XIX: Friends... Without Benefits

WARNING: THIS HAS BEEN SHABBILY PROOFREAD. 

Scorpius found Charles sitting amidst three girls and one boy: One boy and girl on his right and two girls on his left. He looked up with an easy smile when he saw Scorpius approaching but his smile dropped when he noticed Scorpius' expression. He said, "Ladies, if you'll excuse me." 

"Charles---" 

"You're a lady too, Jer. In a way." He said to Jeremiah, another Slytherin, and then rose to follow Scorpius out of The Three Broomsticks. Once outside, Scorpius narrated the incidents, grappling more and more with words as he tried to sound as if he hadn't done anything wrong. Once he was done, Charles took a deep breath, let it out slowly, and then smacked Scorpius' head. 

"Ow! What was that for!" Scorpius said, glaring at Charles and rubbing the back of his head. 

"That was for being an arse and not telling Weasley about Evie. You could have just told her about the letters." 

"And had Evie hexed into oblivion?"

"You know that there's the slight chance of that not happening since she's in Beauxbatons, don't you?" 

"That's not the point. The point is, if Rose ever comes to my house, she'll find out Evie lives next door and get jealous and kill her. I don't want blood on my hands." He added the last part in an undertone and earned himself another smack on the head from Charles. Scorpius glared and rubbed his head again. Then he said, "So what should I do now?" 

"I don't know!" 

"But you're a ladies' man!" 

"Yes but the difference is, when I'm with a girl, I'm not writing love letters to another girl."

"Instead you're doing one at the back of the library." 

"Shut up! That's not true either! It's just one of the rumours I'd like to be true." He said and Scorpius rolled his eyes at him. Then he said, despairing, "What am I going to do?" 

"You could start by telling the truth. It won't be easy, but you could."

"I could do a lot of things. That doesn't mean I want to."

"Well you don't really have a choice right now, do you?" Charles said, looking at Scorpius with a matter-of-fact look. Scorpius sighed and nodded. He knew that he had to talk to her. And explain himself.

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Scorpius found Rose sitting in the common room with a book. But he could tell that she wasn't actually paying attention to what she was reading because her eyes just stared at the page. Then she would turn the page and stare at the same spot on the new page. Scorpius said, "Rose?" She jumped, brought out of her thoughts, and looked at him before putting down the book and getting up to leave. He said, "Rose! Come on! Surely we can talk about this like adults!"

"What's there to talk about? You were exchanging love letters with someone and I found out. That's all there is to it, isn't there?"

"No! There is so much more to that! Please... just listen. Just five minutes. I swear." Scorpius said and Rose thought about it for a second. Then she sat down, saying, "Fine. But only five. I have things to do like paint a picture of you bleeding to death." Scorpius detected the hint of a smile on her face and relaxed considerably. Then he said, "Do you want to sit or---"

"I'm fine. Thanks." She said with a tone of finality. He nodded and, after having a mini internal debate about whether or not to sit, he decided to stand. Then he said, "Her name's Evie. She was my first girlfriend. Well first proper girlfriend. It was just a summer thing. We were neighbours and knew that it would only last for the summer. She---"

"Why was it just a summer thing?"

"She goes to Beauxbatons. So I knew that we would have to break up. But anyway, she was really nice about the whole thing. We even decided to stay in touch while she was there. But then she began sending me love letters. And that wasn't part of the deal. But I went along with it. And when we met during the next summer, we got together again. And then broke up again. And then I came into this year and... met you." Scorpius finished. Rose just stared at him for a few seconds. Finally she said, "So why haven't you told her about us?" Scorpius couldn't hold back a smile when she said 'us'. But he said, "It never came up, I guess." 

"You were writing love letters to this girl and there was not a single place where you could say that you were with someone so you couldn't write anymore letters?"

"I did! But she didn't listen. Maybe she thought that I was just faking it so that she'd stop sending me letters." 

"So you just let her continue sending you letters?"

"Well I didn't really have a choice, did I?!" 

"Well you did. You could have told me and I could have written to her. You always have a choice, Scorpius. You just have to choose to look at it." Rose said, ending with bitterness. Scorpius didn't know that she was actually capable of such acidity. He said, "Well I'm sorry! I'll write to her and tell her about us."

