Chapter 96

Chapter 96: (Helena's Point Of View!!)

 *April 19, 2006*

"When we were 16 years old Deshaun came over to my house and threw down a pair of shoes and told me to put them on. I asked him why and he told me; because I am tired of you wearing them dirty ass shoes. I apologize for cussing in church. Proof, loved people, and people loved him. He was just a people magnet. When you first met him, you wanted to know more about him. Without Proof there would be no Eminem, no Slim Shady and no D12. You're the man Proof. No one will or can ever replace you." Marshall said up at the altar.

 He wiped away his tears then walked to his seat. He was sitting in between Paul and 50. He would just lean forward and look down. I was sitting behind all the guys with Dina Rae, Nicole, Julie and Caroline. I couldn't stop crying. I can’t believe Deshaun is gone. I have only known him for four years and he was such an amazing person. Marshall has been doing really bad. I know for sure that he is some kind of drug right now because Dre told me he felt like he needed to take it in order to get through this. What am I going to do to help Marshall? He hasn't slept for days and I have been trying to stay up with him. I sat up a little and put my hand on his shoulder. He didn't sit up, all he did was wipe his tears away. I feel so horrible. Seeing Marshall like this breaks my heart. As I sat there I was just remembering all the memories I had with Deshaun. How he use to call me Lopez and would always make jokes. He was such an admiring person. I ask God to have him in his glory. In my head I said

"I will forever miss you Deshaun. Thank you so much for taking care of Marshall. I ask you to always watch over him. Take care of my little Madelyn up there too. Keep her out of trouble. Rest in peace Proof."

 I cried through the whole ceremony.

(EMINEM'S POINT OF VIEW!!)

After the ceremony we headed to the cemetery. I stood there and watched my best friend go underground. I feel like a part of me died with him. I couldn't stop crying. My best friend is gone. Forever gone. I feel just how I felt when I lost Madelyn and my uncle Ronnie. What am I going to do? Deshaun was my anchor. He was there for me when I couldn't even take care of myself. I started using drugs again. I had to take these pain killers to get through all this. Without them I don't think I could have stood here and watched my brother leave me forever. Helena walked up next to me. She put her hand on my arm. I looked up at her. She has been staying up with me so she looks so tired and worn out. Her eyes were red from crying. She grabbed my hand and and put her fingers between mine. We just stood there in till Proof was completely gone.

"I will miss you Doodi." I said out loud.

 I grabbed Helena's hand then we started to walk away. We went and said bye to everyone. It hurt so much to have to say bye to Proofs mother, wife and kids. Me and Helena walked to the truck. Helena was going to drive. We got in.

"Helena..." I quietly said.

 "Yeah?" She said.

 "What am I suppose to do?" I said as I leaned forward and bowed my head. I started to cry.

 "Marshall... Marshall look at me." Helena said through her tears. I slowly looked up at her.

 "We are going to get through this. You need to be strong. I am here for you... I will always be by your side... No matter what. I know that nothing can take this pain away but you need to be strong." Helena told me.

 The only thing I could do is nod my head. There is one thing that takes away the pain of everything... Drugs...