Chapter 14: Dazai the Invader

Dazai had gotten some actual good advice from Kenji (unlike some people who would just relentlessly tease him instead of actually giving advice), and he'd made up his mind to confess to Kunikida. For real this time. He was still a bit nervous, but Kenji had made a good point that if even if Dazai were to get rejected, at least he'd be getting his secret out in the open and he wouldn't have to feel like he was being secretive towards Kunikida.

He showed up to work, albeit very late. He assumed that Kunikida would be there, since Kunikida was rarely the type to skip work.

But once Dazai got there, Kunikida was nowhere to be found. That's odd...really odd, Dazai thought. Was Kunikida not at work for once? If that was the case, this just might be the most shocking thing since that time Kunikida forgot about his notebook.

Speaking of the notebook...

There it lay, right there on Kunikida's desk. Kunikida couldn't have gone far if he didn't have his notebook; he never went anywhere without that thing.

Dazai was tempted to look through the notebook, even if it was just to take a little peek. The curiosity Dazai possessed was killing him. True, Dazai wanted to die, but not by curiosity, for that was quickly proving to be far too painful. Therefore, he decided that it was of the utmost importance that he find out what Kunikida wrote in his notebook. He began to reach for it.

But then he jerked his hand back. Dazai, what do you think you're doing?! Kunikida-kun has already told you not to read his notebook!

And despite that, Dazai found himself beginning to pick up the notebook. But I need to know what he writes...

No! Don't do it! Dazai told himself. He walked away from Kunikida's desk so the temptation wouldn't overcome him.

Ranpo entered the room. "Dazai? You actually showed up today?"

"Is it really that shocking?" Dazai asked.

"Honestly, yeah," Ranpo answered.

"Ouch. But fair enough."

"You look like you're struggling," Ranpo remarked.

"I am," Dazai admitted.

"What's up?" Ranpo questioned.

"I'm debating on whether I should read Kunikida's notebook or not," Dazai announced.

"Simple. You don't," Ranpo responded.

"But I'm curious!" Dazai protested.

"And Kunikida's told you not to read his notebook. Not only that, but you promised him you wouldn't. If you did now, then that would break his trust in you," Ranpo pointed out.

Dazai sighed. "You're right..."

"As always," Ranpo said smugly.

"Of course I don't wanna break my promise, but come on. Aren't you a little bit curious, too?" Dazai wanted to know.

Ranpo shrugged. "It's probably boring adult stuff."

"Dude, you're older than Kunikida," Dazai pointed out.

"I know, but I'm a kid at heart and he's...well, let's just say he's not. I was gonna say something else but I prefer to save my roasts for those who really deserve it," Ranpo replied.

"Yeah. In other words, not me," Dazai said.

"Yes, you," Ranpo argued.

Dazai sighed. "Well, at least it's not Kunikida who's getting insulted."

"Yeah see, I wouldn't do that to him," Ranpo stated.

"But you'd do it to me," Dazai lamented.

"Mhm," Ranpo agreed.

Dazai hung his head. "What a shame."

"Nah," Ranpo disagreed.

Dazai looked over at Kunikida's desk again. "Ugh...I really want to read it..."

"Don't," Ranpo commanded.

"I am confliction," Dazai declared.

Yosano was next to enter the room, and of course she saw Dazai struggling.

Oh boy, here comes trouble... Dazai thought.

Yosano smirked. "Well, well, what have we here?"

"Dazai wants to read Kunikida's notebook," Ranpo announced.

"Wow, Dazai. You'd really betray your boyfriend like that? Tsk tsk," Yosano scolded.

"We're not boyfriends!" Dazai protested.

"Not yet," Yosano corrected.

Dazai sighed. "I mean, I did decide I'd confess to Kunikida, but that doesn't mean he'll feel the same way about me."

"Oh, I'm sure he will," Yosano replied.

"What makes you say that?" Dazai wanted to know.

"Remember how he found you trying to die? He never left your side once I was done giving you a checkup, and honestly, he was probably counting down the seconds until I was done so he could come in and watch over you," Yosano revealed.

Yosano's words gave Dazai hope, but at the same time, he didn't want to get his hopes up in case his fears were true.

"Either way though, I wouldn't read Kunikida's notebook if I were you," Yosano advised.

"Yooooosssaaaaaaannnnnoooo...aren't you the tiniest bit curious?" Dazai asked.

