Chapter 20: Love on Hold

"We'll be a pair that needs no goodbyesHeartbeats that overlap with "I'm home" and"Welcome back"With every second, until we're wrinkledI want to hold your hand"心音 by Omoinotake

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"I'm pretty sure I used up all my energy today."

Exhaling a long breath, Takuya settled into the passenger seat, the adrenaline fading after the intense press conference. Sho, having had a full night's sleep compared to Takuya's late-night preparation, gladly took the wheel for the drive home.

With a gentle hum, Sho started the car. Takuya, overwhelmed by fatigue, surrendered to sleep in the passenger seat and Sho instinctively chose a longer route home, prioritizing Takuya's needed rest. He even made a quick detour to a drive-thru, getting them both meals without disturbing Takuya's slumber.What would have been a 30-minute trip had stretched to 45 minutes thanks to Sho's detour. However, the peaceful rise and fall of Takuya's chest reassured Sho that the extra time was worthwhile.

Stretching and yawning, Takuya realized they were still on the road. His gaze drawn to the unfamiliar landscape outside the car window. "Eh? Are we lost? Did we miss a turn somewhere?"

"Nope," Sho said with a smile "You looked so peaceful asleep, I couldn't bear to wake you up, so I took a detour. Hope you got some good rest."

Takuya chuckled gently, his eyes twinkling. "You spoil me! Don't worry, the nap definitely helped, let's go home!"

"Yeah, sure thing!" Sho replied. "I just wanted to make sure you were comfortable and had the opportunity to catch your breath."

Takuya watched the scenery flit by, a warm feeling blooming in his chest at Sho's care. Lately, life felt particularly good. Never had he felt so blessed, cherished, and understood. He couldn't remember being more grateful for both being loved and for truly expressing his own love in return. He knew, with unwavering certainty, that choosing Sho was the best decision he'd ever made, and the feeling only intensified with each passing moment. "I must resist the urge to kiss you right now," he admitted, his voice barely a whisper as he shyly looked away.

Sho glanced at Takuya, his hand steady on the wheel. He saw the hidden longing in Takuya's eyes despite his attempt to appear nonchalant. Sho's voice softened, "You can try to resist all you want, try not to kiss me." he said with a teasing smile.

Takuya sighed and interjected, "Actually, could we pull over at the next gas station? I need to use the restroom."

Sho didn't question Takuya's request. He turned the car smoothly towards the gas station. "Okay," he replied kindly. Take your time and let me know-mmmhh!"

With a surge of longing, Takuya reached for Sho. Their lips met in a heated kiss, their tongues danced, exploring and savoring each other's warmth. A moan escaped Takuya's lips, swallowed by the urgency of the kiss, as their bodies pressed closer. Each touch, each breath, whispered promises and unspoken declarations of love, fueling the flames of their passion further. In that moment, the world around them ceased to exist, replaced by the intoxicating intimacy.

Sho felt his pulse quicken with the intensity of the kiss. He was aware of his own rising arousal. But before he could get lost, Takuya pulled back, leaving them both breathless. "Seems you were anticipating that one," Takuya teased.

"Remember what you said earlier about feeling the urge to kiss me?" Sho asked softly, "I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Hold your horses there," Takuya chuckled, wanting to lighten the mood and change the subject. "Not now. Not in this car, at least."

"Alright," Sho agreed. "Go to the restroom."

"Whoa," Takuya said, surprised. "Maybe we should cool it down a bit, sweetheart. Public restrooms aren't exactly the most romantic setting."

Shaken by Takuya's sharp reaction, Sho's laughter sputtered out. He reached out and gently grasped Takuya's arm, his gaze calming. "Easy," he soothed. "You mentioned needing to use the restroom, and I simply suggested you go ahead. That's all."

Takuya chuckled nervously. "Busted! Okay, fine, I admit it. The restroom excuse was a little white lie. I just..."

"I figured it out," Sho said calmly. "I just wanted to see how long you'd keep it up."

Taking a deep breath, Takuya gathered his courage. His voice trembled with hesitation. "Your presence in my life has been a constant source of comfort and strength. Could it be that, I've become too reliant on your kindness? Perhaps even using it in ways that are not entirely fair to you?"

