Cook ~1

A couple of weeks into college, and Tess still wasn't sure what to make of it. So far, it had been... interesting, to say the least.

Every day, Katie was on some kind of mission to force a friendship between them, Effy, and Panda—which made for some excruciating lunch hours. Emily was just as distant as ever, lost in her own world, but Tess couldn't quite figure out why.

Effy clearly wasn't interested one bit in Katie, and Tess didn't blame her. She had been chatting her ear off since day one, even as much as Pandora had been. JJ, one of Cook's mates, was sweet. A bit too excitable, a bit too obsessed with model cars and space, but overall, harmless. Freddie was nice too- more quiet and less...reckless. Tess still wasn't sure how those three had ended up as friends.

And then there was Cook.

The relentless little shit had made it his daily goal to wind her up. Whether it was loudly critiquing her outfits, asking for a quickie—or making comments about her tongue piercing with that shit-eating grin, pretending to like it but clearly just trying to piss her off.

He had this annoying talent for getting under her skin—not that she'd ever admit it.

And that, apparently, was how she'd ended up hanging around this random group of people.

It was during one of those particularly painful lunch hours, sitting with Katie, Emily, and the usual suspects, that Cook decided to announce his birthday plans. He swaggered over to their table with his usual confidence, a dart in his hand and announced loudly, "Right, you lot. It's my birthday next week, and we're having a proper piss-up."

Freddie, who was sitting nearby with JJ, rolled his eyes but smirked nonetheless. JJ, excited as ever to be part of something, chirped in, "Are you giving out invitations or just broadcasting it to the entire year?"

Cook laughed, a loud, carefree noise, and started flinging onto the table, crumpled-up pieces of paper that looked more like shopping lists than birthday invites. "Here, Freddie, JJ, Naoms you're in. Twins, Eff... oh and ye weird friend too."

"Oh wow thanks Cook! I've never been invited to a party before. This is gonna be great isn't it Eff?" Pandora said excitedly, Cook harmlessly laughing at her innocence

Cook chuckled at her enthusiasm, but when he got to Tess, he hesitated.

JJ, always too blunt for his own good, noticed. "Cook, you didn't give Tess one."

Cook smirked, raising an eyebrow. "Eh, I guess she can come."

"Wow, you're really rolling out the red carpet, Cook," Tess said dryly, taking the paper from him with an exaggerated eye roll.

"Don't get all emotional on me, babe," Cook teased, leaning a little too close to Tess. "Wouldn't want you fallin' for me."

Tess scoffed. "Please. I'd rather throw myself out of a window."

Cook just winked at Tess, clearly not bothered by the rejection. "See you at mine, then."

"What makes you think I'll come to your big birthday bash?" Tess teased

"Not think, love—know," Cook shot back with a playful grin. "See you there. You can thank me after, yeah?"

Tess smirked and leaned back in her chair. "No thanks, I've got a thrilling night of rearranging my undie drawer planned." She said sarcastically as Emily stifled a laugh

Cook just laughed, throwing an arm around JJ and swaggering off.

As much as he got on her nerves, there was something about Cook's relentless energy that made it hard to stay completely annoyed with him.

—

After school, Tess and Katie made their way toward the bus stop, dodging scattered groups of students lingering outside the gates.

"So," Katie started, nudging Tess with her elbow. "You're coming to Cook's thing then?"

Tess huffed, adjusting her bag on her shoulder. "Dunno. I mean, it could be really hilarious, but I don't exactly wanna give him the satisfaction."

Katie rolled her eyes. "Oh, babes, it will be so worth it. Just imagine the absolute state he's gonna be in—probably dancing on tables, getting his dick out... pure entertainment."

Tess smirked. "Sounds like a proper nightmare."

"Oh, it will be," Katie grinned. "That's why we have to go."

Tess hesitated, kicking a stray stone as they neared the crossroads where Katie usually split off toward her house. She wasn't gonna admit it, but part of her was already half-sold on the idea.

Katie saw the indecision on her face and groaned dramatically. "Tess, don't be boring. We'll go, we'll drink, and we'll take the piss out of everyone, yeah? It'll be a laugh."

—-

Tess woke up to the dull grey sky of Bristol pressing against her window. Typical.

She rolled out of bed with minimal effort, dragging herself downstairs. The last thing she wanted was to run into Paul, who seemed to be waiting around any corner to make small talk. Fortunately, the kitchen was Paul-free—instead, Michelle was hunched over a bowl of cereal, lazily shoveling spoonfuls into her mouth.

"Morning," Tess mumbled, reaching for the kettle.

