I Remember You

We've had our share of hard timesBut that's the price we paidAnd through it all we kept the promise that we madeI swear you'll never be lonely

Woke up to the sound of pouring rainWashed away a dream of youBut nothing else could ever take you away'Cause you'll always be my dream come trueOh my darling, I love you- Skid Row

════ ★ ════

Siberian Facility, Russian Federation; 3 February, 1992

Tessa stood before five perfectly human individuals. Having risen quickly in ranks of various intelligence agencies as well as HYDRA, they had come to be known as the most elite in their field. Perhaps that was why Karpov had chosen them for the advanced Winter Soldier serums. Other than emotional instability, she had no reason to think these five were better than the others. Unsurprisingly, all five of them -- four men and one woman -- needed an attitude adjustment.

For example, Tessa was about to kick the one called Josef so hard that his teeth exited through the back of his skull. From the looks of it, her Soldier was entertaining the same sort of thoughts. The man had been handsy since he'd arrived at the facility. He'd taken a solid punch to the jaw and had gotten back up, but until now he'd kept his mouth shut.

Now he was trying to push buttons, both Tessa's buttons as well as The Winter Soldier's buttons. It wasn't really wise to do either until he, at least, had been given his serum. At this rate, he was going to end up dead before he made it to his gurney.

Perhaps Karpov realized that and that was why he was taking the man aside first for his procedure. Lindemann took the next in line. The two men took turns until the last of the squad was back receiving their serum.

Without a word, Tessa turned and made her way into the adjacent hallway. Once alone, she turned toward her Soldier and spoke.

"Now we can hope Josef doesn't survive," Tessa smirked and received a mirrored response from him.

"We can hope," he said simply.

They both had a wait ahead of them, so they moved over to take a seat in that hallway just over from the large cage that had been constructed just to house the new Soldiers while they were administered their serum. On the back side of that room were numerous cells lining one of the walls. When the new Soldiers' serums began to kick in, guards would carry them into their cells and restrain them on the beds until their bodies accepted the serum or killed them instead. For now, the cells were where the new Winter Soldiers would be kept until their strengths and weaknesses could be discovered. They would likely find themselves in the same living conditions that The Winter Soldier had before Tessa upgraded his room.

"We'll see how long it is before their serums take then work out a training schedule for them," she offered once she was settled. "I don't think it will be difficult for them to master their new talents."

Tessa had gone through her own trials almost two months before, and it had taken her only days to harness the expansion of her own abilities. Now both she and her Soldier had to really try to hurt each other in order to best each other. In fact, she might have been just a tiny bit faster than he was, but his arm always made him stronger. At least in the Soldier capacity. Added in, her mutant abilities put her leagues above him, but she didn't want to rely on solely on her natural abilities.

"I don't have a good feeling about any of them," though The Winter Soldier wasn't sure whether it was because he thought they'd fail because of Karpov or whether he questioned if they would be rabid and uncontrollable.

"I can see why HYDRA wants them," she stated, her eyes on those of her Soldier. "They could topple entire countries overnight. But... I have to agree with you; I think they could be more trouble than it's worth."

The first screams began, and Tessa tossed an icy glance over her shoulder toward where the doctors were observing each new Soldier take the bright blue fluid into their veins. Josef was the first to be secured within his cell. A glance was given toward Vasily who moved over to a desk he'd had moved into the area so that he could work while he waited.

A smirk was given to her Soldier before she shook her head and gave him her attention once again.

"It would be worth the wasted resources just to watch Karpov catch a bullet," with this, she grinned fully.

Her Soldier chuckled in response, but he didn't say anything. Instead, he caught the fact that Karpov had heard his chuckle and turned his eyes away from Tessa entirely. The expression vanished from his face immediately.

The Russian sleeper would never understand how Pierce's daughter could befriend an assassin who never remembered her and failed to befriend any normal person in the facility.

For the next three hours, the new Winter Soldiers screamed, Vasily pretended to work and Tessa lounged in her uncomfortable chair at the side of her friend, whether they were talking or not.

All at once, it was dead silent throughout labs and and holding areas. Tessa's eyes opened slowly and she glanced toward the cell doors. Vasily rose from where he was sitting in order to make his way into the cage and begin checking on each cell and the soldier therein.

When he turned to head over to his desk and Tessa saw the smile on his face, she outwardly groaned and gave a small sigh. A flat look was given to her Soldier, and he smirked, but that was all they shared over the fact that apparently there were now six instead of one Winter Soldier.

