56

He chose a sophisticated restaurant right outside the city. It looked like the perfect dinner date spot. And it was the best he could have chosen, except that I had been here before. With Jong Suk.

It was just the one time.

He usually preferred high-end places whenever we met. I did recall the exact place where we sat and talked. My gut panged for a stupid second. But I shook it off.

This was not about that jerk.

This was about the bastard beside me. It was our night.

I caved a step behind him when we entered, hoping he would lead me to the seat himself. Instead, he turned and placed his hand on the small of my back, gently guiding me. The base of my spine shivered and it was hot where he touched.

He walked me to the private table for two, nestled near a coffee coloured wall and a small chandelier over us throwing warm light on the cutlery.

"Sit." He casually pulled a chair for me, and I lowered myself on it, half blushing and half bratty. I didn't want to be all shy and fluffy. I wanted to tease the fuck out of this stalker in flesh.

Every time I inhaled his cologne or our eyes met, my face exploded realising that this man liked me way before we even met. What the fuck kind of novella was this? How was this even possible in real life? And what exactly made him curious about me from a weird headshot against a white background?

He had to be a creep.

"Thanks." I breathed, placing my handbag in the corner and adjusting myself.

"Comfortable?" He bent lower, his voice deeper and echoing through my head.

I blinked rapidly, clearing my throat and nodding fast to get him off my face. A satisfied smirk curled his mouth. He flexed the smoothness of his jacket and pulled his chair from the other side of the table, making me wonder if he was about to break the chair or something. Stupid, I know.

My eyes widened, coddled into a proximity I didn't know this kind of setting was capable of. Was this even allowed?

Instead of sitting across from me, Jungkook dragged his chair to the side, settling at the corner so he was half beside me, half facing me. It wasn't shoulder-to-shoulder close, but close enough that if I shifted, his knee might graze mine under the table.

"Is this to prevent me from telling everyone that you're a creep?" I smirked, trying not to blush the moment he spread his legs under the table and twisted his feet around mine.

"This is to make sure I can watch you enough. You're too distracting tonight." He scrunched his face as if it was a pain. Not to mock me, but in a way that made me want to smile and roll my eyes. And I did.

"Uh huh." I placed my chin on the heel of my palm, disbelievingly. "Sure, Mr Jeon. I believe you."

He chuckled.

I reached for the menu from the table, flipping through it, grinning like an idiot as I flipped through the pages. I did like the pasta I tried before. But it wouldn't be wise to eat the same damn thing.

"Um.." I idly tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear, "The mushroom rice here is pretty good. Have you tried it?" I glanced at him.

For a second, he didn't say a word. Then, slowly, he smiled. "Would you like me to? I'll obey."

"Obey." I mimicked and rolled my eyes again. "What am I? Your master?"

"Never mind, scratch the mushroom rice." I raised my palm, sighing and then quickly tried to flip through the items. I had a feeling I would bore him if I didn't say something quickly.

His fingers touched my wrist, they were cold against the warmth of my veins. But the way he ran a slow circle on it grounded me to the moment. "Slow down. We have the entire night."

"Yeah. But they don't." I motioned at the ambience.

"We still have enough time, I swear." He chuckled at me.

"Okay..." I mumbled, eyeing the items. The prices were flashy but Mr Versace Wristwatch here would get no second dates if he acted miserly right now. "Something that doesn't make me fat..." I hummed and then my eyes landed on the noodles page. Fuck yes. "Noodles? The safest here. I'll go with this. Maybe side it with apple cider."

I laid the menu flat between us, confident of my choice this time.

Before I could wave for the waiter, he raised his hand signalling him to come over. And a man appeared with his notepad, as if dragged in by some kind of aura. Maybe I was dating an emperor, not a director.

"We'll have the mushroom rice for me," he said, nodding once and I felt dizzy. He chose what I suggested, oh my god. Save me. "And the Mushroom Cream Udon for her. Side it with apple cider."

The waiter scribbled down the details quickly, "Anything to appetise?" He glanced at Jungkook. Jungkook turned to me and I blinked.

What?

I cleared my throat. "Some warm water, please."

"Heard that." Jungkook agreed. "Warm water."

The waiter jotted it down. Before he could leave, Jungkook spoke again.

"Bring in the chocolate soufflé after she is done with the udon." He said, and the man bowed, before taking his leave quickly.

