𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝟑𝟖

CHAPTER THIRTY EIGHT communication is key

❊ ❊ ❊

RAFE HADN'T BEEN able to tear his lips off me since the moment I fell back into his arms.

For as long as I continued crying, he kissed away every tear that marked it's path on my cheek, making up for where he couldn't reach with the pad of his thumb. The combined exhaustion caught up to both of us eventually, leaving me to rest my head on the skin of his rising chest.

I counted each completed breath, subconsciously syncing mine with his. Every part of me was linked to him in some way, be it by plan or not. There was something so odd about how alike we were, despite the surface level differences.

We both needed someone to be there for us through thick and thin, and later grew to realise that it was no coincidence that we'd found each other when we did.

Rafe's hand rested on the side of my face, toying with several strands of my hair and tucking it back into place. The other ran down my exposed thighs, reaching the curve of my waist and retracing it's previous steps. His touch was the opposite of sexual, the intimacy between our bodies being simply out of longing.

"I missed you so fucking much." I muttered against his torso. "I shouldn't have left you, I was stupid."

"You've told me that like 20 times tonight. You're not stupid, I'm the one who went over to Amelia in the first place." his fingers followed the line of my jaw, tangling back into my hair shortly after. "I'm here now, with you, that's all that matters to me."

"Are we ever gonna talk about that?" my eyes attempted to meet his. "About her?"

His chest rose once more, sinking once he exhaled his deep breath. I struggled to recall a single time where Rafe and I had a conversation about our feelings- one that didn't end in either one of us shouting. My request made it clear that neither me or him were used to opening up, particularly using spoken words.

"We can talk about it in the morning if you'd rather sleep. I don't wanna keep you up if you're tired."

"I wanna get it out of the way." I sat up against the other side of the couch, taking his hands into mine. "It's taken us this long."

"Ask any question and I'll answer." his thumb circled the ring on my finger, the band twisting slightly with each delicate movement made.

"Why did you do it?" I spoke simply.

"Firstly, I'm gonna be completely honest with you, I promise." he sighed in reassurance. "It might not sound like the truth, but I swear I'm not lying."

"Just answer, please."

"Basically, Amelia's a college dropout, like me. Our parents were both embarrassed of us, and thought that playing Cupid for their kids was somehow supposed to solve that. I guess being the 'new couple' or whatever was meant to take the heat off her for dropping out. She didn't know anything about it being fake, which made the whole situation harder with her obsession on top of everything."

His words were slow yet panicked at the same time, clearly being the first time he'd spoken about the situation to someone else. The news of him being forced into this reminded me of the similar situation I was in with Noah, and just how hurt I was when Rafe got mad at me then.

My hypocrisy was catching up to me, leaving me with no option but to accept my growing flaws as a person.

"I told my dad that I didn't wanna be strung along for some bullshit game of pretend, but you know how hard it is to get a word in with him. Knowing how he is, Cameron Development is probably somehow involved too. Couldn't even tell him about you 'cause you know he'd go crazy."

I paused in silence to take in his explanation, not expecting it to be half as severe as this. His abrupt disappearance after our first night together was believed to have no meaning behind it, but the ugly truth only upset me more on his behalf. Having not known the lengths of his perspective, I felt awful for every little outburst I'd taken out on him- the reasoning not even being his fault.

"Is it over?" I asked the question I most dreaded the answer to.

"As over as it can be. Haven't had to talk to her since the pharmacy, not like I had anyone on my mind but you anyway."

"Surely you weren't thinking about me that much." I laughed, glancing down at where our fingers interlaced.

"You're constantly on my mind, Cami. Especially when I was stuck by her side. How else do you think I finished when she blew me?"

I attempted to bury my face in my hands out of embarrassment, obstructed by Rafe's still being linked to them. No matter how repulsive the fact was, my lips couldn't help but curl into a grin, finding his statement more amusing than I should've.