"Hey," Michelle grunted back, barely looking up.

Tess squinted at her. "You alright?"

"Oh, fantastic. Just got this thrilling French essay to write. Great way to spend a Saturday, yeah?" Michelle muttered, swirling her spoon around the bowl

Tess winced. "Couldn't be me. I swear, I need to start actually listening in class or something."

Michelle raised an eyebrow. "Nah, don't bother if you don't give a shit. Just do well in the stuff you care about. The rest? Doesn't matter. No matter what Harriet tells you."

Michelle perked up slightly, tilting her head. "So, any big Saturday plans? Hopefully, you're spending it better than me. Now that I'm officially a boring adult, I have to live vicariously through your terrible choices."

Tess poured her tea, leaning against the counter. "Well, there's this birthday party for some guy in my class. Probably gonna be shit, but Katie's dragging me along."

Michelle's curiosity piqued. "Oh yeah? Who's the lucky bastard?"

"Cook." Tess said blankly. "Total dick."

Michelle let out a short laugh. "And yet, you're going to his party because...?"

Tess shifted. "I dunno! It could be fun. It's really all Katie though—"

Michelle's smirk was instant. "Ohhh, totally not about Cook."

Tess groaned. "Chelle—no. Trust me, he's an insufferable twat. He messes about too much, and he takes literally every opportunity to take the piss out of me."

Michelle wrinkled her nose. "Ugh, stay away then. Believe me."

Tess shot her a look. "Oh, you mean like you stayed away?"

Michelle's smirk dropped. "Wow."

Tess shrugged, unbothered. "Maybe take your own advice, Chelle."

Michelle rolled her eyes, going back to her cereal, but Tess could see the flicker of annoyance in her expression. She wasn't wrong, though.

—

Later that evening, Tess started getting ready. If this night had any chance of being good, she needed the right outfit.

The only problem? She never had the right outfit.

Despite owning a small mountain of clothes, nothing ever seemed to actually work. She tore through her drawers, rifled through the mess on her floor, and somehow ended up in the same crisis she always did—too many options, yet nothing perfect.

Eventually, she landed on a flowy black skirt she knew she wanted to wear. The real struggle was the top.

After way too much deliberation, she grabbed an off-the-shoulder blouse with loose sleeves, tied at the front, it's dark patterns shifting between black and grey. It would do.

With way less time than she planned, Tess slapped on her makeup, threw on a bunch of bracelets, and tossed her hair into a quick ponytail before bolting downstairs.

She would've made it out in time—if not for her mum and Paul walking through the door.

Marvellous.

"We're back!" Anna called from the hallway.

Tess tried to speed-run past her. "Bye, Mum, see you later—"

No luck.

"Hold your horses, Tess!" Anna said, exasperated.

Her arms crossed, expression suspicious. "Where are you going all dressed up?"

Tess shrugged, casual as ever. "Oh, just a friend's. Nothing special."

That was enough to satisfy Anna, who immediately lost interest. "Alright then, have fun."

But of course—Paul had to get involved.

"Looking good, Tess!" he called out.

Tess gritted her teeth. "Paul."*

He smirked. "C'mon now, where are you really going? Some party? A club? Meeting a boy? Don't worry, I won't tell your mum..."

Tess exhaled sharply, "Fuck off, Paul." She swung the door open and slammed it shut behind her.

----

Arriving at Cook's party, Tess felt a wave of disappointment as she stood outside the old, crumbling pub. It looked as miserable as the weather—paint peeling off the walls, broken windows patched up with cardboard, and a faded sign that barely hung on.

Inside, the atmosphere was slightly better but still grim.The very few people who were in there were mostly groups of older people coming for a round of poker. The smell of cheap beer and cigarettes clung to the air.

Before she could say anything, Cook's voice rang out, loud and obnoxious.

"Wey!" Cook shouted, a grin plastered on his face as he bounced over to the group. "Guys, guys, I'm so happy to introduce you to my legendary night out in celebration of my birthday!"

He threw his arms wide, as if expecting some sort of applause.

Tess rolled her eyes, leaning against the wall with a skeptical look.

"I'm 17 today, so all bets are off." Cook shouted, raising his voice over the noise. "Do what the fuck you like. Flush your mates down the toilet. Eat grapes off each other. Smash speakers over your heads. If partying's a crime, who's gonna get arrested first?"

Tess couldn't help but smirk at his words. Only Cook would try to make a party sound like a drunken riot waiting to happen.

"LET'S GO fucking MENTAL!" he screamed, jumping up and down, the enthusiasm completely over the top, practically pouring a pint of beer all over himself in the process.