"Dessert?" I tilted my head cockily. "Without my permission? Bossy much?"

Jungkook perched his chin on the tower of his fingers, "You're enjoying it, though."

"Oh?" I raised my brows challengingly. "How exactly have you come to that conclusion?"

"You're flushed, baby." He teased, showing his teeth. I wanted to jump out of the window and exit this date because what the fuck? I scooted back, hiding my face, embarrassed.

"Stop it, you creep." My voice shook, the brattiness still alive in me. "I'm not blushing. It's the lights."

He laughed, almost pleased with my reaction. Pleased? Seriously, pleased?

"Sure."

The warm water was served to me and I tested it before taking a sip of it. His eyes travelled to the glass when I placed it down and then returned to my face with my fingers. The soothing sensation in my throat made me settle down.

"So, what now? Should we go with the basic questionnaire?" I tilted my head and pressed my lips in a line.

"Basic questionnaire?"

"Yeah." I shrugged. "Favourite food. Favourite colour and stuff. And don't say it's the colour of my nipples, you creep."

He nearly choked, leaning back, flushed. "You—you really won't let this go, will you?"

I grinned, "Never."

"Fuck..." He ran a hand over his face, clearly unprepared for me. "You're so weird. One second you're blushing at eye contact and then you say something nasty like it doesn't even matter."

That actually made me blush through my neck.

I giggled, half nervous but not so jittery anymore. I liked the way he looked so invested in me. The feeling of being the only one grounding him felt oddly...warm.

My palm twisted around the warm glass of water, enjoying the temperature.

"Right back at you. You're the same." I scowled defensively.

He sighed, his chest rising and falling. My gaze flicked to the motions. It was too manly. My toes curled.

"Anyway, I've been meaning to ask you this." He leaned forward, eyes pouring into me as if he still needed more than what he was seeing. As if he couldn't get enough. I don't know how but ever since he confessed that he's always liked me, I was finally catching things in his body language, I wouldn't have otherwise. Just the soft tremble in his lashes when he peered deep. The way his mouth parted as if we were seconds away from a kiss when we were not. The way he stole details of me as if I wasn't watching.

"Did you...like it? Last night?"

My smile collapsed.

The waiter appeared with trays of our food and I couldn't thank him more. What the fuck kind of question was that? What was this man asking me?

Once we were served and the waiter had disappeared, I reached for the fork instead of the chopsticks.

"Hey," he softly implored and I stopped twisting the noodles on my plate. "I'm hoping I didn't do anything wrong."

"What do you mean...?" I paused, moistening my lower lip. My fingers pressed into the handle of the fork.

His chest heaved, "What we...did."

When I stayed mute and beet, he leaned closer, "Did you like it? Or do you want me to change something?"

I scooted back, heat crawling up my neck. My neck was about to explode at this rate. "What are you—is this like asking for a performance review? What are you even asking?" I whispered aggressively.

His brows twitched, puzzled by my reaction. "No! I mean, kind of?" He shrugged, thinking to himself. Then, his gaze settled on me, raw. "So, you liked it?"

I gulped, not even sure how to answer that. I never thought about sex from this point of view. "I...think so?"

"You think so?" He frowned. "You finished. So I'm thinking I did well in the end. But...like, what about foreplay and stuff? Did you enjoy it? Do you want me to change anything?"

My shoulders stiffened, eyes nervously darting around before meeting his expectant ones. "I...don't know how to answer that."

He tilted his head, eyes softer now, but realisation blooming in them, "You've never been asked before?" His knees brushed mine, keeping the proximity real.

I rolled the fork idly and then grinned, my smile watery, "I guess—I guess I haven't. I don't know how I would answer that."

He didn't wait. His hand reached my face, stroking my hair, and my jaw. His touch was gentle, grounding me protectively. "Then you tell me now. What you liked...what you didn't. I'll listen. Always."

I nodded, unaware of how to express it anymore. What was this weird feeling? I wanted to cry like a bitch. Was this even real?

"Fine, fine. I'll rate you later." I put the food in my mouth, stopping myself from acting like I didn't know shit.

Was he thinking little of me for not knowing this? Was it important to know this? How does one even review things? I didn't think that having sex was that important a thing in a relationship. And not to mean that I didn't like it. I did like the pleasure but it hadn't even occurred to me that I could sit and talk to someone about how they could change something about it.

