// Chapter 7 \\

It was almost like I wasn't supposed to be the High Monarch of the Night Court. Who in their right mind would cower away from their duties over events that had taken place over three months ago?

I couldn't sway my thoughts of them.

From one man I'd fallen in love with to the other and then to the mania professed by the one who snuck to me in the twilighted night.

It seemed like things might've actually become bearable. That I could actually move on. That I could become better. That was before I was dragged away to the Eastern Court. It wasn't that I dreaded my time there— no. But something had changed me while we were there. I had not a single clue as to what that would be, though. Or did I? No, I wouldn't like to think that.

Now, the events from over three months ago seemed like they'd taken place a day ago. They protruded from the back of my thoughts— always. It was almost too heart-wrenching. It was like I'd been placed into a nightmare. I only wished for it all to stop, but I was constantly reminded in some form or another. Like the knights set to take their place as Captain of the Guard.

Nanny had desperately tried to persuade me over and over as the days of an eternal night sky progressed well into the distance from the time I returned home from Eastern Court. It was probably pitiful: what I was doing. I'd lock myself into my private chambers and not allow any intrusions. It was like I'd left the Night Court to the elder guardian of me as Nanny had taken on all of my duties when I'd done so. That bit of push she had to have me stand as the ruler of this court had died out again. I didn't question why that was but more-so I was satisfied to be eternally alone with my thoughts. Even though those thoughts were constantly reeled back to the ring in the sky, the red fire, the blue eyes of betrayal, the black blades of cold ruthlessness, the tears of blood sprinkling from a cherished life, and now the ocean waves reflecting how withering those thoughts were. They were withering.

Perhaps I was driving myself man as I laid there, cradling my legs in my arms as my forever-star looked to the purple stars above. When had they changed purple? Certainly a while ago but I could've sworn they were a glimmer of white or perhaps a baby blue? Had they been a faint yellow when I returned— no they were gold— orange? But when I looked out the window as I walked down the hall that day they looked green. Or was that the reflection of the window with the royal blue carpet? I didn't no anymore. This thought spiral had me feeling a bit of unease bile in my throat.

I sat up in the comfortable cushion of white silken bedding and blankets. That was what my bed was— a round disk of silken cozy cloth that was capsuled by the large circular gold tin. It was like a bird's nest, in a way. Well, if a bird's nest could float in the sky. Below was nothing of darkness, save if one could see in the night with my impeccable vision and find the running water far far below the mountain's palace that barely caught a single glint of the stars above. The tower that surrounded my quarters bore no windows. I had plenty of open views from above and below. The only surface one could stand on here was, well the bed, but also the small black glossy platform that also held the door leading into the palace halls.

The only way to get to it was by flying. This was why I'd allowed my silver wings to sprawl from my back— from the silver stone of scabbed scars— and let a few faint swoops of their might cary my weight to that platform. I hesitated, lifting my hand to the dark metallic feather carvings of the door. Part of my mind pressed for me to open it, to step out from my confined state. The other begged me not to, afraid of the results it would bring. I should've listened.

I closed in those silvery wings which disappeared into the silver scars— like they'd never been there before— and hesitantly moved the metal of the door from the magic flowing through my hand. The metal door creeped open along with the slightly warmer air of the Night Court palace halls. I half expected to be greeted with the movement of armor and two guard faces leaning in to greet me, but no guards were standing at my door.

I furrowed my brows, looking down one end of the hall before the other. Not a single soul in sight or to be heard of. I found this relieving, stepping out in bare body into the hall and magically creaked the door closed behind me. I felt almost relieved— free. If there wasn't a soul in this part of the palace then who was to stop me from roaming to my own accord? No one was here to tell me what my position was!

I found myself smiling at this as my movement of walking down the hall almost became like a subtle dance of joy. Oh, what it was to be free without an ounce of cloth to drag you down and a silence that could've been music to me ears. Nanny wouldn't have a good thing to say for these thoughts. Night, she would find what I was doing to be so improper and informal of a High Monarch. She was right, but should I even care?

My joyous movements stopped and my swaying slowed. The smile that was upon my face wavered and dropped. I drooped there for a moment, staring at the faint golden and purple patterned flooring. I gave a silent sigh as conformability struck me once more. I waved my hand and cloth covered me.

I allowed myself to be adorned in a black one-piece covered in gold and purple lacing like the floor, the long intricate yet loose sleeves doing the same. The shorts were tight and barely covered any of my legs. The heeled boots made of the same material made up for that, reaching over my knee and attaching to those shorts like a harness with laced thread. It was purple on one leg and gold on the other. The cloth reached all the way up to my neck at first. I curled my nose as the faint touch of cloth there felt like a choking constriction. I waved my hand once more and the cloth of that area evaporated until it was a lovely v-cut.

I gave myself a moment to adjust the lace of my sleeves in almost a forced manner. I then let my arm drop to my side, now standing awkwardly in the silent and empty hall. I picked up my legs once more to walk through it abnormally and uncomfortably.

