Chapter 003

All of your life people try to prepare you for the world that you'll take over, the world that was left in your hands. But what they fail to do is prepare you for the amount of pain you'll feel when you lose someone. They fail to warn you that the world will take someone from you too soon, sooner than anyone truly realizes. They even fail to give you proper coping mechanisms that won't ruin you in the long run. This pain of losing someone so important is unbearable, is torture some might even say.

Nobody tries to talk to you about the grieving process one goes through after they lose a parent, a grandparent, a sibling, or even a friend. You just have to go through it by yourself, with the very few people that actually care about you by your side. Merle Dixon, a man full of snide comments, racial slurs, and sexual remarks, was a man that protected his little brother and me at all cost. Despite his troubles in a world that seemed to hate him, he always tried to put his little brother and me first; even if it resulted in spending some time behind bars. It was him who had raised us after our mothers had met their tragic fates, it was him who had raised Daryl and me to be better than the man he was created to be.

Although he resorted to drugs and alcohol to tame the demons that roamed free in his mind, he was still so kind to what was left of his family. He has done everything in his power to make sure Daryl and I never went without, even if he had gone without. Merle may not have been the best person to hang around or to be friends with, but he did have a good heart beneath the remarks that spilled from his mouth. Forcing myself to look away from the pool of blood and a severed hand, I look toward the youngest Dixon brother. His sandy brown hair rests on his head messily and unwashed, as his stormy blue eyes are full of emotion.

I hadn't been the only one who lost Merle Dixon, for his own brother did too, his own flesh and blood. If it weren't for our mothers and fathers, the three of us probably wouldn't have even known each other and became this close. Wiping my bloody hands onto my jeans, I shakily stand up so I can try to comfort my best friend. I may be hurting, but my pain doesn't matter when it comes to a brother grieving over the loss of his only sibling. Before I can even reach Daryl, he is quick to pick up his crossbow he had dropped and spin on his heels; pointing it directly at T-Dog's head.

"I won't hesitate," Rick snaps, his oceanic blue eyes glaring daggers into the back of Daryl's skull. The former sheriff is standing there, pointing a Python at my best friend. "I don't care if every walker in the city hears it." Standing there frozen, unsure of what I should do to break up the tension, I continue to stare at the three men. Daryl glances over at me, his stormy blue eyes searching for anything that could make him feel better. After a few minutes, the man moves away from T-Dog as he lowers his crossbow; finally giving in to Rick.

"You got a do-rag or something," Daryl asks, as he finally looks over toward the ebony man. I watch as T-Dog pulls one from his pocket before he quickly hands it to the grieving redneck. Once my best friend takes the rag, he walks over to Merle's severed hand and picks it up with ease. Fighting back the urge to vomit, I look over at Glenn as he turns his back to Daryl. "I guess the saw blade was too dull for the handcuffs. Ain't that a bitch. He must have used a tourniquet.... maybe his belt. Be much more blood if he didn't."

Forcing myself to look elsewhere that doesn't involve the decaying head and the pool of blood, I instantly spot something else on the roof. Paying no mind to the others, I walk over to the weird spots and kneel down to take a better look at them. Noticing that the droplets are red, I shakily touch it before I pull my hands back to inspect it. Blood, this is a trail of blood; Merle's blood. Standing back up straight, I look over toward Daryl as I slap my hands together.

Thankfully I clapped my hands together enough to make some sort of sound, which causes the others to look over at me worriedly. Motioning for Daryl to come to take a look at the trail of blood, I watch as he walks over to me instantly. "This is blood," I inform after Daryl had knelt down to look at the red spots. He looks over at me with a proud look in his eyes. "It could be Merle's blood. He could be passed out somewhere, he could be alive."

"Good catch, Kathy." Daryl mutters as he places a hand on the lower part of my back. He gently nudges me forward, before the two of us start to follow the blood trail back to where we came from. Reaching the door, I pull it open before entering to be greeted with the stairs once more. I am beyond glad that I spent my days hunting and doing 'manly work', instead of being like the other women back at camp. "Merle? You in here?" My best friend shouts, almost hoping to find any sign of his big brother.

Once the five of us make it down the stairs to enter the department store, Daryl was quick to take the lead as he follows the trail of blood. Following after him from behind, I scan our surroundings for any pending threat that could take one of our lives. It takes every ounce to restrain myself from grabbing Daryl's hand so I could feel protected, instead I just keep walking. The trail of blood leads us through a few twists and turns down a dark corridor before we reach the back of the department store - the sliding doors being wide open. "This is where we escaped." T-Dog mentions as he motions toward the sliding doors.

