035

The frigid atmosphere inside of your vacant apartment was immensely desolate— the emptiness resembled that of your rib cage, which was now void of your delicate heart since Rin had so painfully ripped it from your chest.

It was too quiet; being left alone to simmer in your own melancholic thoughts was proving to be awfully dangerous in your fragile state.

How could he have done such a thing? It all happened so fast, you could hardly even catch your breath let alone wrap your head around what just occurred. You knew he had issues— emotional damage and broken trust ran deep within the dejected man, but everything seemed fine just moments ago... what changed?

You head straight to your room, completely ignoring the rumble in your stomach as you passed through the kitchen, which didn't have anything consumable in it anyways. You had lost everything— your job, your happiness, your appetite... it was just better to slept it off, wake up the next morning refreshed and hopefully much less depressed.

It didn't take you long to knock out, the anxiety induced panic you ensued earlier was at least good for a night of restful sleep.

Maybe if you're lucky, you'll see them in your dreams.

"Why did y/n leave?" Reiki asks, tears still welled in his eyes after watching you walk out the door so late in the evening. It wasn't like you to leave abruptly, as if the sounds of your cries weren't evident enough that something was very wrong.

Instantly reminded of the the time he watched his mother leave in tears, he balled his little fists and immediately turned his anger towards the only common denominator in both scenarios— his father.

"What did you do to y/n?" Reiki spits, eyes glared at the villian in the room, who starts to question whether or not he made the right decision.

Of course he didn't, what a stupid question; but he did what he thought was best for you... didn't he?

No, maybe he was doing what was best for him; for his heart, that threatened to crumble at the thought of someone stealing you away, the same way another man so easily stole his ex-wife right from under his nose because he was a shitty husband and a shitty father.

He was shit; it was better this way for the both of you. You'd surely move on, maybe marry that guy or find someone else who was much better than him— someone who could show you the love and attention you deserved, someone who wasn't a selfish piece of shit like him.

The way Reiko so blatantly expressed how she wanted you to be her mother effected Suna much more than he initially led on— the fact that his children were already becoming so attached to you, it scared him even worse than his own attachment. He didn't want them to go through that again, if you decided to leave one day because of him.

In his mind, it was better to deal with a bit of backlash now, before your bond deepened to the point of no return— it wasn't a well thought out plan, especially since he never anticipated Reiki waking up to get a drink of water from the kitchen while this whole ordeal occurred.

The way his son was looking at him right now, as if he was the bane of Reiki's six year existence, told him maybe the kids were more attached to you that he thought.

"Reiki, y/n was your nanny— she has to go back to her own house now. Remember what we discussed before she came to live with us?"

"No! Y/n left because you said mean things to her!" Reiko's shouts turn into sobs as he clings onto his father— he's upset with him right now, but he can't help but seek some form of comfort while he sorts out his underdeveloped emotions.

"You made her leave, just like you did to mommy! Mommy left 'cus you were mean to her!"

Rin's heart shatters; well, what was left of it anyways, as he hears his son's true feelings being unloaded all at once.

Is this really how he felt? Rin had no idea that all this time, Reiki had harbored such resentment towards him about his mother's absence. He can't help but feel his eyes mist as he watches Reiki scream and cry, spiraling further into his sorrowful rage as he beats his tiny fists against his father's stomach.

"I HATE YOU!

I HATE YOU SO MUCH!

I WISH YOU WEREN'T MY DAD!"

Before Rin even has time to give a response, Reiki takes off up the stairs and shuts himself back into his room— leaving him to wallow in his own self pity for the way he's acted tonight. There was no way you've be willing to speak with him after the things he's said to you in the heat of the moment.

No, he had to stop thinking about it; trying to get you back would defeat the whole purpose... you were better off without him, and he had to accept that.

After trekking himself up the stairs, he stops infront of Reiki's room— knuckles bared, hovering over the door as he hesitates to make his presence known. Instead, he presses his ear against the cold wood, listening for any semblance of noise that may stir from behind it. He can just barely make out he sound of soft sniffles as he contemplated whether or not it was a good idea to go in and check on him.

Hesitantly, he knocks on the door a few times to announce his presence, before opening the door to find his son curled up with his squirtle plush in hand, seemingly lulled to sleep by his very own tears.

Taking a seat at his bedside, he delicately runs his fingers through his son's hair, wiping away a single, stray tear with the pad of his thumb.

"I love you, Reiki. I'm sorry I haven't been the father you and your sister deserve. I just hope someday you can forgive me."

He whispers so softly against his cheek before leaving a small kiss in his wake, before creeping quietly out of the room and over into his own. It doesn't feel the same— being here without you— knowing that you aren't in the room next door, or even that you won't be in his bed ever again.

He can't help the way he falls into his silken sheets, reveling in the way that they still smell like you as his eyes flutter shut— imagining you're still here with him. He didn't want to do this; god, he hated that he did this... but ultimately he knew it had to be done.

The feelings he felt today were so tortuously confusing, but it made him realize one very important thing; he still needed to heal.

Grabbing his phone off the night stand, he sent a quick text to atsumu, asking him if he would be able to do him one very big favor.

His eyes flutter shut once more, gripping the pillow that had last cradled your sleepy head. Your scent comforts him and pains him all at once, as he slowly drifts off to sleep.

Maybe if he's lucky, he'll see you in his dreams.