Jungkook didn't press me after that. He ate his food, let me try some of it and I let him taste the udon. We made a note to order this sometime when we wanted to have lunch at Neureva.

His hand kept brushing my hair, my cheek, my knees every now and then. It was as if he was keeping me close. Every time he touched me, I shivered. We talked about random things. About work. About when I joined Neureva and what I've been working with. He told me about a few of his colleagues he considers his closest friends. Park Bo Gum was one of them, obviously.

He talked about how he loves sports bikes and his love for road trips whenever he wants to reload himself. I told him about how I was the most boring girl on the planet and that my only hobby was reading dark romance smut. I didn't tell him about the smut part. He'd die.

He said he would like to read one with me one day. Well, good luck, boyfriend. Peace sign.

"Ooh! This looks pretty!" I said when the dessert arrived. "Thank you!"

"You're always welcome, darling." He smiled gently. I dug my spoon taking a bite, my head rolling back at how beautifully creamy it was. Just the sweetness that I needed to finish this. "Ah, amazing~"

My shoulders did a little dance and he laughed, bending lower and dropping a kiss on my bare arm as if he couldn't resist.

"If you ever order from here, please get me this." I pointed my spoon at him commandingly.

"Yes ma'am." He placed a hand on his chest as if he was a soldier on a battlefield pledging to his country.

"You know," I began, digging my spoon into the last bite of the soufflé. "For someone so careful last night, you sure seem relaxed here." I teased and then wedged the spoon between my lips, relishing the final piece of that heavenly dessert.

"Careful...yes. Relaxed? Only because I can't stop watching you enjoy yourself." His mouth twitched, fingers gently brushing my knee under the table.

I glared at him with no bite but a wide smile, "Are you saying that I look cute eating this dessert?"

"Maybe." He nodded, serious. A loving hand pushed a non-existent strand of hair behind my ear. "I like watching you. And it's not specific to when you eat. I like observing everything you do."

I tilted my head, shivering from the touch. His hand remained between my shoulder and my tilted cheek. Then, I brushed him off, unable to bear how red this was making me. "You sound like you're obsessed with me or something..." I mumbled, eyes hovering over the plate.

He scoffed with no edge. "Would you mind if I was?"

"What if I do?" I raised a brow, glancing at him with a cut in my look.

"Then, I'd have to hide the fact that I sleep with your photo next to me."

My head snapped up, "Wha—you creep!" I smacked his knuckles softly. "Tone it down! You sound too serious!"

A moment later, the cheque arrived. I looked at the bill and bit my lip. It was just a flash but I remembered that thing he told me outside Seven-Eleven, how he could never let me pay. A cruel smirk lifted my lips. I took my bag, pulling out a few crisp cash bills and folded them.

"Here. I'll cover the dessert." I said.

His brows twitched. "You—" he began, exasperated. "You really don't stop, do you?" He flicked the bill back at me and it landed squarely in front of my plate.

I covered my face and laughed. "What? I'm just paying for the dessert?" I sang as innocently as I could.

"Yeah." He deadpanned and his card appeared again. He passed it to the waiter. Then, he turned to look at me, a cutting glare on. "I'll show you what you're paying for. You're doing this because I told you not to. You brat."

"You brat." I mimicked and rolled my eyes. "I love watching you get riled up. You don't get to be all smooth and charming with me. That's unfair."

"Walk?" He lent his hand out, standing up.

I nodded, standing up and twisting my fingers around his. He reached for my bag before I could. He hung it over his shoulder, leading me out of there, collecting the card back from the waiter at the entrance.

Why the fuck did everything he did make my stomach flip? Was I going crazy?

He turned for a tiny second just to check on me while leading me out. Our eyes met. And that flicker of something. Like someone smashed a tubelight in me. My vagina did that weird zing thing. I bit my lower lip, struggling to breathe even when the fresh air outside hit my face.

Fuck. I was going crazy for sure.

This floor was too smooth. I was bound to slip and break my hip.

"Here?" He halted near a small spring outside in the courtyard of the restaurant. An artificial lawn splayed around it. It was a cute little space to walk back and forth.

I nodded, playing with his pace. His legs were longer. He didn't let go of my fingers, adjusting my bag's strap diagonally on his shoulder.

"Woops!" My heel sank in the grass and I caught his arm.

