one

"Before he joined the Scouts, he was an infamous rogue in the capital's underground market."

"It really has, Captain Levi."

Everyone could hear the bitterness behind your voice. What resided within your emotions, lacing your words was an obvious display of a grudge. No one knew why but Levi certainly did. 

Sighing, Levi got off you, his hands still holding your wrists together. Levi looked over his shoulder to one of his soldiers bearing the name Jean. Seeing the older man, the young boy quickly searched for what his captain wanted. Soon enough, you felt cold metal against the cold skin of your wrists. 

"Are you arresting me, Levi?" You asked, your tone much more mature than the last time he heard you. 

"Kirstein, take her to the rendezvous spot," he ignored you. 

"Is this how you greet an old friend, Levi?" You laughed slightly. 

"You were the one who tried to kill me," he whispered close to your ears, his voice deeper than what you remembered. "Hurt my subordinate and I'll have you in a fate far worse than death," he threatened, tightening the metal cuffs around her wrists.

"Where will you go, Captain?" The light-haired soldier asked.

"I'll find the childr-"

"Stop," you interrupted, having their eyes on you. "What will you do with them?" You questioned, only worry within your voice. 

"We're not here to hurt them," Levi answered. "The Queen had decreed that all children of the Underground are to live in a farmhouse on the surface within the walls," he continued, sharp eyes looking straight into yours. 

"If you hurt them, I swear to God-"

"Who do you think I am?" He looked at you with an expression of disbelief. 

'I thought I knew,' was all you could think of.

⤱

"I heard she used to have a family but they left her alone down here."

You let your head lean back against the wall of the building. The light from above shone on your face, the air fresher than any you've breathed in times of late. The sky was a beautiful bright blue, the white clouds scattered around nature's ceiling. 

A smile brightened your face at the feeling of the surface. How long had it been since you got up there? You weren't sure. But it felt too long. Too long since you had tried to sneak up to the surface due to the fear of the consequences. 

But the day was nice. Even if you were sitting with a bunch of young soldiers who were watching you like a hawk with your arms cuffed behind your back with metal chains, you could still feel a rather warm flutter in your heart at the experience of the surface. What a nice day for a reunion, too. 

Unfortunately, it was not the reunion you dreamed of. Soon enough, you began hearing footsteps from the stairwell that led to the Underground City. Children and teenagers were walking out freely, a few soldiers holding their hands with smiles plastered widely, gently guiding the children. 

You recognized most of them since they were all under your care. They hadn't noticed your cuffs restricting you but they saw you and waved with happy smiles. 

'Maybe they really are saving the children,' you thought, anger leaving you. 

"Are you really just here to bring them to a safe home?" You asked the soldier who had taken you earlier. 

"Yes," he answered firmly and instantly, no trail of lies in his answer. 

After a while of waiting under the sun, the man with the same dark undercut hair emerged. He gave some orders to the soldiers, words you really didn't care to hear. Because you dared not to look at him. Because if you did, God knows how angry you could get. 

You listened as the young soldier told you to stand up, guiding you towards a carriage which he then got into as well. Already waiting inside was Captain Levi and someone with tied-up brown hair, their eyes overlaid with a pair of spectacles. 

"Eh, Levi? Jean? Who's this?" They asked, extremely confused.

"She was the one who took care of the children in the Underground," the soldier next to you, Jean, answered. 

"I see," the four-eyed replied. "My name is Hange Zoe. What's your name?" 

Your eyes were looking outside the window of the carriage, watching as you passed by the streets of the Capital. Upon hearing their question, you looked over at them. 

Your sharp eyes lazily bore their glasses-covered ones. Not a word left your lips. Instead, you just turned to look at the man in front of you. 

Letting yourself stare at him in silence for quite some time, you were sure you made your feelings obvious, leaving the others to make an assumption that you were clearly not a fan of Humanity's Strongest Soldier. 

Levi stayed silent as well, his eyes having an emotional contest with yours. The silent yet cold and eerie interaction between you and the Captain left Hange and Jean confused. The two even shared a look of confusion before looking back at you and Levi. 

And somehow, you two maintained the situation during the entire trip to the Headquarters. Once the carriage had stopped, Jean helped bring you out before the other two got out as well. You turned to see that only your carriage was there which could only mean that the carts bringing the children were going elsewhere. Elsewhere and away from you. 

"Where are you taking the children?" You inquired with worry. 

"Don't worry, they're going to the farmhouse to meet the Queen," Hange replied with a genuine smile which brought slight comfort to you. 

"And why am I here?" You frowned. 

"To meet the Commander of the Scout Regiment, Erwin Smith," they answered. 

'Guess you didn't finish your mission, after all, Levi,' you thought.

You followed them inside, your wrists beginning to ache with the constant friction against the metal cuffs. But you endured it. After some time of walking in long corridors and halls, Levi, Hange, and Jean finally stopped in front of a closed door. Knocking the door softly, Hange was in the lead. 

