Chapter 019

      Gently cradling the lit candle in my palms, I allow my gaze to fall on the rather large windows of the vacant store. The storm rages outside, the wind tossing snow in all directions, making it very difficult to see. We have been stuck inside the store for a few hours now, having watched the sun set an hour ago. We were all tired, cold and scared for what waited for us beyond the walls but we decided to try and relax a bit.

      Glenn and Maggie remained in the loading dock with the kids as they slept, the two keeping watch incase someone tried to come into the store. Rick and T-Dog kept watch inside the main store, making sure nothing broke through the windows or the two doors set in place. Lori, Beth and Hershel are with Maggie and Glenn, as they were probably asleep themselves. Carol left herself in the employees locker, having wanted time to herself and we let it happen.

      Daryl sat against a register, his hands propped on his knees as he rotating an arrow between his hands. I mindlessly roamed the store, taking in the clothes and the decorations before I had made my way toward the windows. We had used the candles the store was selling for light, mixing the scents to give me a headache. Moving away from the window, I begin to walk toward Daryl.

      He notices me almost instantly as he places the arrow down next to him, before allowing his legs to dangle over the counter. Reaching him, I lift myself onto the counter to sit next to him, allowing my head to rest on his shoulder as I sit the candle down next to us. Letting a steady breath leave my lungs, I feel myself beginning to relax at his touch. Daryl places a kiss on the top of my head, before he interlocks our fingers.

      "I found this for you," Daryl says as he places a notepad on my lap, causing me to grab it with my free hand. He then places a pack of pencils on top of the notepad. "I figured you'd want to write than sign sometimes. I know you preferred to do that before everything went to shit."

      "Thank you." I sign before looking down at the notepad. It's very simple, a soft pink cover with thirty pages within it. A small smile forms on my face at the sight of it, knowing that I'd finally have somewhat private conversations again. Opening it to the first page, I begin to write down what I wanted to say.

i know we can't have the whole shaving when it comes to a wedding, but what would you call us now?fiancés? married? i know we don't like labels. but i want to know how i'd introduce myself.

Turning the notepad to face Daryl, I watch as he scans the words on the page. Watching as he looks in front of us, his eyes lingering on the floor for some time, a small smirk forms on his face. Dark circles were under his eyes, but I knew he didn't plan on sleeping tonight - much like any other night. But I knew, that didn't faze the answer that he'd give me.

"You're my wife. You're not Katherine Johnson anymore, and Sophia isn't a Pelletier anymore," Daryl signs after a moment of thinking of the right words to say. He looks back at me, his eyes full of love as he signed the words I wanted to hear. "You both are Dixon's. Through and through, no doubt about it."

"I like the sound of that," I reply as a smile forms on my face at his words. My eyes moving from his and down to my belly as our baby begins to move around. "And maybe we'll have a Thalia or Noah to add to this family."

"Maybe Noah Lee? Lee after Merle." Daryl suggests before he looks away, a sadness looming over him as he mentioned his dead brother. My heart aches at the mention of Merle, the man who'd be overjoyed at the thought of having a niece or nephew. He never wanted kids himself, but he always made jokes about when Daryl or I had our own, he'd spoil them beyond repair. I don't think he ever expected Daryl and I to be together, much less married and with a baby on the way while caring for our preteen daughter.

      "I like Noah Lee. I also like Thalia Louise, after our mothers," I sign after a moment, allowing us to grieve over Merle once more. My heart only aches more at the mere mention of our mothers, the two women who actually cared about us. "Thalia was my mom's middle name. She would have given me that name if it hadn't been for Samuel."

      "I think those are good names," Daryl admits as a small smile forms on his lips at the mention of our mothers. While we held fond memories of them, their deaths did haunt us in more ways than we'd like to admit. "Man, our moms would be fucking happy about this. They always joked 'bout how we'd end up together one day. I just don't think they'd expect us to have kids though."

      "I don't think they did either." I agreed, before I tucked away the notepad and pack of pencils. Resting my head against his shoulder once more, I allow a tear to fall from my eyes. I wish our mothers could see us now, seeing as their wish had came true. Daryl and I are together, married and creating our family.

      We have a daughter who is wonderful, they'd love her more than anything else in this world. And we have a baby on the way, who they'd love just the same. Merle would have learned to love Sophia too, seeing as he didn't really hate her when he did know her. In fact, he felt sorry for her seeing as the type of man her father had been.

      But he would have loved her as his niece, as we had taken her in and became her parents. He would have protected her and gave his life for her, that much we know. Oh, how I wish he was here, even with his rude and sexist remarks. I miss him just as much as I miss my mother and Louise.

