CH 14: So, This is Love?

((Chapter art done by maradelara on IG.  Chapter song 'So This is Love' Jazz Cover by Selah Sue.))

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With her thoughts still swirling from recent events, Esme stretches in the water and lets out a blissful sigh, turning the knob of the faucet closed with her foot and climbing out to her feet. She stands and wraps a towel around her chest, opening the door slightly to allow some of the steam to exit. She begins to scrunch her hair with another towel, picking up a comb and carefully going through each knot until her hair is smooth. Pinning her hair back, she begins to freshen her face for the day. She bends down to rinse her face in the sink, coming up to look at herself through the mirror, dapping the water away with the towel. 

This routine was different then her typical before work rituals, her head still feeling light and carefree as she was dazed in her romantic fantasies. Hours pass, and now she sits at her vanity in her bedroom carefully going through each of her curls with some styling cream. How could Mimzy ever consider chopping all of her locks off, they were perfect! They were part of the crown that she wore proudly on her head, becoming so much of her identity over the years. Humming to herself, she stands and changes into a red button up with some cream trousers and puts on her flats before walking to Margo's room, knocking softly.

"Hey lovey, I'm headed to work. Need anything from outside?" She asks, looking fondly at the young girl who is laying on her bed writing in a journal. The dove was still very much a young girl, laying on her stomach and unleashing all her thoughts to the pages. Most likely, she was writing about boys, friends, school, and whatnot. She always came home to Esme at the end of the day with stories, taking comfort in the advice her wise sister could provide about the world. 

"No, Harold is going to take me dancing tonight. I'm very excited." Margo beams. Esme smiles and hums, she was so proud of her little sister for becoming so confident in this town. She remembers how frightened she was to first move here, and now she's a vision, smiling sweetly with such optimism and innocence. She rests her head on the beam of the doorway.

"My goodness..." 

"What?"

"You're all grown up." Esme smiles sweetly, "I remember when mother first brought you home." She walks over to her and kisses the top of her head, "I love you dearly." She says, "And I'm so proud of the woman you're becoming. I can't wait to see you grow."

Margo sits up and hugs her sister tightly. She buries her face into Esme's chest and sighs contently. Esme pats her head, running her hands through her short black hair. The two hold each other for a little longer than usual. Oh how she now wished she never let go.

"I love you, Es." Margo says softly. Esme pulls away and holds the young girl's face in her hands. Holding all her love in her hands in front of her in human form.

"I love you too." She pinches the girl's cheek. "Now, have fun, don't do anything too dangerous and..."

"Behave, I know." Margo smiles.

"Good girl." Esme says softly as she walks out of the room, closing the door. She walks down the stairs, grabbing her work bag before leaving the house.

The weather had remained fairly nice throughout the later part of the day. There was a breeze, but nothing too intense that required a jacket or anything more than a simple cover up. The streets were still filled with people, now including mothers picking up their young from school. The women that would scowl at her as she passed, secretly wishing that the inadequate pile of bones that they reluctantly laid next to at night was a certain charming radio host. They too obviously listened in on his broadcast, and it didn't take long for his audience to speculate that the particular dedication he shared today was meant for a certain performer to hear. 

There isn't much that their envious eyes can do to her now. Her heart was content and they could glare at her all they wanted to, it didn't make much difference to her. Eventually, she reaches the alley of the juice joint and turns right go inside.  

Esme turns her key in the door as she unlocks the side entrance of the parlor, quickly walking down the stairs. She walks into the dressing rooms, "Ladies~" she waves.

Mimzy raises a curious eyebrow, immediately observing the change in her friend's steps. The upbeat bounce she had to her, the light tone in her voice, "Chipper, are we?"

"Oh, I'm just happy is all. I get to perform tonight, it's been a while." She smiles, walking to her vanity and unpacking her clothes. She pulls out a long white sparkling gown and hangs it up on the rack next to her, slowly slipping out of her street clothes. She quickly changes into her new clothes and smiles, running her hands over her dress. It was something right out of the pearly gates, exquisite and heavenly. The other women pause, looking at her with amazement as if they too were entranced by her.

"Now if I was a man, I would be gushing over you." One of them said, the others turning to her with a strange look in their eyes. "Just sayin'."

Esme giggles and blushes, "Thanks, Lizzy." She says, turning to her reflection in the mirror. Her dress was covered in beads and different gems. It was a breathtaking gown, one her father had sent her all the way from New York. She walks to the door, Mimzy following her out to help with the tables.

"This the goal, huh? Get him to crack?" Mimzy smirks.

"I have no idea who you're referring to~" Esme sticks her nose in the air and walks confidently to the microphone.

Joe, the pianist, immediately raises to his feet when he sees Esme approach him, "You look just ravishing this evening Ms. Esme." He says, taking her hand and kissing it softly. He's completely unaware to the set of burning crimson eyes staring at him from the very last seat in the back of the parlor. This one better behave himself, or else the ticking fuse that was watching him may just burn the entire place to the ground.

Esme smiles and bows her head as she sits on the seat next to Joe, slowly pulling the microphone to her lips. She hums along with the band as they begin to play slowly.

Mmm, so this is love?

Mmmhmmm

So this is love?

So this is what makes life... divine?

