Tess~ 3

Tess hadn't left the house since the party. She hadn't answered Katie's calls, or anyone's texts. She was shutting everyone out again. She'd hear a knock at the door from Naomi or Emily but she didn't dare go open it. She didn't know what she would say. 

Michelle gave her space but she eventually told her what happened that night and she was furious to say the least, at both of them- Cook and Theo. 

Just thinking about it made her sick. It didn't help that it happened right next to where she had to sleep every night.

Tess didn't ever want to run into Theo again but she wasn't exactly happy with Cook either. He fought Theo and made everything worse when half the fucking school was watching. And no doubt there would be talk and rumours about what had happened. 

God she was dreading Katies inevitable 'I told you so' lecture when she got back to school.

She groaned, rolling over in bed and burying her face into her pillow, blocking out the streams of light trickling into the room. Tess had already taken a couple days off of school but it seemed her mother wasn't having it any longer.

"Tess, get up! It's 8:20!" Her mum's voice broke through her sleep, followed by a furious knock at the door.

"Mum, do I have to?" Tess mumbled, groggy and still tangled in her blankets.

"Tess, you've missed two days already. It's time to face it," her mum insisted, yanking the curtains open, letting the harsh light flood in. "Now, I know you're refusing to talk to me about what happened, but if you're not going to tell me, there's no reason you shouldn't go."

"But-"

"That's final," her mum said firmly.

Tess groaned, dragging herself out of bed. She grabbed her phone, checking the messages - not that she intended to open them. Three missed calls from Katie, two messages from Naomi, and even JJ had texted asking if she was okay. She turned it off and tossed it back onto the bed. She'd have to face them all today anyway.

As much as Tess prided herself on her outfits she could not be bothered today, so she pulled on a jumper that hadn't seen the light of day in years. She looked in the dirty mirror, running a hand through her unwashed hair; this was definitely the worst she had looked in a while.

She had History first and Cook was fortunately not there. She only had to deal with Panda. It'll be fine, right? 

As she walked into the classroom, she spotted Panda sitting at her usual desk, scribbling in a notebook. Tess hesitated for a moment before slowly heading over.

"Hey," Tess muttered, dropping her bag onto the desk next to Panda.

Panda looked up, giving Tess a small, uncertain smile. "Tess! You're back, that's great"

Tess nodded slowly, but the words didn't come. She didn't know where to start, if she even wanted to start. Instead, she flopped into her seat and stared blankly at the front of the class.

Panda hesitated for a second, then spoke up, trying to break the silence. "Are you ok Tess? You seem a bit, you know, miffed."

Tess finally met her eyes, grateful for the effort, but the words felt too heavy to say. "I'm fine, Panda" she muttered, her voice barely above a whisper.

Before Pandora could respond, the door swung open, and their teacher, Tom, walked in. "Alright, everyone, settle down!" His voice was high-pitched and awkward.

He began handing out worksheets on the cold war, Tess tried to hide her face when he went past them- but it was too late.

"Tess!" he exclaimed over the noise as he shuffled through some papers. "Where have you been? You missed our presentations this Monday."

Tess just gave him a blank stare, unsure of how to respond. Panda, however, jumped in too quickly. "She went bonkers because Katie was being a proper cow. And then, uh, Cook tried to fight the funny looking guy and bashed his head into the ground it was mental, and no one knows what really happened except for Cook who gets all bogged off whenever we ask, he's being a right-" 

"Panda, shut up" Tess snapped. 

"Oh bollocks, I've said too much again, haven't I?" 

Tom, clearly confused but eager to move on, adjusted his glasses and gave them an awkward smile "Right... um, okay then," he said, glancing at Tess. "Well, I'm glad you're back. Just, uh, try to keep up, alright?"

"Alright, team," Tom chirped, finally getting back to business, "let's focus. Cold War, yeah? Time to thaw out the facts!"

Tess groaned as she rested her head on the table, Pandora rambling on about Thomas in the background, eager to leave already.

--- ----- ---

At break, Tess was trying to navigate through the crowded hallways, her head down and music playing in her headphones far too loud. She wasn't in the mood for any more chatter, but of course, people had other plans.