><><><><

      Rubbing the sleep from my eyes as I lift myself into a sitting position, I look around the loading dock. Everyone else is beginning to wake up themselves, nobody really conversing as we just sat in silence. Pulling myself to a stand with the help of the rail next to me, I walk out of the loading dock and toward the store. Turning the corner, I walk past the Employee's Only door and toward the public restrooms.

      Entering the bathrooms, I am greeted with my reflection, which takes me by surprise. My hair was a mess, sticking out of the braid that I had brushed it in hours ago. My lips were dry and chapped due to the cold weather and my once tanned skin is growing pale. Dark circles and bags and formed under my hazel eyes, showing just how tired and malnourished I truly am.

      While my face, neck, chest, arms and legs showed weight-loss from not eating or taking care of myself properly; a visible bump rests underneath the pile of shirts and a jacket that I wore for warmth. Forcing myself to look away from my reflection, I pull my hair from a braid before using my fingers as a comb. Once I get most of the tangles out, I carefully put my hair up into another braid to keep it out of my face. After using the bathroom, I left it as I begin to walk toward the big windows to take a look outside.

      The sun shone through the windows, casting a warm glow against the snow covered ground outside. The snow seems to sparkle in the sunlight, slowly beginning to melt as the blizzard had seemed to come to an end. Walkers crowded the street, slowly roaming as they dragged themselves through the mound of snow. It seemed like the mix of snow and the cold of winter was freezing their bones, making it impossible for them to move and attack their next victim.

Feeling rather pleased by that, I begin to make my way toward the loading dock. Entering the area, everyone had finally got up and moving as they start gathering the supplies we've found in here. Walking over to Rick, as he lifts a basket, he tilts his head to look at me. "It looks like the walkers are moving slower with the cold weather and now on the ground," I sign, nearly shivering as the coldness of the loading dock sets in. "It should make it easier for us to get out of this town, travel back a few miles then go a little north to bypass this area."

"I noticed that too," Rick replies, nodding in agreement with the information provided about the walkers. He stacks another basket on top of the one he already carries with ease. "Macon is a little north from here. We'll cut through there to bypass this herd."

"Macon isn't a good idea," I state, feeing rather panicked at the idea of traveling to Macon. It's been so long since we resided there and getting out of there was hell. "Daryl and I came from there before we reached the Quarry, Glenn too. There are walkers all over it, probably more now than then."

"What about the smaller town between here and Macon? Any idea about that?" Rick asks as he hands the baskets to T-Dog, who walks them over to the garage door. We were preparing to leave and we just needed everything gathered together. Pointing toward the map, he unfolds it as he begins to travel the roads with his finger to pinpoint where we are. "Right now, we're in Perry. Macon is a good forty-five minutes from here, longer if we avoid the highway. There is Fort Valley and Bryon between us and Macon."

      "We want to avoid Fort Valley and Bryon, they are cities and walkers will be all over those areas," I explain before marking X's over those cities to make sure we never entered them. Rick nods, as he continues to watch my hands. "There is a little spot between Fort Valley and Bryon, a little distance away from both cities. We could rest there, loot what we can and move on, find shelter."

      Circling Bible Camp road, Mosley Road and Matthew Store road on the map, I place question marks in the housing area just outside of the circle. Handing the marker back to Rick, he begins to study the map before nodding at my suggestion. "All right, everyone gather around for a second." Rick orders as he gains everyone's attention.

      "We're going to double back a bit and drive toward Macon, but branch off between Fort Valley and Bryon," Rick informs as he looks at everyone, rubbing the stubble on his chin. We all listened, not daring to speak up as we trusted Rick and Rick trusted me. "There we will regroup, loot the area, then move on. Put distance between these hordes."

Everyone nods in understanding, before moving away to finish up what needs to be done. Tilting my head toward Sophia, she walks over to me with worry and embarrassment plastered on her face. Growing concern, I place a hand on her shoulder to gain her attention. "Are you okay?" I ask as she looks up at me with tears in her eyes.

"I.... I don't know," Sophia admits as she stumbles over her own words, her embarrassment growing more by the second. Raising a brow, I allow her to continue as she tries to find the right words to say. "Right here hurts. And.... and I have blood in my underwear. I don't think that's suppose to happen."

My body grows still at her words, my eyes growing wide as I realize what she is mentioning. Had Carol not explained womanhood to Sophia? Did Sophia not understand what her body will be and is currently doing? "Oh, Sophia," I say, a small smile forming on my lips. "There is nothing wrong. You're just entering womanhood, we all go through it. Here, follow me."

Grabbing my bag off of the floor, I motion for her to follow after me as I lead her out of the loading dock. Walking further into the store, I turn the corner and begin walking into the bathroom. Putting down my bag, I ruffle through it before finding what is needed; pads. "Here, take these," I sign before handing her the half full box of pads. "You're going to place this in your underwear and wrap the wings, the sticky part over the fabric of your underwear so it stays in place."