"State your name," you heard a deep voice of a man from inside the room. 

"Section Commander Hange Zoe-"

"Enter," the man from inside answered. 

Nodding slightly to themselves, Hange reached for the doorknob. Slowly, they turned it before opening it wide so the man inside could see the additional 3 figures standing alongside Hange. 

The man was sitting behind a large wooden desk, the wide room clearly for someone with rank. Not a surprise that the Commander of the Survey Corps would have such an office despite the lashing the Regiment would receive from the citizens. 

He had short blond hair, matching his thick eyebrows that rested above his blue eyes. He gestured for them to enter and so Hange and Levi entered first. You walked in after them to leave Jean walking behind you to close the door. The man in official uniform made eye contact with you. 

His blue eyes were darting daggers of intimidation. Yet you maintained your bored composure. You let his eyes study your very own, not caring that you slightly did feel scared under his intense gaze. Even as his eyes were completely latched onto you, he was talking to Hange and Levi. 

You didn't focus on anything they said because you were trying your best to focus on maintaining your demeanor. The next thing you knew, you were being led to another room. It was much smaller and it looked like a hostel room to be slept in. 

Jean unlocked the cuffs restraining your wrists and immediately, you brought your hands forward to slightly massage them, relieving them of the growing ache. Hange, Levi, and Jean were all there and not one of them was scared that you might do something crazy that would put them in jeopardy. But that was probably because they knew that even if you tried to do so, Levi would stop you. 

"Why am I here?" You broke the silence, impatient to have the answers to the questions that wandered your mind. 

"You have outstanding ODM skills," Hange began excitedly.

"You're being recruited into the Survey Corps," Levi butt in without hesitation nor sympathy. 

'I don't want to be anywhere near you,' you thought bitterly at the sound of his voice. 

"No," you harshly declined, eyes glaring at him. 

"You don't have a choice," he threatened, taking a step towards you. 

"Woah, Levi-"

"Captain-"

"You're a criminal, you think you have a choice?" He seethed, taking another step forward as he ignored his friend and subordinate. 

"If I'm a criminal, then why am I here?" You scoffed bitterly, not letting him win. 

"Because I arrested you," he plainly said. "If it was up to the Military Police, they'd have you locked up in prison for all the crimes you pulled in the Underground."

You stayed silent. You knew he was right. Of course, he was right. You had done so much to survive the hellhole that you grew up in. You committed way too many crimes to be able to live freely on the surface. But still, could you really forget what he did to you? 

⥀

It was just after you and the others listened to the deal offered by the man seeking criminals. He wanted a set of documents that were meant to ruin his reputation in addition to the murder of a squad leader from the Scout Regiment who wore the name, Erwin Smith. 

It was a troublesome request but once succeeded, all four of you were to receive the passes to live on the surface, above ground. Tempted to leave the hell that had haunted you all for so long, you all agreed. However, it seemed that Levi wanted you to stay behind. 

"Are you kidding me?" You scoffed, crossing your arms as you entered an argument with him. "I'm going along with you!" 

"Absolutely not! It's dangerous!" He protested, raising his voice. 

"More dangerous than staying here?" 

"We need someone to hold the fort down here and there's no one I trust more than you," he reasoned, softening and relaxing his demeanor. "Once we succeed in the mission, I ᴘʀᴏᴍɪꜱᴇ we'll come back for you," he softened, approaching you gently. "I'll come back for you," he added, emphasizing his words.

"ᴘʀᴏᴍɪꜱᴇ me you'll come back for me?" You asked with a sad sigh. 

"I ᴘʀᴏᴍɪꜱᴇ."

⥀

Could you really ignore how he left you and never came back for you? 

'No,' you thought, your fists forming and tightening by your sides. 'I can't. I can't see him, I can't talk to him, I can't work with him. I need him gone,' you thought as tears threatened to form. 

"NO!" You loudly said, your eyes looking down at the ground as you felt your first tear flowing out. 

How long has it been since you cried? 

'Since he left, probably,' you thought. 'Why do I only ever cry when I'm with him?'

"Y/N, I told you-" He tried to persuade you again but you stopped him. 

"THEN LOCK ME UP!" You interrupted angrily despite the tears of betrayal flowing out of your eyes. 

You lifted your gaze to directly meet his. His grey eyes widened upon seeing your tears. How long had it been since he saw you cry?

'Since the day I abandoned her,' he thought.

"LOCK ME UP! PUT ME BEHIND BARS! I DON'T CARE! ARREST ME!" You shouted, your fists tightening until your skin was turning paler. 

'Why am I crying? This is so stupid! Why am I crying?! And in front of other people, too! Stop crying, for fucks sake! Why does he have so much power over me?! Why?! Even after everything, why?!' The words filled your head. 

"I DON'T CARE! AS LONG AS I NEVER HAVE TO SEE YOUR FACE EVER AGAIN, I DON'T CARE!"