"He must have gone through here too. The trail of blood goes this way." I inform before I point down the alley that leads to another building. The others nod as if they understood my words, before Daryl and I start to lead the way. Grabbing my bow from my shoulders, I quickly quip it with an arrow as we near closer to the unknown building. Once we reach the door that leads to it, Daryl looks over at me and gives a curt nod before swinging it open with ease. Entering the building quickly, I aim my bow in every direction to ensure our safety.

Upon entering what seems to be an office building, Daryl and I see two lone walkers within the room. Not wasting a second, I line my arrow with one of the walkers' heads before I draw back the string. Releasing the string from my grasp, I watch as my arrow flies through the air before it embeds itself into the walkers' skull. I smile in satisfaction once the walker falls to the floor lifelessly, indicating that I did a good job. Jogging up to the now lifeless walker, I grip the end of my arrow before I pull it out causing blood to nearly spraying everywhere.

Not minding the blood, I quickly wipe my arrow off on my pants before I quip it back into my quiver. Turning to face the others, I notice that Daryl is looking at two dead walkers that we hadn't killed. Knitting my brows together, I walk up to the youngest Dixon as I gently pat his arms to gain his attention. "Merle?" I sign, questioning if the oldest Dixon brother had killed these two walkers. Daryl looks back down at the walkers, shrugging his shoulders as if he didn't know.

"Had enough in him to take out these two sumbitches. One-handed," Daryl informs after a moment, pointing to the two dead walkers. He then turns on his heels as he ventures further into the office, me following after him. "Toughest asshole I ever met, my brother, besides Katherine. Feed him a hammer, he'd crap out nails." Scrunching my face up at his words, I shake my head a bit. I never once heard Daryl talk like that about his brother, so this is a bit uncomfortable for all of us. "Any man can pass out from blood loss, no matter how tough he is." Rick states, which causes me to roll my eyes at the man.

"Don't be such a sour wolf, Ranger Rick," I snap bitterly, as we all venture further into the office. Watching as the former sheriff raises a brow at my words, I roll my eyes once more. "Have some damn faith in Merle, for God's sake. He's Daryl's brother and my friend." Once we reach another door, I am quick to pull it open before raising my bow in a threatening manner. Aiming in all directions, I slowly walk further into the room as it appears to be another office. What type of building is this?

"Merle!" Daryl shouts as he storms into the room without any worry for what might be in here. Lowering my bow and arrow, I narrow my eyes at the youngest Dixon brother just as Rick steps in front of him. Just by the look, Daryl is giving the former sheriff, I can tell he doesn't like the fact he stepped in his way. "We're not alone here. Remember?" Rick questions, his oceanic blue eyes staring at Daryl's stormy blue ones. Clutching my bow in my hand, as well as the arrow and string, I watch the two closely.

"Screw that," Daryl dismisses, as he throws his hands around rather quickly. Flinching at his action, I step back a bit as he seems to be growing more frustrated. "He could be bleeding out. You said so yourself." Rolling my eyes at the two bickerings, I am suddenly greeted with a horrible stench. Scrunching my face up in disgust, I turn on my heels as I begin to walk toward it. Entering what seems to be a kitchen, I instantly look over toward a stove to see that the burners were on.

Noticing stuff being burnt on the burners, I walk toward it to inspect it; hoping that it isn't flesh. Upon reaching the stove, I quickly turn off the burners just as something else catches my eyes. A black leather belt rest just next to the stove on a countertop, one that has M.D scratches into it. Grabbing the leather belt, I allow it to rest in my palms as I realize it had belonged to Merle. Feeling rather happy that the oldest Dixon had been in this room, I turn on my heels just as the others enter the kitchen.

"What's that burnt stuff?" Daryl questions, as he walks closer to the stove that I just turned off. He then looks at the belt I am holding in my hands, realization crossing his features. "Skin," Rick replies, as he bends down a bit to take a better look at the melted skin. I scrunch my face up at the amount of pain Merle must've been in when he did that to his own arm. "He cauterized the stump."

"Told you he was tough. Nobody can kill Merle but Merle." My best friend states as he muses over the fact that his big brother brunt his arm. I roll my eyes at the man just as I begin to loop Merle's belt around my waist, wanting to keep something of his on me. "Don't take that on faith. He lost a lot of blood." Rick comments tiredly, as he begins to look around for any signs of the older Dixon. Doing the same, I notice a window that seemed to have been broken open or opened normally. "Didn't stop him from busting out of this death trap." I inform while I point in the direction of the windows.