"Let's go train," he said softly near her shoulder before rising from the chair and tossing a glance toward the still-smiling Karpov.

Tessa watched her Soldier for several heartbeats even after he'd looked away to watch his former handler. Without a word, she shifted beside the larger form of her friend and moved off toward her training room down a hallway that specifically wasn't in the direction of her quarters. There was no need to make Vasily suspicious.

Her Soldier felt a small shift in the static around them and knew that Tessa was projecting her abilities, though he didn't know what she'd done. They were still half the distance to the training room, and she'd shut off the electronics to the room.

This hadn't been the first time she'd done it. The two had previously used the darkness to train on her blind fighting or use of strobe during combat to grow accustomed to real life scenarios that might happen at some point. She figured -- and he agreed -- that it was a good idea, and she'd gained approval to do so from her father just to make it less questionable.

As they stepped into the black room, The Winter Soldier paused and triggered the door to close behind them to shut out the last of the light. They stood near enough to feel each other's body heat, both heightened to super soldier levels now. For seconds that seemed to last a lot longer, they said nothing and never moved.

"The microphones and cameras are down," Tessa broke the silence after what felt like minutes had passed.

"Why?" he responded, his voice as quiet as hers had been even though no one else could hear them right then.

"So we can shut out the world together," her voice carried a smile on it, but that smile was gone soon after.

Drawing on her own nerve impulses, Tessa created a baseball-sized, steadily pulsing orb of lightning that she then set into a hover in the center of the room. This part was just like every other dark session -- light to give them a sense of their surroundings so that they could each choose where they would initially hide from one another. As the light bathed down over them, it sent shadows downward over their facial features and distorted them in the brisk strobe from above.

Tessa strode deeper into the room, her steps slowly turning her until she was walking backward  from her Soldier in a sort of tease. His gait carried him slowly forward as well. He was a predator beginning the stalking of his prey, and she was the ultimate catch for him. For her, she couldn't think of a better way to be pursued; his predator gait made her stomach clench in a manner that made no sense at all.

The orb above finally fizzled out on its own, and both bodies set in motion.

The Winter Soldier knew his quarry well enough to know she would have flown upward immediately to be out of his reach. He no longer rushed forward in search of her. Instead, he took advantage of his full speed and darted through obstacles he knew by heart.

By the time Tessa reached her perch and stopped, the rush of air over her ears had blocked out any footsteps from her Soldier. She paused there, holding her breath as she listened carefully for the slightest noise. When her lungs finally protested for oxygen, she eased a near-soundless exhale between her lips.

That alone was enough. Tess felt her body jolt sideways, not from an attack from below but from the top of the conex that still wore the dent of her body like a trophy.

A surprised yelp escaped her as they tumbled. She attempted to take flight enough to keep them aloft, but he was damn heavy and he had little to distract him from the task of capturing her while she fought her shock and got her brain to refocus on its task.

Before she ever had the chance to formulate a move, the topside toe of his boot was hooking beneath one of the lower perches. With a sudden downward jerk of his arms around her waist and an upward kick of his leg, they were hurtling to the ground, his body taking the weight of them both before he twisted and slung her down until his body overtook hers.

The act pinned her beneath him momentarily, but she was entirely frozen there. He could feel the quick rise and fall of her chest beneath his head so he knew she was alive and awake. His metal arm lifted to grab her right wrist while she laid still against the floor, but when he moved to double grip the left with it she was spurred into struggle at last.

Bracing her free hand beneath his ribs and her boot against the floor, Tessa bucked her body upward and focused her strength on shoving him off of her. She managed to do that, but he didn't let her wrist free so easily.

A swift yank on her arm spun her body clockwise against the surface of the floor then dragged her back toward his now-crouching form. A fold of that arm against his chest braced her entire forearm against his chest and pulled her close enough he could feel the spill of hot breath against his neck.

A flash. A light. A memory of a stolen touch at dawn. Drowsy eyes like light blue ice looking at him. The urge to touch, to kiss, to cherish her as if she was the life force keeping him alive.

The sudden vision blinded him even in the deep dark of the room. Tessa felt him still and continued with the training, her free arm coming up as she twisted and delivered a sound knock against the side of his head. She had been anticipating his parry, and when it didn't arrive she spilled forward against the floor after hitting him.

A grunt was forced from between her lips as her right hand shot forward to catch her two inches before her face smashed into the cold floor. The sound of her panting against the concrete could be heard as she skittered forward and put her back against the wall to brace for any hit he sent against her.

