EIGHT

CONTENTS:

-- 022The Past is Hard to Let go of

-- 023Knock Knock

-- 024It is not Worth it to see you Cry

+------------------------------ +0 2 2The Past is Hard to Let go of

Lucas was staring at the horizon, the sun was beginning to set in front of him. He turned in hopes that he could still see the empire behind him, but all he could see was the forest. He was long gone from the empire, there is a long distance in between, away from the princess. He shook his head immediately to turn back in front and continued his journey.

Ever since he left, all that was in his mind was the Sacred World Tree. And Athanasia. Nothing else matters but only that. Making Lucas scoff at the thought because it wasn't that he missed the princess, it wasn't that he wanted to hear her voice. It was the image of her face, looking so broken when he pushed her away. It was as if he had lost everything as he saw the look on her face. It brought Lucas heartbreak.

When Athanasia kissed him it was everything that he had ever dreamed. To hold her close, to have his arms around her, feeling her touch. But as he closed his eyes, he had thought to himself that it would just be better for him to just stay by her side, not getting more across the line. Lucas was afraid. He had never cared for someone before since his master died, the man who he was treated as if he was his son. To have Athanasia by his side was enough for him, but to become more than that, to be more connected emotionally, Lucas could not bear it.

Seeing his master disappeared in front of him, he told himself that he could not bear another heartbreak of losing someone, leaving him alone in the dust.

Since he was born, he wasn't loved by his biological family, pushing him away as if he was an outcast. And there was the magician of the black tower who took him under his wing and became his apprentice. Lucas started to master the beauty of using magic, it was amazing as he could have imagined. His master showed him different doors that lead to many discoveries, opening his view about the world that he had thought was small, much wider.

And because of that his master was like the father that had ever wanted.

Years passed by, his master found a family and Lucas' circle grew. It gave him a hard time to adjust as he was just used to being alone with his master but he still stayed. He watched every action, every emotion that would spill out from his master's heart as if he was a different person. It was new to Lucas yet he could not understand. Even through books, he could not understand what it is to love or what it is to be a family. Even if he asked, his master would only answer him for something that would even make himself more confused.

Even until the death of his master's family, Lucas could still not understand.

Seeing his master's expression as they stood on their graves, he asked himself,

Why is he looking in pain?

Why did he have tears?

What's making him cry?

Lucas couldn't answer.

The thought of losing someone special, Lucas still couldn't feel a thing.

Until his master died.

And it became his fear.

It was one time. One time that he had lost someone precious in his life, yet it broke his heart into a million pieces. It made him not want to feel anything. He still could not understand, but he could feel it. The pain, the anger, the regret. He felt it all in his heart. Clawing their way deep inside of him until he was broken. And there it was.

It was as if Lucas had lost everything he had in him.

He used a spell on him. He tried everything to make this feeling disappear, yet it still lingers. There, deep inside his heart, was still the pain he had when he had lost his only family. It was still so stuck there that he thought that he could not be saved at all.

Until he saw Athanasia.

A girl covered in blood. In tears, her expression was screaming that she was in pain but it was not from the wound on her wrist but it was something deep that made her feel in pain. And Lucas knew that face. The face of a neglected child who was done in everything and is afraid of what comes in the future. In Athanasia's eyes, he saw himself. And through her attempt to die, he saw his master. It was a chance.

A chance that he could still change something in life. Even if it's not his. If he could fix something or someone, would he be free from the shackles that kept him from going?

He had thought for this case to be something that could help him forget his past even for just a short while, but it could be something that could help him with his pain in his heart.

He had thought to stay. To keep everything in line, to fix everything. The broken family. The curse. The black spell. He wanted to fix everything. It was for the sake of himself.

Not for the sake of someone's smile.

No. Not at all.

One thing that Lucas did not expect during his stay in the palace.

It was the sudden attachment of himself to the princess.

And he knew he was done for the moment he had seen the brightest smile from her. The smile that he was the one who caused. It was as if the brightest star had landed in front of him, shining brightly, making him squint his eyes yet still stare in awe. And for the first time in his life.