"Tess, your party was so safe, yeah?" a voice called out. She turned to see some random kid from her year, a girl she barely knew, smiling like they were best friends.

Tess gave her a blank stare, all the while nodding curtly. "Cool" she muttered, her annoyance building. 

Another voice cut through the buzz of the hallway. "Heard you had a bit of a drama with a guy from the posh school and Cook?" It was Jackson, an insufferable kid from the other side of the corridor, grinning like he knew everything. "What happened? They fight over you or something?"

Tess clenched her jaw. "What?" she snapped, her voice sharp with irritation. "What are you on about?"

The girl who had asked about the party piped in again, this time with a half-whispered giggle, "Yeah, there was all this talk, like you cheated on Theo and Cook-"

Another girl chimed in "I heard you and Cook snogged. Did you really hook up though?"

Tess couldn't take it anymore. "Just, leave it will you?" she shot back, her frustration bubbling over. She turned on her heel, pushing past them without another word.

Just as she was about to escape into the bathroom to get a little peace, she heard someone yelling her name.

"Tess! Tess!" Katie was running toward her, her face twisted with worry. "Where the fuck have you been? Please, just talk to me. I've been calling and calling. I was seriously worried, babes."

Tess stiffened at the sound of Katie's voice, her throat tightening with frustration. She hadn't wanted to deal with any of this, but here Katie was, barreling in like she always did.

"I'm fine Katie," Tess said, barely meeting her gaze. "I don't need you checking up on me."

Katie reached out, trying to grab her arm, but Tess shrugged her off. "I'm just trying to help. I'm worried about you, alright? You disappeared, and didn't answer any of my calls. Everyone's talking about the party, and I don't know what happened, but—"

"I don't care what they're saying!" Tess said, cutting her off. She took a step back, "I know you care so much about what other people think but to be honest I can't be fucking bothered. Ever thought I just don't want to talk about it"

Katie stood still, her expression softening a little. "I'm not asking for the details, Tess. I just want to know you're okay."

"Katie I'm fine." She pleaded, and began walking outside but Katie wasn't giving up.

"No you're not fine Tess. I don't understand why you're doing this to me again!" 

Tess stared at the ground "Doing what?"

"Shutting me out! Shutting everyone out. We used to tell each other everything but now... now I feel like I can't even keep up with what's going on!" Katie admitted "I just want you to talk to me. I want you to feel like you can talk to me."

"Fine! You really want to know what happened? Cook fucking kissed me, Katie. Cook! And you know what? For a second, it felt good. I thought it meant something. But then he goes and acts like a complete dick, picking a fight with Theo in front of everyone. Like that's what I needed! Now everyone knows about my business and he doesn't have anything to say about it."

Katie's jaw dropped, but Tess wasn't finished.

"And then there's you. You keep dragging me into your Naomi and Emily drama, like I'm supposed to pick a side? I can't, I can barely keep myself together. I'm done! I'm so done with all of it! You've been horrible Katie and you know it."

Katie stared at her, stunned into silence, but Tess kept going, her voice rising.

"And Theo? He-" Tess's voice broke, and she slowly pulled up her sleeve, revealing the bruises on her arm. "He tried to....I-I didn't know what to do."

Katies face froze in shock. She carefully squeezed Tess's hand, comforting the girl, who's tears where threatening to spill.  

"Cook fought him, yeah, but that didn't make it better. It just made it worse. Now everyone's got their stories, their rumours, and I'm just supposed to act like it's all fine?" She sniffed.

Tears were streaming down Tess's face now, and Katie finally stepped forward, her expression softening. "Tess..." she said gently, reaching out to her.

Tess shook her head, trying to pull away, but Katie tugged her into an empty classroom, away from anyone else. She wrapped her arms around Tess, holding her tightly as Tess finally broke down, sobbing into her shoulder.

Katie held her, stroking her hair. "I'm sorry, babe," she murmured. "I know I've acted like a complete bitch."

Katie pulled back slightly, brushing Tess's tears away with her thumbs. "No more secrets, yeah?" she said softly, offering a small, teasing smile. "But I'm still pissed you kissed Cook though. Fucking hell."