Nothing happened.

He was frozen in place, his breath too quick, too harsh, eyes widened with confusion even though no one would have been able to see. Tessa could hear his heart thrashing like a storm within him and had her own moment of confusion.

"Soldier?"

Her voice was sweet, soft and set him into moving finally, though he didn't dart to attack her. His movements in the dark were slow, almost hesitant, until he stopped right in front of where she was huddled.

Arms were raised, ready to defend herself, but she faltered when she felt the warmth of his fingers brush against the back of her hand. She knew not to trust him during training, but in those seconds Tessa couldn't bring herself to pull away even to prevent a preemptive strike.

Her mouth went dry suddenly with the familiarity of his touch drawing up over the sleeve of her jacket to her shoulder and then across to caress against her skin just as he had in Edmonton. It took every scrap of willpower inside of her to stop her from calling him by his given name.

The Winter Soldier teetered on the edge of James when he felt the softness of her skin and recalled that morning so long ago when he was compelled to connect his idea of her to the actual tactile feel of her. He eased his knee beneath the back of the thigh she had drawn up to brace that foot against the floor when she readied for retreat, the action drawing his warm skin further toward her own.

Tessa almost sobbed out into the dark of the room as the cool metal of his titanium hand cradled against the other side of her cheek. Finally, her arms adjusted, hands moving to draw up against his chest as he pulled ever closer to her.

As one hand finally reached her Soldier's cheek, he drew her toward him with a light pull and let his mouth brush over her own. He tested the waters of his action, and when she responded by kissing him further, he let her guide him into what she currently considered acceptable.

In seconds, she had fallen deeply into the embrace, her mouth hungry for just one lingering kiss that had never found its completion in the past. When her Soldier finally pulled back to breathe, Tessa found her back pressed to the wall and his body looming over her a bit.

"We can't let anyone catch us," she breathlessly offered when she felt warm lips lay a kiss to her forehead. "I swear to you, we're gonna get out of here, though. Give me a few days. I'll find a way."

He didn't fully understand why she was saying what was being said, but he nodded with his mouth spilling ragged breath over her brow. He trusted her -- always. Until the end.

════ ★ ════

Siberian Facility, Russian Federation; 5 February, 1992

This was a bloody terrible idea. The thought chased itself around Tessa's brain as she watched the space between herself and her Soldier, a space filled by five new Winter Soldiers who were eager to test themselves against the small woman across from them. With them was Karpov, a couple of fully-kitted guards and two doctors observing the progress unfolding.

The exercise had been Vasily's idea. It was a way to prove to Pierce that his daughter was obsolete now, that Karpov had succeeded, that his Soldiers excelled far beyond the abilities of The Winter Soldier and Tesla.

Getting beaten to death didn't sound promising to Tess, though. On a good day, she was a fraction of the size of these new Soldiers, and though she had her abilities she didn't have permission to destroy any of the new Assets.

Her Soldier wasn't happy about it, either; she could tell. Steel blue eyes were hard as stone, his expression practically unreadable by anyone else. Currently, his body was partially blocking Karpov's near the back, and he was glaring a hole into the back of Josef's head as he stepped forward to be the first one to be tested.

Tess breathed out through her nose, irritated but still worried over the lack of knowing just how strong the new five would be. She gave a swallow then eased one foot back to brace against the floor. Eyes were locked on Josef as she raised her hands and took her stance.

Before Josef could move, she pivoted inward and brought her left hand up to punch toward his face. He blocked but she sent a right hook careening toward his head while she thought he was off guard. A jerk of his body backward proved her wrong and had her trying with one more left. Josef, again, blocked her hit but grabbed her left arm and twisted it sharply to the side, dropping her to her knees with a cry of pain.

Her Soldier tensed. In fact, every Winter Soldier in there had tensed, but his was the only one that had been out of concern for his handler's welfare. The others were breathing harder with excitement and easing forward on the bench within the cage like sharks waiting for that first drop of blood in the water.

Josef twisted sharply again, this time jerking Tessa's body toward her right until she was forced onto her knees again, her arm hyperextended straight out behind her. His right hand was drawn back a good bit then shot downward in rage to punch the back of her arm and knock her shoulder completely out of its socket.

The loud pop was accompanied by Tessa screaming out, though that quickly turned into a grunt as Josef kicked her side with enough force to send her barreling into the bullet resistant panel of glass and then bouncing forward a pace when she hit the bottom bar of the cage opposite where her Winter Soldier stood.