His heart started to beat rapidly.

It wasn't only just once or twice. It always happens whenever he's with her. Whenever he touches her. Whenever he makes her smile. It was until he could not fight the urge to touch her for more when she suddenly kissed him, begging for him to stay, to stay by her side. Lucas knew that he had done something wrong. It was definitely wrong.

It was not the fact that he is not royalty. It was not that the emperor did not approve of him. It was not that he did not like her. And it was certainly not because she was crowned princess. It is because he was afraid. When he held her, kissing her back with such passion, he imagined for a day where she would also disappear from his eyes just like what his master did to him. His master's death left a deep scar in his heart that was too hard to heal. And the thought of Athanasia leaving him gives him a new kind of fear.

That was when he had realized how he had fallen deeply in love with her.

And it was so hard not to.

That's why Lucas felt wrong.

And it was wrong.

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

Lucas sighed. The sub began to set. He felt tears filling his eyes from his deep thoughts. He could only take a shaky breath, letting out a whimper as he wiped his tears away from falling.

He knew it was wrong.

But he wanted to love again.

+------------------------------ +0 2 3Knock Knock

Athanasia was back to her normal life. Except that Lucas wasn't there beside her to accompany her. The thought of him makes her sigh, dropping her head on her book that was lying on her desk. She had just finished studying her lesson for the day, and here she was thinking of something to keep her alive and to kill the boredom that's been creeping up to her.

Days had passed by and there wasn't been a day where Athanasia was laughing all day as Lucas left her for his journey. He did not even explain where he was heading to just because she had to ruin her relationship with him with a heated kiss-which it irrelevant to remember again and think that just did not happen at all. It was all just a hallucination, Athanasia said to herself.

She felt better when she was comforted after by her father, which was a surprise but she didn't bother to point it out since she needed those comforting words. What Claude said made her feel optimistic about herself and she was able to get back up again, though she was still a bit down about that incident. After that, she has been hanging out with Claude these days, but that died down soon after.

She had heard that Claude just suddenly locked himself up in his room days ago. It made Athanasia worry. What makes her curious about her father's wellbeing was that she was told not to visit him in his room. Felix did not tell her the reason and just told her that not to walk in Claude's room as any cost. The way Felix told her about it made her want to go in. She just wanted to check on her father. Being told to go away makes her worried about her father's well-being.

Though, one night, Athanasia was walking down the hall after a nice walk outside under the moon as she missed going outside at night. She walked by Claude's room with such caution. Walking across the door, she heard a loud thud, making her jump, shivers ran down her spine, almost making her spill her lamp. Out of curiosity, she knocked on the door gently only to be yelled at her father with a slam on the door. He yelled, "GET OUT!!" His voice frightened Athanasia, making her stay frozen in place. She was lucky enough to be seen by Felix who just came back from a night patrol and took her back to her room.

It was as if Claude's past self came back. Athanasia knew that it was still early for her to think that her father finally softens around her. But it still surprised her. She cried all night in Lilian's arms after that incident. What's more frustrating was that she almost called for Lucas to be by her side, only for her to wake up to reality that he was gone. It broke her more.

But Athanasia can't help but think deeply about her father. The way he yelled at her. It was as if he was in pain. His voice was mixed with pain and anger. Was there something wrong? She began to question. She can't help but worry more despite being afraid of Claude. He is still her father after all. Her only family. Of course she would get worried no matter what. Even if she tried to force herself to leave her father, the thought of him being alone with no one by his side but the people who feared him. At least there could be someone there who would still worry for him.

Just like what her mother did.

Her existence what's made her hope that her loving father was still there. The man who her mother used to love deeply in her heart.

Athanasia showed a smile at the thought. She took a deep breath and sat up. She began to clean up her things before she leaves her room. With nothing to do, she decided to move her body around. Maybe she'll find something that might interest her.

She told herself that.

Yet she finds herself standing in front of her father's door.

Or what she would call, the doors of hell.

