Chapter 23

I walk slowly down the abandoned road, the tears finally drying in my eyes. As a young girl I should be scared that something could happen being all alone on this dark path. The truth is I’m more terrified by what is back there than whatever could possibly happen to me walking alone.

I maybe got a mile before I see headlights. I silently pray that they are Luke’s. The car stops next to me and my mind fills with panic. There’s a possibility that it could be more of those men.

Relief flushes through me when I finally see who’s behind the wheel. Luke throws the car in park and runs around the car and pulls me to him. His blue eyes are filled with concern.

"Are you okay?" he questions, pulling back to study my face. "Of course you’re not okay. You don’t have to tell me what happened" he says nervously, afraid to ask what could have possibly happened on our date turned disaster.

"I hit him,” are the only details I give him.

"Ashton?" Luke questions as he helps me slip into the passenger’s seat of his car.

"Yeah" I answer quietly. I’m still in shock and still pretty shook up.

Those men were intimidating to say the least. The worst part - Ashton was the most intimidating. Threatening to put his hands on me if I didn’t do as he said. Unbelievable.

Luke swallows the lump in his throat. If anyone understands the temper on Ashton, it’s him. “Did he hurt you?”

I turn to Luke with my mouth hung open slightly. “No” I shake my head. I don’t believe Ashton would physically hurt me. “Some guys showed up and it’s like he flipped a switch. Right back to the old Ashton.”

He nods in agreement. “Wait, what guys?” he asks confused.

"Big, scary ones. Tattoos. Scars."

"Jared" he states. The worried look on his face has chills running down my spine.

I’m almost afraid to ask. “Who’s Jared?”

Luke lets out a long sigh. He shakes his head and turns towards me. “You don’t want to know.”

"I do" I argue. I might not want all the details but I need to know who he is. What does he want? Why did he show up? How did he know we were there? Am I in danger? I have so many questions and the only way I will be getting answers is from Luke.

"Maybe Ashton should tell you."

"As if that would ever happen" I roll my eyes.

"Give him a chance Shane."

"I think I’ve given him plenty of chances” I huff.

The bottom of my purse starts vibrating between my feet. I reach for it just to check who it is. Of course it’s Ashton. So I hit ignore.

Luke sucks his bottom lip between his teeth. He wants to say something but he’s holding back.

“You think I should answer it, don’t you?” By his lack of answer, he means yes. “Fine” I huff.

When my phone goes off again, I press it to my ear and don’t say anything.

“Where the fuck are you?” Ashton roars on the other end. I should hang up.

“Don’t worry about me. I’m fine.”

“Tell me where you are” he says through his teeth. “Now!” he shouts when I don’t answer.

“Back at campus” I say before hanging up and shutting my phone off. I throw it back in my purse and lean my head against the window until Luke parks the car.

We sit here for a moment. The silence is peaceful. I’m so thankful for Luke. I don’t know what I would have done. It’s not like Adrienne would have drove down to the lake at this time of night. I’d be lucky if she was even sober.

“So what are you going to do?” Luke lets out a heavy breath and turns to me.

I rub my fingers deep into my temples. I’ve never been so stressed and angry at the same time. It’s giving me the worst migraine.

“I don’t know” I sigh. I really don’t. I love Ashton but I can’t have him shut me out again like I know he will do. I need someone who will be there for me. Comfort me. Make me laugh. Someone like, well, Luke.

Like the gentleman and caring friend he is, Luke helps me out of the car. His hand rests on the small of my back, never losing contact, until we get to our floor to go our separate ways. I don’t want to be alone.

“Um, Luke” I say in a low, quiet voice.

He’s halfway down the hall. I don’t even think he heard me but he turns around, probably to make sure that I am okay. “Yeah?”

I hesitate. I take a few steps towards him. “Can I come back to your room? You know, explaining all this…” I point to the absolute mess I am right now. My hair, my make-up down my face, wet clothes. “To Amy isn’t something I want to do right now.”

He gives me a sympathetic smile. “Of course.”

