Mastermind

Noah pulled me back towards the bed, slowly he sat down never breaking the kiss, pulling me to stand between his spread legs. A perfect height match. I leaned down just slightly to meet his lips. Both hands found my waist where long fingers rubbed the exposed skin over my leggings. His soft touch was enough to warm my chilly skin. Noah snaked one arm further around me and pulled me back into his lap. I wrapped one around his neck keeping the other between us, with my hand against his chest. The heat between us was mounting and I didn't want it to go any further, so I pulled away, pressing my forehead to his. "Noah" I breathed out.

"I know" he said breathlessly. "I understand, I don't want to either" His words left me speechless; I pressed my lips back to his, this time softly, just one slow kiss before I pulled away.

"Thank you" I whispered through the dim lighting. "I think I'm going to go to bed now" I stood up with his assistance, he then led me to the bathroom door, flicking on the light for me, he pressed one last kiss to my forehead before I snuck back to my room.

When the morning came, I heard the boys downstairs mulling around in the kitchen. I slipped out of bed and headed for a shower. Once dressed with dried hair I made my way downstairs to find the boys just now digging into their breakfasts. "Good morning boys" I said as chipper as I could as I made my way to the coffee pot. Pouring my cup of coffee I heard the muffled responses of the boys with their mouths full. Cup in hand I turned towards the island to retrieve creamer from the fridge when I collided with the door of the fridge.

"Oh shit" I heard Nick from the other side of the door. Of course it was him. I looked down to see broken glass and coffee scattered across the tile floor.

"Woah, woah, woah, you got bare feet" I heard Noah say. As I looked up he was approaching from across the kitchen. He stopped at the edge of the coffee puddle to lean over and grab me, he lifted me with ease, I wrapped my arms around his neck as he moved me and set me down feet away from the mess Nick and I made. "Nick, I think that's your job to clean up" Noah shoved the task onto my brother. As I stepped away I caught sight of Nicholas who seemed to be studying me; we needed to give him an explanation. I padded over to the kitchen table where he sat and took a seat. Nicholas turned his head to me and without words asked the question Noah and I needed to answer.

"I'm not completely sure yet" I turned my head in his direction and whispered to him. He didn't look completely pleased but he nodded and went back to eating. I sat there awkwardly as Nick cleaned up the mess with some help from Noah. When Nick was done cleaning up he poured a cup of coffee and placed it in front of me on the the kitchen table. "Thanks" I looked up too him, he gave me an apologetic smile.

Later in the day I was hiding in my room; the boys were downstairs writing music and I wouldn't dare bother them. A knock on my door alerted me, causing me to looking up from my laptop. "Yes". The door popped open to reveal Noah standing there. "Hey" a smile immediately spread on my face once seeing him.

"Hey, can we talk?" he asked as he entered the room, closing the door behind himself softly. He stepped over to the bed and sat towards the end facing me.

"Yeah, I think we need to" I said as I closed my laptop and set it aside. "Where do you wanna start?" I asked as I pulled my knees into my chest nervously.

I want to start by letting you know that everything that happened last night, I meant it." He held eye contact as he spoke. The brown eyes pulling any walls I had down faster than I could work to keep them up. "I meant everything, I want whatever you'll give me" I felt my chest tighten, it was hard to believe I wasn't dreaming in this exact moment. I had to work to find my words before I spoke.

"I don't want to rush into anything, but I think I know what I want" I said. "I'm going to go out on a limb here and say I think we want the same thing" I went on as I carefully studied Noah's face. "Let's play it by ear" I suggested. With that a smile covered his face before he leaned forward to press his lips to mine gently.

"I hate to say this, but I need to get back downstairs soon" Noah said against my lips.

"Just a few more minutes" I whispered as I grasped his jawline and pulled him back to me.

"We need to discuss Nick next" I said after letting go of Noah and pulling back.

"Uhm, I don't want to think about that" Noah said obviously uncomfortable at the thought.

"Are you scared of my brother?" I teased as I leaned forward on my hands on the bed.

"No, I'm not scared of Nick, I'm scared of how he protects you" Noah clarified. "You should have seen him that night, I'm surprised his head didn't explode."

"He's always been that way; he'll have to get over it eventually"

Noah opened his mouth to speak but he was cut off by the boys downstairs "Noah!" they called. Noah stood from the bed and went to my bathroom door.

"I'll see you later this evening, okay?" he said so sincerely I had no choice but to believe him.

"Okay" I nodded before he disappeared into the bathroom. I watched him close my door, then I heard his bathroom door open and close then his bedroom door open then close, footsteps to the stairs, before the small rolling sound of him jogging down the stairs.

Late in the evening I found myself being pressed into my mattress with Noah towering over me. His lips were attacking mine with forceful passion leaving me breathless. I was in shock; I had never been treated like this before and I couldn't get enough of it. I never want him to stop this. Noah's large hand slipped under my shirt finding my breast where he pulled back the cup of the lacy bralette I had on and got to work. "Fuck" I breathed out as Noah worked his way down my neck kissing and sucking in all the right places. Does this man have a map of my body? How does he know all the right things to do? This doesn't make any sense.

"Is it too much baby?" Noah asked, his lips still moving against my neck.

"No" I breathed out. "No, it's not" Noah went back to kissing me this time softer, slower in a painstaking manner that I'm pretty sure is going to kill me soon.