The feeling was still there.

Athanasia was anxious.

It was as if there was someone calling for her to come. Was it really her worry for her father that brought her here? Or is it something else?

She was told not to knock again. Not to approach the door again. She was told not to. But she chose to break that promise.

Her knuckles was on the door, ready to knock.

Her thoughts were yelling not to.

But her body decided to knock.

She felt like her body was controlled by something she can't stop. Her body felt numb. She wanted to scream for help. Someone! Someone! She felt dragged. She wanted to stop. Athanasia started to feel afraid as she made the first knock.

The second.

The third.

The door slowly opened.

Claude was standing in front of her. His eyes darkened. It wasn't her father. It was someone. She felt danger.

She wanted to cry.

As the expression shown on Claude's face appears a smile.

+------------------------------ +0 2 4It is not Worth it to see you Cry

Athanasia whimpers as she was being pulled inside. She finally felt her body again. She can control herself again, yet she couldn't run anymore. She was locked inside, by someone. Someone who's not her father.

Athanasia finally knew. This wasn't Claude at all. It was as if he was being controlled by something. She felt something dark and heavy coming from her father that made her want to crawl in fear. After those years of being punished by her father, she thought that it was him, she thought that she was the one who did something wrong. But as her eyes glowered as she stared at Claude's body, she finally knew that it wasn't him all along. That unfamiliar feeling that she always feels whenever she is called to be punished by Claude, it wasn't him at all.

After those years. Athanasia finally knows.

Claude grunted, he was holding his wrist tightly as if he was fighting himself. "... Athanasia..." He called, his voice was hoarse.

"Father...!" Athanasia replied as she stood up.

Claude clicked his tongue. He began to punch himself, making Athanasia gasp, her hands on her mouth. "Father don't do that!!" She yelled. She tried to take a step close but she immediately walked back when Claude threw a vase in front of her. The vase broke on the floor, glass was scattered. It was good that Athanasia wore a thick dress, the shards didn't get to hit her skin and hurt her. "RUN!" Claude yelled at her. It was the same voice that he used before. "I can... I can still hold him..."

She was told to run, but Athanasia just stood there, frozen, eyes wide. "I..." She stammered. She tried to think of a way, beginning to think of her choices. As soon as she lifted her head, she yelled back, "I can't leave you!!"

Claude cursed under his breath. He was staggering. "Why... why you..." Hus voice suddenly changed. "I almost had her...! You... You should have just stayed put!!" He punched himself again. And again. And again. Athanasia began to panic as she saw blood splattered on the floor, mixing the spilled water from the broken vase. Claude paused for a moment then looked up to face Athanasia, it was the same grin again that sent shivers down her spine. She knew that it was the time that she needed to escape.

But as she was about to run, Claude caught her wrist, making her yelp in pain. "You're not getting away!!" He yelled, his voice was different. It wasn't his at all. "I have waited for all these years to obtain your body! And I have waited enough!!" His grip was tight as he pulled Athanasia close, making her scream in pain. "Now that that annoying magician is gone for a while, this is a perfect time to kill you!!" He held her hair to stop her from fighting. "And what's more perfect to kill you than using your father's body," he happily sang.

Not long after, they heard loud knocks on the door. Athanasia could hear Felix calling for them on the other side.

"Ahh... poor Claude..." The stranger whispered as he swung his fingers to use his mana to keep Athanasia in place. "Losing another important loved one in his life..." He pinched Athanasia's cheeks which he received a glare from her. The stranger scowls, rolling his eyes as he pushes her face away. "... you're just like your father..." He muttered coldly.

He paused for a moment, staring at Athanasia. He started to hum, tapping his chin. "What should I do to you...?" He muttered. "It's boring to just kill you right away. What's the fun with that?"

His grin widens. He took a step closer. Athanasia's fear grew but she held her glare. She cannot afford to show any weaknesses in front of that man. Her body shivered as she felt her neck being caressed by him then started to choke her. "Ah... And that magician... I wanted to see the look on his face when he comes back to see your lifeless body on the floor..." He commented, his eyes glinted with such interest. "... What a good revenge after what he had done to me all those days..."

