Chapter 32- Letters for Cammie

Sorry once again for the long wait, I went to my cousin’s engagement party and didn’t come back until late this morning. This is the chapter you’ve all been waiting for, a lot will be revealed in this chapter, most of it being Cammie’s thoughts on what’s going on and what’s inside the card he gave her. I changed the description of the nurse form the last chapter, she has dark red hair instead of red and is older, around Rachel’s age. Can you guess who it might be? By the way the song above is Whatever it Takes by LIfehouse. Warning this chapter isn't edited. 

Shout-out to Boingo_2000 and Rkan777 for guessing the Harry Potter quote form the last chapter!!!!! I never knew I had so many readers that were potterheads as well!!

Random question before I start the chapter, what’s your favorite color? Mine’s green and blue J

Disclaimer Ally Carter owns all except the plot and everything goes to their rightful owners.

Chapter 32- Letters for Cammie

Cammie pov

Even though the tears have stopped falling aside for a few stray ones that escaped, I could still feel them in my eyes blurring my vision. “It’s ok to miss him” He told me in a soothing and quiet voice. He did make me feel a lot better. I miss my father every day, I just mask a smile to hide the pain. The army never found his body, so we visit an empty grave. I visit him often and every spare chance I get. I wish I could just see him once more, to tell him I love him.

A week before he lift to be deployed I had a nightmare about someone dying but their face was blurred. Now that I think about it, I should’ve taken it as a warming. We got the call a few weeks later telling us he died in battle and his body was lost. That was the only time I saw my mother break down. Not to be mean but she was a complete and utter mess. I vaguely remember what happened only the endless sobbing and grieving. I’m trying my hardest to erase that memory from my mind.

 “The ones that love us never really leave us and you can always find them in here” Zach said taking my hand (stuck with an IV) and putting it over my heart. I felt my heartbeat increase drastically. I was amaze at how one touch could affect me so much. I giggled mentally slapping myself. Since when did I giggle? Every time Zach comes near me I feel as if my brain turned into mush. Why does he affect me so much? (A/N: BECAUSE YOU’RE SOULMATES!!!) Panicking to hide my blush I said the first thing in my head. “I know where you got that from” Zach rolled his eyes before checking his watch. I hope he doesn’t have to go soon, I enjoy his company.

 “I have to go, I have to go to school tomorrow.” He said standing up to grab his jacket. I couldn’t help but feel sad at the thought of him leaving as I nodded my head quickly.  “I promise I’ll be back tomorrow.” He promised. I couldn’t help but smile at his proposal. Zach visited me more often than my parents. I never asked him to do visit me constantly, however I can’t be complaining. He was the only light to this depressing place. He leaned over to the top of my head, kissing it gently. Thankfully he wasn’t able to see my deep blush. Out of nowhere he took out an envelope from his jacket and handed it to me. He didn’t say anything else but a farewell, he didn’t wait for my reply or even staying long enough for an explanation.

I would’ve smiled at him and possible hug him for the flowers and basically his company. It was only a little over a day and I desperately wanted to get out of here. I always hated hospitals. I don’t think anyone actually likes hospitals.  

Anyway, I watched him walk out the door with sad eyes. Tears prickled my eyes and I mentally scolded myself for it immediately. This was no reason to cry, it wasn’t like he wasn’t going to come back. I think this place is getting to me.

It hasn’t even been 24 hours and I already wish to get out of here. The doctor came and told me the extend to my injuries. I was all patched up with new stiches but had to stay for at least a few weeks in order for a full recovery. Just the thought of me staying in the stuffy hospital room for at least a few weeks caused me to groan.

Well to look on the bright side for once, at least the nurses weren’t mean. At first the nurse that came in earlier today looked a little tough but after some talking I realized she was harmless and a real sweetheart but she’s been though a lot. Everyone has their secrets and I found out one shocking secret from her. Now that thought brings back our memorable conversation from this morning.

*flashback*

That morning

I was awake long before Zach was. He is such a heavy sleeper. I tried waking him up several times already, everything futile. I even tickled him! He would just brush me off and turn to the other side. I barely noticed the nurse come in until she started yelling. I zoned out on what she was saying allowing me to focus on my sole task to wake up the sleeping elephant next to me. I got a few bits and pieces of what she was saying.

Finally I managed to wake him up by whispering his name and shaking him slightly. No harm no foul. “Zach.” His green eyes opened slowly, blinking a few times. I had to stifle my laughter, he looked like a baby that just woke up. Needless to say it was freaking adorable. He looked around the room most likely adjusting to the light and realizing we weren’t alone.

I was so focused on what Zachy-poo was doing I barely understood what the nurse was saying. Sorry I meant yelling.

“What…doing…here?”

“Who….let?!?”

 “VISITING……OVER”

 “THIS…HOSPITAL ….NOT…CLUB!”

 “YOU BETTER NOT COME BACK HERE TO GIVE BIRTH!”

