chapter 27 | Inside me

— Next day —

Sunday, October 13, 2019.

5 am.

I open my eyes at the sound of my alarm, and I stop it. I leave my phone on the nightstand but peek at Jungkook. His lips kiss mine without letting me fully come back to consciousness. "Good morning," he smiles against them and kisses them again, but goes forward and nestles his head in the crook of my neck to hug me.

"Good morning," I hug him back but feel delighted as ever, loving this sweet moment. He gives some soft kisses to my neck but acts clingy again. "Did you sleep well?"

"I did, and you?" I close my eyes and pull the blanket higher on us, seeking some more warmth. He crushes a part of my body with his but smiles against my skin. "I did. I slept like a baby."

"You always sleep like a baby after some cuddles," I state the truth but only to tease him, and he giggles but moves back. His hand slides up my body, and he softly skims one finger over my lips. "Shh. Let me brush those lies away."

I laugh uncontrollably, but he presses a kiss on my neck and goes back in his previous position. We both take some time since I set the alarm to wake up at an earlier hour, and I play with his hair, thinking back to last night.

"Can I ask you something?" I peek down but feel the tip of his nose brush my neck up. "Tell me."

"Do you really like to call me mommy?" I ask, not feeling shy about it. "I'm not complaining or anything, but I just want to know."

"I...I kinda like it but...I prefer to call you another way..." he speaks in his morning voice, keeping it low like I asked him to last night. "And what do you like the most?"

"Miss Han...I don't know why..." he answers me but gets my lips to curve up. "But you told me to call you by your name, so I try not to call you Miss Han when we're together."

"Oh, I didn't mean to make you feel like you should call me that. I just thought you did it to be respectful or something, but you can call me Miss Han if you want," I comb his hair back, but he raises his head up from the pillow to gaze into my eyes. I try to fix his messy hair but smile at him.

"You'll still call me your baby boy...or little boy...right?" he licks his lips, his hand tracing some shapes on my stomach, under my clothing. "I will," I reassure this adorable baby and put a smile on his face without even trying, and he leans in to kiss my lips. "I love you."

— Next day —

Monday, October 14, 2019.

12 pm.

"Miss Han," Dongsik startles me right after I left the classroom. "Dongsik," I gasp uncontrollably and put my hand over my chest, feeling the anxiousness this sent through my veins. "I'm sorry, ma'am. I didn't mean to scare you," he smiles, softly, and I stay here. "It's fine. What is happening?

"I...I need to ask you something," he doesn't get to the point right away, so I let him take the time he needs. "Yes, what is it about?"

"I've been having a lot of trouble in French lately, and I wanted to ask if it is possible to have a private lesson? You don't have to accept if you need some rest or something, I just wanted to know..." he asks for some help in one of the most caring way, so I do not decline it. "I have some free time right now, do you want to do it? I'll let you eat lunch while working so that you can feel comfortable, or I can see you at the end of the day."

"Oh, I was about to go back home for lunchtime to see my sister, does it bother you?" he runs his fingers through his hair nervously, but I show him this is fine. "No, it's fine. I hope she's doing okay. I haven't heard any news since the talk we had."

"Well, she's feeling way better, so I'm relieved. That means a lot to me to hear you care for her," his plump lips curve up, revealing his teeth. "I'm glad to hear it. Enjoy your time with her then."

"Thank you, have a good lunch as well and eat," he gazes into my eyes, stepping back to get ready to leave. "Eat a lot too," I tell him the same, but since we get on the same way to leave the building, we both walk together towards the stairs.

"I noticed that you wore a different type of lipstick today," he says, out of the blue, mentioning the new, red lipstick I received this morning. "It suits you a lot."

"Thank you," my response contains some timidity, not used to this close attention when boys or men barely notice what changes about their loved ones. "I'm just telling the truth..."

"I saw that you, Jungkook, and your best friends get along now. It was nice to see you back together," I speak about it since it worried me a lot this weekend, and he expresses some happiness. "Yes, I'm glad we made up."

•••

4 pm.

