Chapter 18

I walked out of that building as quickly as I could. You would have thought it was on fire by my urgency but I needed to get out of there. I managed to get a cab home and as I sat in the back of it I just couldn’t get the feeling of Tamra’s hands on me out of my head. I felt dirty. I felt like every part of me had been violated even though nothing went beyond inappropriate touching. More than anything though, I felt like I had betrayed Jess. I couldn’t even get the courage up to call her right now.

What would I even tell her?

“We’re here, love,” the cab driver’s voice broke me out of my thoughts.

“Oh, sorry. Here,” I handed him money but he simply put it back in my hand.

“The ride’s on me. You look like you’ve had a hard day,” he said with a kind smile.

“Yeah something like that,” I said, smiling back. “Thank you.”

He nodded to me and I got out of the cab, walking quickly up to my apartment. As soon as I got in I locked the door behind me and broke down. I couldn’t even hold myself up as I slid down to the floor. How could I let this happen? I was usually so outspoken but it was like this woman had some sort of power over me. I was scared of her and I was scared of what would happen to Jess if I refused her demands.

I jumped when I suddenly heard my phone go off. I looked at the screen to see a text from Jess and I opened it immediately.

‘Hey did they let you go home yet? I’ve been waiting for your call xxx’

I wanted nothing more than to call Jess. I just wanted to hear her voice right now but I couldn’t do it. I needed time to think.

‘I wasn’t feeling well so I got a cab home. I’m really sorry I didn’t call but I think I’m just gonna go sleep.’

Her reply came almost immediately.

‘Baby, you should have called. I’m telling Holly we can’t go out and I’m coming over. x’

I panicked at that and quickly typed out another reply. I didn’t want Jess to see me like this. I just needed some space to think tonight.

‘No, no. You go out with Holly. I’m fine I just need some sleep. You go have fun I know you haven’t seen her in a while.’

 

‘Are you sure? I don’t like not being able to take care of you :(‘

 

‘I’m absolutely sure. I love you.’

 

‘I love you too. I’ll talk to you later xxx’

 

I got up from my spot on the floor and went straight into my room. I stripped down and found a large hoodie and some joggers so I chucked those on before heading to the bathroom to wash the make-up from my face.

I sighed heavily as I stared at my reflection in the mirror. My eyes were bloodshot and looking slightly puffy where I’d been crying so much. Basically I looked like shit. I needed to figure this mess out before it ruined my life and possibly Jess’s. I felt like it was all in my hands and it was all too much.

I pulled the hood over my head and curled up in my bed, hoping it just get a few hours of sleep. The last thing I remember before falling asleep was glancing at the picture of Jess and me that I kept next to my bed. In the end, I just wanted us to be okay. We had to be okay.

---------------------------------------------------

The sound of my phone buzzing next to me woke me up suddenly. I looked around and saw it was now dark outside and I now had a slight headache. I unlocked my phone, squinting at the sudden bright light and saw that I had a text from Jess. I also noticed it was now three in the morning.

‘I miss you xx’

I smiled at the text instantly. I missed her too right now more than anything.

‘I miss you too. What are you doing up so late anyway?’

 

‘I’m cold and I don’t have anyone to cuddle :(‘

 

I was about to reply when something came over me. I needed her right now. I’d pushed her away today and that wasn’t right. I took my phone and pulled on my shoes before quickly running out of my apartment. I didn’t want to try to find a cab; I didn’t have time for that and so I ran. I ran the entire way to Jess’s house, not caring if I was seen by anyone. I probably looked crazy as hell and maybe I was.

I made the usual thirty minute walk to Jess’s house in less than twenty. As I made it up to her doorstep I grabbed the key that she kept hidden above her doorframe and quietly let myself in. Her house was completely dark so I assume she was still in bed when she was texting me.

I slowly walked up the stairs, careful not to let them creak and made my way up to her room. I found the door open slightly and I quietly slipped in to see Jess lying awake on her side, still staring at her phone. She didn’t see me walk in and so I walked over to the bed.

“Jess,” I whispered, hoping I wouldn’t scare her. I saw her jump at the sound of my voice but she didn’t scream or freak out. She turned over to look at me and I saw a smile spread across her face as she realized I was here.

“I can’t believe you came,” she said, the smile never leaving her face.

“I couldn’t let my girl freeze, could I?” I said as I crawled into bed beside her.

I pulled her body into me and she rested her head between my neck and my shoulder. I felt her hand move underneath my hoodie and trace circles around my bare stomach.

“Why are you so out of breath?” she asked suddenly.

“I ran here,” I said nonchalantly. Jess bolted upward though and looked me directly in the eye, probably thinking I was joking.

“You ran here.” she said flatly.

“Yep.”

I thought she was going to scold me for ‘being out in the middle of the night’ or ‘being out in the cold’ but she didn’t. She simply shook her head and kissed me before laying her head back down on me. Her fingers once again resumed stroking my stomach.

I simply held Jess to me then, watching her as she laid there next to me. I knew I probably wouldn’t fall asleep again tonight. I needed to lay here and think about what happened today anyway and I knew it would probably make me feel better to have Jess lying here with me even though I wasn’t going to say anything about it. I needed to figure this out on my own for now. That’s when I thought occurred to me.

“Hey Jess?” I whispered.

“Yeah?”

“When did you say you go back to work again?” I asked.

“The first week after New Year’s. Why?”

“No reason. I was just curious,” I said simply.

Tamra had said today that if I refused her advances that she would take it out on Jess by using her career. But if Jess wasn’t going back to work yet it wouldn’t affect her now, would it? I could get by with a few weeks of making Tamra angry until I figured something out. I’m sure Jess would be fine. Tamra wasn’t on her team anyway from what I know. Could she even do anything to Jess or was it just an empty threat?

I pondered over these thoughts for some time. Eventually, I did noticed Jess’s breathing even out and I knew she was in a deep sleep by now. I kissed the top of her head and held onto her securely. I’d figure all this out. I was sure of it.

A/N  This was the original ending to chapter 17 so that's why it's so short. I'll have another part up as soon as I can.

So tell me. What should Elena do? ;o

EDIT: I need to know if you all want a Christmas/New Years chapter or if you want me to just skip right to the drama. Let me know pleeeaase.