Walking over toward the window to take a better look at what is beyond it, I notice a lot of walkers roaming the streets just outside. My heart clinches at the mere thought of Merle being stuck outside with them. Who knows, maybe Merle is already dead and torn to pieces by the dead. "He left the building? Why the hell would he do that?" Glenn questions, after I had looked away from the window and toward the others. His hands are clasped tightly around the straps to his backpack that contains Merle's hand.

"Why wouldn't he," Daryl replies bitterly, as he glances toward the pizza delivery man. Watching as they all begin to walk toward me, so they too can get a look at the window; I lean against the wall. "He's out there alone as far as he knows, doing what he's got to do. Surviving." Nodding in agreement with my best friend, I cross my arms over my chest as they all continue to converse. I just wish that Merle would have stayed on the roof, where he would have been safe and protected from the walkers. "You can that surviving," T-Dog asks shockingly, causing me to look at him with a raised brow. "Just wandering out in the streets, maybe passing out? What are his odds out there?"

"No worse than being handcuffed and left to rot by you sorry pricks," Daryl snaps venomously, as he glared daggers toward the ebony man. Sometimes I wished that my best friend could control his anger a little more, but even I know that may not ever happen. "You couldn't kill him. Ain't so worried about some dumb dead bastard." Stepping toward the man I've grown up with, I place a comforting hand on his arm. His tensed muscles soon relax at my touch, as he looks over at me for a split second with his crystal blue eyes. "What about a thousand dead dumb bastards? That's a different story." Rick proclaims, as he looks directly at Daryl and I wish no hope in his eyes.

My stomach tightens at the mere thought of having to go out there with a thousand walkers, as anxiety begins to pool in my chest. My hazel eyes flicker towards Daryl's tanned face, as he brings his thumb to his lips impatiently - as he begins to chew at the dead skin around the nail. "Why don't you take a tally? Do want you want," Daryl mutters defensively, as he then grabs my shoulder gently. Watching as he then looks away from the others and toward the window, I instantly knew what he wanted to do. "Kathy and I are gonna go get him."

"Daryl, wait." Rick tries, as he goes to reach for the redneck. Knowing how my best friend reacts to random people touching him, I step back a bit. Daryl suddenly snaps back, as he throws his arms back to shove the former sheriff from him - anger coursing through his body rapidly. "Get your hands off me! You can't stop me!" He shouts, as he then goes to stand in front of me protectively. Carefully grabbing his hand that now rest at his sides, I intertwine our fingers.

"I don't blame you," Rick says softly, as he steps closer to Daryl and me all while signing the words. Feeling my best friend's fingers tighten around mine, I gently squeeze his hand to reassure him that everything is fine. Well as fine as things can get given our situation. "He's family, I get that. I went through hell to find mine. I know exactly how you feel," Holding back the urge to roll my eyes, I allow the former sheriff to continue. He doesn't know exactly how Daryl or myself feel in this situation, for everyone feels and reacts to things differently. "He can't get far with that injury. We could help you check a few blocks around but only if we keep a level head."

Slowly nodding my head to agree with Rick, I look up toward my best friend to see what he is doing. His crystal blue eyes stare directly at the former sheriff, the anger in them slowly fading. I can see that he is trying his hardest to fight the battle within his own mind, which causes me to rub my thumb against his fingers. Daryl then looks down at our hands from my actions, before he looks over toward me - his mind finally being made up. "We could do that." He finally replies after a moment, as he looks back toward Rick Grimes.

"Only if we get those guns first," T-Dog cuts in urgently, causing me to roll my eyes toward the man. His brown eyes dart between all of us and the broken window, no doubt staring out at the walkers. "I'm not strolling the streets of Atlanta with just my good intentions, okay?" Daryl's fingers then slip from mine as he goes to adjust his crossbow on his shoulders, silently agreeing with the ebony man. Glancing toward Rick, I soon realize our next steps were made by the shake of his head.

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We were all gathered around a dust-covered table that had drawings on it, our eyes glued to it as we try to come up with a plan. Lines were sprawled out within the dust, resembling the streets of Atlanta that surrounds us as well as the building we are in. There is also an X placed in the center of it, telling us that is the location of the guns. When the map was first drawn on the table, Glenn had tried to make it as simple as possible as he explained what he thought would be best. He wanted to be the one to run for the bag of guns, while the rest of us sit at either side of the alleys to make sure he doesn't die.

Even though he claims that he is a fast runner and that everything will turn out fine, I still can't help but feel panicked. He shouldn't have to go out there alone to grab the guns, that are currently in a street full of walkers. Apparently, Rick thought the same as he had shaken his head after we all looked up from the makeshift map and toward each other. "You're not doing this alone." Rick dismisses, as he places his hands on the table while leaning against it. Nodding in agreement toward the Korean man, I cross my arms over my chest. "Even I think it's a bad idea and I don't even like you much." Daryl comments, causing me to elbow him in his sides.