Back in his room, Luke offers me a towel and body wash. “Michael has a ton of conditioner you can choose from” he laughs. “And, uh, you can take whatever you want from Ashton’s closet. I know how he feels about you wearing another man’s clothes” he shakes his head with a smile.

Ashton was so mad that night. Amy had locked me out and I didn’t know where else to go. Luke let me borrow a pair of sweatpants and t-shirt to sleep in. It was a kind gesture but of course Ashton didn’t think so. He practically ripped Luke’s clothes off of me. No complaints there.

But now things have changed. “I don’t give a shit what he thinks.”

Luke’s head rolls back on his neck. “Now we both know that’s not true.”

Maybe it is. Maybe it isn’t. Right now I want nothing to do with Ashton. He didn’t apologize when he called for the way he treated me. Instead he continued with his rude behavior.

The shower isn’t as relaxing as I thought I would be. The warm water eases my body but does nothing to slow down the thoughts racing through my mind. What am I going to do? Do I forgive him right away? We were in such a good place before this all happened. Do I walk away? He’s dangerous. Maybe not him himself but the people he’s associated with. Any sane person would walk away.

I slip into a pair of Luke’s sweatpants and one of Michael’s shirts that Luke left for me on the couch.

I slowly open Luke’s door. He’s sitting on his bed slowly strumming away at his guitar. The tune is beautiful and for the first time tonight I feel my entire body relax. I’m completely captivated by him.

“Hey” he looks up when he catches me staring. “Feel better?”

“Much” I nod my head.

“If you want I can walk you back to your room. I can deflect Amy off you” he laughs.

“Um… actually” I close one eye, embarrassed to ask. I know the answer that is coming. “I was thinking maybe I could stay here tonight.”

“I don’t think Ashton will be back tonight” he replies as if I were actually going to sit around and wait for Ashton. I’m not that pathetic. I just don’t want to be alone. I won’t admit it out loud but I am scared to death right now.

“I know.” I step between his legs and move his guitar to the floor.

“Shane” he sighs.

I place my finger gently over his lips. “Shhh.”

Luke lightly wraps his hand around my wrist and pulls it away. His eyes are dark like I’ve never seen before. My heart rate quickens and I’m anticipating what could possibly happen.

“When this happens for us” he finally speaks, his eyes burning into mine. “And it will. I don’t want it to be because you’re trying to back at him. I need you to want it too.”

“I do” I tell him. I’m attracted to Luke, that’s not secret but he has a point. My feelings may never go away for Ashton but Luke deserves it all. Not just the bits and pieces I can give him right now.

“You don’t. One day but not now.”

“God” I groan and slap myself in the face. “What am I doing?”

“It’s okay” he smiles and rubs up and down my arms.

“No it’s not” I whine. “I’m sorry Luke.” I don’t want to play mind games with him. He’s too good to do that too. I need a distraction from Ashton but trying to get into Luke’s pants isn’t one of them. Maybe a movie will do.

“I can wait” he grins and my heart skips a beat. He’s willing to wait for a day that may never come.

I place my lips softly on his cheek. “Thank you” I whisper. “Now how about some Batman?”

The common room door slams seconds later causing the walls to shake. Even though I can’t see him behind the closed door, I can picture the angry and worried look on Ashton’s face.

Seconds later the loud sounds of the common room behind trashed come through the thin walls of the dorm. He’s completely lost it and I don’t really blame him.

I start biting my nails. It’s a nervous habit. I’m nervous for Ashton. What happened to him? I should have just gotten in the car and waited for him. Instead I was stubborn. I don’t like being talked to in that tone or being threatened to be tossed around like some rag doll.

“Go” Luke nudges me to the door, picking up on my uneasiness.

“What?” I laugh nervously.

“He needs you.”

I slowly walk to the door and open it. Ashton head snaps in my direction immediately. His eyes are filled with so much rage that I’m scared he won’t even notice it’s me. All he’ll see is red.

The common room is trashed as expected. The couch is turned upside down. The TV is almost knocked off the stand.