-------

The chill of the outdoors hit her as she pushed open the school's front doors, the fresh air momentarily grounding her. She took a deep breath, trying to steady herself.

Tomorrow. She'd try again tomorrow, but right now, she just wanted to be in her bed.

"Tess!"

The voice made her stop dead in her tracks. She turned slowly, reluctant to engage, and saw JJ jogging toward her, his bag bouncing awkwardly against his side.

"Tess," he said again, catching his breath as he reached her. "Are you, uh... are you okay?"

Tess sighed, folding her arms tightly across her chest. "Not really in the mood, JJ."

"I know, I know," he said quickly, his hands fidgeting nervously with the strap of his bag. "It's just—well, people have been, uh, saying stuff. And I thought, you know, I should check on you because... it's all a bit mad, isn't it?"

"JJ, I don't care what people are saying," Tess said flatly, her voice edging on irritation.

"Right, yeah, of course," he said, nodding far too rapidly. "It's just, uh... some of it's not great, you know? Like, someone said Cook punched Theo because Theo did something to you—which, uh, probably isn't true, right? And then, um..."

Tess groaned, pressing her fingers to her temples. "JJ, stop. Please."

He hesitated, biting his lip nervously, before blurting out, "And then someone else said you and Cook kissed, but—that's not true, either is it? Because Katie said—"

"JJ!" Tess snapped, her sharp tone cutting through the air like a whip.

JJ flinched, his expression crumbling into an awkward mix of regret and concern. For a brief moment, Tess felt a pang of guilt. But she was too exhausted, too fed up to deal with his nervous rambling.

"Sorry," JJ mumbled, stepping back slightly. His voice dropped to a hesitant whisper. "Is it... true?"

Tess stared at him, her anger softening but her exhaustion still heavy in her voice. "Yeah... it is," she admitted, her words barely audible.

JJ's eyes widened in horror. "Wait... all of it?"

She let out a bitter laugh, her sarcasm cutting through the tension. "Yeah, JJ. Everything. I'm officially fucked up for life. It's great. You should try it."

JJ looked like he wanted to say something, but Tess turned on her heel, walking away before he could. She glanced back once, catching his confused and slightly hurt expression, but she didn't stop. She didn't turn back.

--------

Tess slammed the front door behind her, the sound reverberating through the empty house. She dropped her bag by the stairs, her entire body tense. All she wanted was to crawl into bed, shut out the world, and pretend the day hadn't happened.

But as she reached the bottom step, her mum's voice rang out from the kitchen.

"Tess...? Is that you?"

Tess froze, her heart sinking. She turned to see her mum standing in the doorway, her expression a mixture of annoyance and concern.

Her mum wasn't supposed to be home yet.

"What are you doing home?" her mum demanded, stepping closer. "You're supposed to be at school."

Tess sighed, avoiding her gaze. "Didn't feel like it."

"Didn't feel like it?" Her mum's voice sharpened. "Oh, that's fantastic, Tess. Just throw your education away? Because that worked out so well for you last year."

Tess clenched her fists, the mention of last year hitting a nerve. "Don't start, Mum."

"No, I will start," her mum shot back, crossing her arms. "You're barely trying anymore, Tess. You think I don't notice? You're slipping back into old habits, staying out all hours, coming home looking like—"

"Like what?" Tess snapped, turning to face her.

"You know exactly what!" her mum fired back. "I'm asking if you've been doing it again. All the drinking? partying? The other stuff?"

Tess let out a bitter laugh. "Oh, here we go. It's always about last year, isn't it? You can't let it go."

"Because I'm terrified it's happening again!" her mum yelled, her voice breaking slightly. "You think I don't know when you're spiralling? I'm your mother, Tess!"

"Well, you're a bit late to the party," Tess spat, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Where was all this concern when Dad left? When we needed you?"

Her mum's face fell, but Tess didn't stop. The anger was bubbling over now, years of frustration pouring out in a torrent.

"You're too busy with your endless string of useless boyfriends to notice anything real! It's not about me, is it? It's about you and your perfect little image—making sure no one thinks you're a mess." The tears were welling now, "And when you do notice, it's just to have a go at me. I'm the one screwing up right? I'm the problem not you."