"Be nice." I sign tiredly, once he looks in my direction while rubbing where I had elbowed him. Daryl rolls his eyes at my words before he looks back towards the others. He needs to be nice to these people, especially since they're the ones who are helping us find his brother. "It's a good idea, okay, if you just hear me out. If we go out there in a group, we're slow, drawing attention," Glenn explains, as he motions toward the streets that are just outside of this building. Sadly he has a point, even if I don't want to admit it. "If I'm alone, I can move fast,"

"Look. That's the tank, five blocks from where we are now," Glenn continues, as he motions down to a bottle tab that is supposed to resemble the tank. He then glides his hand across the map toward the X, before tapping it a couple of times. "That's the bag of guns. Here's the alley I dragged you into when we first met. That's where Daryl, Kat, and I will go." Nodding at his words as he taps the alley where we will be, I shift from one foot to another. Daryl's eyes flicker from the map and toward the Korean man, his hand tightening around his crossbow. "Why us?" He questions while pointing between himself and me.

"Your bows are quieter than his gun. While Daryl and Kat wait here in the alley, I run up the street, grab the bag."

"You got us elsewhere?" Rick asks, as he looks up from the map and toward the person in charge of all of this. Wanting to know the answer to that question, I watch as Glenn runs his fingers across the map as he points to another alley. "You and T-Dog, right. You'll be in this alley here." Glenn replies curtly, as he taps the alley twice to indicate they will be waiting there. Raising a brow at the fact they will be two blocks away, I glance toward Rick. "Two blocks away? Why?" He questions, as he feels unsure about the placement.

"I may not be able to come back the same way. Walkers might cut me off. If that happens, I won't go back to Daryl and Kat," Glenn explains, as he finally looks up from the makeshift map he had made. Feeling unsettled that he may not come back toward Daryl and me, I shift uncomfortably. "I'll go forward instead, all the way around to that alley where you guys are. Whichever direction I go, I got you in both places to cover me. Afterward, we'll meet back here." Still not feeling eased by the plan given to us, I allow my arms to fall to my sides. He needs someone to go out there with him so he is covered more closely.

"I'll go with him, cover him more closely." I offer before I place my hands on the table as well. Glenn looks over at me and smiles almost immediately, already seeming to know I'd offer to tag along. Seeing T-Dog and Rick both nod, I look toward Daryl to see that he is looking at me in shock. "No, you're not going," Daryl orders after a moment, before he shakes his head. My jaw falls a bit at him trying to even control what I do, nearly causing me to roll my eyes. "It's too dangerous and I can't be out there to protect you."

"You don't get the say on if I go or not, Daryl," I snap almost immediately, not liking the fact that he told me that I couldn't go. Which only makes me want to go more, so he shouldn't have tried to go against my words. "I am old enough to make my own decisions and I can take care of myself. I am going with Glenn to protect him, to get those guns," In the corner of my eyes I can see the others watching me intensely, as they keep their eyes trained on my rapid fingers. Daryl continues to stand in front of me, almost seemingly defeated. "Just remember, Dixon, those guns and these people are going to help us find Merle."

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By the time the three of us reached the ladder that leads down to the alleyway, we were all covered in sweat due to the smothering hot sun and humid air. That doesn't phase me in the slightest, for I am more focused on the goals that need to be reached in order to go back to the campsite before sundown. Not caring if the others are talking around me, I am the first to holster myself onto the ladder - clasping my fingers around the bars. Trying to ignore the blistering heat that is radiating from each bar that I touch, I force myself to continue traveling downward. Once I reach the bottom of the ladder, I jump the small gap between the ladder to the ground as I land swiftly.

Pulling my bow from my shoulders, I grab an arrow and hold it against the string of my bow to ready myself against any pending threat. Scanning the alley to ensure our safety, I quickly rush to the dumpster that is a bit away from the fence that leads to the street. Continuing to stay on edge, I look toward the ladder just as Glenn and Daryl finish climbing down. Motioning them to come to where I am hidden from view, they nod as they start rushing to me. "You got some balls for a chinaman." Daryl mutters dryly, as he grabs an arrow and loads his crossbow.

"I'm Korean." Glenn corrects while he shrugs off his backpack, in an attempt to ready himself. Placing my bow and my arrows next to the backpack, I take a deep breath as I take my knife out before twirling it in my hand. Glancing over toward Daryl, I give a short nod before I stand up and run from cover as Glenn follows. Grabbing the fence that leads out to the streets, I am quick to pull it open before Glenn and I emerge from the streets. Kicking back a walker that gets too close, I plunge my knife into its skull before rushing after my Korean friend.