"It's a little late for that, isn't it? Don't bother. There's no us." Rose said with narrowed eyes. Scorpius realized what she was implying and his eyes widened. He said, "Rose... what are you..." even though he knew. 

"I think it's perfectly clear what I'm implying." Rose said, standing up and turning around to go to her dorm room. Scorpius said, "Rose! Are you seriously going to do this?! They were just some stupid letters! They didn't mean anything! I swear." He said the last words in a softer voice. Rose's step faltered but she didn't turn around. She just climbed the stairs and disappeared upstairs into her room. She shut the door behind her and her head was surprisingly clear. She thought, "Okay, so we broke up." 

Okay? Are you sure you mean okay? Her subconscious had returned. She couldn't remember the last time it had talked to her. She answered it: Yes. I have to be. I'm the Head Girl. I can't let this affect that. 

You're only the Head Girl outside of these walls. Within these walls you're Rose Weasley, the human being. The human being with emotions. 

Shut up. Stop it. I can't let it get to me. 

You can't live in denial forever. 

Yes I can. 

You shouldn't have to. 

But I can. So I will. What's done is done. I can't go back and change the past. 

Do you wish you could? 

That's not the point. 

You could. 

It wouldn't be the right thing to do. 

That's true. 

We broke up. 

You did. 

...We broke up. 

Rose? 

We broke up. She thought and she couldn't hear her subconscious anymore. It was as if there was a loud noise filling her ears and all she could hear in her mind was "We broke up". She walked to her bed, absentmindedly and sat down on it. Reaching up, she wiped away a tear. She knew it was only the first and that more were following. So she sat there and, eventually, crying exhausted her so she fell back onto her bed and fell asleep. 

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Scorpius awoke extremely early the next morning. The sun's rays were just appearing over the horizon but the sun itself was nowhere to be seen. So he just lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. Saying that he had had a restless night would be an understatement. He had hardly slept. And every time he slept, he would jolt awake a few minutes later because, what happened in his dreams was much worse than what had actually happened. Finally, he got out of bed and got ready even though his legs felt like lead. He got ready at the slowest pace possible but, by the end of it, it still seemed to fast. So he exited his room and went downstairs to find nobody. He felt like a part of him had been expecting to see someone. Not necessarily Rose. But anyone. Even Lily, who was slowly growing on him. But he found no one. So he went upstairs to Rose's room, expecting to find her asleep. Instead he found her bed neatly made and her bag missing. He glanced at her table and saw that her books for today were gone too.

Why would she be in the Great Hall so early? 

Maybe to avoid you, creepypants. You're basically at her door and you were planning to stare at her sleeping. 

She could have at least said good morning. 

...you're impossible. The subconscious muttered and went back into its hole to sleep. It was clearly too early for some people. 

Scorpius made his way down the many staircases to the Great Hall and, upon entering, noticed that Rose wasn't at the Gryffindor table. Was she in the Gryffindor common room? But why would she be there? Lily, Albus and everyone else are over here. Scorpius scanned the Gryffindor table once more and then, sighing, went to the Slytherin table, dropping down beside Charles. He immediately noticed that Charles seemed beyond happy. Frowning, he said, "Why so happy, Charles?" 

"Why not? It's a lovely day, isn't it?" 

"It's raining." 

"The rain has a beauty of its own." 

"Merlin's beard!" 

"What?" 

"You like someone." 

"What?! No I don't! Are you mental?!" 

"It's all over your face. Who's the unlucky girl?" 

"Nobody, Scor! There's no girl!" Charles protested and quickly changed the subject, "So, how did your and Rose's talk go?" Immediately a shadow appeared on Scorpius' face. Charles teasing mood was wiped away by a single expression. He said, "What happened, Scorpius?" 

"...We broke up." Scorpius murmured. There was a pause before Charles said, "You what?!" Scorpius didn't feel the need to elaborate so he didn't say anything. He continued to nibble on his buttered toast. There's was a long silence and then Charles said, "So, did you do Potions?" 

"No. Did you?" 

"No." 

Scorpius didn't have any classes with Rose for the rest of the day. He saw her during lunch where she looked very sombre and silently ate her lunch, occasionally letting out a laugh at something someone had said, trying to appear as normal as possible. But, before Scorpius had time to speak to her, she was forced to exit the Great Hall with Lily. He watched the doors close behind the trio and went back to eating.

