Chapter 18

August flew by and before I knew it, it was mid September. The weather went from humid and rainy to cold and rainy in the matter of days. They still didn't tell me anything about California, I even tried dropping hints about December, and wanting to do something special. Apparently they didn't give a shit, because they never said one thing about going away.

Today was the big video for Josh's channel, the one Simon was preparing me for, with the slippers. I had a feeling we would be doing videos for everyone but this one seemed to something all the boys were looking forward to. It was the challenge they liked, and they begged me to be in it with them, probably to make themselves look better I'm sure. Even Vik looked like he knew what he was doing when it came to me. They didn't know that Simon had been taking me out and teaching me not to be shit. Still, I definitely didn't think I'd hit a crossbar, at least I would kick the ball in the right direction.

Currently Simon and I were sitting in the kitchen, me up on the island while he was digging around the refrigerator looking for food. Everyone else was still upstairs getting ready, we still haven't gotten around to tell anyone about us, even though I thought I could be ready. Simon stopped asking and it hasn't really been holding us back, it was probably the only reason why our relationship went so smooth. There was no one to separate us.

Simon's phone sat next to me, I didn't pay any mind to it until it vibrated. He didn't come up to grab it so I took it off the counter and looked at it, figuring it was just something from Twitter or something. That's when I saw it. The text.

Jesse: Hi babe, can't wait to see you in Cali<3

I swear I saw red. Here I was thinking we were doing good and he had girls texting him, looking forward to meeting him at a place that I didn't know about. He probably got JJ in on it too, really taking advantage of these guys not knowing that Simon would be cheating on me. The sides of my vision blurred the longer I kept quiet and let my mind wander, thinking about all the possible scenarios. If I wasn't so furious I'd most likely be crying, but this was how I functioned. Shutting down when things stopped going my way. That wasn't going to stop me from putting up a fight.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I snapped suddenly. Simon's body physically jerked and he quickly looked back at me to check if I was okay. When he decided everything looked safe and sound, his look turned to one of confusion. He was actually pretending that he didn't do anything wrong. Fucking unbelievable.

His eyes flickered down to his phone but his expression didn't change. "Who was it?" Long legs made this way to me and Simon reached for his phone. Out of pure rage, my hand flew back and the object went sailing away from us. Hitting the couch in the living room on its way to the floor. He's lucky I have bad aim or it would have been broken.

"Your other girlfriend, she's excited to see you in California. I know there was a reason everyone was keeping it from me, didn't know it was because of this."

That's when the fury that I often brought out of Simon kicked in. That look I've grown familiar with was something that no one else had seen. If he was so angry about me going through his phone he shouldn't hide things from me.

"You can't be serious. You're the one keeping us a secret and I'm the one getting yelled at."

"That gives you the right to cheat on me?"

"No one is fucking cheating on you!" He yelled. "Do you think you're the only one who can throw a fit and throw things?" A glass cup was picked up and smashed on the tiled ground. Tiny shards popped up and showered on my bare feet. It didn't hurt me, but it snapped the attitude out of me real quick. "Jesse is a mate of mine, her and her BOYFRIEND are meeting us in California. I didn't tell you because JJ wanted to surprise you. Let's not who refuses to tell anyone about us." Simon stomped away, heading toward the front door as JJ was coming down the stairs.

His eyes widened from the scene in front of him. "What happened."

I could have told him right then and there, about me and Simon. Somehow it didn't feel like enough. Telling him now would have been a little too late. But it was time for everyone to know. More importantly, I wanted Simon to know that I wanted everyone to know about him. He wasn't a secret, not nearly, he was the best thing that ever happened to me since JJ.

"A cup slipped from my hand," I replied. "Are we leaving soon? Simon wanted to get there early." We were supposed to go together but obviously that wasn't happening anymore.

"We're leaving now so come on!" JJ yelled up the stairs to Vik and Josh, who were taking forever.