This wasn't new. Sho saw the familiar doubt cloud Takuya's eyes. He knew Takuya often cast himself as the 'bad guy', misinterpreting their dynamic. Sho decided to address this directly, reassuring Takuya that he accepted him fully, including his vulnerabilities. He saw these vulnerabilities as stemming from a strong desire for connection and protection, even if the actions taken weren't always perfect.

"Go ahead, do whatever you want with me, push me to my limits if you need to," Sho said, a determined glint in his eye. He sighed softly, his gaze warm, then added, "It's not kindness, just me expressing my love in the way I know makes you happy."

Takuya whined, "My arms are itching to give you a hug, but you're busy driving! So please don't tempt me."

"Hold that hug until we get home, okay?" Sho said, signing that he didn't want to stop saying what he said. "For now, I want to say 'I love you' more often. I'm hopelessly in love with you. Maybe hearing it more will replace any doubts you have, even if it means driving you slightly crazy."

Unable to contain his delight, Takuya let out a joyful laugh. However, his moment was cut short by the insistent ring of Sho's phone, displaying the manager's name. "Duty calls," he said, a playful grin tugging at his lips.

"Could you answer and let him know I'm driving?" Sho explained, staying alert to the road.

Without missing a beat, Takuya reached for the phone and responded to the call on Sho's behalf.

"Hello, Nishigaki-kun,"

"Ah. Hello, Manager-san. This is Kusakawa Takuya speaking," After turning on the speakerphone, Takuya introduced himself. "Sho's currently driving and couldn't answer your call."

"Oh? You guys haven't made it back yet? You should have been home by now, considering you left the event early and all."

"Mmm-hmm," Takuya confirmed. His gaze landed on the two boxed meals in the backseat. "We, uh, picked up some food on the way," he admitted, mouthing a silent "thanks" to Sho for the treat.

"Okay, I have something to discuss with Nishigaki-kun. Would it be alright if I stop by your apartment after lunch, or would you prefer I text him instead?"

Takuya quickly responded, "No problem at all, Manager-san. We're glad you're coming by." he said. "We'd love to see you after lunch." Takuya reassured him before hanging up the phone. He double-checked the lunchboxes. Turning to Sho with a warm smile, he said, "You're the best, Sho," he admired his partner thoughtfulness.

"I was just buying time while you were sleeping," Sho reasoned.

"Buying time or buying food?" Takuya amused.

Sho shrugged. The sound of Takuya's unrestrained laughter was music to Sho's ears. It confirmed what he already felt deep down - their connection was strong, and any shadows of insecurity had faded away.

The joyful atmosphere of the day was shattered when Sho's manager arrived at the apartment and delivered news about his new drama. "It's about your new drama," he explained. "They've adjusted the filming schedule to accommodate your wedding. Since you'll be away for a week afterwards, they'd like you to film episodes 1 to 5 back-to-back before you leave. I sent the revised schedule through LINE, could you please take a look?"

The dishwashing sponge froze midair. Sho frowned, realizing he couldn't remember the last time he'd seen his phone. "Hold on," he mumbled, wiping suds on a dry towel before scanning the cluttered countertop. "Maybe I left it on the..." his eyes scanning the room where he might have left it last.

"I got you!" Takuya said, his steps light as he disappeared into the bedroom. Within seconds, he was back, handing it to him. Takuya started to move away, giving Sho pace with his manager. But before he could get away, Sho's hand shot out, catching his wrist with surprising strength, a silent command to stay. "What-"

"I think it's important he's aware of this too, isn't it, Manager-san?" Sho asked, seeking the manager's understanding before Takuya could leave. Nodding decisively, the manager prevented any further debate. "See, I told you!" Sho exclaimed with a satisfied smile after the manager agreed. "Now, let's dive into the schedule together."

Recognizing the manager's presence, Takuya complied and reviewed the schedule. His breath hitched slightly as he saw the packed agenda, leaving Sho with only one day of true rest each week. "This seems quite... demanding," he muttered quietly, hoping Sho wouldn't overhear.

