No Mercy in the Wild

Weep for me, for mePlead for grace, for graceFor grace. Yeah.

No religion for the lostSorrow for the wickedNo mercy in the wildNo hope for the worstSalvation for the wearyNo mercy in the wild-Blues Saraceno

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Southwestern Colorado, Southern Ute Reservation; 16 May, 1992

During their flight from HYDRA, Tessa and James had found a place where they could stop and rest a few days once they were far enough away from New Orleans to feel comfortable. Remy really should have come with them, but he was on his own path for the time being. Without a doubt, they would see him another time, though.

Currently, their campsite wasn't one that was registered in any national park. They'd crossed open country to reach it. They camped now near a stream-fed, clean pond they could get water from within the crescent of a small mountain rise that stood apart from the evolutionary gash of the Rocky Mountains in the eastern distance. They set up camp where it had been rather nice, peaceful and partially hidden.

They had their low campfire, a tent to escape the elements and a bit of food to cook there. It was quiet and private and had allowed them both to get some much needed rest and relaxation. It had almost become a sort of home by now, a sanctuary where they could have their solitude.

They had been here almost a week now and had only laid eyes on people when they went into the nearest town to grab food for the day.

It was still an hour before dawn when Tessa was awakened by the thrashing of a sleeping bag and tent wall near her, but she had no idea what it was until she turned to face where James had gone to sleep the night before. It sounded like a bear was trying to tear into the tent.

Those growls were coming from James, though, as he spilled aimlessly through a nightmare that had taken over his sleeping brain. Involuntary jerks of his legs rustled within the sleeping bag, and his arms flailed out at ghosts that Tessa was unable to see for herself. She was fairly certain they were wraiths that she'd help put there over the years by not taking him out of his half state of self that he seemed perpetually stuck in. 

Knowing better than to get too close while he was thrashing or to touch him to wake him from his traumatic dream, Tessa eased up and scooted toward the other side of the tent. Were he to wake in a panic, he could lash out and hit her without realizing just who he was swinging at, and as his arm kept whirring and adjusting even outside of the dream she fully expected he would crush her without a second of thought before he could register who it was he had a hold on.

She had no sooner come to a halt than James shot up from where he lay, a scream tearing from his throat and his titanium arm calibrating fully to harden itself for the fight that was almost immediately beginning to dissolve with each second of consciousness.

Once it registered in his brain what had happened, he turned immediately toward where Tessa had been sleeping only to not find her there. She could hear the rise of his heart rate as panic set in and soon gave him that sleepy, smoky tone from where she was currently seated.

"I'm okay, baby," she stated, but she didn't reach out for him yet. She'd let him seek human comfort once he was ready for it. "Not a scratch at all. I promise."

Her words allayed his fears for the time being, and he drew his knees up toward his chest. His breath was harsh, ragged and made Tessa's own lungs burn just at the thought of how hard he was breathing. Elbows were propped onto said knees in order to accept his bowing head into the palms of his trembling hands. 

James sat there in total silence while he got his brain and heart back under control, his fingers idly and half-heartedly curling into his chin-length hair. Tessa was not scared of him, and he knew that; however, he was scared of himself and wouldn't let himself near Tessa until he was certain that he -- James Barnes -- was fully in control of his brain. He would not chance entertaining the idea that The Winter Soldier would hurt his dark goddess, but he also wouldn't put his entire hand on that one play, either.

Nightmares were nothing new between them, and both knew how the other needed their distance or comfort following one. When he was ready, he would come to Tessa. Until then she was ever-patient and just watched his dark profile in the hush of the tent. She didn't want to move out to the ice chest and grab him a bottle of water yet because there was every chance he would reach for her soon after, and she'd be damned if she wasn't there to move over to soothe him.

This time, James didn't motion for her to come back. Instead, he got to his knees and crawled out of his sleeping bag in only the pair of shorts he'd slept in as far back as she could remember. His head was down, his hair falling like a dark curtain to hide his expression from her. If the bumps and pebbles beneath the floor of the tent bit into his bare knees, he never once showed it. There was nary a wince nor a hiss of pain given from the man who crawled so submissively -- heartbreakingly so -- toward Tessa.