Noah worked his way back to my lips where he finished with sweet soft kisses before pulling away and sitting up on his knees. He looked down at me with satisfaction. "Are you proud of the mess you've made of me?" I teased him as I straightened out my shirt and bra.

"I'm very proud" he answered with a smirk painted on his face. "Anyway, I think it's time for bed" he said as he checked his phone before slipping it back in his pocket.

"It was bedtime when you came in here" I retorted.

"Well, then it's definitely bedtime now, sweet dreams princess" he said as he stood from the bed, he quickly leaned forward and pressed one last kiss to my forehead before he headed to the bathroom door and disappeared for the night.

"Whatcha doing out here all alone" I heard Nick say as he came from the back of the house. It was early morning and I had made my coffee and went to sit out on the deck in peace, well as much peace as I can get in a house full of boys.

"Just thinking" I sighed while setting my cup on the side table by my seat. "I have a lot on my mind"

"Care to share?" Nick asked as he took a seat across from me. No, I really don't want to, but he'll watch me like I hawk if I don't open up a little.

"When I worked at the burlesque club I gave up any shot at a relationship, any kind of love" I paused. "Now I don't know so much." I looked at Nick, he looked clueless, like he'd never helped anyone with this kind of problem. "So what did you tell your friends to keep them away from me?" I asked curiously, leaning forward.

"Uh, I told them any attempts were strongly advised against, and anything disrespectful was unacceptable" Nick said with a slow nod.

"Oh, so I'm not completely off limits?" I teased, my words caused Nick's face to twist. "So I could fuck one of your friends?" Nick's face showed a look of utter disgust at my words.

"Take that back, please take that back" Nick pleaded as he scrunched his eyes closed.

"Fine, fine, I'm sorry I joked about fucking your friends." I said as I reached to grab my coffee cup again.

"You're just as mean as you've always been," he said as he stood up and headed for the house.

"You're just as easy to bother as you've always been," I countered before he slid the door closed.

The boys spent another day downstairs writing, this time finishing at a reasonable hour. Now I sat on Noah's bed while he scrolled through his tv looking for a movie for us to watch. "What kind of movie do you feel like watching?" he asked, his eyes glued to the screen across the room.

"Doesn't matter" I had other things on my mind that would keep me occupied throughout the duration of the movie and well into sleeping hours. I had nagging thoughts eating away at me since last night, why does he like me? What does he see in me? it's been killing me. But the thought of how pitiful I'd feel actually asking the questions kept them in my mouth.

After a few more minutes of scrolling, Noah settled on a movie, dropping the remote on the side of the bed, he climbed in behind me and pulled me in close. Although I've had relationships in the past I've never been a little spoon before. The thought of it almost felt like neglect on my ex's part, but I know it's not that serious. Only serious enough to brim my eyes with tears where I lie in Noah's bed as I realize my sad reality with spooning. After a few minutes the tears seemed to have accepted they weren't leaving my eyes and they went away on their own as my thoughts ran free as the movie played in front of me. What the movie was about, I can't tell, because I don't know.

There was a part of me that wanted to try and sleep since I couldn't stop thinking and I had no idea what was going on in this movie but my thoughts kept me up, along with the new thought, he probably doesn't want me falling asleep in his bed. This is getting out of hand.

When the movie finished I waited for the credits to roll for a minute before I sat up. "Where are you going?" Noah's sweet tone almost broke me.

"Back to my room" I said simply as I stood from the bed.

"You could stay here if you'd like," he suggested as he sat up. "Is everything alright"

"Yeah, I'm fine" my voice said otherwise as it cracked while I spoke.

"Alex, what's wrong?" Noah stood from the bed, stepping closer to me.

"I can't talk about this right now, it'll make me cry" I said with a slight shake of my head.

"Well it's either you cry or I stay up all night trying to figure out what I did wrong" Noah countered.

"You didn't do anything wrong; I just get in my head about things, it's not you" I felt the tears brim my eyes again.

"Then tell me, tell me what's bothering you" Noah pleaded as he took my hands gently.

"I just don't see what you see in me" I couldn't look at him while I said it, my eyes found the floor and I looked at our bare feet.

"What?" he breathed out. He pulled into a forced hug. "I can't believe you'd even say that"

"What do you mean?" I asked as I fought back the tears that still threatened to spill down my face. I pulled back from the hug to look up at him as I spoke.

"I've wanted you since I first saw you on that stage that night" he looked down at me still holding me tightly.

"So you saw me sexually?"

"No, I saw your smile, then your eyes. Do you think it was a coincidence I went with Nick to meet you at that diner that night? Do you think it was a coincidence I sat next to you and not Nick? I've wanted you since then, I think you're beautiful, inside and out. And I want to be with you Alex." Noah's sincerity made the tears spill over causing me to bury my face in his chest, wetting his t-shirt. "Will you please come back to bed?"

"Yes" I nodded as I pulled back from him again.

"I want you to talk to me every time you get in your head like that okay?" Noah instructed as he pulled me back towards the bed. "Can you do that for me?" 

"Yes" I sat down on the bed in front of Noah looking up at him with my tear stained face.

"Please don't ever cry again. I can't take it" Noah said, a small smile peaking on his lips.

"I can't make promises like that" I giggled with one last wipe of my under eye.