Chapter 3: Shattered Emotions

"If I could deceive myself, then I don't need reality.But I couldn't escape from the sadness.The scars are now part of the love."Silly by Leo Ieiri

❥

Their life as a couple wasn't your typical love story. Sho was knee-deep in drama shoots, constantly under those hot set lights, and rocking it out on stage like nobody's business. Meanwhile, Takuya was practically living on tour with his boy band, squeezing in ads and photoshoots when he could. They barely caught a breath together, just these quick hellos in the whirlwind of their jam-packed days. Juggling all that? A real head-spinning challenge. But what held them together was their love. It was their lifeline, their go-to when things got insane, kinda like the glue that kept their crazy worlds from falling apart, their anchor when things got absolutely bananas, the mysterious thing that somehow made their crazy lives feel right.

As they reached the one-month milestone in their relationship, Takuya bravely brought up the idea of moving in together. Now, six months down the road, they were sharing more than just a living space-they shared a life. However, their jam-packed schedules persisted, often forcing them apart for extended periods. Despite the physical distance, Takuya felt an immense happiness, like he got a backstage pass for peeking into Sho's life. It was in the routine messages they exchanged - from the cheerful "good morning" texts to the casual updates about their days. Even the shared playlists or the spontaneous phone calls, where the background noise told a story of Sho's surroundings, became cherished moments for Takuya.

Takuya also found joy in witnessing Sho's daily life unfold before his eyes when they were together-the impromptu movie nights, the laughter that filled the room during board game evenings, the way he greeted their neighbors, his fondness for arranging his bookshelf or the way he'd pause to pet their neighbor's dog during their walks in the nearby park. added depth to Takuya's understanding of Sho's life. They were windows that added depth to Takuya's understanding of his boyfriend.

One day, Takuya's fellow boy group members, aware of Sho and Takuya's relationship, started to notice that something was amiss. During dance practice on a tour break, Takuya's enthusiasm seemed altered, as if he was lost in his own thoughts.

Kai, leaning against the wall, observed Takuya dancing, couldn't help but remark, "This isn't healthy."

Takashi, tired of being caught in the middle of the Takuya and Sho situation, threw his hands up in surrender. "I'm out. I don't want to get involved in this Takuya and Sho thing anymore."

Yuki then interrupted, taking matters into his own hands by turning off the music without asking. "Remember, you're not getting any younger, and now you have a boyfriend. Take care of your health," he offered, his tone tinged with sarcasm but laced with genuine concern. "Step back and sort out your issues!"

With a sigh, Takuya conceded, taking a seat on the side of the room.

Ryoga joined in. "Okay, spill the beans. Are we in the middle of 'The Chronicles of Missing Nishigaki Sho-kun: Season 2'?"

"Nah," Takuya replied casually, "he's just caught up with work."

"So, spill the beans," Ryoga probed further, his curiosity fully ignited. "What's been bothering you?"

Takuya finally opened up about his frustration, "Two weeks back, Sho's manager brought in this female assistant, Manna-san. She's... a bit much? I can't really tell. She shows up super early almost every day to pick up Sho. It's frustrating because she's overly attached. I'm not sure if it's just a nurturing attitude or if it's part of her job, but it's getting on my nerves."

Takashi shared a knowing look with Yuki, who seemed rather entertained by the unfolding situation.

Yuki suppressed a laugh, wearing a smirk as he teased, "I didn't realize you were the possessive type."

Takuya defended himself, clarifying, "I'm not possessive. She's just overly suspicious and annoying. She even rang up Sho on his days off when he was with me."

Takuya went on to describe how Manna-san would use physical touch with Sho, such as patting his back or tousling his hair. "Isn't that crossing the line a bit?"

"Have you discussed this with Nishigaki-kun?" Takashi proposed, offering a solution.

"No, I guess it's just me unable to see things objectively," Takuya admitted. "Besides, she doesn't even know that Sho is in a relationship."

Kai, being straightforward as usual, hissed, "Then you gotta set things straight with her. Tell her you two are boyfriends."

Takuya had always wanted to address it, but Sho never initiated the conversation. When their neighbors asked, Sho simply referred to them as shared-house partners.

Takuya responded Kai with a noncommittal shrug. "Maybe another time."

♡

The following day, Takuya rose earlier than Sho, just going through his usual morning motions when the doorbell chimed. He couldn't help but let out a sigh, realizing without a doubt who waited outside the door.

"Good morning, Kusakawa-kun," greeted Manna. Her presence was an unwelcome intrusion.

