Chapter 15

{trigger; homophobic slurs}

John's POV

Hangovers suck as it is, but they suck even more if at 9:00am you are awoken to your phone ringing like crazy. I reached over my bed and grabbed my phone from my nightstand. As soon as I opened my eyes, my headache got 10 times worse. Still, I picked up the phone. Private Caller. Strange."Hello," I whispered into the device, making my best effort to not wake up Alex."I don't know who you think you are, Jacky." Holy shit. Immediately, I sprang up out of bed and walked into the living room. I had the worst headache, but this call overruled all the bad in my life. This call was the bad."You gonna answer me boy?! I don't send you to a fucking ivy college for you to treat me with disrespect you fag!" At this point I was practically shaking. "I'm sorry, sir. I just woke up.""I don't care, nor do I remember asking. I know you got a brain in that head. You're my offspring for fucks sake. Use it kid. Now, like I asked before, who do you think you are?!"I knew that this was not going to be a quiet conversation, so I put on some shoes, grabbed a coat and my keys, and headed out the door."I don't know what you mean.""My god. You are dumber than I remember." I hated this man. I hated him with everything inside me. As I continued on the phone, I walked out if the dorm building. I headed away from the college, not caring where I was going. "You were and still are useless, but still I payed for you college tuition. I payed it all. I expect you to send money back to repay me. I also expected you to do it without me needing to remind you, but I guess I was mistaken by that too.""You payed for college, but you want me to pay you back?! Are you crazy?""You little son of a bitch. You are so fucking lucky that I don't want to be seen with a fag, or else I would be beatin you down right now. And you know what, because I'm nice, fucking keep your whore money. You probably need it anyway to pay for all that food you eat. You certainly did a good job at eating my food back home." Home? No. That place was no home. I had nothing to say to him. I had anger and disgust, but no words. "Have a great day Henry." And with that, I hung up and turned my ringer off to ensure that I wouldn't hear him calling me back. I fastened my pace to a slow jog. I didn't know where I was going, but quite frankly I did not care. Suddenly I found myself running, and running fast.

I don't know where I am. I haven't stopped moving, except for when I puked next to that tree, and again in a garbage can. Now I'm here, wherever that is. I left the dorm at around 9:30. I checked my phone to see that it was noon. That's a lot of going nowhere. Still looking at my phone I saw seven missed calls. Woah. One from that same private number as before. One also from Eliza. Five from Alex. Shit. I left so fast I didn't even leave a note. I turned my phone off, so I didn't get the calls. As bad as I felt for not answering, I didn't call back. I had no words in my mind. I was completely drunk last night. I had no memory of any fun that may have happened at Herc and Laf's place. And now, the first thoughts of today were about my evil father. I looked up at a street sign. 226th. Shit that's far. I felt in my jacket pocket for my MetroCard. I was not walking 110 blocks back to the school. Just my luck, no card. Great. And as if god just didn't see enough misery in my face, I felt drops hitting my head. I hung my head backwards and let out a loud "WHY!!". You can probably guess what happened next. Yup. It started pouring. I started jogging back towards the way I came from. There wasn't any lightning or thunder yet, so I figured it was safe to be outside still. Fun, excited, pleasing?No. But safe? Yeah. The more I ran, the more my mind started to drift of of Henry and back onto my destination. 116th street. Columbia University. Dorm building B. Room 1776. Alex. He was my main goal. He was probably worried sick. I would be. He probably thinks I was so buzzed from last night that I just ran away without thinking. God, I really don't remember last night at all. All I know is that I drank a lot. *BOOM*Shit. Why does god even bring the thunder?! (😏) I started going faster, my head throbbing hard, and my stomach wanted to get rid of anything inside. But I kept running. I stopped at 156th because of lightning. There was way too much metal outside, and with my luck I could die easier than a mouse in a field of cats. After sitting inside a Starbucks for around ten minutes, the lighting stopped. I got up as fast as I could, and pulled my sopping wet curls into a ponytail. Once back on the sidewalk, I was running again. At around 130th, I stopped again to puke, but then I just kept going. I was almost there. When I got to the Starbucks where I worked, I sprinted faster than ever before in my life. I was almost there, the thoughts of my father pretty much all left behind at 226th. The only thing running across my mind was Alex. He was probably so worried. Still running, I pulled out my phone, blocking it with my free hand from the rain. 2:13 pm. I was gone so long. I ran every last step there was to run. Once I got to the dorm, I burst through the door. Either I never locked it when I left, or Alex unlocked it for some reason. Sopping wet, I took of my shoes and jacket. "Alex?" No answer. Shit. "Alex?!! Are you here?" Still nothing. I slowly moved away from the puddle I was making on the floor, trying not to slip. He wasn't in the kitchen or the dining room. I went into the bedroom. Still no sign of my roommate. "Lex? Are you here? It's John!!" Boom. This storm was relentless. Almost immediately I heard something come from the bathroom. I ran over, praying it would be Alex. I opened the door only to find Lex sitting in the tub with a blanket wrapped around him. Was he... crying? I was in shock. I looked around. Just then, something on the floor caught my eye. I looked down. I flinched slightly, taken back by what I saw. Walking closer to Alex, I bent down and picked up the blade from the floor. I placed it on the counter, then joined Alex in the bath. I wrapped my arms around the crying man. I looked at his arms to see that he hadn't done anything. Every time a flash of lightning or a crash of thunder filled out apartment, Lex would inch closer to me. Then, like someone hit me over the head with a ton of bricks, I remembered last night, all of it. Keeping my hands on his shoulders, I pulled away from Alex. He lifted his head so that his eyes met mine. He was shaking and tears were pouring down his face. And then as if those same bricks hit him, I could see that Alex knew what I was thinking. He could see that I knew, that I remembered. "John?" I was in so much shock that I was just staring straight at the man. I took in everything. The way his hair flowed down his shoulders. His eyes. They were so tired. Me leaving without notice probably didn't help him. Finally, I opened my mouth."Last night." Alex looked scared, like he didn't want to hear what was about to come out."I kissed you, Hamilton."

(My chapters have too much drama and angst. God. I apologize. That was a lot. Wow. Thats all i have to say. Im gonna go write the next chapter.)