Tessa could tell just from his posture that the nightmare had been too much for him this time. He struggled forward until his strong arms wrapped around the waist of his beloved, his head burying itself into her stomach for the time being. Without asking a single question or moving from where she was, she accepted his embrace and let long, slender fingers caress through his hair to cause that always involuntary shiver of reaction she pulled from the act.

The sun was almost fully up when James finally found his voice and started explaining what he'd dreamed about.

"I fell off of a train," he stated and Tessa's eyes squinted tightly shut. Of all of the horrible things to remember, she definitely didn't want him to remember that one. "My friend couldn't reach me before the metal I was holding to rattled loose and sent me falling into the ravine. HYDRA found me again soon after and did this."

He raised his left arm up before wrapping it back around the waist of his lover.

"When they cut the ragged pieces off, I was still awake for it," his voice was slow and carried very little intonation to it. "I couldn't move, but I was awake and felt everything. How could I ever have believed that HYDRA ideals benefited me in any way?"

With that, he trailed off and nuzzled against Tessa's stomach a small bit but without pulling away. He almost looked like a man draped over the altar of a church, worshiping his goddess and begging for a forgiveness that only she could grant or some beatific permission to allow him to begin healing. The lulling comfort of her combing fingers was still helping his muscles to ease, enough that he laid down there with his body between her extended legs. He refused to let go of the hug he had around her body, though.

"I'm so sorry, James," her voice was almost just a whisper, but it sent warmth flooding into his body to further chase away the Siberian cold that seemed to be in every inch of his bones right then. "You should have had a much different life, and I am sorry for the part that my father played in using you as HYDRA's Asset."

"Don't," he said softly and finally collected enough of himself that he could pull up and rest with his weight distributed across his shins. Palms laid against the tops of his thighs and his backside was perched onto the backs of his heels. "You have nothing that I ever have to forgive, Tessa. Neither of us are what HYDRA made us be, and I never want you to apologize for the evils caused by your father. You are nothing like him. Nothing."

"No, we aren't," she replied with a tender smile, her hand coming up to caress the scruff that covered over the dimple in his chin. "We are much more than that, and we always will be."

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James' light laugh disappeared into the wilderness around them, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he let himself be fully amused by watching Tessa trying to catch a rabbit for them to kill and eat before they began packing up for the day. Despite her best efforts, the bet he'd made her -- that she couldn't catch the animal without her powers -- was holding fast, and he was amused to no end as he sat and watched her scramble and skitter and trip and completely fail at physically catching the furry little hopper. 

He had his long legs extended out before him, heavy combat boots crossed at the ankle and his bare hands both resting atop the fallen log he was reclining on. It had been such a long time since Tessa had heard him laugh like that. It was so worth the fact that she was never going to live this day down.

At long last, the blond gave in with a huff of frustration then zapped the cottontail with a bolt of lightning to kill it. 

"Oh, c'mon, Doll," he chuckled, mirth scrunching up his nose and making his eyes bright. As he spoke, he raised his right hand, palm up, to motion toward her and their future dinner that was slightly smoking where lightning singed its soft fur. Right that second, she could hear the faintest glaze of Brooklyn on the words he spoke. "Ya almost had it that last time it ran in between your feet."

In that moment, Tessa saw more than just James Barnes; she could see the Bucky of old that she'd read all about in his files. The Bucky who defended Steve Rogers against bullies, who stepped up to enlist and fight for his country. The Bucky who fell into the clutches of HYDRA in 1945.

"Ha. Ha ha ha." Was the bland response he got back from her as she knelt over her kill and pulled the butterfly knife from her pocket to flourish it open. "Keep laughing, Titanium Arm."

