Chapter 9

I sat on my bed, eyes transfixed on the computer screen in front of me. I couldn’t stop reading the first sentence on that results page over and over almost unable to take it all in.

“Jessica Ellen Cornish, better known by her stage name Jessie J, is an English singer and songwriter.”

I mean, Jess told me that she sang for a living but never elaborated beyond that. I didn’t know she was famous or anything like that. The thought never even crossed my mind but now that I think on it, everything started to make sense. The people staring, her wearing hoods constantly when we’re outside, the way she always rushes to get in somewhere, especially her house.

I clicked on the Wikipedia link just out of curiosity. A lot of the information there seemed to line up with the things Jess told me, where she was from, her immediate family, and a few other things.

Everything else I saw was just a bunch of random tabloid articles and just based on what some of them said I could see why Jess didn’t go out much. The press is actually lethal here and it made me wonder what exactly about her was true and what wasn’t. I mean some of these were actually mean.

I shut my laptop and sprawled across the bed in mild frustration. I didn’t want to read anything else about Jess simply because I didn’t want to form any opinions of her based on what are probably lies. It makes me wonder why she wanted to keep all this away from me in the first place. I’m not the type of person to really want to pry but didn’t she think I would find out eventually considering the amount of time we spend together? Then again, I’ve been pretty blind to the obvious this entire time.

I sighed and rested my arm across my face as I closed my eyes, attempting to relax. I guess me and Jess really did have a lot to talk about.

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“Elena… Elena wake up,” An all too familiar sing-song voice filled my ears suddenly as I woke up from my unplanned slumber. I opened my eyes to see Jess hovering above me with an amused look on her face. I definitely did not expect her to be that close and it startled me slightly.

“You know you should really start locking your door, babe. I could have been a crazed murderer for all you know,” she said with a laugh.

I rolled my eyes at her and playfully shoved her off of me so I could sit up, resulting from a pout from her. I couldn’t help but laugh a bit at the childish look on her face. I suddenly remembered what happened earlier and my face fell serious as I turned on my side to face her where she lay on the bed.

“Jess, can we talk about earlier?” I asked.

Her face fell noticeably and I watched as she sat up slowly, resting her back against the wall whilst crossing her legs. I copied her actions and sat next to her but this time taking it upon myself to grasp her hand in mine in an attempt to comfort her.

“You know you can trust me right?” I said quietly.

I saw her nod silently and soon enough, she started to speak.

“Look, I was going to tell you. I really was. I just…”

She trailed off seemingly at a loss for words but I simply squeezed her hand encouragingly and waited for her to continue. I was going to let her explain at her own pace. There was no reason for anything to be rushed right now.

“…I’m a bit famous,” she finally admitted. “My stage name is Jessie J and that’s the reason why those people were acting the way they were today.”

“I know,” I whispered slightly.

“Wait. You do?” Jess looked at me in shock.

“Yeah, erm, I kind of googled you today after you left,” I admitted. “I would never look at you any different though, Jess. What you do for a job doesn’t change what I think of you and it never will.”

She sighed and looked down at our joined hands resting on her knee. She looked deep in thought for a moment as she seemed to be trying to gather her thoughts now.

“It’s not that I thought you would see me differently. I never thought that you would but, Elena, my life gets so crazy sometimes and it drives people away so much,” she said weakly.

“You thought it would scare me away?” I asked as I tried to make sense of what she was saying.

“My life is insane,” she repeated. “I get close to people and they just can’t handle the pressure of me being in the spotlight because it’s impossible for me to keep a lot of things in my life private.”

I let go of Jess’s hand suddenly and she looked up at me, startled. I could already see tears forming in her eyes again and I quickly moved myself so that I was kneeling in front of her.

“Jessica,” I started, using her full name so that I knew she’d listen to what I was saying. “You will not lose me ever if I can help it. I might not be as close to you as Holly or Clair but I could never see you as someone I’d purposely abandon.

“You mean a lot to me, okay? You’ve helped me in more ways than I think you realize and I could never, ever see myself be driven away from you. All right?”

I sat there searching her eyes for some sort of confirmation that she’d heard what I said. A couple of tears had started rolling down her face but she wiped them away quickly with her sleeve.