"Let me clean this up," carefully I hopped off the counter, avoiding the glass. Freya was right, Simon wasn't a monster, it was me who drove him to be like this. Aaron was the one who made it hard to trust someone, so it wasn't hard for me to comprehend that a person can fuck you up. I wasn't going to be that person to Simon.

I had a plan.

When the three boys and I got to the pitch everyone else was already there. Josh carried a large black bag that I could only assume contained the slippers. It was always nice to see all the boys together, even Manny was here. In my head I made a note to get pictures of all of them. It made me feel more like a parent, than their friend, but I didn't mind, my happiness really was because of all of them. Recently they've become more and more excited to see me. The other boys didn't get to see me as often as Josh, Vik, JJ, and Simon did, so it took them longer to really warm up to me. Once they did though, they quickly became like brothers to me, ones that I always wished I had.

Simon did all he could not to look at me, could I blame him? All I ever did for him was complain and throw fits without giving it two thoughts. The best thing I could do for him was to leave and never come back, I was just too selfish so I did the next best thing planned. It was pretty big I'd say, something he would never see coming. It terrified me and at the same time I couldn't wait to do it.

We all gathered together, Harry had his arm around me shoulders and even though Simon was angry I still caught him sending daggers into the back of his best friends head. He could have been petty and just blurted it out to everyone and his main concern was still not to upset me. This boy was too good for me and I couldn't be anymore happier for it. Him being good made me good.

Josh stood slightly in front of us and started the video. "Hi guys, today I have something special planned. We're doing the crossbar challenge, but with these!" He dumped the bag onto the floor, revealing slippers of all kinds, from big fluffy ones to loafers. We all laughed at the mere thought of looking ridiculous trying to hit the tiny bar.

After that we began with out sad attempts. Surprisingly everyone came close, ever I got it up to the middle of the net. Vik was doing really great as well, and here I was thinking he was going to make me look good.

Ethan was the first to hit it though, with The Simpsons slippers. Everyone went wild and chased him, for some reason that's what the boys did anytime someone got a goal, or succeeded at the task at hand. Like the victory celebration was being tackled. I stayed on the outside of the excitement, they could be quite rough with each other. Even though I was quite often one of the boys, I didn't want to rise getting in the middle of that.

How someone could look good in pretty pink boot slippers was beyond me and yet here Simon was with his long, yet toned legs from all the years of football. The red shirt that hung loosely from his body didn't do him justice. He thought he was too skinny and lanky, always wanting to bulk up. Which is fine, I wanted him to do whatever made him happy, but he also had to know how perfect he was for me. No matter what he did I would still think the world of him.

Vik somehow got the next crossbar and it would be an understatement to say everyone went wild. As usual all the boys chased him, but before anyone could reach him, JJ hit him from the side and completely laid him out. I felt myself cringe just from the look of it, everyone else either laughed or dropped their mouths from shock. Miraculously Vik jumped up unscathed, not everyone else was afraid for the next time they 'scored' they would get a mouth full of grass.

Of course it was me who was up next, not that it worried me, there was no way I was ever going to hit it. My slipped of choice was the same as Ethan had on since it there was only a limited amount of options. All the other ones were too big and would fall off by the time I would kick the ball. At least this one wrapped around my ankle.

Taking a few steps back like I had been doing again and again all day, I ran up to the ball and launched it as hard as I could. it sailed higher than it had for me all day. We all watched it go until it neared the goal, very clearly tapping the bottom of the crossbar.

I hit it.

Oh god.

Immediately I covered my head and braced for impact whilst all the boys were screaming. JJ didn't give two shits if I was a girl or not, he would have taken me down as soon as he got the chance. I liked that about him though, he knew as well as I did that I didn't like being treated different just because I was a girl. That's not saying I was looking forward to being a sandwich between JJ and the ground.