"See you tomorrow, Dongsik. Be careful on the way back home," I bow to him, standing in the streets and getting ready to get to my car after receiving multiple messages from Jungkook, who waited for me all this time. "Be careful as well, Miss Han, and thank you for the lesson, it helped me a lot," he bows back to me, so I give him a smile, and he leaves with his friend, Minjun.

Now that this is over, I make my way towards my car, where my cute boy is waiting for me. I check my phone to see if he texted me again, and I read the new one I didn't see yet.

< be alone, okay? I want to hug you...:( ]

[ I'm alone, don't worry >

I smile like a teenage girl in front of my screen but glance up, put my phone back in my pocket and hold my bag while reducing the distance between me and Jungkook.

Once I enter the deserted parking lot, my eyes catch sight of him, and his lips part to let his teeth appear and offer me an adorable expression full of delight. I step towards him with my heels, and once I'm at his level, he makes it quick to wrap his arms around me and join our lips.

I would never have expected to love and be so attached to such a clingy and needy boy like him. I don't let it last for too long since we're not completely alone, and I brush his hair back. "I waited one hour here, just to be able to see you..."

"You're cute, but you're going to catch a cold, you idiot. Don't ever do that again, or ask me to give you the keys of my car, at least," I do not scold him but make him know that I don't like the fact he stayed in the cold for so long. "I'm okay," he pecks my lips, staring at them and asking for me to give them to him. "I always feel warm when I think about you anyway," he never lets go of me, his big eyes telling me how much he loves me without using any words. They are like an ocean of hearts, shiny ones. "You're not warm right now, your body is cold, liar."

"Shh," he hushes me and kisses me, giving me butterflies that I did not see coming. "That's not true, I feel warm right now. So that's all that matters."

"All right, but don't do this again," I grab my keys to unlock the doors of my car, but he does not make it easy for me, he bumps his nose into my cheekbone and asks for me to kiss him. "You can warm me up a little...hm?"

"You want mommy to warm you up?" I bring this up after keeping it to myself, but he giggles like a baby while staring into my eyes. "Yes, please," he goes forth and makes our lips collide, so I hold my bag with one hand only and give him what he's craving. He does it, as usual, being soft, delicate, and slow, emitting some cute noises from time to time as if he was too into it to even hear them vibrate through his throat. My fingers brush past his sharp jawline to feel more connected, and I nibble on his bottom lip, making me feel like my kisses always allow him to be relaxed, to feel good and full of butterflies. This is almost as if he was in a dream, the way he makes it so tender and loving, that feels as if he was just traveling through his dreams and enjoying it to the full.

"Let's stop, Jungkook," I calm him down and pull away, his eyes not opening right away. "Hm," he gazes back at me, but his soothed features do not exude the same emotions anymore once he raises his eyes up. He focuses on something else, something behind me, and he darts his eyes back towards me. "What's wrong?" some apprehension restrains me from looking behind, but he cannot even say a word.

I turn my head to check what is wrong for him to react like that, but as soon as he sees the two people standing some feet away, my heart stops for a moment.

We all freeze on our spots, wondering what we should do, what we should say or even think, but Dongsik is the first one to move. He tells something to his best friend, and this one goes away, so he comes closer. I step away from Jungkook but feel extremely anxious about this.

"Dongsik, I—"

"Don't worry, Miss Han. I won't tell anyone about this," he relieves me from all the fright he caused a second earlier. "I just need to talk to Jungkook, can I?" he still asks for permission, so I do not hesitate, I nod and leave them both alone. I enter my car, and they both step away together, filling me with worries.

'JUNGKOOK'S P.O.V'

"Dongsik, I'm sorry for not telling you all about this, I just...I promised her I would not let anyone know about us," I panic, feeling bad for hiding this from my best friends, and he lays his eyes on me, halting himself. "Don't apologize...I understand. I'm not here to be mad at you or something," he takes the heavy weight of the fear away from my chest, and I listen to him. "I...I did not really expect this, to be honest, so I'm a little shocked...but...uhm..." he clears his throat, keeping his hands in his pockets. "I...I kinda want to apologize to you. Now that I know about you two, I understand why you were so jealous about me being close to her. I understand why you got mad at me. I would never have thought that this could happen. I'm sorry for not staying away from her."

