One Last Time

Sorry for late...

——Lorelei POV

Weeks after that dinner with Luthor, napag isipan kong sundin na lang ang payo niya. After all, if I want to move on I should start by fixing everything in my life. I have to end the things that's stopping me from going.

I contacted Loki if he can spare a moment with me. Just one last time before I end my feelings for him. He agreed on meeting me at the same restaurant that Luthor and I are supposed to have dinner when he interrupted it.

Thinking how long I have waited for him to see me as a woman, I could not regret it. However, I also pity myself for being stupid for a long time only to get friendzone at the end of everything. I don't blame him though, from the very beginning he made himself clear. He doesn't fall in love. He doesn't do romantic things. He find it all cringe that he can throw up by just thinking about it.

Now, I'm going to do this. Once and for all, I would close whatever feelings I have for him all this time. I will end the ridiculous me by hearing him and clarifying everything between us. If you ask if we could still stay friends after this talk, ofcourse we could. But I don't think it will be the same as before. But then again, who knows? Maybe it's just for a while. After all, we have a great relationship as friends. I even become his right hand and vice president remember?

I wore a red casual long-sleeve high waisted dress paired with my black caged stiletto. Ever since I graduated highschool I learned wearing this kind of dress and shoes when I attend some casual parties in behalf of Rios company. It's not my thing but I have to do it sometimes for the sake of my father and besides, Alistair is with me whenever I have to go to those parties whenever he's invited too. Let's say, if he's not invited to a party I am invited to, I wouldn't come.

Anyway, I arrived at the restaurant just in time. This place really feels romantic to me. With the calm music playing and some chitchats you'll hear, it's kinda relaxing. But I didn't come here to relax and enjoy the night. I came here for someone and there he goes, sitting comfortably on a table for two. It's near the window and I thanked him for choosing that part.

"Table for how many ma'am?" A waiter asked when I still stood there.

"Ah, no sorry, I came for someone and I already saw him. Thank you by the way." I said, pointing at Loki who saw me already. The waiter escorted me to our seat. He pulled the chair for me and said "Thank you" before sitting comfortably and look on the menu.

"Have you ordered something already?" I asked as I glance at him.

"Not yet, just choose what you want and I'll go for it too. I'm not that picky on food you know that."

"You aren't picky but you don't eat anything I cook. You always say it will just upset your stomach."

"Oh come on. Did we came here to argue about that?"

Yeah right. I rolled my eyes and heaved a sigh. I just told my order to the waiter. Loki also just told him what I ordered then he's gone in our sight.

"Why did you say that this will be the last time? Are you cutting our connections and even our friendship?" He asked after a few minutes of silence.

"I'm not cutting our connection, even our friendship. That's the last thing I want to do. We are friends even before I have this feelings for you. Breaking our friendship because is not my thing." I said calmly. I am honestly amused to myself for not bursting.

He's gone silent for a while. I stared at him and look away when I couldn't take it anymore. I am still hypnotized by those eyes. I still feel millions of emotions just by looking at his eyes. Damn him for making me feel this. He couldn't even catch me when I fell.

"Then why did you say it's will be the last?"

"This will be the last because I want it to be the last. The last time I will talk about my feelings. Last time I will think about it. Last time I will try to fight it." I said to him. I pursed my lips as I fight the urge to cry. It's too early to get emotional.

Come on Lori! You can do this! This will be the last. As if the heavens heard my call when the waiter appeared before us with the food that we ordered. I fixed myself first.

"Enjoy your food ma'am and sir." The waiter said

"Thank you" I replied and smiled at him.

The moment that the waiter left, silence enveloped us as we started eating our foods. It's actually delicious that's why I just focus on it the whole time.

---

When I said we didn't talk while eating, I mean it. He didn't start any conversation after that so did I. But we shouldn't end this night without proper closure. I need this. Now. So I'm the one who opened a topic.

"When I saw you at the cemetery when we were highschool, I immediately conclude that it will be hard for you to move on. But I didn't mind because it's just months since she left so it's just natural. But when I saw you again buying flowers, I realized how much of a fool I am."

I wiped my tears. It's gonna be a tough night again I guess. But I still continued not minding if he's seeing me crying because of this stupid feelings I have.

"Why did I let myself in that kind of situation? Why did I even fell? What's wrong with me?" I said that desperately as if looking for answers that I know he couldn't give.

He's just there staring at me but eventually adverted his eyes. His face is emotionless but his eyes are expressive. Na parang nahihirapan din siya sa sitwasyon namin. I understand him though. Pinagkatiwalaan niya ako. We treated each other as siblings. We protected and cared for each other as friends and all of a sudden I confessed. Napakagaling.

"Then here you are acting like I don't matter—" I was cut off when he replied.

"Lorelei you know how much you mean to me—." I cut him off too.

"But not the way I cared for you! Not the way I see you. Not the way I want to be cared of by you. Far different from everything."

"Because of all people, you knew how much I am not for those kind of things. Lorelei, we've been together how many months. We lived together on the same apartment and you know who I am. I am Loki Mendez, who doesn't fall inlove and you..." He paused for a while before continuing "you don't deserve someone like me."

My mouth slightly opened and I gasped for air. What's he saying?

"What?"

"You don't deserve me. You deserve someone who can do everything for you. Someone who'll protect you from everything. Someone who'll make you smile everyday. Someone who'll always be there for you. Lastly, someone who will never make you a choice. You only deserve the best things in this world, Lorelei."

Ang nakaawang kong bibig ay patuloy na lumaki ng bitawan ni Loki ang mga salita g iyon. I looked away from him. I'm amazed by it by I also felt sad. He can't do those things for me? That's it? Alam ko namang Hindi niya masusuklian ang nararamdaman ko pero bakit ganito pa din kasakit? Harap harapan niyang dinudurog ang puso ko. Again, I wiped my own tears.

"Of all people, I cared for you the most. You're always there for me. You always save me and accompany me in my lowest of lows. So right now all I want is for you to be happy. And if by letting you go is the only thing that will make you free from me, then I would do it. But you should let go of me too." I gritted my teeth, still not looking at him. How dare he decide for me.

"I want you to have a life away from me if that's what you want and move on Lori. Don't stop yourself on finding your own happiness. You only deserve better and I, sadly can't give you that no matter how I want to. But always remember that you are a very special person to me. There's no one else that can replace you in my life. I will only have one Lorelei Rios in my life."

———Next will be the last.