"I did not need that image in my mind." I looked up at him with the same smile, seeing my expression reflected back through him. "My fucking God, that's disgusting."

"It's payback for that one time I had to see you and John B macking each other in the ocean. My eyes are still recovering."

"And now he's fucking your sister. Don't you just love how things come full circle?"

"I guess that means you were with the Pogues all this time." he quietened his voice, quickly breaking out into a yawn.

I crossed my legs in my lap, preparing to explain everything that had happened on my part of our split. Rafe was quick to notice my discomfort, taking one of his hands from mine and placing it on my knee.

"Hey, we don't need to talk if you don't feel up for it. I don't want you to cry again."

"It's probably best if you know." I swallowed, covering our connected hands with my free palm. "I'm not crying over them again."

"You sure?"

"I'm sure." I exhaled. "Well, I went to John B's a few hours after I left you. I was wasted as shit, thankfully not high though."

His grip tightened on my fingers, using his touch to make me feel safe so that he didn't interrupt me. The two of us understood each other even in silence, a relief since I'd previously have to shout to get something across.

"I thought they'd at least care to see that I wasn't okay, but I guess I was wrong. JJ didn't even care enough to open the door when I'd knocked, so I had to let myself in. And then, when I spent the night, they kicked me out the next morning 'cause Sarah told them about us."

"That bitch. Y'know, Sarah, she's always fucking things up for me. I swear to God, if she says anything to you, I'll make her regret ever opening her mouth."

"She's your sister." I laughed shortly, "Don't put me over your family."

"I'll put you over anyone." he paused after his sentence, often a recurring theme when he'd talk to me.

"JJ called me earlier today aswell." I went back on track with my explanation. "I only picked up thinking it was gonna be you. He's such an ass, kept telling me to end what we have 'cause you're gonna 'break my heart'."

Rafe laughed at the act of me mocking JJ's voice, his smile contagiously hitting back at me. I'd never seen him break away from his typical scowl before I got to know him, the moments being ones I treasured no matter how many times they'd occur.

"I'm never going back to them, not when I have you." I brought his hand up to my lips, pressing them delicately against his skin.

"They don't deserve you, and neither do I. You're perfect, too fucking perfect."

In all honesty, I was the one who didn't deserve him. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't see how everything played out so that I'd be blessed with his company. His flawed perfection went beyond anything I was worthy of, and I'd be the luckiest girl known to mankind if he thought about me how I did him.

I shifted from where I'd been sitting, straddling my legs around either side of his body. The link between our hands was torn, using the newfound freedom to hold onto his face. I admired every fraction of his features, only imagining how dilated my pupils were the longer I stared at him.

We leaned into one another at the same time, the underlying taste of beer on his part making itself known. I made up for each lost moment over the past days with how I kissed him, savouring the feeling like I hadn't before. I couldn't afford to take him for granted again, seeing that no one was bound to treat me like he did.

He tangled his fingers in my hair once more, this time using it to hold me closer to him. There was a sense of hunger in how he moved, the kiss being a relief to whatever he'd restrained recently. Regardless of how much I craved the feeling of him, I broke my lips away from his, wanting to cherish as much of the intimacy between us as possible.

"You okay?" Rafe whispered, his forehead resting against mine.

"One of us ends up leaving whenever we have sex, I don't wanna rush into that again." I spoke honestly- without hesitation, for once.

"I'm never spending another moment without you," he reassured, "but we don't have to do anything you don't want."

"You're not angry?"

"Why would I be angry? C'mon, we can talk more tomorrow." he gestured to the section of the couch beside him.

Following his orders, I fell back into Rafe's arms, the comfort I felt in them being a feeling I knew I could never match. My fingertips traced over his skin, using any part of him to confirm that this dream was a reality.

The feelings he led me to feel were like something out of a novel. It was the furthest from normal in the context of relationships, but that made it so much more fulfilling to experience. Every minute with him was a minute worth living, making me the happiest I'd been in a long while.