"The wedding preparations require some of my time, and I'm worried about the overlap with this schedule," Sho emphasized to the manager. "Even though we're aiming for a simple ceremony, but it still needs my attention. Maybe we could find some room for adjustment in the schedule and-"

"Please confirm that Sho will follow the filming schedule," Sensing Sho's hesitation, Takuya gently took over. He had a feeling Sho might continue negotiating, so he wanted to be clear. "I'm on a break and can handle all the wedding stuff, so you can commit to the filming without worry."

"I want a chance to help out!"

"Marrying me is more than enough help," Takuya sprinkled his common sense with a dash of flirtation, hoping to sweet-talk Sho into seeing things his way. "You've already said I'm taking the lead on most of the prep since I'm on a break from work. So, let me do the spoiling, okay?"

"I apologize, Kusakawa-kun," the manager said regretfully. "I tried my best to advocate for your situation, but the production team is firm on their schedule due to deadline constraints."

"No problem at all, Manager-san! We're professionals, and we're happy to adapt to the schedule. Deadlines are important, and we're here to make the project a success." A warm smile confirming his respect for the decision.

Despite the manager's repeated apologies, Takuya remained calm and reassuring. Once the manager was gone, Takuya turned to Sho, only to be met with a hard stare. "There's a part of me that wants to be angry with you right now," Sho said frankly.

With a wistful sigh, Takuya chuckled, pretended to groan dramatically. "Seems like our cuddle time gets postponed." he teased, stepping closer. He closed the gap between them, playfully challenging Sho. "Now that you hate me, tell me when do I get the hug we mentioned in the car?"

Sho didn't say a word, choosing instead to envelop Takuya in a strong hug. The intensity eased after a moment, transforming into a slow, soothing sway as they held each other tight. Takuya's fingers tapped a comforting beat on Sho's back. A feather-light kiss landed on Sho's neck, followed by Takuya's calm words, "Everything's gonna be alright, big guy."

♡

Sho woke up after a restful night's sleep. He looked towards the right side of the bed and saw Takuya still nestled comfortably under the thick blanket. Sho inhaled deeply, captivated by the sight of Takuya's peaceful face. He noticed Takuya's lips were unusually pink this morning. This sparked a sudden curiosity in Sho. "Interesting," he muttered to himself, feeling a bit flustered as he pondered the reason behind it.

Sho spent a minute scrolling through his social media feed. He realized he had a free day today, but had to leave Takuya again the day after tomorrow. An update on his social media timeline sparked an idea in his mind. He rose from the bed and headed to the bathroom to freshen up. After getting ready, he went straight to the kitchen and started preparing breakfast. He made sure to set aside a portion for Takuya in the refrigerator. Then, Sho returned to the bedroom.

"Takuya-kun," Sho spoke softly to his sleeping fiance. He crouched down next to the bed to see Takuya's face clearly. Takuya stirred slightly and mumbled something. "There's something I need to do, so I'll be leaving for one or two hours. Don't worry, I'll be back soon. I made you breakfast and left it in the refrigerator."

Takuya continued to mumble in his sleep. the sounds suggesting he might be slightly annoyed by the interruption to his sleep. Sho let out a quiet laugh before standing up straight, prepared to head out.

"Be safe, Sho..."

Sho shut the door behind him, the sound of Takuya's raspy voice faint through it. Determination filled him as he stepped outside the apartment. Certain things were beyond his control, and his plans didn't always unfold as intended. Therefore, finding a solution was crucial.

♡

The practice room buzzed with the energy of the 8 Bullet Train members who had just wrapped up their routine. Having recently concluded their tour, the group was now focused on preparing for their next single. Determining who would take center stage remained a crucial point of discussion. Numerous options had been explored, keeping the issue at the forefront of their thoughts throughout the day and even into the night.

That's the current situation. Their focus was entirely on this single, leaving no space or attention for other matters, at least until...

Haru's eyes widened in surprise as he stared towards the door. "Nishigaki-kun?!" he blurted out.

The mention of a familiar name not heard since Takuya's departure piqued everyone's curiosity, drawing their attention towards the doorway. Standing there, they saw their manager enter the room, accompanied by Sho.