“Of course you’re with him” Ashton barks. “Luke Hemmings, the fucking hero.”

Luke gives me a look and shuts the door. It’s best if Ashton can’t see him. Maybe then he won’t want to rip off his head for picking me up off the side of the road.

“Ashton” I breathe out and attempt to approach him.

“Just get the hell out” he spits. “I don’t want to see you.”

“No” I shout back. “We are not going back there. You are not shutting me out again!” I argue, my voice just as loud as his.

“You want to talk? Let’s fucking talk.” He grips my upper arm tightly and yanks me into his room.

“Get your hands off me” I give him a warning look. “Don’t fucking touch me” I scream and he lets go of my arms. Red fingerprint marks remain on my skin.

Ashton takes a step back and I calm down. “What happened back there?” I question.

He shakes his head and scratches the stubble on his chin. “I’m not going to tell you.”

“Why not?” I sigh. “Everything was going so perfect. We were so perfect.”

“Perfect?” he laughs in my face. “What is it with you?” he groans. “You want this perfect life with the perfect fucking boyfriend. Well guess what Shane? That’s exactly what you’re not going to get from me.”

“That’s not what I meant and you know that” I argue.

“Like hell it isn’t” his nostrils flare, his cheek bright red. “Now get the fuck out of here” he shouts.

I don’t move. I won’t. This is a relationship. We need to talk things through.

Ashton’s eyes nearly pop out of his head when I refuse to do what he says… again. He takes the bobble head drummer I bought him and chucks it at the wall right next to my head. It hit the wall so hard it broke into several different pieces on the floor.

I shoot him an angry glare. He wasn’t aiming for me. He was trying to scare me into leaving him alone so he won’t have to come forward with the truth.

To his surprise and mine, I take his X-box remote and throw it as hard as I can in his direction, leaving a nice hole in the wall. I wasn’t trying to hit him but part of me wishes I had so he could feel just a tiny bit of pain I am feeling. “Fuck you!” I cry. “Fuck you!”

That was so unlike me. I’ve never thrown anything in anger before. I usually cry or scream but never like this. What has he done to me?

Ashton takes three loud steps towards me and pushes me against the wall. My head slammed so hard against the surface I thought I was going to pass out.

Ashton slips his fingers into my hair and pulls me towards him. He kisses me. Angry. Needy. He leaves no space between us as he holds me tightly against him. His teeth bite at bottom lip but I refuse to kiss him back.

“Come on baby” he whispers against my lips.

I push him away. “Don’t” I warn.

Ashton takes a deep breath, realizing what is going on. Finally comprehending that all this can’t be fixed with a kiss. Or sex. “I’m so sorry Shane” his face falls.

“I know you are” I say. “But it’s not going to be that easy. Tell me what happened.”

“I can’t” he shakes his head.

“Why not?” I ask again, placing my hands on my hips. I try not raising my voice but I can’t help it.

“Stop asking fucking questions” he runs his fingers through his sweaty hair.

“I deserve answers” I fire back.

“You deserve shit.” He slams his fist on the desk.

“For once can you just swallow your god damn pride and talk to me” I yell, begging him to just tell the truth for once. “If you can’t do that then I’m done Ashton.”

His eyes grow wide at first. “Fine” he shrugs it off. “You should be with Luke.” His voice is flat. Cold.

“Excuse me?” I roar. What did he just say?

“You should be with Luke” he says in a softer tone. The words hurt more than anything. He might as well just take a knife and stab me in the heart. “Get out. I’m done with you” he turns his back to me.

“Is this really what you want?” I test him. “You don’t want me anymore?”

“I don’t” he answers simply.

“Fine.” I keep it together. Not letting him see that he’s breaking me into pieces like the bobble head shattered on the floor.

I storm out of his room, slamming the door shut as hard as I can. I make it to Luke’s room just in time to drop to my knees and let the tears fall.

Luke sits down next to me, wrapping me in his arms. He turns on his stereo to drown out my sobs. Ashton doesn’t deserve that satisfaction. “Shhh” he holds me. “I got you.”