“How do you know,” she whispered weakly. “How do you know you won’t run away once you realize how hard it is to be in my life?”

“Have I run away yet?” I said simply. Jess shook her head and so I continued. “I’m right here and I’m going to be here just like you’re here for me now. I can’t see the future and neither can you but we’re not even there yet. We’re here right now.”

I half expected Jess to continue arguing with me. I’ve learned in the time I’ve been around her that she’s incredibly stubborn but for once she didn’t continue struggling. Instead she suddenly lurched forward and enveloped me in one of her amazing hugs. As expected, I felt the intense fluttering in my stomach at our close proximity but I ignored it as I squeezed her back.

“How do you always know exactly what to say?” I heard Jess whisper next to my ear.

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Later that night, after eating an amazing dinner than Jess made for us, we both laid in my bed side by side lazily watching the tv. To be honest, I wasn’t really paying attention to whatever we were watching at that moment. We were in the same position as last night though this time I was a bit more awake. My arm rested comfortably over Jess’s stomach as I snuck glances at her from time to time. Her head was rested against the top of mine as I rested against her shoulder.

Needless to say, I wanted to actually stay like this for the remainder of the night, and probably all week if that was possibly but of course as soon as the thought crossed my mind Jess’s phone went off. She rolled over slightly and picked up her phone only glancing briefly at the screen.

“Shit, I forgot my charger. Can I borrow yours?” she asked, glancing back over to me.

“Yeah it’s in that drawer there,” I pointed over at the bedside table.

She reached over and opened the drawer, finding my charger immediately but I noticed a slight hesitation as she grabbed it.

“What’s that book you have there?” she asked curiously.

“What book?” I asked as I sat up and leaned over her to see what she was talking about. When I caught sight of it my breath caught in my throat as I remembered what it was.

“That’s a photo album I brought with me when I came here. I forgot I had it to be honest,” I explained.

I moved back to where I was previously and laid back down. I remember grabbing it before I left my house because, although my intent was to start a new life, I didn’t want to lose everything. I knew there would be a possibility of me wanting to look back on everything. It just hadn’t come up yet and so the album was left forgotten until now.

“Oh okay,” Jess said as she slowly closed the drawer back.

“You can look at it if you want,” I said, knowing full well that’s exactly what she wanted to do.

“Are you sure?”

Instead of answering her I leaned over her once again and grabbed it out of the drawer, dropping it into her lap as I, once again, moved back to my spot. Jess grinned at me and sat up fully, opening the book in her lap as if she had just received the best gift ever.

Everything was quiet for a few minutes. The only sounds were from Jess turning the pages of the photo album and I simply laid there watching her do it. I couldn’t see exactly what she was looking at from where I was but every so often I’d see a smile spread across her face and I thought it was adorable.

“I love this photo,” Jess suddenly said.

I sat up so that I could see which one she was talking about and couldn’t help but smile myself when I saw it. It was a photo taken about a year ago of me and Grace fooling around on one of the older horses our parents had. I was riding up front while Grace was seated behind me holding onto me for dear life. We were both laughing hysterically in the photo and I could feel myself get a bit teary eyed at the memory.

“You miss her don’t you,” Jess whispered. It was more of a statement than a question.

“I miss her every day. Christmas might be the hardest time of all,” I said, suddenly remembering that it was December.

Jess closed the photo album and put it back in it place. She then turned around and laid beside me again, this time resting her arm across me comfortingly. I closed my eyes, practically feeling myself melt into her touch.

“You know around Christmas time,” I started. “We always decorated the house together. You know, as a family. That was the only time my parents ever really seemed to act civil to me anymore. I remember always having these stockings hanging over the fireplace with our names written on them in glitter.”

“And then mom would make cookies and we’d all just sit together in the living room listening to the radio. I think that was my favorite time of every year.”

I shook my head as I realized how I was going on and on about nothing really. I didn’t know what the point of telling her all that was but it just came over me suddenly.

“Sorry, I’m probably boring you,” I said guiltily.

“You could never bore me, Elena. I like hearing you talk about things like that,” she said sleepily as she cuddled even closer into me.

I sighed in content and closed my eyes as I felt her relax into me. The only sounds that could be heard from then on was our quiet breathing as we both slipped into a perfect slumber.

A/N  It's 4am. That is all.