Curious about Sho's presence, Yuki asked jokingly, "Is he joining the group?"

"Hello everyone," Sho began with a friendly greeting. He gave a slight nod. "It's good to see you all again."

Ryoga's eyes grew wide in surprise. "Nishigaki-kun?!" he exclaimed. "What brings you here? Did something happen to Kusakawa Takuya, or are you here to potentially take his place?"

"Ah," Sho stifled a chuckle, surprised by Ryoga's enthusiasm this early. "Actually, neither of those guesses are correct."

Kai approached Sho. "Did you come by just to deliver the wedding invitation?" Kai looked at Sho expectantly, searching for any item he might be holding.

"The wedding invitations will be sent electronically," Sho said, acknowledging Kai's mistaken assumption with a friendly smile. "The real reason for my visit is to offer a sincere apology." Sho then stood a little taller and bowed deeply to the group members.

The unexpectedness of Sho's deep bow surprised the 8 Bullet Train members. They found themselves drawn together in the center of the room, standing directly in front of him, unsure of the situation.

Takashi spoke up, hoping to understand the situation. "Does this have something to do with Takuchan?"

"Wait, really?" Surprise flickered across Yuki's face at Takashi's suggestion.

"Please understand," Sho said after straightening up from his bow. "I never intended for Takuya-kun to depart from the group. We both tried to find a solution, but when he chose to handle things on his own, I wasn't anticipating his choice to leave."

"Okay, that makes sense." Shuya acknowledged the situation. "Nishigaki-kun, you've known Takuya-kun for a longer period compared to some of us, isn't that right? We only had senior-junior interactions with him, and our deeper connection began when I officially joined the group."

Sho agreed, "That's true. I met Takuya-kun before some of you joined the group."

"Given your longer history with Takuya-kun, you likely had a better understanding of his potential responses in that situation," Shuya assumed. "However, based on the outcome, it seems you may not had fully considered all his options."

"Right on point," Ryoga chimed in. "Maybe Takuya surprised you, but also a missed opportunity to consider your own influence on the situation. Didn't you think there was a possibility Takuya might go to such lengths?"

"You were right," Sho admitted. "Honestly, I wish I had listened to you about the situation. Looking back, maybe ignoring your concerns kinda messed things up. I should have-"

"Hold on," Kai interrupted. "the issue is you kinda downplayed your importance to Takuya. You didn't think he'd go all out for you, right? Look, I've known Takuya the longest out of all of us, but even Ryoga, Takashi, and Yuki noticed how much Takuya goes above and beyond for you. It's like his whole mood changes when it comes to you, Nishigaki Sho-kun," Kai explained. "That's also why we didn't want him to find out about the ticket sales drop, because we knew his reaction might be intense."

"Honestly, we figured if he found out, he might choose to leave." Yuki concluded. "We all knew it was a possibility."

Sho's eyes welled up as he offered a warm smile. Hearing how much Takuya cares about him from everyone really touched him. "Knowing this, I want to make sure I put in the effort to show him how much I care too."

"There you go again," Aloha pointed out. "You keep saying you aren't showing Takuya-kun enough care, but you literally almost cancelled the wedding for his sake, right? You did it because you thought being with the group mattered to him. You prioritize him a lot, maybe even a bit too much in that situation." Despite not usually voicing his opinions on their situation, Aloha felt compelled to speak up about the situation.

"You have nothing to be insecure about, Nishigaki-kun," Masahiro commented. "It's crucial to have faith in yourself. You gotta stop putting yourself down. Takuya-kun clearly went all out to be with you, right? That should tell you something about how much you mean to him."

"Alright, now that everyone's had their say," Takashi said with a nod. "We just want you to know we're all here for you, no matter what. So, ditch the worries, have a blast, and be happy together. No apologies needed!"

Sho finally let out a chuckle, feeling significantly calmer than when he first came into the room. The Bullet Train's manager, who had previously managed Takuya, offered Sho a pat on the back, showing strong support.

"Actually, there's one more thing on my mind," Sho began. "I was hoping I could get some help with something."

The previously cheerful members grew silent, their smiles fading. A sense of anticipation filled the room as they all wondered what Sho might say next.

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