"No...you don't have to..." I do not feel any hatred towards him. "You didn't know..." my reply does not get followed by anything but just silence. We both look at each other, my face certainly looking dumb with embarrassment. "I...I'm happy for you. You're lucky to have such a woman, I'm not gonna lie," he chuckles under his breath, being supportive like a good friend like he's always been for me. "I am...but seriously, I...I felt bad for hiding it from you...I knew I could count on you, but I just...yeah...I wanted to show her that she can trust me..."

"I totally understand, no worries," his smile does not fade away. Honestly, he's the best, I don't know how I would have reacted if I was him, I would probably have felt like I was not enough of a good friend for him to tell me about this secret. "I guess you've done a lot of things during all those private lessons, didn't you?"

I chuckle with him, averting my eyes from his nervously. "Maybe..."

"Jeez..." he exhales, sharply. He must be astounded to know that I'm dating Miss Han, I know she's his type, and I do not look like a man that she could date. "Wait so..." his lips part, and his finger points at me. "When she said she has a boyfriend two days ago, she was talking about you all this time?"

"Yep, she was," I nod and bite my lips, loving the way he takes it so well and even laughs about it. "No way, dude...since when has this been going on?"

"It will be two weeks tomorrow," I smile at the thought of it but thought this had been going on for shorter than that. Even though this is just two weeks, two weeks by her side are precious. "Well, you're a lucky guy. That's all I have to say. I swear, I felt like something was different with you when she's around, but never I would have thought that all of this was happening behind our backs."

"I feel like the luckiest man ever right now, I'm not even kidding," I tell him the truth since I can talk about everything with him. "Tell me about it," he raises his eyebrows and scoffs. "If I was you I would have killed Jaehyuk already though, I can already not stand the way he talks to her or behaves with her, so I can't even imagine if she was my girl."

"Oh, I do want to beat the shit out of him twenty-four hours a day, but I keep calm because y/n told me to," I handle the pain this causes whenever I think about this guy. "Well...I guess I'll have to stay away from your woman, now, right?"

"Well, if it is possible," I don't pretend to not feel any jealousy, and he laughs at me. "I'll hold back from being close, but since I can hear you scream inside because you want to know what happened during the lesson, I can tell you to not be anxious because I didn't try anything."

"Good, otherwise I would have killed you as well," I joke with him but still mean half of my words. "Aw. Don't try, you're cute when you try to act tough."

I hit him in the chest, not appreciating this mockery. "Dude. I could make you beg me, don't test me."

He bursts into laughter and thinks low of me. "I think I'm gonna go back to her 'cause I feel the blood boiling inside my veins right now."

"Well, come on, come at me, I'm not scared of you," he asks for it, but since I don't stand a chance, I pretend to be a calm and respectful man who does not want to hurt anyone. "Nah. I wouldn't want her to be worried."

"Yeah, sure," he sneers at me again, but steps back. "Come on, I leave you alone so you can go back to your amazing woman," he peeks at the car, grinning at me, knowing how eager I am to get inside of it. "Yeah...See you tomorrow."

"See you, and tell Miss Han I wish her a good evening and night," he adds before leaving. "Nope," I giggle and move towards the vehicle to grab the handle, and he reacts the same way while stepping away. Now that's he's leaving, I exhale all the tension and enter the car.

I sit next to her and put my school bag over my lap. "What did he say?"

"He's not mad or anything, he actually apologized for being so close to you, he understands why I was so jealous..." I explain in short words, and she doesn't start the car yet. "Oh...he apologized? He hasn't done anything wrong, but I'm relieved to hear that..."

"Yeah...I just...I complained a lot when he was being close to you...because...I know the type of guy he is..." I clear my throat, avoiding her and her features out of shame. "The type of guy he is?"

