

      T-Dog raises his hand to get me to stop, his eyes narrowing a bit as he listens in to whatever is making noise. Thalia starts to wiggle in my grasp causing me to look down at her as she begins to cry. Feeling rather panicked, not knowing what T-Dog is hearing, I begin to rock the baby. The man looks back at me before he signs footsteps, which makes me even more panicked.

      As T-Dog raises the rifle, I place my pinky in Thalia's mouth, allowing her to suck on it long enough to keep her quiet. He motions for me to press myself against the wall, him doing the same as he keeps the rifle raised. Rocking Thalia as she continues to suck on my pinky, hoping this is enough to keep her silent - I watch as T-Dog steps out of our hiding place. He raises his gun with ease, his eyes hard as he looks forward.

      His gaze falters, his gun lowering as he looks forward with shock and almost relief. Questioning his actions, I push myself from the wall and carefully round the corner. Following T-Dog's gaze, my eyes grow wide as I look ahead of us - a group of three, our members stood in front of us, their own guns lowering as they took in our bodies.Glenn, Maggie and Daryl stood in front of us, shocked and confusion plastered on their faces.

      "Daryl..." I felt my voice crack at the first usage of it, causing my throat to hurt for the first time today. The man looks as if he could break, his blue eyes locked on my face as if he thought I wasn't real. Wincing as I step forward a bit, T-Dog quickly steadies me once I lost balance. Daryl snaps out it once he saw that I was in pain, his body moving before a single thought entered his head.

      Daryl Dixon, my husband stands in front of me, his blue eyes traveling from my face to the baby in my arms. He hesitates for a moment, before he gently rubs his thumb over her cheeks, a ghost of a smile falling on his lips. He looks back up at me, tears finally falling down his cheeks as he pulls me close to him, careful to not squish our baby. "Daryl," I cry out as I bury my face into the cook of his neck, finally letting myself breathe for the first time in hours. "Daryl."

"I was so fucking scared."

"I'm so sorry, fuck. I'm sorry," Daryl finally speaks once he pulls away from me, cupping my face as he looks directly into my eyes. He plants a kiss on my forehead, the both of us crying at the sight of each other. "You're okay. You're okay. Shit, okay. You're okay."

He pulls away from me as our baby begins to wiggle once more, causing me to look down to see that she is crying again. Looking up toward Daryl once more, I smile as he stares down at his daughter, someone he has waited so long to meet. "Thalia Louise, why don't you meet your daddy." I say softly, or as softly as I hope, as I look down at my daughter. She wiggles some more as I carefully hand her to Daryl, him taking her with ease.

"We have a girl?" Daryl asks as he looks up from his daughter, a smile forming on his lips once more. I could only nod, before he looks down toward his daughter once again. Looking over his shoulder, I could see that Maggie and Glenn were leaned together, both smiling as Maggie seemed to cry a little at the sight of this reunion. Moving past Daryl as he continues to hold Thalia, I quickly wrap my arms around the two - their arms wrapping around me instantly.

      "Sophia?" I ask as we pull from the hug, my mind instantly going to her now that we've reunited. I notice that she didn't come with them and in my hopes, she was needed at the cell block more. "She's okay," Glenn assures as he rubs my shoulder in reassurance, a small smile on his face. "She held her own really well, kept Hershel and Beth safe."

      "Were you guys with Carol?" Maggie questions as she lets go of Glenn, a look of hurt flashing across her face. They saw the woman's body, I can tell from her reaction and it most likely didn't even look like a body when they did see it. Shifting uncomfortably as I remember the fate Carol had been giving, just for saving my life - I only nodded my head. "She was bit before we even got into the tombs," T-Dog explains, his hands still resting on the rifle in case he needed to use it on the walkers. "She got bit saving Katherine. I got separated from them in a herd deeper in that cell block."

       "I fought like hell to try and find them, killed a whole lot of walkers before I found a closet, figured I'd rest up there before going out again to find them," T-Dog explains, as Daryl seems to finally join in on the conversation. He carefully hands me Thalia who seems to be growing more fussy, causing me to lift my shirt a bit to feed her. "That was around the time I heard someone screaming, took off and found her right after her water broke. Carried her back to the closet and helped out the best I could."