While his handler writhed against the floor, Vasily gave a smug look and crossed his arms across his chest, commenting toward Josef in Russian.

"Good work," he smirked and looked down toward where Tessa was laying. So far, so good.

One of the doctors moved up to Josef's right and reached to lay his fingers against the pulse of the man's wrist, which he complied with for exactly half a second. His hand shot up, grabbed the back of the doctor's neck -- which made a scream leap from his lips -- then slammed him face first without ceremony into the concrete floor with a sickening thump and crack of bone.

The nearest guard sprang into action in his riot gear, a baton crashing down against the top of Josef's shoulder and doing nothing but pissing him off further. He straightened, and his rise was followed by the other four Winter Soldiers seated behind him.

Vasily's self preservation wasted no time in kicking in. While the others were focused on the guard with the baton, Karpov drew his gun, extended his arm over The Winter Soldier's right arm then took hold of the back of his vest with a command.

"Soldier, get me out of here," fear stung his words, but they didn't remain in place for long.

Tessa was in danger; her Soldier could never care less about Karpov's safety than he did right then. With the whirring calibration of his metal arm to make it more resilient and ready to clear a path to his goddess, he reached back to take a harsh hold on the cold weather jacket Vasily always wore and dragged him along through the fray as Soldiers assaulted guards and were shoved out of the way with a swipe of their predecessor's metal arm.

They reached Tessa and her Soldier shoved Vasily out of the cage roughly enough that he tripped over his feet and fell against the wall while The Winter Soldier bent down and carefully took Miss Pierce into his arms to usher her out next.

A back-kick of his boot sent the barred door slamming shut and locking itself magnetically. Tessa cried out with the jarring motion of his kick, but the next door was shut by Vasily to assure that the other five wouldn't get through.

The former lead of the facility watched as Pierce was hauled off toward the infirmary. Her screams of pain echoed through the corridors as she was carried off by The Winter Soldier. Alexander was going to have Vasily's ass in a sling over this.

Under extreme duress, the doctors rushed to help Tessa beneath the steely, stony glare of The Winter Soldier's scrutiny. One wrong move, and he'd end them; they all knew that. Then they popped her shoulder back into place, Tess had screamed out, and her Soldier's metal fingers bent the edge of the gurney hard enough that it buckled the medical grade stainless steel. At that point, the doctors had so-politely asked him to step back so they could access her body better.

He numbly complied for the sake of his handler, but he didn't like the fact at all.

Every piece of him ached over her agony while he could do nothing but watch and restrain himself from throwing the doctors against the walls in retribution over what the other Soldiers had done to her. Despite the fact that her body had begun to heal already, she was still writhing in place and gasping for every breath.

Horror played out before his eyes as they wheeled her off out of the room and toward an operating suite with the assurance that they had to reset whatever bone had pierced her lung before she would fully heal. His boots, for once, scraped noisily against the floor as he followed along behind them then was locked out of the room to watch them try to fix her.

════ ★ ════

Tessa was released the following afternoon, but it wasn't until her Soldier had his hand against her lower back and was escorting her toward her quarters that he finally allowed himself to relax, even a little bit. He hadn't slept. He hadn't eaten. He hadn't responded to the request to assist in putting the others into stasis. Every second of his focus was kept on Tessa, no matter where the doctors moved her.

She was weak and tired, but she had almost healed entirely. There was still an ungodly amount of pain, but it was safe for her to take a couple of days and rest in the privacy of her own room. She knew her Soldier had questions, concerns and a need to comfort them both so she used a small surge of energy to shut off just the camera inside of her quarters. If her dad asked about it, she'd tell him she felt like shit and didn't want an audience for it.

Tiredly, Tessa leaned against her Soldier's side while he guided her along with that familiar touch low on her spine. He guided, but there was never a time that he took control out of Tessa's hands. If she needed help, it was on her own terms. There had never been a time when her Soldier had even a thought that his dark goddess needed him at all. She was never weak, never in need of a shield against any storm. In fact, she seemed to always be the buffer between him and the storms that had been sent toward him since they'd met when she was a child.

They reached her door, he opened it and allowed her to walk ahead of him into the room. She turned on the light as she passed the switch, but she didn't take long to make a ginger move to the edge of her bed. Her Soldier followed but paused as he shut the door.

Once shut off from the camera in the hall, he raised his brows in question then continued inward when she nodded her head then spoke.

"I shut it off for now," referencing the 'hidden' camera embedded above the door to her quarters. She reached up to tug at the unfamiliar scrubs top she'd been given to wear since her reinforced vest and shirt beneath had to be cut off of her for surgery.