He hastened, pulling me up but I did the Cinderella, dropping one shoe behind. Fuck. This was so embarrassing. Bury me in this grass.

"Fuck this bed of grass!" I mumbled. He walked over and picked up my shoe.

"Take them off." He pointed at my feet.

Our heads snapped at the same time. And I could see it in his eyes that he thought the same thing. That one stupid time when I tried to take my top off because I was confused.

I threw my head back laughing.

"This is a complete deja vu." I giggled, taking off my shoe. He picked it up, hanging my heels loose in the hook of his fingers. The free hand, he held my hand with.

"I couldn't believe you actually went for it back then." He scoffed.

"I got confused!" I blushed. "And I just touched my top! I didn't actually take it off."

He continued laughing, our feet padding on the soft grass. The cold soothing against my skin. I couldn't believe I was actually walking hand in hand with my boyfriend in an artificial patch of grass. It felt weird.

And my stomach hadn't stopped flipping. His hand gently squeezed mine and my chest shuddered.

"So, did you like the lace I wore back then?" I looked at him, cheeks still pink from how shameless I was being. But something told me I could. "Back when you tore my top off."

His fingers squeezed me harder and his jaw shifted. "You don't want to know what happened to me."

"Did you kiss my Cirq profile photo?" I scoffed and then laughed imagining it in my head. "That would be so weird."

"Let's go with that." He smiled.

"Why?" I let his hand go and turned around to block his path. "What did you do?" My eyes widened. "You know, you're scaring me with this. You didn't do something weird like stalking me or—"

"No. No." He shook his head fast. His throat bobbed as he tried to look at me but clearly, it was way more difficult than what I was thinking.

I blushed harder.

"What did you do?" I squealed, hitting his arm and hopping on the grass restlessly. Then, dread washed over me. I froze. "Wait. Did you, like, jerk off to me or something?"

His eyes blew wide, mouth stuttering but no words came to his defence. This fucker...OH—

"—MY GOD!" My knees almost buckled. I pointed at him accusingly. "You jerked off to me? To me? How—why?" My voice trembled.

"Fuck..." He drove his hands frustratedly through his hair. "You always have to know it all, don't you? I told you, you shouldn't know."

"How do you even expect me not to know something like this?" It was like being destroyed by every secret of this man.

"I'm sorry." He looked like a red traffic light. His breath shuddered, face contorting with the shame. "I'm fucking sorry—I just—I couldn't help myself. I couldn't stop thinking about you. I'm ashamed I did that..."

My whole body stilled.

For a few more seconds, I observed his abashed face. He couldn't look me in the eye. His chin was lowered and his shoulders heaving. He looked like an absolute delight holding my heels like that. But no. I wasn't sadistic.

My throat was tight. I let a breath go, clearing my throat and biting my lip. Once I was stabilized I opened my mouth.

"It's okay."

His head jerked up. "Really?"

I nodded, wringing my fingers around the fabric of my dress. "I mean, you never let me feel unsafe or...anything. I couldn't even have guessed you thought of me that way. So I'll forgive you. But—like, it's not your fault."

His mouth curled in disbelief. "When you say it like that..."

My chest was warm, heart rattling so loud that it could tear my dress open. I twisted my hands behind my back, eyes locked on my feet pulling at the threads of grass with my toes. "Can I...ask you something?"

"Anything." He whispered, desperate to appease.

"What did you...imagine?"

"What?"

I glanced at him, my face in a microwave oven. I could blast at any given moment. My fingers pressed harder behind my back. I gulped, "You...did that to yourself..." I slowly breathed, trembling a bit when his eyes pierced deeper into my face.

I continued, "Did you fantasise...something? Or just thought...of me with that...torn top, you know? Don't make me fucking explain it to you."

My heels slipped from his fingers and landed on the grass with a thump. He stepped closer and his hands slid into my hair. I kept my lashes lowered because fuck this was so embarrassing. But the thrill of it was next to none. His hands were shaking on my skin. As if he was terrified of touching me.

"Do you really want to know?"

I swallowed, bit my lip and nodded.

He leaned closer, his thumb curling around the shell of my ear. "I imagined...you. Every little thing. Even things I shouldn't think about."

I trembled, reaching for his wrist. His fingers teased my earrings, "But it's only because you drive me crazy. Even back then. You were driving me crazy."

And now, I could say the same to him back.