      "Thank you for keeping them safe." Daryl says wholeheartedly, patting T-Dog on the shoulder as a form of appreciation. Rocking my body slightly as Thalia had latched on to my nipple, I pat her bottom slightly to keep her calm. "It wasn't all me, man," T-Dog dismisses as he shrugs his shoulders at Daryl's words. "Some of it was Carol and all of it was Katherine. She fought like hell, pregnant and having the baby."

"Look, I hate to break up the reunion and chitchat but we need to go. Walkers have been crawling around the tombs like crazy."

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After I had finished feeding Thalia, it didn't take long for Maggie to scoop her up. The young woman wasted no time in cooing at the baby, smiles forming on her face as she stares at the new life that was born. We had been walking for a while now, Daryl helping me along the way, and things are beginning to look familiar. There are arrows spray painted on the walls from their cafeteria run that cost Hershel his leg.

Glenn led the way, keeping Maggie and I in the middle as T-Dog took the rear while Daryl stayed by my side. I know he is scared to leave me, scared that I'd just slip away again. So I didn't try and push away, instead I held his hand and we continued to walk. Nobody really uttered a word, aside from Maggie's baby talk and the occasional coo from Thalia.

As we round a corner, the cell block's door comes into view, the gate being closed. Daryl tosses the keys to Glenn, who catches them with ease as he unlocks the door and ventures in, followed by Maggie and Thalia. Walking into the cell block's common area, I look around at the people inside. Before I could greet anyone, or take anyone's features in, I am suddenly tackled causing me to wince from the impact and the aftermath of having Thalia.

      Trying to ignore it as I saw a mop of dirty blonde hair, I wrap my arms around the teen and hold her close. Sophia Dixon cried in my chest, sobs tearing through her body as she holds me like I'm her lifeline. Crying myself, I run my fingers through my daughter's hair, trying to soothe her the best I can. Daryl carefully peels the young girl off of me, murmuring a few 'be careful's' as he did so.

      "There is someone you should meet," I sign as Sophia looks up at me, motioning for Maggie to come over with my second daughter. The oldest Dixon sibling looks between me and the bundle of joy in Maggie's arms, a smile forming on her face as she carefully takes the baby into her own. "Meet your sister. Miss Thalia Louise."

      "Hi, Thalia. I'm your big sister Sophia," The dirty blonde coos as she stares down at the baby, excited to finally meet the child that I grew for so long. She rocks her gently, rubbing her thumb across Thalia's bloody cheeks with ease. "I have so much to teach you and I can't wait to be able to show you the ropes of everything!"

      I look up from Sophia and Thalia, my gaze finally lingering on everyone inside of the common area. Carl sits at a table, a far off look in his eyes as he forces a smile at the little reunion. Axel and Oscar lean against the furthest wall from the cell block itself, their arms crossed as they take in everyone themselves. Hershel stands next to Beth, a look of relief and a smile on his face at the sight of me alive.

      Beth stood next to her father, a smile of her own as she cradles a baby too - one that doesn't look much older than Thalia. Scanning the room once more, I notice three people are missing; Rick, Lori and Carol, but I know what happened to Carol. "Lori.... where's Lori?" I ask, forcing myself to use my voice as I continue to try and find my friend in the not-so-crowded room. Was she in the cell blocks resting after having her baby?

      At the mention of her name, I watch Carl's reaction. His shoulders fell as he looks down, tears welling up in his eyes at the mere mention of his mother's name. Feeling as if someone sent an arrow through my chest, I look around at the others. She can't be dead, she just can't be - she has her children she needs to look for. And for the love of God, where is Rick?

      "She died having a c-section," Hershel finally answers as he uses his crutches to help him walk to me. He grew sad at the thought of Lori Grimes, a wonderful mother, a great friend but a questionable wife. "She was in the tombs with Maggie and Carl. She couldn't deliver naturally, Maggie had to preform the c-section and Carl put her down. She has a little girl."