I'm all aglow, mmm~

And now I knoww

The key to all heaven is mine~

She sways lightly to the music, her grip on the microphone light and gentle. Her dress sparkles perfectly under the dim lighting on the speakeasy. Alastor watches her from the back, his eyes locked on her. She was a vision, no an artwork, no...well he didn't have the words. She was angelic, like a dove sitting on that piano bench. 

I don't know how longer I can do this. He taps his finger against his glass. 

He knew this was going to end badly, but with every note she sang and with every sparkle from her dress, he couldn't help but fall harder for her. He wasn't one for domesticity, but there wasn't any rule that said it had to be that way. After all, it would be a confession, a little game and nothing more. This didn't mean that he wanted to settle down with her. 

Keep her in his home, plant roots, come home every day from dealing with those annoying, pesty mongrels to see her reading a book by the fire. To have her next to his side, watching the world with dark, hooded eyes, imagining the danger that lived behind them. To have a beautiful wife to show on his arm, but know that she held a world of crime and secrets within her. 

To one day, possibly, have her and nothing else...

My heart has wings, mmm~

And I can fly,

I'll touch every star in the sky

He isn't the one one to take notice of her special appearance tonight. A gentleman appears on stage to stand besides her, reaching for her hand to offer her a dance. Esme smiles and accepts as he waltzes her around, still singing. Alastor's eyes narrow and he follows the too like a hunting dog stalks it's prey.

So this, is the miracle

That I've been dreaming of

Mmm

So, this is love?

There's a pause in the lyrics as the gentleman continues to sway her across the dance floor, earning cheers from the other women. Esme smiles and throws her head back as the man dips her. She felt alive. She had no feelings for this man, none whatsoever, but my wasn't he charming? He had jet black hair and piercing blue eyes that continued to stare into hers with every swing and twirl. Esme giggles as the man returns her to the bench, kissing her hand once more before allowing her to sit down. He gets pats of admiration from his buddies as he returns to his seat. Esme giggles and returns to the song.

My heart has wings mmm

And I can fly,

I'll touch every star in the sky

So this is the miracle...

Her eyes pan to the back of the room where she locks with Alastor. With just one connection, her voice begins to tremble slightly. Seeing him maintaining such an intense eye contact with his gaze peering through his whiskey glass had her breaking out into a cold sweat. 

Oh gosh, there he was. There he was and he was entrapping her in his gaze as much as she was entrapping him. He wasn't avoiding her anymore, he was seeking her out. He sought her out like a shark seeks blood in the water, his eyes reflecting a dark, yet alluring, nature to them. He wanted her, and she could tell that there wasn't anything that her dastardly prince charming wouldn't do for her. It was tempting and she wanted every part of it. 

That I've been dreaming of...

So, this is love...

The piano grows louder, an angelic run of notes passes.

So, this is love...

She takes a step forward.

So, this is love?

The song ends and Esme smiles, turning her attention back at the crowd. She bows her head respectfully and walks away from the piano, heading towards the dressing room. Before her hand can reach the door knob, she pull pulled quickly into a side room and the door shuts. She yelps as she feels herself getting pulled, "Hey, what are y-" She looks up to see Alastor who has just locked the door. Her back is up against the wall as he's standing over her, his arm pinned to the door preventing her exit. He's breathing erratically.

"We need to talk."

"I thought you never wanted to see me again..." 

"Where would you get that idea?" He retorts sharply, looking into her eyes, "Why would I ever?"

"I - well you didn't say anything when I was leaving.."

"That doesn't mean I didn't want to see you! I - I'm not good at this sort of thing. I needed time." He says, looking away from her. "I don't know how I'm supposed to respond to you telling me such a thing. I -"

Esme looks down embarrassed. This is what she was worried about - making him uncomfortable. She didn't want to ruin what they had. He said it himself, he didn't know how to process her saying 'such a thing.' Was she wrong? Was her confession so blasphemous after all? She had set their friendship ablaze and now she was risking losing someone who brought her such-

"Don't do that..." 

"Do what?" 

"Look away from me with that look on your face, I -" He pauses and takes a deep breath. "I love you." He says bluntly. Esme's eyes widen as she scans his eyes for emotion. He's losing it, he's losing control. He's quickly becoming undone. "I love you..." He repeats, "I'm sorry I didn't say it before, I-" You have to be vulnerable with her if you truly desire her. A voice in his head whispers, "I tried not to..." he begins, "I tried so desperately not to love you, but I am so completely smitten over you it's unbearable." He feels himself getting lost in her gaze, "I'm a deer in the headlights. I'm a moth drawn to a flame that I can not ignore. I - I'm so intertwined with you that I have no other choice than to believe it's a soul connection at this point.." Esme's eyes begin to water, "I am yours, if you will have me." He says, lowering his head to break her gaze. He didn't like this feeling, his walls were down, his pride dimmed to a bleak flame, but he knew he had to do this in order to get her to see him fully.

Esme's voice shakes and trembles as she reaches up and pulls him down into a passionate kiss. The two stay connected for a little bit until Esme pulls back, her head still against the wall, as she looks up into his eyes, "Let's go home..." she whispers breathlessly.

~ Author's Note~

Can you tell that Alastor's confession is very much inspired by Bridgerton? LOL!



🖤Words: 2280🖤

~ Artemis🦌💗