"You'll do this routinely until the blood stops. Change frequently to avoid UTI's and toxic blood syndrome," I continue to explain as I take a pad and open it up, demonstrating how to put them onto one's underwear. She nods in understanding as she takes the pad from me. "Now I want you to understand something. This means you've gotta be careful around boys. Did Carol ever talk to you about sex?"

"No, but I know about it from my friends at school. They always talked about it." Sophia replies shyly as she looks down at the pad in her hands. Nodding at her words, I begin to walk out of the bathroom so she could situate herself. Closing the door behind me, I lean against the wall next to it just as Daryl rounds the corner from the loading dock. "Everything okay?" He questions as he walks over and stands next to me.

"Sophia got her period. And Carol never spoke to her about it, so I had to." I answer truthfully before silence fell upon us. He only nodded, unsure on how to respond to something like that so he stayed quiet. Watching as he leans against the wall himself, I mean my head against his shoulder as we waited for Sophia to leave the bathroom. Interlocking our hands, I tilt my head toward the bathroom just as the door opens.

"All set?"

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      Following the caravan down Bible Camp Road, we make a swift turn down a driveway close by the intersection of Bible Camp Road and Mosley Road. We wanted to be a decent walk away from the stream of homes and pop-up stores in the smaller town of Bryon, in case of any big hordes. Stepping out of the truck, I pull my jacket close to me as a shiver runs through me. Lori, Carol, Beth, Hershel and the kids stayed close to the cars as Rick, Daryl, T-Dog, Glenn and Maggie make their way toward the house.

It has been this way since the farm fell, some of us stayed by the cars, while the other half went and searched the house to deem it safe. I stayed somewhere in the middle to keep watch of both groups. Besides, being cramped in a truck for a long while makes one want to stretch their legs. Stepping onto the porch of the rather large home, I watch as Rick and Daryl enter it first, followed by T-Dog and Maggie, then Glenn.

Leaning against the siding of the house, right next to the front door, I tilt my head to look at the others. Carl and Sophia sat in the Volkswagen with Millie, the two engaged in a conversation while the dog most likely slept. Lori remained close to the vehicle with Beth next to her, the two making sure the kids remained safe. Hershel wasn't too far from Beth and Lori, as he leans against the SUV with his own pistol out.

Carol stood next to Hershel, her eyes locked on the shed just out back of the home. Almost as if she was searching, waiting for something to come out of it. And I don't blame her, there was always something hiding somewhere. Not long after they had gone inside, I tilt my head toward the door as Glenn pokes his head out toward me.

He nods his head, indicating that it is clear for the rest of us to venture inside. Turning to look toward the others, I notice that Hershel is looking in our direction, causing me to give a curt nod to him. The older man returns it before he starts to gather the others, leading them toward the house without hesitation. Walking into the house myself, I take in the sight of the home.

It was tidy and well kept, unlike any home that I had lived in other than Hershel's. Yet a layer of dust settled on everything from the lack of cleaning. Pictures of the previous owners hung on the walls, decorating with space with warmth and love. Even in the end of the world, the home remained intact, untouched even.

Rick was standing in front of the fireplace that resided in the dining area, that is attached to the living space. I could see that he is trying to start a fire in hopes for some warmth. Daryl doesn't stand too far away from him, looking out the window toward the same shed that Carol had been eyeing outside. I know that he is wanting to search it too for extra safety.

T-Dog is in the kitchen raiding the cabinets in hopes to find something, while Glenn and Maggie had ventured upstairs. As the others entered, Carl and Sophia had been quick to make their way upstairs, saying something about wanting to find comic books. Millie followed after them, almost seeming excited to search the temporary home. Walking over to Daryl, I place a hand on his arm gently, causing him to look down at me.

      "Hey, sweetheart." Daryl greets with a smile as he wraps an arm over my shoulders. He pulls me into him, allowing me to rest my head against his chest as he places a soft kiss on my forehead. "When you go on the run, take Sophia with you," I sign once we pull apart which causes Daryl to raise a brow. "I want you to show her the ropes of going on one. Rick plans on taking Carl on this one, since it's smaller than the others."

      "She'll be safe with you. I trust you on this one," I continue, attempting to ease the worry that plagues his mind at the mere thought of taking Sophia with him. I know Rick has the same thoughts when it comes to Carl and he had a heated discussion with Lori about it, before they agreed it was time. "She's ready for this. It's time for her to learn more about looting and getting in and out silently, without alerting people or walkers."

      "Okay. I'll take her."

____Word Count: 3,196

Welcome back to Chapter 19! Again, it's another filler but I need to show some winter-type chapters before we hit up the prison.

What are your thoughts so far?

Lots of Love, Crimson Rose