The surgically sharp knife tip was wagged at him, but that was brief. Soon enough, she was making a cut from side to side over the rabbit's back then pulling back each flap of skin that peeled right off without any hassle whatsoever. With a deft hand, she then set to cutting through the pelvic bone. One knee shifted to brace her better on the grass as she eased the blade beneath the breast bone then extended her index finger down the back of the blade to help guide it upward and not puncture any of the organs in the process. The knife was set onto the grass so that she could reach up into the carcass and pull free the esophagus and windpipe then pulled it all out along with the entrails left inside. After cutting off the head and feet of the animal, she was left with a perfectly decent bit of meat to supplement their dinner for the night.  

James hated to see her hands soaked in blood, but at least he knew she could take care of herself should they ever have to split up. Nothing about what he saw lessened his confidence in her adept skill to adapt. 

After only a little span of time, Tessa was getting up and making her way over to the pond, first to toss the entrails, head and feet therein to feed the fauna that called the water home. She returned again -- this time at the mouth to the stream -- with the carcass to wash it out, purify her hands and clean her knife so she could tuck it away where it belonged. Now the meat just needed to cool down and set up a little and they would be able to cook it and fill their bellies before they hit the road. 

As Tessa made her way back toward where he was seated, he gave the smallest of smirks but waited to speak until she'd skewered a curved limb through the void beneath the Achilles tendon on each of the bunny's back legs. 

"You know," he began, and he was policing his tone far too well for Tessa to think something was off. "It's not titanium."

Reaching up, he tapped the bold, red star on his left deltoid then watched her with a perfectly passive look on his face. Tessa knew for a fact what his arm was made from so she wasn't quite sure what he was trying to get at right then.

"It's Stalinium," the faintest of smirks lifted up the left corner of his mouth as steel blue eyes watched the face of the woman he adored.

"Stalinium?" she asked, her brow raising a smidgeon. She was pretty good with science and knew for a goddamn fact that Stalinium wasn't real and certainly wasn't enough to suffice for The Winter Soldier's arm.

Even as he nodded his head, Tessa could see his cheeks tightening up as he fought off the urge to just laugh. It was mostly that which made Tessa finally crack a small smile. 

"You are so full of shit," she stated as she stood before him for the time being. "There is no such thing as Stalinium." He raised a hand to protest, but Tessa was hearing none of it. "Stalin did not have a metal like that named after him, you silly old man! Maybe we need to get a shrink to make sure you aren't developing some sort of dementia in your old age."

Just because he was briefly active during the days of Stalin didn't mean his arm was anything more than what it was -- titanium, but the deadpanned look she gave him was worth the horrible, terrible joke he'd tried to get away with, right alongside the incredulous look given when she brought up his age. He watched her watch him for a span of several moments before he rumbled a chuckle that caused her own laughter to bubble to the surface.

"You take all the fun out of my jokes," he gave her an exaggerated pout that went beyond anything she'd ever seen him do before.

That alone was enough to make Tessa's spirits soar high despite not being able to catch the stupid cottontail. Perhaps -- just maybe -- Bucky would return on his own at long last.

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Late afternoon came and found James and Tessa packing up their campsite, burying remnants of their fire and making it appear like no one had been there. They'd stayed in one place too long and needed to take the next step to put more distance between themselves and where HYDRA thought they could have been.

From here, it was down to Phoenix for a few days then back off toward the east coast. Beneath the ghost of ashes from their fire, James had dug a hole big enough to hold their emptied ice chest. Once it was dry, they placed a couple of pistols and magazines inside then tucked in a couple of stacks of bound hundreds for their next cache, should they need it.

By the time they left, the place looked as if no one had been there in decades, and that made Tessa feel better about having stayed in the area. She'd been worried that the people of the reservation might come across them, but this time had worked out in their favor.

About halfway to Phoenix during one of their pit stops, Tessa was sure to get a lot of Gatorade and water into James since he was sweating like a whore on nickel night. Never being able to take off his jacket or his gloves was overheating him despite the super soldier serum doing its work and regulating him whenever possible. They were people of eternal winter, and while the warm weather was certainly a nice change, their bodies were not accustomed to the rapid change in climate. 