Pushing another walker from our line of sight, I continue to keep myself behind Glenn as we run toward the bag of guns. Beads of sweat roll down my forehead as I continue to run down the street, but I make no effort to wipe them away. My heart hammers in my chest as I continue to run, as anxiety and false hope build in my chest. Once Glenn and I reach the guns, he quickly grabs the bag handles before he starts to run back toward where we came from. Thankfully not a lot of walkers have noticed us yet, meaning we can get back to Daryl instead of going to Rick and T-Dog.

Watching as Glenn slows down a bit to backtrack, I slow down as well to make sure he doesn't get hurt. The young Korean then grabs a sheriff's hat, before he starts to run ahead of me again. The sheriff's hat must belong to Rick, so Glenn probably felt obligated to grab it too. Running back toward the alley, I keep my knife tightly in my hands so I can kill walkers if needed. Upon reaching the alley, Glenn comes to an abrupt stop as he holds an arm out to stop me.

Raising a brow toward the Korean man, I tilt my head to look over his shoulders to see why he had stopped me. My eyes widen as I notice a few Mexican men beating Daryl to a pulp, as another stands and looks rather panicked. Before Glenn and I can react, one of the Mexican's had pointed in our direction, causing another to start running toward us. The man was quick to grab Glenn, as another goes to grab me, causing me to thrash around in a fit of panic. As the unknown man tries to grab my arms, I quickly draw a hand back before punching him harshly in the face.

The man stumbles back due to my hit, causing me to shove past him in an attempt to get to Daryl. Before I can even reach my best friend, a pair of arms wrap around my torso, causing my mouth to fly open. Vibration painfully erupts from the back of my throat, as I begin to thrash around frantically - not really knowing what to do or what is even happening. As I am being dragged away from my weapons, the dumpster, and Daryl, I try to reach out for anything to help me or to grab. Feeling the fence graze my fingers, I quickly wrap my hands around them as I begin to pull myself back toward the alley.

Feeling my chest tighten as fear finally embeds itself within my own body, I continue to fight against the men that have a hold of me. Spotting the fence close to me, as they try to pull me away from the alley, I am quick to grab ahold of it. Lacing my fingers within the bars, I try to pull myself away from them with no luck. Suddenly pain soars through my face, causing me to instantly let go of the fence as my face snaps to the side. Tears instantly find their way to my hazel eyes, as I realized I had just been punched.

In the split second of shock consuming my entire body, they had managed to pull me away from the alley and into a vehicle. Beginning to fight back again, a potato sack is then draped over my head - cutting off my vision. My body then begins to shake as I feel myself growing more panicked, as my anxiety finally takes control. Tears begin to fall down my cheeks as I feel myself gasping for air, as it feels like a truck had been placed on my chest. As I feel myself growing weak, as my body begins to shake, while tears roll down my cheeks I feel a familiar hand grasps mine.

Glenn's hand.

____Word Count: 3,964

Hi, everyone and welcome back to this story! I am so happy that I was finally able to get back to my old self and begin writing again. This chapter has been half written for months now, so I finally sat down and plopped in my headphones for music and began writing. So much has happened in this chapter and so much will happen in the next as well!

What are your thoughts on this chapter?{ I personally love this chapter. That may be biased since I am the author. }

What is your favorite part of this chapter?{ I personally like the ending where Glenn had reached for Katherine's hand, and she realizes it is him moments before passing out due to an anxiety attack. }

What are your thoughts on Katherine's relationship with the others?{ I promise that the chapters will get better the more chapters there are! }

If you celebrated Christmas, how was it and what did you get?{ Feel free to comment your favorite gift that you have gotten from a loved one, friends, or even a significant other! I would love to hear about your gifts and how you celebrated this Christmas! }

If you didn't celebrate Christmas or just don't celebrate that holiday, how did you spend the Holiday season?{ I really hope you all got to enjoy yourselves during the snowy month! }

If you celebrated New Years, what did you do?{ I had celebrated! I celebrated by staying up till midnight with my boyfriend and our kitten to watch the ball drop! We celebrated by pouring apple juice in champagne glasses, since we are not of legal age to drink just yet. }

I hope you all had a fantastic Christmas, Hanukkah, Holiday, and New Years with family and friends (safely, of course)! I hope and pray that you and your friends and family are staying safe within this pandemic. Continue to wear your mask and wash your hands, as well as social distance!

Lots of love,Crimson Rose