Her mum's voice softened, but her frustration burned through. "I've been trying to keep us afloat, Tess. You don't understand how hard—"

"Hard?" Tess interjected, bitterness seeping into her words. "You make it look like it's all fine, like everything's normal, but it's not. You're just pretending. Pretending to be perfect." Tess shouted, her voice cracking. "And I don't fit into that do I?"

"Tess, that's not true—"

"Isn't it?" Tess shouted, tears stinging her eyes. "Because that's how it feels, Mum! I'm the one who screws up. I'm the one everyone whispers about, I'm not perfect Michelle. Im just a fucking broken mess!"

Her mum tried to step closer, her voice trembling. "You're not broken, Tess. You've made mistakes, but-"

"Don't," Tess interrupted, her voice dropping into something raw and painful. "You don't know what it's like. To have people-people you trust-hurt you, over and over again. Or to go to school and hear everyone talking about you, making up lies, treating you like shit."

Her mum's eyes narrowed. "What are you talking about? What's happened?"

"Nothing! It doesn't matter," Tess snapped, turning away.

"No, it does matter," her mum said, grabbing her arm. "Tess, look at me. What's going on?"

Tess yanked her arm away instinctively, her sleeve riding up slightly in the process. Her mum's eyes fell to the many bruises on her wrist and arms, and her expression changed instantly.

"Tess..." she whispered, her voice trembling. "Who did that to you?"

Tess froze, her anger momentarily overtaken by panic. She pulled her sleeve back down, stepping away.

"It's nothing," she muttered, her voice shaky.

"It's not nothing," her mum said firmly, stepping closer. "Tell me. Who did this?"

Tess shook her head, tears threatening to spill out. "You wouldn't understand."

Her mum reached out again, her voice softer now. "Tess, if someone hurt you I need to know."

Tess let out a shaky breath, her walls finally crumbling. "He was drunk.... And he was angry. He didn't do anything he just... tried to."

"Why didn't you tell me about this?" Her mum said softly

"Because you never listen!" Tess snapped, wiping away her tears. 

Her mum pulled her into a hug, holding her tightly despite Tess's initial resistance. "I'm so sorry," she murmured, stroking Tess's hair as she cried into her shoulder. "I'm so, so sorry."

Tess sobbed against her mum, her anger and frustration finally giving way to exhaustion. For once, her mum didn't try to lecture her or push her away. She just held her, letting her cry until there was nothing left.

Tess nodded, her throat too tight to speak from the many times she had broke down into  tears today, but for the first time in a while she felt safe in her mothers arms.

COOK

Cook didn't go to school today. Couldn't be arsed. He didn't want to see her yet. 

Everything's a fucking mess anyway. 

After the kiss.... And the fight. Cook couldn't face anyone. He didn't want to deal with Freddie, or any of them or that psycho red having a go at me for making things worse. How was he supposed to know punching the shit out of this bastard was a bad thing? 

Fuck, he'd tried to get over Tess. He really did. But when she was that close... he couldn't stop it. He didn't even want to. Her lips pressed against his like she needed it as much as he did. 

It was like, for a second, all that shit that had happened in the past didn't matter. The way she looked at him... like that, like she actually saw him. Like she didn't hate him for all the shit he'd done. 

And he fuckin' liked it. 

But he couldn't let myself fall back into that. He told himself  he was done with her. She was a fucking mess. She wasn't what he needed. And he definitely wasn't what she needed. He didn't do relationships.

Yet here he was, sitting in his shitty flat, trying to block out the image of her face. Fuck. He hated that he was thinking about her. Hated that he was thinking about the way she kissed him like she meant it, like she didn't hate his fuckin' guts for once...But when he started to think about the good things he remember all the bad things too. Like when she rolls her eyes at everything he says, Her insistence on always being right, even when she's clearly in the wrong, or most of all, when she ran off with Theo and stopped talking to him for months- Theo was the bad influence on her right?