Takuya nodded with respect, acknowledging the significant age gap between them. "Sho's still sleeping," he informed her politely.

"That's unusual," Manna commented. "I've never stepped into his bedroom. Where's his room? I can give you a hand in getting him up."

Takuya set down a glass with more force than necessary, catching Manna's attention. He decided it was time to address the issue. "Listen, Manna-san-"

Just as Takuya was about to speak, Sho appeared from the bedroom, rubbing his eyes. Takuya couldn't help but hold back his frustration.

"Oh, Manna-san, good morning." Sho greeted her.

Takuya, on the verge of losing his patience, refrained from snapping and turned his back on them. Little did he know, Manna was still eyeing him, ignoring Sho's greeting.

"Please sit down. I'll get ready soon," Sho suggested, clearly unaware of the underlying tension.

Just as Sho was about to retreat back into the bedroom to get ready, Manna unexpectedly interjected, saying, "You're off work today, Nishigaki-kun. I simply wanted to see you."

Takuya froze, his irritation and frustration building. Determined not to glance back at them, fearing he might lose his cool, he gripped the glass in his hand tighter, struggling to maintain his composure.

Sho chuckled in response to her statement, looking puzzled. "Huh? Have you been drinking again, Manna-san?"

Manna laughed at her own candidness, "Ah, just kidding. I'm actually here to invite you to the amusement park tomorrow. Tomorrow's Saturday, you know? I have free tickets for us."

"Wow, really? Out of nowhere?" Sho exclaimed, surprised by the sudden invitation.

"Kusakawa-kun, you're in too," Manna said, including Takuya in the plan. "Let's enjoy ourselves this weekend if you're available."

Without waiting for a response from either of them, Takuya finally turned to face the woman, wearing a wry smile. Without waiting for a response from either of them, Takuya finally turned to face the woman, smiling bitterly, "I'm sorry, but I'll have to pass on the offer. I haven't been feeling great lately."

Manna, displaying sympathy, expressed, "Ah, is that so? That's too bad."

"In that case," Sho began to refuse the invitation.

"Sho," Takuya, intervened before Sho could decline the offer, "Have some fun."

Sho was about to respond when Takuya, not waiting for an answer, busied himself with washing the glass, building a barrier for Sho to engage with him any further.

Manna left shortly after that, leaving the couple alone again. Sho could only watch Takuya from a distance, his worry growing with every passing second. He sensed that Takuya was uncomfortable with Manna's presence.

"If you don't intend to tell everyone that we're together, then do it with all your heart," Takuya spoke up, hiding his own vulnerability. "Imagine what she'll think if you reject the invitation just because I said I was feeling unwell. I'm helping you maintain the impression that we're just shared-house partners."

Sho realized the gravity of Takuya's emotions and took a deep breath. "I want you to tell me if you're not feeling well," he stated, his concern genuine.

Meeting Sho's gaze briefly, Takuya forced a smile. "I said I'm not feeling well, but it's just an excuse for not accepting her invitation. I don't know her, so you can go by yourself with her."

Sho fell silent, pondering the complexity of their emotions and the need to address them openly. He respected Takuya's hesitance, understanding that they both needed to grow in their relationship.

Takuya interrupted his thoughts as he handed Sho a glass of milk. "Drink your milk, Sho."

♡

The following Saturday arrived, and as Sho prepared to leave for the amusement park, he couldn't help but feel the lingering coldness in the apartment. Takuya might be warm, but something was amiss.

"Takuya-kun," Sho finally broached the subject as he watched Takuya prepare a lunchbox. "You know, I can cancel the plans."

Takuya finished packing the lunchbox, wrapping it neatly before handing it to Sho. He offered a reassuring smile and gave Sho two thumbs up, as though visually approving Sho's appearance from head to toe. "Look at you, Sho. You're already all set to go. You have a busy schedule and can't go to the amusement park whenever you want. Someone is offering you free tickets, so why don't you accept it?"

"I prefer-"

"Go, Sho," Takuya interrupted again. "I'll get some extra sleep while you're gone. I'll feel better to spend time with you when you come back."

Sho realized that Takuya was trying to make this decision as simple as possible for him. He leaned in and gave Takuya a kiss, then headed out to meet Manna for their day at the amusement park.

But as Sho headed toward the elevator, he heard a sudden crash and the sound of something shattering inside their apartment. Sho wondered if he had imagined it, unsure, until their neighbors, Yagi and Hagiwara, emerged from their own apartment, asking, "Did something break? Did you hear that?"