      I look back toward the young boy, tears in my own eyes as I learned what he had to do. Wincing as I step forward, I reach out to the boy he stands to his own feet and runs toward me. He wraps his arms around my ribs, resting his head on my shoulders as he cries. Holding him close, I look back toward Hershel, noting that he is now checking on Thalia - presumably making sure she is healthy.

      "Carol didn't make it," I finally admit as I continue to hold Carl close, who lifts his head at my words. He tilts his head to look at Sophia, the girl who had froze in her spot as she looks at me. "She got bit before we even made it to the tombs protecting me. She died right before T found me, protecting me again and making sure I made it back here. If it wasn't for her, I don't think me or Thalia would be here."

      "Did we lose Rick too?"

      "No, he's somewhere in the tombs. He went AWAL once he learned of Lori's death." Glenn replies after a moment, his hands interlocking with Maggie who looks down at the ground. We lost two people in the herd, two people who didn't deserve the type of death they got. Carl lets go of me as he walks toward Sophia, moving T-Dog's flannel a bit to peer down at Thalia. Even in such dark moments, it seems the birth of these babies have brightened it just a tad.

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     "Well, looks like you and Thalia are healthy. Though, you are a bit dehydrated and malnourished, but we can fix that."

      Hershel Greene sits in front of me with a notebook in hand. He had finished examining every part of me, writing down all of his findings to keep track of data. The older man wanted to make sure that T-Dog and I did everything right when bringing Thalia into this world, and apparently we did. Watching as he shuts the notebook, I tilt my head to look at Daryl who cradles Thalia protectively.

      After she had been checked over, we were finally able to place her in a diaper and a pair of footie pajamas that Daryl had found on a run. She seems more content in those clothes than the flannel that T-Dog wrapped her up in. Hershel bids a silently goodbye as he places the notebook at the end of the bed. Once he walks out of the room, Daryl tilts his head to look at me, relief and happiness all in his features.

      "I'm sorry that I wasn't there." Daryl apologizes, clearly bothered by the fact he wasn't there to witness Thalia's birth. It had been something we both wanted, but given the circumstances at hand it just didn't happen. Interlocking our fingers as a smile forms on my lips, I place a small kiss on his lips. "You don't need to be sorry, Dare," I finally say, looking the man in his eyes before I stare down at our daughter. "We were separated, we had no control on what happened. But we're both fine, a little sore on my end. But that will pass."

      "I love you, sweetheart."

      "And I love you, Daryl."

____Word Count: 3,359

Welcome to chapter TWENTY THREE! Whoowee, this one was a longer type "filler" chapter. But I wanted to fit as much in as possible before we introduced Tyreese and Sasha's people, Michonne and the Governor and reconnect with Merle. Which is happening soon and I can't wait to get into that part of the prison era!

Also, somewhat of a fun fact about Katherine that I sorta mentioned in the last chapter —Miranda had put her in speech therapy as a child once she had realized Katherine was trying to read lips. She wanted Katherine to be able to put mouth movements to words, that way she didn't have to sign all of the time. So overtime Katherine was not only able to read lips, she was able to create noises for the words she wanted to say, which turned into actual words down the line. She more so chose to stay mute all this time because it did hurt her to talk from where she never uses her voice. —

Now while Katherine's first language is American Sign Language and will use it more often than not, I will be incorporating her using her voice throughout the book. It won't be as often as her using ASL, but it's more beneficial on her end if she is tending to Thalia. However she doesn't really know if she is being loud when she speaks, which she will eventually learn the more she talks how to tell via the vibrations in her throat (it is one of the ways I can tell if I'm talking too quiet or too loud when having a conversation).

Anyway.... back to the chapter at hand.

How do you think Sophia will react to Carol's death after the initial shock of learning about it? [keep in mind that while Carol did hand Sophia off to Katherine and Daryl to raise, Carol was still her biological mother. a woman who raised Sophia up until she ran from those walkers on the highway. so there is definitely mixed feelings for Sophia regarding Carol, but ultimately she did still care and love Carol - just not as a mother/daughter type of care and love]

Do you think that Thalia could potentially be deaf like Katherine as well? [katherine's birth defect is hereditary HOWEVER only .05% of babies really have it. she was just the unlucky .05% that had it at birth.]

I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!

Lots of Love, crimson rose