"C'mon," she let her words run together as he settled the gasoline spout back into place in its cradle in the pump. "Go into the men's bathroom. I'll pay and meet you in there."

He gave her retreating form a confused look, but he did just as she said.

The men's room was empty except for him, but it was goddamn filthy, if he had to be honest about things. It wasn't but a minute or two before Tessa was striding in and paying no attention to the state of the bathroom. She didn't care, though James knew she belonged in a setting far nicer than this one.

She locked the bathroom door then turned on him, reaching up to help him peel off the leather he was wearing. He didn't question her at all, but it was a great relief when the jacket was gone and the sweat-soaked t-shirt beneath was exposed to cooler air. James breathed out softly, closed his eyes and allowed the gloves to be taken off soon after.

Only when he physically felt Tessa pull away did he open his eyes and pin her with his gaze. She moved over to the continuous roll towel dispenser up on the wall. She reached into her hip pocket, withdrew her butterfly knife and spun it open to quickly slice the cloth so that she could tug the entire thing free. She then halved it before flicking the knife shut, locking its pin and tucking it back into her pocket.

The first towel was drenched in cool water and used to wipe down his skin, both on his neck and right arm. She also wiped down the metal arm as well as the scarred and puckered flesh where titanium was anchored into his torso. The material was rinsed out and drenched all over again with clean, cold water. Finally, she wiped his face down and draped the towel around his shoulders, expanding the full width of it to cover as much of him as she could. With that done, she helped him pull the jacket back on then handed him his gloves with a soft smile.

"Thanks," he stated and returned the smile. Then he watched her remove a leather jacket she'd stolen the last time they stopped at a diner. James took a great interest in Tessa washing down her own skin and draping her own half of the towel around her shoulders just as she had his. He especially enjoyed the way the sopping towel caused rivulets to dance down over the exposed skin of her neck and arms. Too soon, she had done just as she had with his jacket and returned it to its place.

With her jacket pulled back on, she turned her eyes to his and was met with a smile still on his soft lips. There was a flirtation lurking there on the tip of his tongue, and she knew that by the way his eyes glimmered with amusement at unspoken words.

Tessa raised a brow but she didn't pry into his thoughts right then. If he wanted to say something, he could. For now, she leaned up and pressed a brief kiss to his mouth then turned and moved over to unlock the door and step back into the heat.

James joined her right about the time they stepped out from around the side of the building and found a line of thirty men surrounding them and the Scout itself.

Immediately, both could hear the quickening of heartbeats as they sized up the men and registered the fact that all they had currently were knives. The HYDRA agents -- all wearing Marshal stars and windbreakers -- were armed to the teeth. There were only two ways out of this -- death or surrender.

The tallest of the men stepped forward and let his rifle and hand fall to a double sling he had draped over his right shoulder. When he reached up to remove his balaclava, Tessa was both relieved and terrified to find Major Sidorov right there in front of them. Steel blue eyes shifted toward Tessa as she stepped forward, but James didn't try to stop her.

"Ivan," she gave him the smallest smile once the two came to their halt near one another right in the middle between James and the mob of agents with weapons still trained on them. "I never would have expected to see you here."

Ivan gave her the softest of smiles as his green eyes found her own, but he lowered his voice and offered words meant only for her.

"Your father is extremely unhappy right now," he stated. Tessa really didn't give a shit about anything involving her father, especially right now. "He isn't happy about the agents at the border. He isn't happy with this whole ruse. I tried to stay out of it, but he ordered me to come and collect you both, bring you back to the base."

Tessa's heart deflated a little within her chest.

"Ivan," she started, her eyes looking that long distance up toward him. "Please don't do this. Please, don't take him back. Just take me."

Green eyes lifted toward The Winter Soldier who was very clearly not happy with the low words his handler had just given to the Major. He was not going to let that happen and both Ivan and Tessa knew it.

"We have to take you both, Miss Pierce," he gave her a small, sad smile. "But I can promise you that only one of you will be punished for what has happened."