I heard the last one loud and clear. I had to admit she did have a way with words. If I was in her shoes I would probably think the same thing. Two teens in the same bed all alone in an empty (hospital) room, the covers covering their bodies. 

Her theory went up in smoke as Zach got up from the bed. Instantaneously I felt a huge difference. Not only was the bed colder but a huge weight was lifted off of it. The nurse blushed awkwardly before walking up to Zach who was currently suffering from a severe bedhead.

 “Who let you in here visiting hours have ended!?” She asked as I saw some saliva exit her mouth and land on Zach’s face. Keeping my laughter in was becoming harder and harder.

 “No one was in the waiting room last night to tell me visiting hours were over so I went to her room, we fell asleep next to each other, and no one came to tell me.” Zach told her in a nonchalant tone. The nurse frowned pointing at the door. I saw Zach scrunch his eyebrows which was a funny site.  

“Well now you know. Out” He sighed walking towards the door. He paused just as he stood in the middle of the doorway turning to say “Bye Gallagher girl.” I was stunned only managing to make out a small smile. Where did that come from?

To say I was experiencing mixed emotions was an understatement. Overall I was extremely shocked as to why he would say something like that. Why bring up that nickname after all this time? What was his purpose?

However on the other hand I was feeling angry. How dare he call me that after what he’s done to me?!? Do you think you’re the only one who suffered? My conscious added striking an internal debate. He wasn’t the one left with a broken heart to pick up the pieces my anger shot back.

You are so ignorant if you think you’re the only one who suffered, the only one left to mend their heart. Was it or was it not you who forgave him yesterday? I sighed, it was true I did say I forgive him.

Last night I heard him apologize to me right before we went to sleep. His voice was so sincere and he’s been nothing but kind to me. Zach had changed from the arrogant smirker I knew only a year ago. I like Zach, I like Zach a lot. If I was being honest with myself I forgave Zach a long time ago. I guess the revenge was just retaliation to help me feel better about myself.

The only problem is that I still like Josh. He was there for me when no one else was. He was able to get me to forget about what happened to me and made me happy once again.

“Are you listening to me?” I heard someone say after clearing their throat. I turned my head to meet the gaze for the nurse who surprisingly was still here. “I’m sorry” I apologized. “What were you saying?”

I thought she was about to roll her eyes at me and make a rude comment. Instead she gave me a smile and repeated herself. Maybe she wasn’t as mean as I thought. Which made me remember some advice my father always told me when I was younger about women, Don’t Judge a Girl by Her Cover (A/N: Did you see what I did there?)

“I asked if the guy in here before was your boyfriend.” The question itself caught me off guard. I found myself wanting to say yes. I wanted to be Zach’s girlfriend once more. ‘But what about Josh?’ I asked myself in my head. Were we still going out? His “speech” last night wasn’t really clear on that. It was a minute before I realized I hadn’t responded.

“Ex-boyfriend” I told her sadly hoping she wouldn’t catch my tone. She nodded going back to her work of checking my vitals. We fell into a comfortable silence or at least I thought it was.

“He’s cute” she said as she checked my pulse. I nodded, there was no denying that. Zach had always been Goode looking that was a fact. I had some time to get a good look at the nurse. She had long, curly red hair that could easily be identified even when her hair was in a ponytail. She was on the shorter side with an average build and a pale completion. Her eyes were green, just like Zach’s. The nurse looked as if she was in her late 30’s or early 40’s, old enough to be my mother.   

“It’s a shame, you guys looked like a really cute couple” I looked up at her in shock. Are my ears deceiving me? She must’ve seen my facial expression as she decided to elaborate further. “Don’t get me wrong I take my job seriously but I know a good couple when I see one.” I couldn’t help but blush at her statement.

“If you don’t mind me asking, why did you guys break up?” I gulped thinking it over. Maybe an outside opinion is what I need. I shifted on the bed thinking remembering how comfortable I’d been last night. I wonder if Zach was as comfortable as I was.

Anyway I opened my mouth to explain my complicated love story. “Well….” I realized I didn’t know her name. “Catherine” She informed me.

“Well Catherine, I used to have this huge crush on him when we were little, around 6th grade. “ I decided to leave out his name for obvious reasons. “Last year he started paying attention to me out of nowhere. Before then I thought be didn’t even know I existed. We quickly befriended each other with our common likes and dislikes. It wasn’t actually until a month into our friendship that he asked me out on a date. I still had a crush on him, if anything it grew even more. I was so shocked and excited nothing in the world could being me down. We went on a couple of dates and I was so sure he at least liked me back. He gave me no indication otherwise. When I went to school people gave me strange looks, some were smirking while others had looks of pity. “I explained with a sad smile remembering it like it was yesterday. The images of their faces that I now understood was still crystal clear in my mind. That wasn’t something you can forget very easily.