Cook hated Theo. Not just because he's a fucking prick, but because he tried to do that to her. Theo tried and he couldn't let him do that. So he punched him. Hard. And even though it felt good at the time, he knew I'd fucked up. Knew she was gonna be pissed.

Cook was still sitting there, replaying the kiss in his head, when Naomi rolled in. No hello or anything- Not that he minded. She's the only one who got him a little, even if she's a pain in the arse sometimes.

She dropped onto the bed next to Cook, lighting up a spliff and offering it to me. 

He took it, inhaling deep and slow, trying to push all the shit he was feeling down.

"Where were you today, then?" she asked, flicking the lighter closed.

"Didn't feel like it," He mumbled. 

Naomi raised an eyebrow, clearly not buying it. "Right. You're not exactly fooling anyone, Cook. People are talking about you.Tess...Theo."

Cook slowly took another drag, feeling the smoke hit the back of his throat, trying to steady himself. "I don't know," He replied, my voice rough. "I kissed her. She kissed me back. I don't know why the fuck she did."

She stared at him for a long moment, the smoke curling between them. "You're messing with her head, Cook," she says, her tone sharp. "You don't get it, do you? She's already been through enough. And now you're just fucking about with her again."

"Fuck me," He muttered, dragging on the spliff again. "Why is it always my fault? Im not trying to fuck about. It just... happened. It's her fault too. I don't know why I did it. I thought I was over her, you know? I tried to get over her."

Naomi snorts, leaning back, watching Cook with a mixture of annoyance and concern. "You've both been pulling this shit for months but refuse to sort it out. You don't know why you don't talk to her anymore, but you're still thinking about her. And I bet she is too.  Now you're back to this. What the fuck were you expecting?"

"I don't know, Naomi! I don't fucking know. But I can't just... turn it off, can I?" He snapped. 

He did want to turn it off. Didn't want to admit he cared.

Naomi crossed her arms. "And what's that gonna do for her, huh? You think you can just come in, kiss her, cause a scene in front of everyone and then just forget about it?"

He felt a knot forming in his stomach. "I didn't mean to make it worse, alright? But I wasn't gonna let him get away with it. "

She's quiet for a second, but he can tell she's trying to figure him out, trying to get through to him. She always did that.

"You don't know what you're doing, Cook," she says softly. "You never do."

Cook stood up abruptly, tossing the spliff into the ashtray. "I don't know why I'm doing this either." He muttered, mostly to himself. "I've gotta go."

-------

Cook couldn't believe he was actually doing this shit. It wasn't like him. He hated that she did this to him—made him into a fuckin' pussy.

He stared at the door like it was some sort of test. He wasn't sure why he came, but he couldn't back down now. His heart was pounding in my chest, something he didn't want to admit to, not even to himself.

He knocked, urgency in every strike. He felt bad about how impatient he was being, but he needed to see her. Needed to explain something... anything.

The door swung open, and there she was- Tess's mum.

She was a bit of a presence, a bit intimidating, especially when she gave him that look, like she'd already sized him up and didn't think much of him- they both did that same look. He tried to give her his most pleasant smile, the one that worked most of the time, but it didn't seem to do much on her.

"Hi...can I speak to your lovely daughter Tess?" He asked, trying to keep my voice steady, 

He was already regretting coming here. This was a stupid idea.

She raised her eyebrows "And why should I let you in young man?"

Cook stared at her blankly ,"Umm because I'm...Sorry?"

She let out a short, unimpressed laugh. One that was all too familiar. "There's a very infuriating boy wanting to speak with you, Tess," she called over her shoulder, voice carrying through the house.

Cook nervously shifted on his feet, but his stomach dropped when he heard Tess's voice from the other room. "Tell him I don't want to see him."

Fucking hell. She didn't even need to think about it.

"Come on, man, just let me talk to her for a sec," He pleaded. 

Tess's mum didn't say anything else, just turned and walked away.

The door creaked open a second later, and Tess stood there. She didn't even look at him; just stared straight at the floor, her arms crossed. She looked pissed—pissed and tired.

"Fuck off, Cook." Her voice was calm, but he could hear the sharpness in it.

Cook ran a hand through his hair, feeling the frustration build up again. He didn't know what I expected, but this wasn't it.