Rose was really surprised when Lily pulled her out of the Great Hall. She had thought that she had been doing a good job pretending that everything was alright. But here she was being pulled out of the Great Hall in the middle of lunch, by Lily Potter. And that was the moment Rose realized that Lily Potter always knew. 

Always. 

Lily dragged her all the way into an empty classroom and made Rose sit down. Then she said, "We have about fifteen minutes before lunch ends. You have fifteen minutes to spill." 

"Spill what?" 

"Don't play dumb with me. Something's going on with you and Malfoy. And if you don't tell me, you know I'll ask him. Think of me as nosy but this is just my way of showing that I care." 

"I never said you were nosy." 

"I can basically read your mind." Lily said and Rose gave a slight smile when she detected a sense of pride. Finally she said, "Scorpius and I broke up."

"You broke up?! Why?! I thought you said you were going to just talk." 

"Well yeah. That was the initial plan but then I found out stuff about him and I needed to take a break." 

"Take a break or break up?" 

"What's the difference?"

"There's a difference. Break up leaves no possibility. Taking a break means there's hope." 

"It's probably the former." Rose said and Lily shook her head aggressively. She said, "No no no! You cannot not be together! I won't allow it!" 

"Well I'm sorry to tell you that it isn't your decision to make." But then Rose noticed how crestfallen Lily looked (which was ironic since it should have been Rose who looked crestfallen) and sighing, said, "Fine. I'll ask him if we can just be friends." 

"With---" 

"Without benefits. Honestly, you would be perfect for Scorpius." 

"You mean if he wasn't totally in love with you?" 

"He is not totally in love with me!" But Rose couldn't hide her blush when Lily said that and Lily grinned at a blushing Rose. Then they returned to their respective classes and Rose found that the new idea of being friends (or maybe acquaintances) with Scorpius was probably most of the reason for her mood being generally uplifted to the point where she could manage a true and wholehearted smile. 

A week passed with little to no contact between Rose and Scorpius and it was obvious to everyone in the school that they weren't together anymore. But a week later, something changed and Rose and Scorpius found themselves in each other's presence for the first time in a whole week. Scorpius had come downstairs, hoping to find the common room empty so that he could do his homework in peace and found a hardworking Rose sitting there. He stood awkwardly and Rose, sensing a presence, turned around and, for one tension-filled moment, there was complete silence. Then Rose smiled warmly at him and the tension eased and Scorpius sat down and they worked in silence. Rose realized that a week to herself was exactly what she had needed to get properly over their breakup. So, after they had both finished their homework, Rose said, "Er, Scorpius?"

"Yeah?" Scorpius said, freezing his action of gathering his parchment, quill and ink. 

"I was thinking about, you know, us."

"Oh?" Scorpius said, not looking up. 

"Yeah. And I was just thinking that maybe we could be friends. Since we're Head Boy and Girl, it would probably work better if we were friends. Acquantainces would also do." She said the last part hurriedly and looked at him, expecting an answer. There was a short pause, which seemed to last for an eternity, before he said, "With...?"

"Without benefits." She said but couldn't control the smile that forced itself onto her lips. 

"Well if you're sure. Yeah sure. Friends would be... perfect." Scorpius said and, at that moment he actually meant it. It was worth it if he got a smile from Rose and could return a similar smile without the slightest hesitation. 

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Hey! :D So here's the new chapter! Not so much drama and I'M SO SORRY I BROKE THEM UP. I feel like a horrible human being *sob* :'( But I didn't want to jump to Christmas break and, to be honest, I just thought they had a better chemistry as friends. 

BUT I'M STILL SORRY! 

Also, I'm going on my school trip soon so I don't know when I'll write next. Which is why I updated now :D 

On the side is All Of Me by John Legend which is my favourite song right now. I just recently got obsessed with it and I CAN'T STOP SINGING IT. It's annoying :P 

Anyway... I have a subplot for Charles which I really like so pay special attention to what he says. Especially in this chapter ;D 

VOTE, FOLLOW AND PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE COMMENT!! :D It would mean the world!! :D THANKS FOR READING!! :D I LOVE YOU GUYS SO FREAKING MUCH!!! :D <3 

~RFM