Whereas I thought I was going down I was suddenly lifted off the ground and twirled around. I lifted my head to see Simon swinging me around, but more importantly keeping me away from JJ. He very well could have allowed me to get pummeled, just like the other guys were going to. Ethan wrapped his arms around the both of us and jumped up and down. All the while I couldn't stop myself from giggling from how excited they got, even though JJ couldn't take me down he still tried jumping on top of all us.

My body was placed on the ground and that's when I knew. It was time. Better late than never, as they say. Everyone around us was witnessing the pure joy I got whenever he was near me, touching me. It was him that I wanted and needed, and he needed to know that. So did everyone else. He could have stopped trying ages ago, and never once did his feelings for me falter. Never once did my feelings for him falter, no matter how long it took me to admit it to myself.

Loving Simon was like singing in the car alone, you knew that people could see you, and you didn't care about how stupid you looked because you had a great time doing it. It didn't matter how stupidly in love I was with this boy, who was watching, because I loved to love him. That was when it hit me, how much I needed him to love me the way I loved him. He took away all of my fears and made me feel like I could do anything. That whatever was in my past didn't matter because he wanted to be with me now, he wouldn't be with a Kelsey who didn't go through what I went through. It made me the tough, vulnerable, difficult girl that he chose to be with. Never have I felt more right about any of my decisions.

The commotion died down and Simon tried to walk away from me but I grabbed his hand and pulled him back. Pulling him slightly closer to the other boys so everyone could hear. Confused looks surrounded me from all sides, no one could ever guess that someone like me could do something so spectacular, there were right for the most part. When it came to Simon my tough exterior didn't stand a chance.

I took a deep breath and looked into his big blue eyes. Even he wasn't expecting it, here goes nothing.

"I'm in love with you, Simon Minter."

Confusion turned into surprised, no one said anything. They thought it was Simon with the hopeless crush all this time, little did they know that I was head over heels for this man standing in front of me. The boy who made me get over the fear of being in love because I knew he would never change. If one day we didn't work out then I'd still be okay because he would still be him.

"Sorry it took me so long to man up and tell you that."

A few more beats of quiet then Simon snapped out of the trance I put him in. He hand reached out, wrapped around the back of my neck and pulled me to meet him for a kiss. It felt freeing to do so in front of everyone we cared about after so long of keeping it quiet. Why the fuck did I ever do that? You couldn't pay me to do it ever again, it was official now.

I was all his.

He was all mine.

"It's about fucking time," JJ laughed.

"What do you mean?" I looked at him with my eyebrows pushed together.

"Oh come on, you really think I didn't know, Kells? I've known for awhile, you're a piece of shit for not telling me, the both of you." He was definitely being serious about us being shitty for not telling him, but the smile on his face said it all. JJ was the happiest out of all of us about me and Simon, only wanting the best for me. We both knew that Simon was the best.

Everyone else seemed to be excited too, their eyes twinkled from the sight of us. They knew Simon deserved a girl who loved him and they were glad that I was the one loving him. We were perfect for each other, I knew it and now everyone else would be able to see it. I was at me best when he was around.

"That was proper cute but we do have videos to make before the sun goes down, yeah?" Vik spoke up and just as quickly as things got serious, it was over. Except that Simon kissed me quickly before we set up what we needed for the next video. I don't know how they could do this all day, my legs were quickly growing tired along with my boredom. My mind wandered, thinking about everything that wasn't football, like the boys, how my parents were holding up without me, the fact that I was going to California in December, when I was-

He didn't say it back.

I confessed my love to Simon in front of everyone and he didn't say it back to me. Did he even love me? It was just like me to be to worried about my own feelings to even think about how Simon had been feeling. Stupid me, to think I was ever the kind of girl someone could love. All I was to him was a fiery, unpredictable girl who filled some kind of void in his life. He liked that I was trouble, that was it, I wasn't the long term girl that he wanted.

A sharp pain on the side of my head brought me out of my self destructive thoughts. I bent over and my hands came up to cradle my face, trying to dull the throbbing. Next to me, a football rolled slowly to a stop. For fuck's sake.