"Oh yeah, definitely. I'd love to know if Kunikida writes about you and if so, what he says about you. But you already promised Kunikida you'd stay away from it," Yosano reminded him.

"You're right..." Dazai reluctantly admitted.

"Of course I am," Yosano agreed.

"Uuuuuuuuuuuugggghhhh...the curiosity is killing me. I know I want to die, but I don't want to die a slow, painful death such as this," Dazai complained.

"Too bad you won't be dying. You promised Kunikida you wouldn't," Yosano pointed out.

"Man, I need to stop making promises," Dazai thought aloud.

"Well, you already made them and there's no backing out now unless you want Kunikida to never trust you again, which obviously you wouldn't want," Yosano replied.

Dazai sighed. "I know..."

"I think this is the most I've ever seen you struggle," Ranpo commented.

"I do believe you'd be right in saying so," Dazai agreed.

Kyouka then entered the room.

Oh no, Dazai thought.

"So, has Dazai caused any trouble yet?" the child asked.

"Surprisingly, he hasn't actually done much," Yosano replied.

Dazai sighed. "And here we are again with another chapter of 'The Girls Gang Up Against Dazai'. Honestly, don't you guys ever get bored of it?"

"I think you already have your answer," Kyouka declared.

"Y'all are mean," Dazai complained.

Yosano grinned. "Thanks, we sure try."

The next person to come in turned out to be Atsushi.

"ATTTSSSSSUUUUUSSSHHHHIIIIIII! YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW GLAD I AM TO SEE YOU!" Dazai squealed, running over to the teenager.

Atsushi looked confused. "Uh...thanks, Mr. Dazai?"

"The girls are teasing him again," Ranpo explained, noticing Atsushi's expression.

"That's unfortunate," Atsushi commented.

"I know, right?! What did I do to deserve this?" Dazai demanded.

"Exist," Kyouka deadpanned.

"Well, it's not like I want to," Dazai sulked.

"Too bad. You promised Kunikida you wouldn't die," Yosano pointed out.

"I know, I know..." Dazai replied.

Atsushi's eyes widened. "Woah! Mr. Dazai actually promised someone he'd stop trying to die?! And it was Mr. Kunikida of all people?!"

"What do you mean, Kunikida of all people?" Dazai asked.

"Oh nothing...just that I couldn't see you making that promise to anyone else," Atsushi admitted.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Dazai wanted to know.

Atsushi looked at Kyouka and Yosano sadly. "Guys...he's hopeless."

"That's what I'm saying!" Yosano agreed.

"He literally admitted to loving Kunikida's screaming, and he apparently doesn't know what you're implying?" Kyouka added.

Dazai looked outraged. "Wow, Atsushi. You're ganging up on me now, too?! I expected more from you..."

Ranpo walked over to Dazai and put a hand on his shoulder. "Dazai, dude...I regret to inform you that they're right."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" Dazai screamed.

The noise caused Kunikida to come rushing into the room. "Dazai, are you ok?!"

"I am now that you're here," Dazai replied.

"That's good," Kunikida said, trying to remain serious and ignore how the simple sentence made him feel.

"Kunikida, your boyfriend over here is so dramatic. Can you please do something about it?" Yosano asked exasperatedly.

That caused Kunikida and Dazai to avoid looking at each other again.

"Yosano, it's like that's the magic word," Kyouka commented.

"I know, right?" Yosano agreed.

The girls smirked at each other.

"So, who was the one to confess first?" Kyouka asked.

Let it be known that Dazai and Kunikida had once again been transformed into human tomatoes again.

"I...just remembered I have a lot of work to do so I'll be back...later I guess. Maybe a whole lot later," Kunikida spoke up, leaving the room.

Dazai sighed. "Dang it, girls! You made him leave!"

"Not our fault he can't handle the obvious truth," Yosano replied, shrugging.

"Kuuuunnnniiiiikkkkiiiiiiiiddaaaaaa...cooooooooommmmmmmmmmeeee baaaaaaaaaaaaaaacccckkkk..." Dazai begged.

But Kunikida was long gone at this point. And as it turned out, he'd been so overcome by embarrassment that he forgot to grab his notebook off his desk.

Dazai gazed longingly at the tantalizing book.

"Uh...Mr. Dazai?" Atsushi asked.

But Dazai didn't answer.

Atsushi waved his hand in front of Dazai's face.

Only then did Dazai snap out of it. "Sorry, what?"

"You kinda froze," Atsushi announced.