Tess shot a look at Katie, whose face was twisted in disgust, and then at Effy, who seemed totally unfazed by the spectacle, of course.

---

Tess sat around the table, party hats on all their heads, watching the chaos unfold. They finished singing "For He's a Jolly Good Fellow," everyone off-key and so unenthusiastic. Tess leaned back, rolling her eyes as Cook basked in the attention. "Thanks, man. Thank you very much," he said dramatically, grinning.

He immediately rallied the group. "More drinks! More drinks! More drinks!" he chanted like a broken record. The group murmured agreements, and Cook bounced off to grab more drinks.

Tess shook her head. "He's fun," she said with a sarcastic smile.

Freddie chuckled. "You have no idea."

Moments later, Cook returned, grinning, holding a tray of tequila shots. "Tequila! Who's in?" he yelled, and everyone grabbed a shot, including Panda, who looked horrified after swallowing it.

Cook howled with each shot he took. By the end, he finished the whole tray, letting out one loud wolf howl. Freddie and JJ joined in, and Tess couldn't help but laugh at the ridiculousness of it all.

JJ grinned at Cook. "Want to see your birthday trick?"

Cook was all in. "Lay it on me, magic man."

Effy leaned over and whispered in Tess;s ear, "does he do magic?"

Tess let out a laugh, "Yep. Showed me his routine at school."

JJ covered a cup of water with a tea towel, revealing a goldfish once he took it off. "Shazam, motherfucker!" Cook shouted, downing the water and the fish.

"Jesus!" Katie screeched

Emily had to look away, "That is minging"

"Did you just swallow that?" Tess asked, wide-eyed.

Before anyone could respond, Panda puked all over the table.

"What's wrong with you?" Katie asked, disgusted.

Cook grinned, clearly unfazed. "We need a mop... and sixteen shots of TEQUILAAAA!" he cheered, not missing a beat.

Suddenly Naomi walked in, looking a bit unsure of herself as she scanned the room. Tess didn't know much about her—just that Katie hated her for some reason, and she and Emily had kissed once in secondary school. Tess thought it was probably just a drunken hookup, no big deal, but Katie definitely hadn't forgotten about it.

Katie, eyes narrowing, couldn't resist. "Oh, great, it's the lesbian come to gay us up," she muttered as Naomi stepped in.

Tess shot Katie a glare. "Katie, for fuck's sake," she snapped, but it didn't stop the tension from hanging in the air.

Emily quickly chimed in, "I've told you to fucking... Just leave it, ok?"

Naomi awkwardly cleared her throat. "Um, hi, everyone."

"Hi," Emily said flatly.

"Hi," Pandora added with a small wave, while everyone else murmured their greetings.

Cook, sensing an opening after hearing Katie's comment, leaned toward Naomi with a mischievous grin. "Want to know a secret?" he whispered, clearly not about to let the moment slide.

Naomi raised an eyebrow, trying to hide her discomfort. "What?"

Cook's grin widened. "I know the cure."

Naomi frowned. "The cure for what?"

Cook leaned in closer, his tone serious but his grin still teasing. "It's my cock."

Naomi stared at him, confused and a bit repulsed. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Before the moment could get any weirder, Emily jumped in, trying to steer things back to normal. "Hey, look what I've made." She held up a double chocolate chip cookie cake, offering it around to break the tension.

Cook, eyes lighting up at the sight of the cake, perked up. "Cake! Top, man, fucking top!"

Emily smiled, relieved for the distraction. "It's double chocolate chip cookie."

Cook grabbed a fork and dug in without missing a beat. "Cheers, girl. Mmmm. Cake. My cake! Mine! Fucking good, man..." He shovelled the whole thing into his mouth as the others watched in a mix of amusement and disbelief.

JJ raised an eyebrow. "You okay?"

Cook paused, looking unbothered, his mouth full. "Yep. Totally cool. Just a bit... you know, full."

Freddie shook his head. "Can't believe you ate the whole thing."

Cook shrugged nonchalantly. "Someone had to get this party started."

Tess raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. "Party? Do you call this a party?"

Katie quickly jumped in, matching Tess's skepticism. "Exactly. Where's the conversation? Where's the dancing? Where are the men?"

Cook, ever the instigator, grinned. "We're man."

Katie shot back, "You're boys."

Cook leaned back in his chair, looking smug. "Do you want to measure my dick? It's daddy-sized."

Cook seemed to notice everyone's dissatisfaction,"So, you lot think this party's shit, yeah?"

Emily hesitated. "It's a little bit..."

Pandora agreed. "It could be..."

Tess shrugged. "It's shit,"