Sho rushed back, answering them, "Yes, it's from my apartment, I think. I'll check it right away."

Sho returned to their apartment and quickly scanned the living area, searching for Takuya. Not finding him there, he ventured into the bedroom and found Takuya, expressionless, collecting pieces of Lego that they had built together over days. It lay broken, dismantled back to square one.

"Takuya-kun...?" Sho called out, unsure of how to react to this situation. The room remained eerily quiet, save for the clinking of Lego pieces being sorted.

Takuya, with a vacant expression, continued to collect the Lego pieces, trying to return them to their initial state.

"Takuya-kun," Sho tried to get Takuya's attention by calling his name again, trying to bring Takuya back from wherever his mind had wandered. "please, just tell me what's-"

Takuya's gaze finally shifted towards Sho and called his name, "Sho," Takuya's expression remained devoid of emotion as he returned to sorting the Lego pieces. "Why are you still here?"

Sho was caught off guard by the detachment in Takuya's tone. "Huh? Look at yourself! You're not okay," he insisted. "I can't leave you like this."

Sho reluctantly left the room, closing the door behind him. He felt compelled to call Manna and cancel their plans, believing that caring for Takuya was the priority.

To Sho's surprise, Manna chuckled when he told her about it. She said, "I bet Kusakawa-kun is feeling a bit stressed because he's insecure about our relationship. Both of you should just tell me and everyone else that you're boyfriends. Then everybody will know you're taken."

Manna explained that she had known about their relationship from the start, thanks to their manager, but had pretended not to know, respecting their privacy. She concluded with a piece of advice, "But every choice has consequences, you know? If no one knows you're unavailable, whose fault is it when someone aggressively approaches you? Anyway, today I'm going on a date with my husband after a long time. I thought we could do a double date, but it can't be helped. Send my regards to your boyfriend," before ending the call.

"Sho..." Takuya slowly opened the door behind Sho. "I'm sorry... for the Lego..."

Sho offered a reassuring smile. "It's okay," he said as he gently pulled Takuya into a warm embrace. "I'll be with you today, taking care of you. And soon, we'll let the world know that we're together, alright? So no one will approach us carelessly anymore."

Takuya was taken aback by Sho's words. He had yearned for this moment, for their relationship to be acknowledged, yet he never expected it to come right after his emotional outburst. He felt a mix of emotions - relief, gratitude, and a tinge of regret for letting his jealousy get the best of him.

Unable to contain the turmoil of emotions within him, Takuya began throwing small, feeble punches at Sho's chest while struggling to free himself from the embrace. His voice trembled as he tried to speak without breaking into tears. "I've always wanted to do that, to tell people that you're mine! Why haven't we talked about it? Do you still think that I'm the only one sparkling here? Can't you see that people are approaching you? I'm the one who's insecure because you shine so brightly! I hate you for this, really!"

Sho continued to hold Takuya close. Everytime Takuya tried to wriggle free, Sho gently pulled him back, as if he understood that Takuya needed this emotional connection. He felt the storm of Takuya's emotions, waves of insecurity and frustration crashing against. Sho remained steady, offering his warmth and unwavering support, no matter how many times Takuya resisted. He let Takuya release the emotions that had been building up inside him.

Takuya's resistance gradually diminished, his punches growing weaker, replaced by the flood of tears. Sho watched him cry, his heart aching for the pain Takuya had been harboring. Sho realized that this outburst was a release of pent-up emotions that had needed an escape. Sho simply listened. Every sentence, every sob, only strengthened his resolve to ensure that their relationship would no longer be hidden in the shadows.

Sho felt Takuya's body gradually relax until he almost lost his footing from drowsiness, signaling his exhaustion, likely due to the fever medicine he had taken earlier in the day.

Sho carefully helped Takuya lie down on the bed. He tucked him in under the soft blanket. Takuya's breathing became steadier, and the tension that had once gripped him began to relax. Sho sat by Takuya's side for a while, silently watching Takuya drifted into a more peaceful slumber.

He realized that taking care of Takuya's physical well-being was far simpler than addressing the emotional complexities that came with their hidden relationship. It was a moment of clarity for Sho, understanding that their journey together would require open communication, a mutual commitment to face their insecurities, and a profound understanding of each other's perspectives.

"I cherish you so much, Takuya-kun," Sho whispered again as he gently brushed Takuya's cheek with his finger. "Get well soon, alright?"

❥