Chapter 7: Y's Croquet Game♥️♣️

A large rose-tree stood near the entrance of the garden: the roses growing on it were white, but there were three gardeners at it, busily painting them red. F thought this a very curious thing, and he went nearer to watch them, and just as he came up to them he heard One and Two and One says, “Look out now, Two! Don’t go splashing paint over me like that!”

"Sorry, I couldn’t help it,” said Two, in a sulky tone; “But you jogged my elbow.”

On which One looked up and said, “That’s right, you yellow number! You always lay the blame on others!”

“You’d better not talk!” said Two. “I heard Y say only yesterday you deserved to be beheaded!”

“What for?” said One.

“That’s none of your business, One!” Two replied.

“No, it's your business!” said One, “and I’ll tell you—it was for bringing the cook tulip-roots instead of onions.”

Two flung down his brush, and had just begun “Well, of all the unjust things—” when his eye chanced to fall upon F, as he stood watching them, and he checked himself suddenly: One looked round also, and they bowed low.

“Would you tell me,” said F, a little timidly, “why you are painting those roses?”

One and Two said nothing, but One began to speak. He began in a low voice, “Why the fact is, you see, sir, this here ought to have been a red rose-tree, and we put a white one in by mistake; and if Y was to find it out, we should all have our heads cut off, you know. So you see, sir, we’re doing our best, afore she comes, to—” At this moment Two who had been anxiously looking across the garden, called out “The Queen! Y is coming!” and the two nunbers instantly threw themselves flat upon their faces. There was a sound of many footsteps, and F looked round, eager to see Y.

A trumpet blew up as Y enters the palace gates as her card soldiers were carrying her throne. F was rather doubtful whether he ought not to lie down on his face like One and Two, but he could not remember ever having heard of such a rule at processions; “and besides, what would be the use of a procession,” thought he, “if people had all to lie down upon their faces, so that they couldn’t see it?” So he stood still where he was, and waited.

When the procession came opposite to F, they all stopped and looked at him, and Y said severely “Who is this?” she said.

“Ugh!” said Y, tossing her head impatiently; and, turning to F, she went on, “What’s your name?”

“My name is F, you akready know me, so please your Majesty,” said F very politely; but he added, to himself, “Why, they’re are Oje and Two who are numbers after all. I needn’t be afraid of them!"

"And who are these?” said Y, pointing to One and Two who were lying round the rose-tree; for, you see, as they were lying on their faces, she could not tell whether they were gardeners, or soldiers, or courtiers, or two of her own sons.

“How should I know?” said F, surprised at his own courage. “It’s no business of mine.”

Y turned crimson with fury, and, after glaring at her for a moment like a wild beast, screamed “Off with his head! Off—”

"Nonesense!" said F, very loudly and decidedly, and Y was silent.

But then Y turned angrily and said to the Knave “Turn them over!”

The Knave did so, very carefully, with one foot.

"Get up!" said Y, in a shrill, loud voice, and One and Two instantly jumped up, and began bowing to her and the card soldiers.

“Leave off that!” screamed Y. “You make me giddy.” And then, turning to the rose-tree, she went on, “What have you been doing here?”

“May it please your Majesty,” said One, in a very humble tone, going down on one knee as he spoke, “we were trying—”

"I see!" said Y, who had meanwhile been examining the roses. “Off with their heads!” and the procession moved on, One and Two remaining behind to execute the unfortunate gardeners, who ran to F for protection.

“You shan’t be beheaded!” said F, and he put them into a large flower-pot that stood near. One and Two wandered about for a minute or two, looking for them, and then quietly marched off after the others.

"Are their heads off?" shouted Y.

“Their heads are gone, if it please your Majesty!” the soldiers shouted in reply.

“That’s right!” shouted Y. “Can you play croquet?”

The soldiers were silent, and looked at F, as the question was evidently meant for him.

“Yes!” shouted F.

"Come on, then!” roared Y, and F joined the procession, wondering very much what would happen next.

“It’s—it’s a very fine day!” said a timid voice at his side. He was walking by his best friend, N, who was peeping anxiously into his face.

“Very,” said F: “—where are the other letters?”

"Hush! Hush!” said N in a low, hurried tone. He looked anxiously over his shoulder as he spoke, and then raised himself upon tiptoe, put his mouth close to her ear, and whispered “They're under sentence of execution.”

“What for?” said F.

“Did you say ‘What a pity!’?” N asked.

“No, I didn’t,” said F: “I don’t think it’s at all a pity. I said ‘What for?’”

"They boxed the Queen’s ears—” N began. F gave a little scream of laughter. “Oh, hush!” N whispered in a frightened tone. “Y will hear you! You see, she came rather late, and the Queen said—”

“Get to your places!” shouted Y in a voice of thunder, and people began running about in all directions, tumbling up against each other; however, they got settled down in a minute or two, and the game began. F thought he had never seen such a curious croquet-ground in his life; it was all ridges and furrows; the balls were live hedgehogs, the mallets live flamingoes, and the soldiers had to double themselves up and to stand on their hands and feet, to make the arches.