A faint whisper came from his direction, attempting to be covered by a series of pecks planted on my forehead. I peeled open my already-closing eyes, shooting a glance of confusion up at him.

"Hmm?" I hummed, making it clear that I'd heard some inaudible part of his whisper.

"What?" he rasped in response.

"You said something."

"Did not." his lips formed a smirk, fighting back the smile that came with the flush on his cheeks.

"If you say so. Good night, Rafe." I met his lips with a short kiss.

"Good night, my pretty girl."

It was safe to say I fell asleep with the widest grin on my face- all a result of being back in his arms.

❊ ❊ ❊

The smell of fried food woke me from my sleep, opening my eyes to see myself alone on the outdoor couch. Last night's breeze was replaced by the same humid air I was used to, the salt water scent being stronger considering how close we were to the beach.

I stared through the large windows to see a shirtless Rafe in the kitchen, his focus being on cooking for the both of us. For as long as I could, I took in the sight with awe, appreciating just how lucky I'd be to wake up to him in the coming days.

His eyes caught onto me after a few minutes, causing him to gesture over to me with the spatula in his hold. I didn't bother to pull the discarded shorts over my legs, the only coverage I had being provided by my band tee and a thin layer of lace.

"What a sight to wake up to." I grinned, stepping into the room.

"Could say the same. It's like you're tryna kill me before the day's even started."

Positioning myself behind where he stood, I wrapped my arms around his shirtless frame, keeping them low enough so that his movement wasn't obstructed. I peered over his shoulder to get a better glimpse of the pan, my lips meeting his skin once more.

"We only had bread and cheese in the refrigerator. Don't know what I was expecting considering the Glissons are abroad."

"I'm not complaining. Gotta say, I love a good grilled cheese." I kept my chin in the crook of his neck, taking in what remained of his cologne.

"Pass me a plate, gorgeous?" he turned to kiss my cheek, finishing off what was left of the cooking.

"Don't kiss me." I scrunched my nose. "Morning breath."

"I've already brushed my teeth. Wheezie came by earlier, dropped off a few things for us."

"I'm talking about me, I literally just woke up. I look and feel like shit." the porcelain clattered on the counter, filled shortly with the sandwiches he made.

"Eat. Maybe then you'll shut up." he gestured to the grilled cheese, half of his already being consumed.

"What a gentleman." I shook my head. "I'm gonna take my time now, just for you."

At the sound of my statement, Rafe picked up the food from my plate and shoved it in my face. The grease spread all over my chin as I struggled to take a bite, all amidst my constant laughter.

I noticed his sandwich falling back onto the surface, picking it up straight away. As an act of revenge, I mocked his exact movements, ensuring to coat as much of his face in oil as possible.

After a short moment of back and forth fighting, he lifted me off my feet to prevent another attack. The pair of us couldn't stop smiling, regardless of how gross we were being. I wiped over my grin with the back of my hand, using the other to gain as much stability in Rafe's arms as I could manage.

"Put me down, I'm still hungry." I fixed my arms around his neck, his not moving from my waist.

"You'll eat it cold later. The sandwich isn't gonna run away."

"Rafe, please."

"Although I love hearing you beg for me, I have other plans." he tutted, carrying me in the direction of the staircase. "You can thank yourself for complaining about how you look."

"And how does carrying me fix that?" I attempted to pull away again, my efforts serving no purpose.

"I'm taking you to the bathroom." his hold on me tightened. "We're gonna take a shower."

"We?" I furrowed my eyebrows, confused at his use of the plural.

"Yes, we. Guess you could say this is prep for what I have planned for the rest of the day."

Curiosity was never something I was good at resisting. However, I'd never been more curious to find out what Rafe meant by his statement. He had obviously been planning something the second he woke up and, recalling the previous mention of his sister, Wheezie being involved caused more concern to form.

There was only one way to find out what this day entailed, and I could feel myself starting to enjoy it a bit too much.