A Hard Goodbye

Kaeden spent most of the morning helping me. I didn't need it but he was insistent. Only now could I see the bruise along his neck. It was a dark purple line around the front of his neck. He didn't seem to mind it but it drew my eyes every time he faced me. If he was in pain, he didn't act like it. The purple line made me sad, brought up the memories of the days before. They dug into my heart, ripping it apart.

"When will you leave?" I asked, unsure if I wanted the answer.

"Today. I'm going to speak to Murtagh and Jamie. But then I'll be off. Ian wants to accompany me part of the way as he will trade with some of the Cherokee." I nodded as he spoke. He finished tightening the laces of my shoes for me. I wore a dress today as it was easier and more comfortable than pants at the moment. I felt like I could hide in my skirts. Kaeden left me in the kitchen as he joined Murtagh and Jamie outside.

"What's going on out there?" Claire asked.

"Kaeden's leaving. He's going to disappear for awhile." I explained, peeling a potato that Claire hadn't gotten to yet.

"You won't go with him?" I shook my head. "My place is here. With my family."

"I think that's admirable. Jamie may be your father but Murtagh is also. He's taken a protective role over you without knowing who you are." Claire smiled, turning towards me. "You know, you're special to Jamie. He didn't get to raise his other kids either. He hasn't even met our other daughter, your sister. I know he'll be happy you're staying. As will I." Her eyes flickered a bit of sorrow. "We'd never thought we'd meet you." She sat at the table finally, sorting her herbs and medicines, disregarding the unfinished potatoes.

"I never thought I'd meet you. Murtagh told me all the stories of you and Jamie though." I smiled slightly, still watching the boys through the window. Ian had joined the group. "He told me you'd left. Or that's what Jamie had told him."

"Well, we are glad you've found us." She smiled. I rose from my seat and patted her hand gently.

"I better go check on them." I finally walked out the front door to the boys. They were all grinning wildly. "What are you all grinning about?" I laughed, playing dumb to the situation.

"Nothing, lass." Jamie smiled from ear to ear. "Aye, nothing." Murtagh came to me, kissing both cheeks and then gave me a hug. "I must be off. The shop needs me." I smiled and gave him a nod. I took my place next to Kaeden as we waved goodbye to Murtagh. Kaeden kissed my temple softly.

"Right, well, I need to gather my things so we can be off." He turned to Ian who agreed. They both disappeared, leaving Jamie and I alone. Jamie looked down at me as I watched Murtagh on his horse.

"He's a good man." Jamie said, picking at the blade of grass in his fingers.

"He is..." I smiled. "Do you think we can have a life together now that he's a fugitive?"

"Aye. Your mother and I got married while I had a price on my head." I let a small gasp escape my lips. "I canna tell ye how many times I was arrested, hunted, beaten between the time I married yer mother and now." He let out a soft chuckle. "He can go by a different name, he can change his appearance, ye can go to a different country. It'll be alright. As long as ye both love each other, ye both will be alright." He looked back out at his land. "He will stay away for a time, to protect ye. He will return though. I havena seen anyone love someone as much as he loves ye."

"You and Claire." I raised on eyebrow at him.

"Aye." He laughed.

"So, you gave him your blessing then?" I looked with him out at his land. It was beginning to turn cold.

"Aye. As did Murtagh."

"Good." I smiled. We stood in silence again, a frequent occurrence between the two of us.

"I'm sorry." He turned to me again.

"For what?" I looked up at him. His eyes were familiar. They were mine.

"For not finding ye sooner."

"You didn't know. Murtagh didn't even know." I shrugged. "I never looked for either of you."

"I should've checked...."

"Claire held a baby with red hair, a baby that was supposed to be me. You couldn't have known. I understand that now."

"I'm sorry." His face saddened again, tears forming in his eyes. I walked towards him, embracing him.

"Stop...." I hugged him tighter. "I don't want your apologies... I want to be your daughter now." His arms wrapped around me as well, pulling me close. "You didn't get to raise me. Or my sister or my brother. But I'm here now... I've never had a father besides the one I've had for the past two years..." He nodded, releasing me. "I want you to be mine now."