With that, Tessa's eyes widened some and she turned back to look right at the man who her dad would hold accountable for this whole incident. James watched her, his metal hand tight in a fist at his side. After what seemed like hours, the hulking man was in motion toward the two of them, hands going loose at his sides.

Tessa almost panicked completely and told him to run, but she knew from the determined look on his face that he wouldn't have done it had she ordered it.

Once near enough, he looked at Ivan and set his jaw. His gaze kept trying to fight its way back to Tessa, and it was denied each time by the Brooklyn native.

"We will return," he stated firmly. "And I will take the punishment for forcing her to help me escape."

He most certainly was not! Tessa had all but rounded toward her lover when she was met with his hard, stony eyes meeting her own. It was very clear to Sidorov that something more was going on between them, but he was too fond of them both to spill that to her father if he asked.  A sad look was turned to Tessa who had crumpled under the dominant weight of her lover's unflinching gaze.

"Miss Pierce," Ivan began, his head tilting to the right a little and lowering so that he was a tiny bit closer to her height. "This is the best way. Otherwise, he wants your Soldier dead and you put into cryostasis instead. At least this way, you still run things and can assure your lover's safety."

Tessa's eyes widened, but she looked straight up at him with her neck craning back just a little. He was right. She knew it; James knew it; they all knew it. She almost erupted into tears right then and there, but Ivan's body blocked the view of her from the other agents and her misting eyes couldn't be seen.

"We will come without a fight," she rasped out on a broken voice. "But could you do me one personal kindness, please?"

"If I'm able," was the answer Ivan gave to her immediately.

"I bought that motorcycle and I'd like to keep it," Tessa reached into her hip pocket to pull out the business card she'd taken off of the wall of the last truck stop they'd stopped at. James soon fetched the key from his pocket and held it forward without pretense. "Could you make sure it ends up in number 45, please? Maybe some day I'll be able to ride it again."

Ivan took both the key and the card then nodded his head, "I will do it myself and tell no one that it's there, Miss Pierce."

Tessa gave him a sad smile which was then turned toward her beautiful Soldier. James licked his lips nervously but nodded regardless. Only then did the blond turn toward Ivan and step forward to take the power-restraints from his belt. She unlocked them, switched them on then turned toward James. Once more, Tessa forced herself to be the monster of their narrative.

Up close, both he and Ivan could see her hands trembling, but James offered up both wrists without drawing it out longer. He wanted to kiss her goodbye; she wanted to hug him tightly and never let him go. Neither could have what they wanted right then.

"The men are ordered to protect you at all costs," Sidorov offered to Tessa, blocking as much of the exchange as he could. "They won't mistreat you, and I will be there before Pierce arrives to punish The Winter Soldier, so you'll have a few days to say your goodbyes once you're in Siberia, but that's all I can promise about anything right now."

Tessa gave him a small smile, her fingers lingering on James' hands before she finally pulled away then stepped back a pace, her hands coming up to rest against the lower region of her spine. She held her head high, shoulders squared and face determined.

"That is more than I could ever ask for, Ivan," she stated, still soft. "Thank you and safe travels."

The Major gave a nod of his head then stepped back. He let Tessa lead the way to symbolize that she was still in charge of matters in front of the other agents there. The crowd parted for her without question with two younger soldiers opening up the back of the transport van that would carry them to the nearby airfield that likely housed the aerial vehicles that would carry them all home.

She made a show of putting The Winter Soldier into the back then turning to request a rifle from one of the agents. They handed it over without question then she crawled into the van and sat down on the bench opposite where James was seated.

The instant the doors shut, she moved and crashed her lips against her lover's. A blinding embrace unfolded between them, his fingers clasping the front of her shirt almost helplessly. With the opening of one of the front doors, she pulled back and gingerly sat back down, whispering lower than a human would hear.

"I love you. We'll find another way," she murmured then fell entirely silent.

Soon they were on the move. There was no turning back. They were going back home whether they wanted to or not, but Tessa was not defeated. She would see them free again as soon as humanly possible.

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Posted: 14 August, 2021