Nevertheless I continued telling the story to Catherine. “I was confused at what it might mean therefore leading me to confront my friend. She barely told me anything, just to stay away from him. She left me even more confused than I was before. Not taking her advice I continued to go out with him. There was nothing odd about the way he acted, so I thought she was just being overprotective and looking out for me. One day we went to a party hosted by one of his friends and in front of everyone he confessed that out whole relationship was a dare.” A lone tear escaped my eye, rolling down my cheek.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to” She sail patting my led affectionately. I shook my head pausing only for a minute to catch my breath. “My friends knew this and tried to warn me several times. I just thought they were trying to be overly protective. I walked up to him and punched him in the face. “I laughed remembering that moment. His facial expression was hilarious. I also remember we had to pry Bex off of him before she destroyed his whole face. At that moment I saw no downside in that. “I went home a sobbing mess and eventually cried myself to sleep. I went to school the next day only to be bullied and ridiculed. I decided to move with my aunt and then came back only to realize I still like him and my current boyfriend.”

She was silent for a while just sitting in the chair beside my bed. “I see you’re in quite a predicament. Obviously you know you must choose one. Whichever one you miss the most when their gone is the one you truly love.” I nodded about to face the other way to take a much-needed nap.  However Catherine continued to talk. “And if it doesn’t work out I can set you up with my son even though I haven’t seen him in 10 years. I think he’s around your age.”

“Sure’ I said jokingly. “What’s his name?” I wondered aloud truly curious. Maybe I know him.

“Zach Goode.” If I was drinking water I would’ve done a spit-take. Maybe I’m just hearing things and she didn’t just say Zach’s name. Deep down in my gut I knew I was wrong. Either way I asked her to repeat herself.

“My son’s name is Zachary Goode.” This is weird was my immediate thought. How come he didn’t recognize her when she yelled at him earlier?

“I was a single mother ever since his father left us a few weeks after he was born. When he was 8 I couldn’t handle it. Everything was piling up on us, everything was about to be taken away. I got a job here and barely had any time to take care of him let alone myself. He deserved better so I set him to an old family friend that used to work at my former school. I’m afraid that after that I have no idea what happened to him. All I know is that he’s alive, I know it. I tried contacting him and finding out where he is now but all I get is dead ends “I bet he hates me. I never explained anything to him. He was too young he wouldn’t have understood. I feel like such a horrible mother for bailing on my only son.” I felt bad for her that must’ve been horrible. I’m sure Zach doesn’t hate her. I wanted to tell her that desperately but it wasn’t my place to say. When Zach comes tonight I’ll tell him and convince him to talk to his mother for the first time in 10 years. It’s the right thing to do.

I shouldn’t be complaining so much about my problems when people have gone through far worse. It also made me realize how lucky I am. I have a mother and a step-father who love me even thought my real father is dead.

I wonder why Zach never told me about this. Now that I think about it he never told me anything about his family. If it was hard for his mother it must be hard possibly even harder for him. Catherine had tears in her eyes when she explained the story to me. She thought I wasn’t looking when she whipped them off her face in a hurry (in a not-so-subtle way.) Imagine how hard it must be for him to talk about this.

I reached out and pat her leg affectionately, just like she’d done to me only a few moments ago. “I’m sure he doesn’t hate you” I said voicing my thoughts.

*flashback over*

I reached over to open the card he gave me. It’s now or never, not really but whatever. Thankfully he didn’t seal the letter, I may be able to use my arms but it takes a lot of energy. Inside was a folder piece of looseleaf. Taking it out and placing it in front of me still folded I took a few deep breaths. What’s there to be nervous about? I shouldn’t be nervous…..right?

Dear Cammie,

I have no idea how to express my feelings into words, but I’m trying. I feel complete and whole again when I’m by your side. I see no flaws in you, only beauty. I love everything about you from your blue eyes that I get lost in every time I look into them to the nervous habit you have of biting your lips. (A/n: Disclaimer I got the next two lines off of google with some of my own words added to itJ) Your beautiful eyes captured my eyes from the moment we met all those years ago. Your smile erased any and all doubts I ever had. I know you think I only started paying attention to you last year and it was all because of that stupid dare.

The truth is I have always paid attention to you. On the first day of 7th grade you looked so cute in your blue dress. All the guys were staring at you and I wanted nothing more than to punch them for even looking at you. I wanted to go up to you and confess my feelings for you, to finally be able to call you mine. On the spring dance in 5th grade you were the most beautiful out of everyone. Your beauty never ceases to amaze me. I was a coward for not telling you of my feelings before. I want you to know I’ve changed. I’m no longer that arrogant boy. I learned first-hand what it’s like to lose someone you love dearly.

What I’m trying to say Cammie is that I love you. I love everything about you. I love you smile that lights up an entire room. I love your perfect laugh which sounds like music to my ears. I love your wits. I love every little strand of hair on your pretty little head. I love you Cammie and I will never stop loving you.

 

-Zach

A/N: do you guys think? Don’t forget to vote and comment if you liked this chapter!!! A quick announcement to all my Story of Us readers, the next chapter should be up by Thursday I’m close to finishing it.