Athanasia had noticed that the eyes of her father suddenly turned red. It was like there were two pools of blood staring back at her. The sight of him made her sweat. She wanted to look away, squint her eyes and hoped for those eyes to be gone. But she did nothing. She was trapped. She was being held. She can't do anything.

This was the realization that her life might end this time.

And it scares her.

The door opens, there were royal guards running in with Felix in front. But they immediately stopped when the stranger held his finger out to stop them as he gestured to show Athanasia in front of them. "Take another step and I'll destroy your beloved princess..." He said in a whisper. Athanasia heard some of the guards being confused as it was their Majesty that was standing in front of them, but Felix stood still, not saying a word. He knew something. Athanasia gave Felix a look which the latter returned with a comforting smile that he hoped that she would calm down, though it did not help at all.

The stranger continues to speak, sharing his plan to everyone present in the room. Every word that escapes his mouth made Athanasia fear for him even more. He still hasn't done anything yet she saw trembling under the restraints around her body. She could see in Felix's eyes that he was furious as he listened. She could feel the frustration in his eyes that he could not do anything without harming her.

It would only take for a miracle to happen for them to be saved.

For Athanasia to be saved.

And to their surprise, the restraints around Athanasia's body were gone, dropping her down on the floor, making her gasp for air. She looked up, feeling relieved but as she saw what was in front of her, her eyes widened.

There was more blood spilled on the floor like a small fountain. It came out of Claude's body.

Her body froze, all the life in her eyes slowly faded as she saw what happened.

Claude's hand was inside of his chest. His eyes were glitching from red to blue. He began to cough up more blood, his eyes widened at what happened. His body started to slouch as he slowly turned to face Athanasia who was still on the floor, watching everything happen in front of her, her mouth went agape. Despite being hurt, Claude tried his best to take a step close, his other hand reached for her as he walked towards her.

"A... Atha..." He tried to call for her name.

Out of reflex, before Claude could kneel on the floor, Athanasia immediately caught him, trying to get him up. "F-Father..!" She called, her voice was broken as he tried to hold back her tears. "No... No, no, no, no.... this can't... father!!" They both landed on the floor due to Claude's weight, but Athanasia still tried to keep him up. Tears finally went out of her eyes as she panicked, calling for Claude. "Father!! Come on... You can't do this.... I can't.... No, please no..."

Claude only chuckled. He still has enough strength to lift his hand up to wipe the tears away from Athanasia's cheek. Athanasia leaned onto his touch even if her cheek was now stained with Claude's blood. "It'll be alright...." Athanasia sniffled as she nod. "F-Felix is calling for the doctor... Please... Please hold on for a bit longer..." She held the hand that was on her cheek, holding it tightly. "You'll be alright... please hold on... please..." Her voice began to squeak through her sniffles as she begged, holding for her father's hand. "Don't you dare.... Please..."

She leaned her forehead against Claude. "How could you..." She whispered. "... Please... it will be alright...." She whispered although it seemed like she was telling herself that as she cried.

Claude only smiled, he moved his face away, opening his mouth to speak, "Stop... Crying..." He croaked. Athanasia just nodded. "Okay... So stop talking... keep your energy... just hold on..."

Claude tilts his head, he lets out a cough. He held back Athanasia's hand that was holding his hand.

"It is not worth it to see you cry..." He whispered, still smiling. Tears started to roll out of his eyes.

"Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!!" Athanasia yelled, she started to cry heavily. "Stop that!!! You can't leave me!!! Father, you can't!!!" She gently pulls him into a hug. "You can't..." She hiccuped. "You can't... promise me... you can't..."

Athanasia was still begging for her father to stay, not knowing that Claude had let go of her hand, his eyes closed.

A tear rolled down on Claude's cheek.

I never got to say how much I loved you. My dearest daughter.

-----sorry for the wait....a moment of silence please...