"Shit!" Josh yelled, running up to me and putting his hands on my shoulder. "I'm sorry Kells, didn't you hear me say watch out?"

"It's okay," I replied quickly. "My fault, wasn't paying attention." Even though it hurt I still managed to smile up at the bearded boy to show him I was okay.

"We should probably wrap up for today anyway, I've got things to do," JJ suggested and it seemed like everyone was on the same page. They all started packing up while I fidgeted where I stood, watching Simon laugh at something Tobi said. He had a way about him that made everyone around gravitate to wherever he was.

Harry walked over to me with his hands in his pockets. "So it's true, yeah? You love him?"

"I think so."

"Don't let him hurt you, the regret I have won't feel so bad if he's worth it." What did that mean? I didn't have time to ask before he hugged me and started heading toward his car. Something was off about him, he seemed fine all day.

We all said our goodbyes after that and parted ways, this time I went with Simon automatically, assuming our fight was over. He interlaced our fingers on the short walk to his Range Rover, the small affectionate things he did were my favorite. It had to be enough to know that he cared about me, having someone like Simon Minter in your life was already a blessing. Asking to be loved was too much. It was easy to love him, all he ever did was make me a better person, I only made him happy half the time. The other half was spent starting a fight over nothing.

The car would have been dead silent if it wasn't for the soft hums of the radio. Currently my thumb nail was down to the nub from all the biting I was doing, it was nervous habit of mine. It was going to bother me until I said something and I knew I wouldn't. This Simon was fucking me up without even trying.

The first time I decided to speak up was when I noticed we missed the turn to the house. "Babe, where are we going?"

"You'll see."

My first guess was that we were going to Nando's. I should have given Simon more credit than that when we showed up to the beach we've only been to one other time completely by accident. There were pebbles where the sand should be, which I preferred, it didn't get in your shoes while you walked and they made a swishing noise with each stride. It was beautiful, even in the middle of shit hole London.

Simon tugged on my hand toward the sail boats that were tied up on the shore. A smile came to my face remembering this exact spot. The first time we ended up here was completely accidental, we made the best of it. Like I said, everything was great with Simon.

"What are we doing here?"

"Do you remember when my battery died down the block from here? I didn't want to call the boys and leave my car here and it was going to take an hour for the tow to come. Without a question you agreed and said we should go for a walk while we waited. We found this place. It's a shit hole but the excited smile on you face made it feel like paradise. I watched you run up and down the shoreline, chasing and being chased by the water. You begged me to join and how could I say no?

"Then you jumped up on top of this boat right here," he pointed to the one we stood in front of. "There were a handful of people watching, but you didn't care. You started to play an awful air guitar while laughing at yourself. Every single person that was around you lit up from the sight. It took my breath away.

"It seemed like five minutes had passed when the tow showed up. That's what it's like with you, like there's never enough time. The world stops and speeds up whenever you're near me. I'm beginning to see that forever with you wouldn't be long enough." As he continued speaking his large hands gripped my small frame. With ease I was lifted up onto the boat. My heart pounded from his words even if I didn't know what the fuck he was on about.

"What I'm trying to say," he looked up at me with a twinkle in his eyes.

"This is the exact spot where I realized I was in love with you."

All words had escaped me, like my mind had gotten completely erased. If I wrote down everything I thought he was going to say to me, that wouldn't have made it to the list. He did love me, this wasn't a dream, he was real and he was in love with me. All this time Simon knew but didn't tell me.

I launched myself from the boat and into the boy's arms, we nearly fell from the impact. My legs wrapped around his waist, dropped my head so our lips fell into place together. Somehow Simon managed to creep into my heart for a permanent stay. My home, my happiness was wherever he was. I was never one for cliché's but I couldn't get enough of us, the biggest cliché of them all. The boy got the stone cold bitch and taught her how to love again.