"Yeah...the type who can make you fall for him easily for sure...he's tall, fit as hell, he has plump lips, he's a gentleman who always stands up for you whenever someone bothers you or makes you feel down...he's like...the total opposite of what I am..." I keep my eyes fixed on the outside, feeling bitter about it no matter what she already asserted. "And I know how his girlfriends talk about him, he's apparently like the best boyfriend a girl could have, whether this is for care, love, or....sexual satisfaction..."

"Ok, so you think that you're just an annoying, unattractive, unlovable boy who cannot make a girl or woman feel good in bed or outside of it. Is that it?" her words get my head to turn towards her, but my eyes to remain low. "I fucked up on my first time, I know I didn't manage to be a man and make you feel good like I know he would have because of his experience. I know how a woman thinks, she's naturally attracted to this type of man because he's experienced, and she knows he will give her all the things she hopes for and needs. So yeah...I feel that way...and the way you sometimes look at him...it's just..." I shrug and realize I'm being too emotional in front of her, letting go of my feelings that should be kept inside. "Tell me honestly, if he had kissed you, told you that he likes you, would you have dated him instead of me? Would you have liked the first time with him more than you did with me?" I do not dare to look at her.

She remains silent, staring at me without even answering my questions.

"You don't want to be honest to not hurt me, am I wrong?" my voice loses its tone and volume, my heart clenching in my chest at the thought of her being disappointed. "This weekend...when we did it...I know you didn't..." I do not use the right words. "You were not satisfied afterward. Maybe you do not realize it because you're a woman, but as a guy, that makes me feel embarrassed, and I don't feel confident anymore since that happened."

She doesn't say anything, letting the unbearable silence linger to torture me. "Jungkook..." she barely pronounces with will. "Why do you speak like I'm one of the most gorgeous, like the most unique and special woman in the world? I'm nothing but a simple human, and no, I wouldn't want Dongsik instead. You make me feel good, and I loved our first time together. I don't even want to lie to you, I loved the fact that you were a virgin because you let me have the control, you didn't act like you knew everything, you made sure I liked it too, and not many men care about the woman's pleasure but theirs. Stop feeling like that, you're better than you thought."

I lick my lips and love the way she compliments me, even though she might be bothered by my behavior. "I guess my words won't change your mind...?"

"They do..." I rest my head on the cushion behind me and close my eyes. "And I talk like that about you because you are an amazing and unique woman. No one cannot love you, you care about everyone, you make sure they feel okay, you brighten up their mood if they are not. You're not just a random or simple woman..."

"I love you, Jungkook. Stop doubting my feelings. Dongsik is just a student to me, I do appreciate him and care about him as a person, but I love you. That is totally different," she makes me open my eyes, and I look at her, feeling like a whiny boy who needs some validation to be okay with myself. "Are you going to pout for the rest of the day?"

I stare into her eyes but smile. "No..."

"Do you need a kiss?" she leans closer to me, but I don't move, I beam like a kid and drop my eyes on her red lips. "I know this can make you feel better," she pecks my lips and solves the problem. "Do you want me to change your mind?"

"How?" I bite my lips, and she leans back, putting one hand on the steering wheel. "I don't know...what could make you feel good in a sudden?"

"Anything that can be done with you," I tell her now that I feel better. "All right then, let's go to my house and play to forget this."

•••

4:20 pm.

I drop my bag on the floor after leaving the entry room. As she's getting her stuff out to lay it on the dining table, her butt and hips capture my eyes, and I stick my body to the back of hers, press a kiss on her neck, and wrap my arms around her. "When do we play?" I touch her ear with my lips.

"Which game do you want to play?" she turns her head to look into my eyes. "League of legends? A horror one?" she bends over to reach out for a pile of documents, getting us both to end in a suggestive position. I grin but bring my hands to her hips, feeling in the mood, feeling like I need to be more confident with her, I give a thrust and lean forth to flatten my hand on the table but realize I went a bit too hard after her thighs hit the edge, and that she had to touch the flat surface to not lose her balance.

This abrupt action of mine makes her gaze at me, but she chuckles at me, and I bite my lips. "I didn't know you could be that rough."