The chief difficulty F found at first was in managing his flamingo: he succeeded in getting its body tucked away, comfortably enough, under his arm, with its legs hanging down, but generally, just as he had got its neck nicely straightened out, and was going to give the hedgehog a blow with its head, it would twist itself round and look up in his face, with such a puzzled expression that he could not help bursting out laughing: and when he had got its head down, and was going to begin again, it was very provoking to find that the hedgehog had unrolled itself, and was in the act of crawling away: besides all this, there was generally a ridge or furrow in the way wherever he wanted to send the hedgehog to, and, as the doubled-up soldiers were always getting up and walking off to other parts of the ground, F soon came to the conclusion that it was a very difficult game indeed.

The players all played at once without waiting for turns, quarrelling all the while, and fighting for the hedgehogs; and in a very short time Y was in a furious passion, and went stamping about, and shouting “Off with his head!” or “Off with his head too!” about once in a minute.

F began to feel very uneasy: to be sure, he had not as yet had any dispute with Y, but he knew that it might happen any minute, “and then,” thought he, “what would become of me? They’re dreadfully fond of beheading people here; the great wonder is, that there’s any one left alive!”

He was looking about for some way of escape, and wondering whether he could get away without being seen, when he noticed a curious appearance in the air: it puzzled him very much at first, but, after watching it a minute or two, he made it out to be a smoke, and he said to himself “It’s H: now I shall have somebody to talk to.”

“How are you getting on?” said H, as soon as there was mouth enough for hrr to speak with.

F waited till the eyes appeared, and then nodded. “It’s no use speaking to her,” he thought, “till her ears have come, or at least one of them.” In another minute the smoke settled and H appeared, and then F put down his flamingo, and began an account of the game, feeling very glad he had someone to listen to him. H seemed to think that there was enough of her now in sight, and no more of she appeared.

"I don’t think they play at all fairly,” F began, in rather a complaining tone, “and they all quarrel so dreadfully one can’t hear oneself speak—and they don’t seem to have any rules in particular; at least, if there are, nobody attends to them—and you’ve no idea how confusing it is all the things being alive; for instance, there’s the arch I’ve got to go through next walking about at the other end of the ground—and I should have croqueted Y’s hedgehog just now, only it ran away when it saw mine coming!”

"How do you like Y?” said H in a low voice.

“Not at all,” said F: “she’s so extremely—” Just then she noticed that Y was close behind him, listening: so he went on, “—likely to win, that it’s hardly worth while finishing the game.”

Y smiled and passed on.

“Who are you talking to?” said Y going up to Alice, and looking at H's head with great curiosity.

“She's a friendly ghost of mine—H” said F: “allow me to introduce her."

“I don’t like the look of it at all,” said Y: “however, it may kiss my hand if it likes.”

“I’d rather not,” H remarked.

"Don’t be impertinent,” said Y, “and don’t look at me like that!” She went off and sit in her throne.

“A ghost look at a queen” said F. “I’ve read that in some book, but I don’t remember where.”

Y stood up and said very decidedly, “Grrrrr! I wish I would have that ghost removed!”

She had only one way of settling all difficulties, great or small. “Off with his head!” she said, without even looking round.

“I’ll fetch the executioner myself,” said one card soldier eagerly, and he hurried off.

F thought he might as well go back, and see how the game was going on, as he heard Y’s voice in the distance, screaming with passion. He had already heard her sentence three of the players to be executed for having missed their turns, and he did not like the look of things at all, as the game was in such confusion that she never knew whether it was her turn or not. So he went in search of his hedgehog.

The hedgehog was engaged in a fight with another hedgehog, which seemed to F an excellent opportunity for croqueting one of them with the other: the only difficulty was, that his flamingo was gone across to the other side of the garden, where F could see it trying in a helpless sort of way to fly up into a tree.

By the time he had caught the flamingo and brought it back, the fight was over, and both the hedgehogs were out of sight: “but it doesn’t matter much,” thought F, “as all the arches are gone from this side of the ground.” So he tucked it away under his arm, that it might not escape again, and went back for a little more conversation with his friend.

When he got back to H, he was surprised to find quite a large crowd collected round it: there was a dispute going on between the executioner, and Y, who were all talking at once, while all the rest were quite silent, and looked very uncomfortable.

The moment F appeared, he was appealed to by all three to settle the question, and they repeated their arguments to him, though, as they all spoke at once, he found it very hard indeed to make out exactly what they said.

The executioner’s argument was, that you couldn’t cut off a head unless there was a body to cut it off from: that he had never had to do such a thing before, and he wasn’t going to begin at his time of life.

Y’s argument was, that if something wasn’t done about it in less than no time she’d have everybody executed, all round. (It was this last remark that had made the whole party look so grave and anxious.)

F could think of nothing else to say but “It belongs to some of my friends: you’d better ask them about it.”

“They're in prison,” Y said to the executioner: “fetch them here.” And the executioner went off like an arrow.

So sorry that I didn't update this book for like almost 2 months, but I hope you enjoy!

Stay tuned for Chapter 8........

                                                                                                                  °~Kholeen~°