"Oh yeah. I was just thinking about how great it would be if I could read Kunikida's notebook," Dazai replied.

"Doesn't he have it with him?" Atsushi asked.

Dazai shook his head. "It's on his desk."

Atsushi glanced at Kunikida's desk, and sure enough, there was the notebook in all its glory. "Mr. Kunikida didn't take his notebook with him?!"

"To be fair, he was probably super embarrassed by Kyouka and Yosano's comments and wasn't thinking," Ranpo pointed out.

Atsushi nodded. "Makes sense."

"Uuuuuuuuuuuugggghhhh...I wanna read it," Dazai complained.

"I'm sure you do, but you shouldn't," Atsushi advised.

"But Atsushi..." Dazai protested.

"I can practically hear you begging Kunikida not to ever trust you again," Kyouka remarked.

"She has a point, Mr. Dazai. I doubt Mr. Kunikida would want you reading his notebook, especially without asking him first," Atsushi added.

Dazai sighed. "Why do you guys have to be right so often?"

"Consider it one of our many talents," Yosano replied.

"Seriously though, Mr. Dazai. Don't read it," Atsushi repeated.

"I know I shouldn't and the last thing I wanna do is ruin my potentially non-existent chances with Kunikida, but I'm just curious to see if he writes anything other than all those plans and ideals he always mentions," Dazai admitted.

"Ruin your chances, ya say?" Yosano asked, wiggling her eyebrows.

"I-I didn't mean it like that!" Dazai stammered.

"Oh, but you did," Kyouka insisted.

"Ok, ok, girls. That'll do," Atsushi interjected.

"Atsushi...you are a true lifesaver," Dazai said.

I won't say it to Mr. Dazai's face, but I do agree with the girls. What else could he mean when he says he doesn't want to potentially ruin his chances with Mr. Kunikida? Atsushi wondered.

Yosano shook her head in disapproval. "Dazai, you are such a liar."

"What?!" Dazai asked, shocked.

"You're claiming that when you said you didn't want to ruin your chances with Kunikida, you didn't mean it in that way, but just earlier you admitted you wanted to confess to Kunikida," Yosano reminded Dazai.

"I said that?" Dazai asked, feigning cluelessness.

"Yes, you did," Yosano confirmed.

Dazai gave up on trying to play dumb. Of course no one would believe him. "I still want to, but my fear that he won't feel the same is keeping me from actually going through with it."

"Come on, Dazai. I didn't give you all that advice for nothing," a voice spoke up.

Dazai turned to see Kenji entering the room. "Oh hey, Kenji!"

"Hi, guys!" Kenji greeted.

"Kenji, you gave Mr. Dazai advice?" Atsushi asked.

"Indeed I did. Lots of it," Kenji confirmed.

"It really did help," Dazai added.

Kenji then noticed Kunikida's notebook. "Is that Kunikida's notebook over there?"

"It sure is," Yosano replied.

"He doesn't have it with him? That's really shocking," Kenji commented.

"That's cause of Yosano and Kyouka," Dazai announced.

"What'd they do?" Kenji wanted to know.

"They were teasing Mr. Dazai and Mr. Kunikida again," Atsushi explained.

Kenji nodded. "I see."

"We don't deserve this harassment," Dazai lamented.

"Maybe Kunikida doesn't, but you sure do," Yosano corrected.

"What do you have against me?" Dazai asked.

"Everything," Yosano replied.

Dazai sighed. "At least I can count on Kunikida to not feel that way about me."

"Honestly, he's not in his right mind," Kyouka remarked.

"Yes, he is!" Dazai argued.

Eventually, everyone left to take care of what they needed to, and Dazai was left alone again. He glanced at Kunikida's notebook, feeling his temptation grow. He desperately desired to take just a small peek. But everyone was right, if Dazai were to do that, there was no doubt he'd lose Kunikida's trust. Dazai was once again left questioning why everything had to be so complicated.

Upon closer inspection, Dazai noticed that Kunikida's notebook had been left open, and before he knew it, he couldn't stop himself from taking a peek at the page it had been left open to. As it would turn out, the page was one of the many where Kunikida had written about Dazai.

The page read: I'm once again questioning why things have to be so complicated. I really do wish I could just tell Dazai how I feel. While I can't predict whether he'd feel the same, I'd feel better if I could just work up the courage to confess to him...

Dazai didn't have a chance to read any further, for he heard someone enter the room. When he looked up, there stood Kunikida.