"I don't know what you're talking about..." I drop my attention on her mouth, and she straightens up, so I do so. "Well," she does not stay still but turn around, disappointing me. "I'm going to correct the test you passed today, and if you have more than sixteen out of twenty, we do whatever you want. If you have less than that, no fun tonight."

"No, please, I couldn't focus well because of what happened this weekend...let's do this with another test, hm?" I try to make a deal since I'm ready to play, but she shakes her head and giggles. "No, kookie. You need to learn to focus on your studies more, this is important. I don't want you to fail because of our relationship."

"I won't fail, I'll study to make you proud, you know it," I pout and poke her lips with my finger, passing it over the bottom one to feel the softness of it. She traps it with her mouth when I thought she wouldn't do anything but gives a peck, and she bites it in a kind manner, making it feel like a nibble. "No, Jungkook. You failed the test after your first time, you told me you couldn't study a few days after, and now you tell me the same after this weekend. I know how this affects you now, so since I know that your hormones are a bit wild because of your age, I need to be the one who acts more...I have to be the one who puts the boundaries."

I don't say anything since I don't like this idea but do not want to complain like an immature kid. "Okay?" her lips curve up. "Trust me, this feels hundreds of times better when you hold back and then finally do it. Think about it like when you need to pee, holding in is painful, but after doing it for long and horrible minutes, this feels even better than when you simply go pee to free your barely filled bladder."

"Your example is...very precise..." I laugh, but she chuckles and rests her forehead on my chest. "I tried my best. Now I need to correct the tests for tomorrow," she kisses my neck and moves away, so I handle my sexual frustration like a man and leave. "I need to pee..."

"Wait here," she halts me, so I conceal my nervous smile and turn towards her. "What?" I feel absolutely bad for lying since I tried to get away to relieve the pain she caused. Her eyes land on my crotch, this one that is exposing my state of mind, and she gazes back into my eyes. "You do not need to 'pee', do you?"

I moisten my lips and twist my tongue in my mouth to push it against my inner cheek, but my quietness betrays me. "You stay on the sofa, and you study."

I squeeze my bottom lip with my teeth and throw my head back. I like when she bosses me around, she could still slap me and tell me to get on my knees that I could do it with pleasure.

"Jungkook, you lied to me a second ago. So study, or rest," she sits down on a chair to get at the table and never stops working. "All right, Miss Han," I obey angrily and grab my bag to land on the sofa but throw myself on it. I face the back of it, I take a pillow, and I stuck it against my body to close my eyes and take a rest.

•••

7 pm.

"Baby boy," a whisper in my ear wakes me up, softly, but I hum and do not move, too lazy to do it. "Dinner's cooked," she combs my hair and presses a kiss on my ear, putting a smile on my face by treating me that way. "I cooked lamb skewers to make your day better."

"I prefer your kisses," I mumble and keep my eyes closed, but I hear her laugh through her nose. Some warmth covers all the side of my face, of my arm, her breasts pressing onto it, her soft lips enters in contact with mine, and I get satisfied. "Here,  I'm waiting for you at the table. Everything is served."

I turn around as soon as she says that but do it in a slow way to not feel dizzy, and I sneakily caress the back of her thigh as she just stepped away.

"I love you," I speak out, staring at the closed curtains out of shyness. I just smiled at my own words, I'm a damn kid. "I love you too, baby."

I stand up after her responses that motivated me, and I join her at the table, loving the candles that do not attack my sensitive eyes after a restful sleep. I sit down next to her, and she lets us dig in, but before that, I lean closer to her and kiss her lips. "Thank you for the food," I smile but move back, and she gives me the same expression.

I pick two pieces of the meat and eat some rice with it, but since the TV is playing in the living room, which means in the room we are, I put my eyes on it and watch the movie.

"Jungkook," the tone she uses worries me, I stop chewing and peek at her. "Hm?"

I feel like I've done something wrong. She eats the meat, and she looks at me, fixedly. "I haven't told you because you were sleeping, but I need to tell you something."

"What...?"