Thunder was rumbling in the distance, our cue to leave our mall paradise. I giggled uncontrollably as Simon put me on his back and ran the both of us back to his car. The ride back home was a comfortable quiet this time around. No longer did I have the dark thoughts swelling inside of my brain, they were replaced by a sense of euphoria. The trees we passed hung low with incredibly dark leaves, promising the entrance of fall. Soon enough reds, browns, and yellows will fill the world around us. The weather will grow crisp ad sweaters will be the new tank tops. Cups of hot chocolate, horror movies, holidays, fall was easily me favorite season. It was only going to get better because I got to spend it with my best mates, JJ, and the love of my life.

"Do you think Josh is going to keep that little bit in his video?" The thought suddenly occurred to me.

"I hope you, everyone can see how cheesy you are."

"Oi, calm down, you're the one who brought me back to the place you fell in love with an entire speech prepared."

His laughter sent butterflies to my stomach, "you can call me the modern Shakespeare."

"No thanks."

Later on in the night, Simon and I laid in his bed. He scrolled through Twitter while I debated on which picture to post of the boys on my Instagram. They were taken nearly at the same time, one was normal, everyone looked at the camera and smiled. Right after that JJ sneezed on top of Vik's head. The picture I captured had JJ laughing hysterically , Vik's look of disgust, swinging back to hit his friend but nearly hitting Harry and causing him to flinch. Tobi completely blinked while keeping on with his goofy smile, Ethan's mouth was wide open. Simon looked at the camera like he couldn't believe this was who he was friends with. Josh, already know this picture was fucked up crossed his eyes leaving Manny, the only normal person who was completely oblivious to everything going on around him.

I shoved my phone in Simon's face, "which one should I post?"

It took him a second for his eyes to refocus, once they did he puffed out a chuckle and shook his head. "Definitely the crazy one, it suits us better. Why don't you ever take pictures with you in them?"

"Because I don't need to."

"You'd out stage us all anyway."

I took my lip between my teeth to suppress the grin that tried to make its way to me face. This guy was as corny as they come. So amazingly, beautifully, perfectly corny.

"It was right here, you know," I mumbled.

"What was?"

"The day I was going to Cal's house, even half asleep, your first thought was making sure I was safe. That's when I knew I loved you. Took me a little longer than you, but I got there."

I was staring up at the ceiling so Simon grabbed my face and pulled it close. His lips captured mine as his mouth folded of mine. Our tongues were in sync, gliding over one another. Simon tasted better than any candy, than any kind of alcohol. And I liked to drink. Simon bit deeply onto my bottom lip, not stopped until I gasped. Feeling, that's what he liked to do to me. Make me feel each and every touch of his, until I could practically feel him swimming in my veins.

Determinedly he turned over and dragged himself on top of me, settling between my thighs. His fingertips scratched their way down my sides, once he reached the end of my shirt it was being ripped off of me and thrown onto the ground. My bra wasn't as cute as the other day, one being a dark blue sports bar. It still made Simon light up like a little school boy. Only he could make me feel like a goddess on my worst days.

Me, on the other day, I was helpless underneath him. My hands moved up and down his body that was thankfully already shirtless. He shivered from my always cold hands while his body felt like it was on fire.

Without warning Simon shoved his hand down my sweatpants, immediately putting a finger inside of me. My head dropped back and a moan flew from my throat before disappearing into the air. Everything slipped from my mind, all that was going on around us seemingly vanished.

"Simon, I-I want you."

"I know Princess," his hot breath was right in my ear. Instead of jumping right at the opportunity he continues to pump his finger, adding a thumb to rub my core. It didn't take long for me to reach my climax, mumbling Simon's name and collapsing onto the bed.

We weren't done there, while I laid there in a daze, Simon reaching to his nightstand, coming up with a foil wrapped. "Haven't gotten to use these babies," he presented me the condom with a proud smile.

"Did you check the expiration date?"

"Ye-" In the middle of his answer he reached for the box to make sure these things weren't going to break from the slightest touch. "Okay, we're good."

"You sure?"

"Yup."