"I fucked it, alright?" He said, the words coming out before he could stop them. "I didn't mean to mess things up. But I'm not just gonna-"

She cut me off, that same look in her eyes. "Yeah, well, that's your problem, isn't it?"

He let out a shaky breath, "Look, I'm not leaving. If you're gonna tell me to fuck off, then fine. But I'm not doing it without saying what I came here to say. So just... hear me out."

She stayed silent for a moment, staring at him like she was trying to figure out if he was worth the effort.

Finally, she stepped back, almost like she was giving in—or maybe she was just curious.  He could see her mum eagerly peeking in through the kitchen.

"Fine," she said, her voice flat. "But we're not doing this here. Come on."

---------

Tess didn't know how she had made it to the harbour with Cook. The walk had been silent, but there was something about it that made her feel... less alone. She guessed she did want to hear him out, after all. He'd saved her ass twice now, and she hadn't even said thanks for it.

They sat in silence, the sound of the water lapping against the harbour the only noise between them.

"Cook?" Tess started softly, her voice a little shaky, unsure of where to even begin.

He just nodded, not saying anything, but his attention was on her.

"I never said thanks." Tess admitted, her gaze still locked on the water

Cook looked at her, his expression confused. "For what, babe?"

Tess swallowed, feeling the weight of the words she was about to say. "For taking me home that night," she said, her tone almost embarrassed. "And for... you know... helping me when Theo—"

Cook cut her off, his voice gentle but firm. "I know," he said, his eyes softening with something that almost looked like understanding. "I wouldn't have left yeh there."

Tess nodded, feeling the tension in her shoulders ease a little. She let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding in. "I don't know what would've happened if you hadn't come up... so..." Her voice trailed off, and for a moment, she wasn't sure what to say next.

They both sat there in silence again. 

But then Cook spoke, his voice low, hesitant, almost vulnerable in a way she didn't expect from him. "Look, Tess..." he began, rubbing the back of his neck. "I don't know what the fuck happened with us. I don't know why I kissed you, or why it felt like... it felt, but I know Im a fuck up, your better than that."

Tess felt a lump form in her throat at his words. She understood the weight of what he was saying, but it wasn't just him making things hard. It was both of them. A mess of their own making, tangled in the past and the hurt they'd both caused each other.

she began, her voice quiet but firm, like she was trying to steady herself. "I... I don't think I can do this right now. Not with anyone. Not with you." She paused, her hands clenched tightly in her lap. "I've got too much of my own shit going on. I've been trying to figure things out, but I don't think I'm ready for any of this... whatever this is."

Cook didn't say anything, just looked at her, his face unreadable. Tess could feel his gaze on her, but she didn't look up.

"I'm still dealing with last year, Cook. With everything that happened... and Theo...what I was doing to myself. I can't even trust myself right now, let alone—" She stopped herself, shaking her head, a breath escaping her as she tried to find the words. "I can't drag you into this, not when I'm... not when I'm like this."

Cook was quiet for a long moment, before he finally spoke, his voice low and resigned. "I know Tess," he said quietly. 

Tess nodded, her chest tight with everything she was trying to hold back. "I'm sorry," she whispered, the words slipping out before she could stop them. "I never meant for any of it to happen like this."

He gave her a small, almost sad smile.

Tess let out a breath, feeling the weight of what they were both saying. It wasn't a resolution, but it was an understanding.

At least they weren't pretending anymore.

"You know, all this stuff... it doesn't mean we can't still be friends, right?" Tess asked.

Cook's smile was faint but genuine. "Yeah, Tess. We're alright."

Without thinking, Tess leaned in and kissed him on the cheek—quick, soft, a reminder of the past, but no strings attached.

"So, uh... what have I missed?" she asked, her voice light, trying to bring some normalcy back into their conversation.

Cook laughed, the sound like music to her ears. "What, you mean besides all of this?" he gestured vaguely to Tess.

Tess raised an eyebrow, grinning. "Yeah, besides that."

Cook looked thoughtful for a moment, then shrugged. "Not much. Same shit, different day."

"Cool." Tess smiled, the first genuine smile in a while.