"I guess we should begin building ye yer own room." He smiled.

"My own house." I laughed.

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Jamie and I spent our days building a cabin down the ways from Jamie and Claire's cabin. We ended up with a sturdy structure in a matter of days. I was a fast learner and Jamie was a fast worker. We spent most of our days in silence, occasionally sharing a story from our pasts. He was a funny man. But also brave and courageous.

On the last day when Ian came back, he told me about his back, showing me part of it. He told me the story of Jack Randall and the whipping post, how my grandfather died. In exchange, I told him about mine. I wore pants as we worked on the cabin, so I lifted part of my shirt and showed him the 20 lashes on my back.

"We're more alike than ye think." He stated, hammering some wood into place. I nodded in agreement as we continued our work. I hadn't the guts to tell him how or why I got the lashes, nor what came afterwards. But he needn't know. I was glad I'd finally come to be with my parents. While Murtagh had been enough for me the past two years, there was something different about Jamie and Claire. They were my actual blood.

Within the month, the cabin was finished. Ian came to live with me rather than Claire and Jamie. Even though my life was happy, I waited for the other shoe to drop. I waited for the red coats to come for Kaeden. I waited for someone close to me to die. I waited for notice of Kaeden's death. I waited.

Instead, a man and his son came. John Gray and William Gray. It didn't take me or Ian long to see the resemblance. As they all sat around the table eating, Ian and I ate outside together for a moment.

"Why don't ye call Jamie Da?" Ian asked, poking the fire in front of us.

"For the same reason I don't call Murtagh Da." I laughed, watching his eyes widen. "Murtagh is like a father to me. Jamie is my father, my blood. But neither raised me." I explained. "I dinna understand, Cousin." he laughed slightly.

"Ok, let's say you never met your father. As of right now, he's a man that left you on a strangers door, all alone in this world." I looked at him, making sure he was tracking. "Now, in four years time, you come to be bought by an old, cranky man. Like Murtagh. He feeds you, houses you, protects you from the harms of this world. But he's not kin... He's not blood." I continued. "How would you feel about either?" He nodded.

"Aye, I ken what yer saying, Cousin." We sat there conversing more. Finally, Claire and Jamie left the cabin to go to their shelter for a moment. I took the opportunity to take our left over food into the cabin. Ian headed back to our own cabin to tuck in for the night, taking Rollo as well.

Upon entrance, I found the young boy had turned in for the night while Gray stood by the fire with a glass of wine in hand. My entrance startled him for a moment. His eyes gave me a once over.

"You must be Jamie's daughter, Faith." I nodded in response, discarding our plates and cups into the wash basin.

"I am. Pleasure to meet you." I bowed my head as I was elbow deep in cold water, washing things.

"I've never seen a woman in pants before." He laughed slightly.

"And I've never seen a red coat in a Scot's home without having his neck sliced open." I muttered. I guess my comment was amusing to him. All I heard was his laughter as I finished washing.

"Ah, Claire had mentioned how alike you and Jamie were. I see it now." Gray smiled. His smile was kind, as were his eyes.

"How do you know my father?" I leaned against the table, arms crossed against my chest.

"I'll let him tell you the story. But I owed him a life debt." Gray turned back towards the fire. "I've owed him much as he has owed me."

"Jamie saved your life? And you saved his?" I scoffed. Gray nodded again. He turned back to me. We studied each other in silence for a few moments.

"I hear you are unmarried." He raised an eyebrow towards me, sipping his wine.

"I am."

"You are surely past the normal age, correct?"

"Yes, I am. I was a slave on a boat until I was 20, then a blacksmith the past two years."

"A slave and a blacksmith?" He paused, "I would like to hear those stories sometime, madam." Gray was surely charming, if not pompous.

"Don't hold your breath."

"My, you are more like your mother than I would've guessed." He laughed, finishing his wine. Jamie had finally returned with a bottle of his whiskey.

"I'll see you in the morning." I kissed Jamie's cheek as I slipped from the cabin.

"I like her." I heard Gray comment as I disappeared out the door and towards my own home where Ian slept loudly.