I kept this up for a little bit before I heard a slight rustle in the silence I was in. My eyes immediately looked ahead of me as a chill ran up my spine. There was nothing in the hallway I was walking to, save a small entrance to its side and I knew well of where it led to.

I silently and slowly approached that entrance and the warm white light that came from it. I hesitated at that entrance, finding myself not wanting to look in. I inhaled a sharp breath before letting it out slowly. I quickly peered into the room before I could give my mind the chance to back out of the action.

It was a study. It was small with curtained windows that had a bright light finding its way through the curtains. It could almost be interpreted as a sun, but it was well known that it was just the bright lighting of magic. It flooded the room into a vibrant illuminance of its color. The royal blue rug and felt placements on the dark wooden furniture. Both sides of the room— the one along the entrance where I stood and the other side of the room when peered into— were lined with dark wood casings of book shelves. The books themselves were browns, beiges, and a few greens in color. A desk of wood sat on the far side of the room with a few books newly placed atop it, next to a tasty that hung over the bookcase in an unusual manner, but the royal blue and white pattern of it matched well with the room.

There, sitting in a chair with a back turned to the bookshelf siding along the adjacent wall to the entrance of the room, was Nanny. I could only assume she read one of the many tales from that shelf by the book that laid comfortably in her lap. She wore royal blue robes with faint white and mahogany brown lacing. Her old grey hair was put into a neat bun atop her head as her eyes followed the words of the text she read. The scene was a nurturing sense of calmness.

"Nanny," I spoke as a way to make my presence known.

The woman smiled as if she knew my presence already. The book she had opened in her hand had closed and was put at her side in the arm chair. She looked up with a bright gleam in her eyes as she inclined her head and softly said, "Star."

Not knowing what to say, I simply nodded back before allowing myself to walk into the small study. Silence lasted for a moment.

"It's good to see you out," The smile dropped from Nanny's face along with her eyes. She paused before she got up from the chair she was sitting in and made her approach towards me, "It's a good sign since all of this is of a... well, matter."

Her implication came as something troublesome and I knew of what she spoke of. I just didn't have the motivation to talk of it, as I did everything else.

"What is the matter?" I spoke as in to act unknowingly.

She sighed before looking up to me with a shake of her head, "Little owl, you've been alone for far too long."

I bit the inner part of my lip as I looked down. I let my lips part for a moment before I replied, "I know."

Something rough and frail touched my hand, yet it was also warm, strong, and comforting. I could feel the bite of guilt in me taking out its deadly fangs from my mind and I looked into those old clear eyes below me with a sense of ease.

"You can get well," Nanny spoke with a simple nod, "I want you to get well and your Court needs you well. But you need to be the one to do it."

I looked into her eyes for a couple moments longer before I gently let go of her hand and turned around, slightly walking away from Nanny. I said nothing.

"Things aren't going to be easy for you," Nanny spoke in a knowing tone. She mused, "They never have and they never will be." Her words became an implanted movement of inspirement, "But your purpose outshines all the others and I know, by fate's hand, you'll get out of this. It just takes you believing in your ability."

Perhaps I didn't show how much those words refilled me with purpose, but they had. I only wondered if the way I'd taken those words was the right way.

I turned back to Nanny and we stood staring at each other in silence. I then slightly bowed my head and tried to curve my lips into a smile.

"Thank you," I spoke in a slightly raspy voice. I raised my head, my eyes twinkling with something.

Nanny gave a comforting, relieved smile that way. She seemed satisfied with my response as she approached me, still looking into her eyes, "Now, I'd like to propose something."

I hesitated before I blindly gave her a nod to continue.

Nanny tilted her head as she looked up to me, "Have you forgotten in two days' time that it will be your birthday?"

I furrowed my brows, taking in Nanny's words. She was right. My birthday was in two days. I'd completely forgotten with all that I'd clouded my mind with. I slowly brought my eyes to the floor with an implied side tilt of my head. I hesitated with my words, "I... suppose I did."

A frail finger had found its way to reaching and touching my chin. My eternal gaze was brought back up to Nanny's.

"Well, how about we throw a party?"

No.

I immediately shook my head, backing my chin out of her subtle comforting grip yet my eyes remained locked with hers. Nanny immediately pursed her lips as she gave me a knowing look, eyes ever staring keenly into mine.

"Star," Nanny spoke in an exhausted manner, "I'm not talking of some ball where everyone and their courts come and gather. I'm proposing a small meeting of you and your friends."

I calmed myself. I didn't hesitate, more-so I paused to take in her words. It had been awhile since I'd seen them once more. Perhaps a gathering would be nice. A small party where I didn't have to live up to the expectations of High Monarch. This idea brought me joy? My smile would make it seem so.

I bowed my head with that surprised gesture of that grin, "I'd like that."

I feel tired and hungry rn, but dw! After this chapter is published, Ima get some food and relax :3

And dw abt ATEEZ, they'll be returning to the stage soon! I just have to paint these foundations for the picture first.

REMEMBER:​​​​​​

1. Smack dat butiful star

2. Leave a comment talkin abt dis tea

3. Share dis tea induced book with yo fwends

WHY? Because I appreciate it 🥺

\\ See u in the next chapter! \\