"Get on with it then," I made a pointed look toward the condom and then to my bottom half. My pants were tugged down, he grabbed my left legs and slipped the clothing over my ankle, doing the same to the right one. As of right now, he was kneeling about me, looking down and my half naked body. His eyes travelled over every inch of my curves, igniting me straight to me bones. Looking up at the man I loved, watching the emotion in his face when he peaked up to me face.

My hands gripped around my bra, with one smooth motion it was laying next to us, leaving me completely exposed from the waist up. For some reason, there was no being nervous around him. Even though my breasts weren't super perky and the perfect teardrop shape, I already knew he would still love them. He proved me right by ducking his head and wrapping his mouth around my nipple while his other hand went to caress the vacant one. His teeth nipped and sucked, his fingers tickled and pinched causing a wave of tingles to explode around my core. I tried my best to tug down his athletic shorts but he was much taller than me and my arms couldn't reach that far.

Simon laughed at my attempts, being so much more smooth with ridding him of his clothes. The only thing left on us were our underwear. The only thing I could think of doing to speed the process was latch my mouth to his neck and rock my hips into his. I sucked harshly on his thin skin with no remorse, surely leaving a hickey behind, who were we hiding from anymore. My body steadied a rhythm of rocking, causing friction from the both of us. I could tell it was getting to Simon too from his heavy breathing and his quivering arm that was trying to hold him up.

Finally, right before I lost mind my mind, the two pieces of fabric that was separating us were ditched. God, Simon was a work of art, with his broad shoulders, lean body, and muscular legs, it was a shame he didn't see himself that way I did. "You're so perfect," I whispered up to him. I quickly sat us up and took the condom from his hand. All he did was watch with wide eyes as I ripped the wrapped open and rolled the rubber carefully onto him. He twitched underneath the soft touch of my fingertips. The length of Simon never ceased to surprise me.

I laid back down as Simon hovered over me. "Are you sure?" He asked me, giving me a chance to back out. That was never going to happen. With a nod of my head, he took both of my hands into his own and push himself into me carefully. It was painful, I've only ever had sex twice and that hadn't been for a while.

"Go slow," I whined. He obeyed my demands and I felt him go in and out, filling every inch of me. Eventually I stretched enough to fit his size comfortably. Each breath of mine turned into a moan. Above me Simon grunted, doing his best to keep a steady pace. My fingers threaded through his hair and I pulled tightly before scratching my way down to his toned back, planting my nail in his skin.

The waves of pleasure coursing through my body left me in a mess. As far as I was concerned Simon was my first, the only time that counted anyway. Aaron didn't care about me, he just used my body to get what he wanted. The way Simon kissed my breasts, my collarbones, my cheeks, my nose, my lips. At this moment, we were one.

For the second time tonight pressure built up on my stomach, causing me to pull Simon impossibly closer to me. He dug his head into the crook of my neck, whispering sweet nothing in my ears, never once breaking his rhythm. My nails dug deeper into his skin, it was the only thing I could do.

"I'm going to come," Simon said.

"Not yet, go faster." Once he did I felt it, coming up fast. Every thrust he got deeper, hitting the perfect spot. It felt so good I began to move my body to meet with his, making him groan as he tried his best not to finish too soon.

"Oh fuck," I cried out when Simon hit the spot one last time, enough to push me over the edge, allowing my climax to take me. He quickly came after me, moaning my name before dropping his sweaty body onto mine. The both of us were breathing heavy in complete ecstasy.

He kissed me once more, "I love you."

"I love you."   

HOLY SHIT THIS IS OVER 5,000 WORDS.  Sorry it took me so fucking long to write this chapter it was so hard for me some reason, they confessed their love I wanted it to be perfect and I still feel like it isn't good enough but aw well.  The next update will definitely be out at a normal time I have so much planned for this book, I'm planning on it being 40-50 chapters and then I have another Simon fan fic I want to start working on.  Okay remember to comment and vote!!