Without any hesitation, her Soldier moved over to her and knelt with her knees pressed against his chest. He first helped her in the removal of the top so that she wouldn't hurt herself further with the strain. Afterward, his hands both came up and cradled her face tenderly between his palms. She hadn't had but a moment to process his assistance much less the sudden, intimate touch with which he now held her. Struggling to fight off an illogical panic, her Soldier leaned up and pressed his mouth against hers almost desperately.

"I thought you were gone," he murmured heavily against her lips, his hands lightly trembling where they were resting against her skin.

"I'm right here," she whispered in reply as she lifted both hands and rested them over the backs of his own. "Hey... I would never willingly leave you. Ever. Do you hear me?"

She meant every single beautifully-whispered word.

Tessa caressed the backs of his hands, the tip of her nose drawing against his before she kissed him lightly, carefully. Mentally, he was fragile right then, and she didn't want to press him further than she needed to.

"I'll never leave you lost or lonely, James," she said against his mouth this time. "Until the end of the line, right?"

Her Soldier pulled back until the steel blue of his eyes found hers again. The name was familiar. His name on her tongue, it made every piece of him tumultuous in only the best of ways. He said nothing in return, but he closed his eyes, placed his forehead to hers and felt himself calming with every second that passed.

"We are done with HYDRA," she whispered and combed her fingers through his unkempt hair. "We're leaving this place, and we're never coming back."

An unsteady breath was pulled into lungs that were burning right then. He couldn't explain what he was feeling, what was being uncovered from the mess that was what was left of his mind. "Where will we go?"

"Anywhere but here," she answered without pause. "But we have to be careful. We have to go and disappear, become ghosts who can outrun the other phantoms controlled by HYDRA."

James knelt there in front of her, his forehead to hers until he had calmed enough to have a solid foundation to present between them. Soulful, tired eyes captured Tessa's and she gave him a small, sad smile.

"I never should have kept your thoughts buried," her apology felt like acid on her tongue, and her eyes misted over almost immediately. "I should have tried to take you from here before now."

He gave her a shake of his head. "You did what you felt was best. I have every faith in that idea. I don't need anyone to save me, Tess, but I do need you by my side. Leaving this place, going that place. Wherever it ends, we go together."

His blind faith in her was resplendent as it shattered her own thoughts and made her crumple toward him a bit. Had he held a grudge over it, Tessa might have been able to handle it better, but his quick acceptance and surety in her went beyond being a humbling experience. She had done nothing in her life to warrant the buried, blood stained, pure soul of James Barnes placing so much credence in her decisions made on his behalf.

Tessa's bottom lip quivered, but there were no words she could have spoken right then had they even been able to cross her mind. Had she spoken, her sobs would have poured free from her lips and never stopped. He watched her face change into that grim determination not to fall to pieces, and his eyes softened.

Without continuing with words, he leaned into her briefly to kiss the tremor of her lip several times. Whatever pieces were shattering inside of her, he wanted to fix them back together. He would do anything to see the smile return to her expression. Instead, he tenderly nursed every unsteady breath, every crack in her exterior; he put every one back together with a loving peck of his lips to hers.

When she finally gave in, Tessa lowered her knees from between them and let him pull close to crash his lips into hers finally. His right fingers delved into the silky-fine strands of her hair while titanium digits remained against her cheek. A moan was spilled into her mouth with that tender cradle of touch that should have been impossible from a man who had spent most of his life as an unmatched assassin.

There was no fear from either of them right then, nothing to push them apart any longer. Tessa kissed him with the same abandon that his mouth showered onto her own. For the first time, his kiss claimed all of her -- every thought, every impulse, every promise of more in store for them. She was his, and he'd die before he let anyone take them away from each other again.

That night, they poured more affection into each other than either of them had ever experienced in their lives. Tessa gifted to him something she had never given anyone, and James accepted it and guided her with the tender care that only a lover could share with that one person who was dearest to them.

They fell asleep wrapped up with each other, tangled in the sheets of her bed until the early morning hours. With a delicate kiss to the back of Tessa's shoulder, James slipped out of her bed, dressed and eased off toward his own room, never once dropping the guise of his alter ego for the cameras that lined the way.

As he finally laid down on his own bed, he stared up at the dark ceiling he knew was somewhere in the windowless room above him.

I remember you, Doll, he thought. And I'll never forget again.

════ ★ ════

Posted: 7 August, 2021